Ever since knowing Ace, we had been inseparable. So much so, that I had never realized what it would be like to not have him. I wasn't sad. Not really. I just felt...hollow. Like something was missing. Something that would let me be happy. 

We had argued, fought, several times before. But each time, it had been trivial. And never had he ever yelled at me like he had Saturday morning. And even worse, never had I ever hurt him this way.

His expression lingered in my mind, haunting me. The way he had looked so broken. And it broke me more, knowing I had caused it.

Ace had really been the one to whom I had gone with all my problems. Now that he wasn't here, I didn't know who to talk to. I didn't expect my parents to take any of it too seriously. And the more I thought about it anyway, the more I realized how insensitive I had been.

I didn't see Ace in school on Monday. Out of resentment and hope, I hadn't texted or called him either. I hoped all he needed was just some time to understand where I came from. He was nowhere to be seen for the next two days, however. I had to leave home early to get to school on time, glancing hopefully at his designated parking spot which was either empty or taken by some strange car. My heart sank each time I saw his empty seat in class. My chest constricting in anguish. Dark swirling demons taking over my rationality. 

How lonely he must be. How scared and upset. And how I had made it worse. 

I wanted to talk to him. Being away from him was like physical agony. Like everything was fine but not okay at the same time. Like I could feel, and be numb at once.  All I knew was that I needed to talk to him. But what would I say? Apologize?  Try to explain myself?

I knew his symptoms were getting worse, which would mean that bright lights would hurt him. And he would have difficulty in reading. How long was he going to keep forcing himself?

He had stressed multiple times on the fact that he would still retain his peripheral vision, but the change was still going to be massive. Especially for him, considering how hard he was trying to keep things normal.

As much as I could tell from his denial, he was terrified. And maybe some of that seemed from his lack of knowledge about the condition and what it would bring.

I went home and did some more research, carefully learning about the progression of the disease. Bright sunlight would be harmful to him, as would any kind of addiction be. After some more browsing, I came across a middle-aged guy who had the same condition. He lived in the nearby town, a three-hour drive from Haywood and usually spent a lot of his time advocating about the condition and even teaching at several blind schools. He even had a lot of social media presence, videos and skits talking about the shockingly common condition. 

I sighed softly and leaned back. It might be good for Ace if he were to physically talk with someone who knew what he was going through. And from this guy's profile, I could tell he would be more than willing. It should be easy enough to get in contact with him. The only problem was Ace's stubbornness and refusal to talk to me.

I stared at the laptop screen for a while and copied the guy's email address. I took a deep breath and typed in-

Dear Walter,

I stared at the two words for a while before sighing and shutting my laptop. There was no point in contacting him if Ace was unwilling to even listen to me. Even though it was frustrating how stubborn he was, I could understand where it came from. He wanted to fight this battle alone, just like he had after his father's death. I wished he would let me in. I wished he would realize that it didn't make him any less strong.

It hurt me that he wouldn't share his grief with me. And I felt guilty for feeling so bad. Was I being entitled by expecting that from Ace? I knew I would always tell him everything. No matter how naked it made me feel. 

I rose to my feet and fished my phone out of my pocket. I locked and unlocked it multiple tines before opening his contact. My heart seemed to jump out of my throat when I saw his profile picture. It was the both of us, a few days ago at Malabar. Right after the concert when he had taken me to the cafe. A surge of warmth travelled throughout my entire being and with a trembling finger, I typed in a message, hoping he would respond.

'Hey,'

Single tick. No response.

I hoped he would respond whenever he came online, but his uncanny silence was already telling me what his answer would be.

'Ace, just let me be there for you. Please.'

I stared at the unsent message I had typed with a trembling thumb before locking the phone and throwing it onto my bed. There was no point. I wished I didn't have to beg him to let me in. I wished he would let someone else care for him just this once. And yet, how things stood, I couldn't see that happening.

*

I wasn't surprised to not see him the next day at the school. Or even the next. In fact, he was absent for three straight days. Each hour I felt like I was swallowing splintered wood. I kept glancing hopefully at his designated parking spot, my chest constricting each time that I was met with disappointment. A strange car at the place of his. 

On Thursday, I told myself that if Ace didn't come, I would go to his place. Maybe he was sick. Maybe he needed me. 

To my shock, however, that morning, his designated parking spot was occupied by his own car. My heart seized hopefully. I could finally see him. 

I almost ran to the classroom in my eagerness. I was massively relieved when I saw him in class, sitting quietly at the very back seat. He had his face rested on the desk in front of him, his fingers, perhaps subconsciously, scratching the wooden desk. My chest seemed to swell with some unsaid emotion. Like a breath I had been holding for ages, like a heart I had been cradling for years. Like a love, I had been yearning since eternity had suddenly manifested in front. 

It wasn't until I saw him that I truly realized how much I had missed him. How impossibly tangible the agony of separation was. I hoped he would come up to talk to me, but he didn't. And that afternoon, I made my decision.

Maybe it was time to burn fire with fire.

After school, I made my way to the parking lot and towards his car which he had just put into ignition. I reached in through the window and opened the lock, sliding inside and firmly banging the door shut after me. He gaped at me for a while. I studied his pale skin, somehow losing colour each day. His lips standing in stark contrast in their heavenly vibrancy. His eyes, as striking as the first time they met mine. 

"Ace, you need to talk to me," I said slowly.

His mouth snapped shut and he clenched his jaw, turning from me and instead placing his feet on the clutch. "I have nothing to say to you."

"Ace, please, you've got to listen-"

"I said, no, Spencer."

I was quiet for a while. I hated when he called me by my last name, as if distancing himself.

"NO, You listen to me, Wilde," I said, placing my hand on his which was rested on the gear. He seemed to take a deep breath and glared at me as I continued. "Ace, I-I think you're just scared. And...and I would be too. But it-it's not-" I gulped at the cold rage in his eyes. Why did he suddenly look like he hated me?

And for just a second, I felt scared as well.

"I-I did some research. And-and it says that to slow down the progression you can do a few things. Like-like nutrition and st-stuff. And- and I saw this guy who- I-" I gulped again and hurried forward, "I think meeting with someone like him... it would-"

I sucked in a sharp breath, realizing with a jolt how insensitive I had sounded.

"Someone like him? Someone like me?" he said, his voice dripping with mirth. "Again with that?"

"Ace...no. I j-just-" I clicked my tongue in frustration. Why wouldn't he understand?

"Stop it," he said. "Stop with your fucking research and suggestion and this bullshit that you have going on. Fucking stop your fake philosophical preaching for once and stop being my mom and instead be a friend."

Something about his words felt like a slap to my face.

Fake. He had just called me fake.

"F-fake?" I stuttered, my voice breaking as he went on ruthlessly.

"Yeah. Fake," he reiterated as the car started. "All of that optimism shit just sounds good on paper. Why should I have restrictions on myself because my genes are fucking messed up? It's just delaying the inevitable, isn't it? Actually-" he turned towards me, his eyes flashing. "I don't even know why you're so fucking bothered with this. It's not like you're obligated to do anything at all. Just fucking go ahead and forget about me. Okay? Just fucking leave me alone for once in your life, Miller Spencer. Stop being a suck up little bitch."

The car jolted violently as a loud bang sounded. Ace winced horribly, rubbing his eyes as the car stuttered to a stop with a loud screech. A lot of noises started around us, somehow muffled against the strange ringing in my ears. Each of his words felt like a knife plunged into my heart.

Ace seemed somehow worse than I felt, his eyes were wide as he took shallow breaths. It took me a second to realize what was happening and without quite thinking, I opened the door and staggered out, my head spinning.

Students had gathered around us and I realized that Ace had driven his car right into a different one. One that I recognized as Gus Burnood's. Ace emerged from inside the car after a while, his mouth slightly open, eyes dazed and glassy. 

An icy chill travelled down my back when Gus stepped out of the car and immediately walked over to us, towering over Ace. Before I could do anything, he grabbed him by his collar and shoved him violently against his car.

"I'll fucking kill you, Wilde."

Ace was quiet, for once. He seemed to be at a loss of words. I glanced shakily at where the collision had happened and saw to my horror that the entire bumper had fallen right off, a dent in the car as visible as day. The front of Ace's car was probably also dented, but there was no time to verify as Gus raised a fist, ready to punch a clearly shellshocked Ace.

And suddenly, it all clicked.

The over bright light, his sudden burst of rage, him rubbing his eyes. His eyesight had caused him to crash into Burnwood, which meant either to lay down and take a beating or admit his condition in front of him. None of which, seemed particularly healthy for him.

"Gus!" I yelled, taking a deep breath as he turned towards me, his features contorted in rage. "I-I-I was d-driving."

I wasn't sure if it was any better, but I knew Burnwood was never the bad guy. Just someone who didn't really like Ace, like many others in school, and might I say, for good reason.

"Y-you can drive?" he asked, raising an eyebrow even as his hand clearly slackened around a strangely quiet Ace.

"Clearly not," I gave a nervous laugh and pointed at his car. "I-I'm still learning. I'm really sorry. I'll fix it. I j-just forced Wilde to let me drive instead and I just-" I shook my head, my fingers numb, "I'm sorry. I'll fix it."

He let Ace go completely and I resisted the urge to run towards him. He swayed slightly on the spot, shaking his head as if still bewildered. His eyes met mine, a strange look in them that I failed to recognize and the plunging dagger in my heart forced me to look at Gus instead.

Gus rubbed the back of his head, shuffling his feet as if unsure of what to do. "Er-well I mean it was a mistake I guess. And..." he sighed and shrugged, "It is an old car. I was about to get rid of it anyway."

"It drives pretty well though," I said, clinging on to the opportunity to change the topic, extremely aware of the forming crowd's gaze trained on me.

He grinned. "Well yeah." He sighed and gazed sideways at Ace before back at me. "Well...I guess it's okay. Just...be careful, man. It can be dangerous."

I nodded earnestly. "Yes. Thanks, Gus."

He gave me half a smile, as if still bewildered by the entire predicament and leaned in to assess the damage to his car, which now that I saw clearly, was pretty badly dented in.

Before he could change his mind about forgiving, I walked over to Ace and grabbed his strangely cold hand. I gently led him inside the car, shutting the door and quietly sliding beside him.

"You can just drop me outside." I didn't want to walk home in front of Burnwood, knowing it would look strange considering he thought Ace and I were friends. For once, Ace didn't say anything and quietly revved up the engine. We exited the front gates and the car slowed down near the side pavement.

"Why did you do that?" he asked slowly, his voice hoarse. "He could've...he could've really hurt you."

"He won't. He's not the kind of guy you think he is, Ace," I said. "You just...get on his nerves."

I placed a hand on the door and opened the lock, flinging the door open as his silent gaze followed me. "You're...going?" he asked in a small voice.

"You....you wanted me to," I answered.

He was quiet, taking deep breaths as if he was struggling with something. His knuckles on the steering wheel were white. "Just...let me drop you home."

I gulped and straightened up, answering softly, "No."

He froze for a second before looking up at me. "No?"

I shook my head. "No."

I stood up straight. "Bye," I said shortly, turning around and quickly making my way away from him before he saw the shameful tears now spilling down my cheeks. 

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Joy to the world my exams are over! Can't wait to get back to writing :) Hope you all are liking the drama so far XD

On a different note, it's almost Christmas and New Years. If you're reading this, I'd like to offer you congratulations and a large bucket of popcorn because you survived. And let's be real, 2020 was not easy. You deserve credit. 

Thank you!