The next few days passed in blissful ignorance. A colourful dream under the haze of what I could only describe as 'love'. And although the idea itself was still surreal, maybe I was getting better at being used to his. 

The moments that I was with Ace, it was easy to forget about everything else. To just stay in the moment. But at the back of my mind, a nagging worry kept plaguing me. Just a splotch of ink on a clear parchment, a single patch of cloud in an otherwise bright sky. 

He didn't say anything about his condition at all. He continued to teach me to drive, without mentioning how the disease was progressing, and I was too scared to ask.  

I was on the constant lookout for his reaction to everything. How he would react to sudden bright lights, how he would read, how he would drive. So far, everything seemed to be normal, but I wasn't sure till how long it will last. And the worst of all, everything was taking a toll on him, he was just way too stubborn to admit it. 

On the other hand, things with Ace had never been better. I wasn't sure if I was simply too drunk on the feeling, or was he actually somehow more patient, sweeter and affectionate than he had ever been. 

However  the dream could only last so long. And way too soon, it was time for our grades to be released. 

On Tuesday, our teachers showed us our answer sheets and I was relieved that my performance was much better than I expected. I had managed to get an A+ in biology, English and chemistry, the subjects I had been confident in. I had got an A in physics because I couldn't do the calculations in time and had left the answers in the form of log. In maths however, I was disappointed that I had only managed a B+. It was much worse than my last year's A, but I was the only one responsible for that.

I looked over at Ace who seemed to be gazing off into the distance and rose to my feet, making my way over to his seat. "Ace, how was it?"

He bit his lip but didn't respond, averting my gaze, his cheeks pink. My heart hammered in anticipation and I reached for the stack of answer sheets kept on his table. I quickly went through his scores, my heart sinking lower and  lower with each subject. 

C in bio, C in chemistry, B in English and two F's, both in physics and maths. 

"Ace...what the fuck?" 

He sighed, still averting my eyes sheepishly. 

"Ace, you've failed in two subjects. How-?" Frustrated, I slowly went through his answer sheet, once again trying to find out anyway that he could get an increment. Just like the maths test before though, it seemed  like he hadn't tried at all. "Why didn't you write the formula at least if you couldn't solve it?" I asked, clicking my tongue. "Ace-"

He shrugged. "Who cares anyway? I'll just give the retest."

I gaped at him. "So? How the fuck is that an excuse? And what if you fail that as well? You'll be held back."

"Well, you already know I loooove eleventh grade. Might be a blast," he grinned at me as anger surged through my insides. How was he taking everything so lightly? Even after I had yelled and yelled at him to get his bearings straight. 

I grit my teeth and stomped away, my ears ringing. I felt like everything I had said had went right over his head. Either that, or it was getting much harder for him than he was letting on. I sat quietly at my seat, resisting the urge to have a tantrum in the middle of the day. 

I turned to look at him, my heart seizing in pain. He had gone back to staring at nothing on his desk, his fingers, perhaps unconsciously, drumming on the desk. 

I knew with his eyesight deteriorating, it was probably very difficult for him to read smaller text. He would never tell me how bad it had gotten anyway. He would just try to trudge through, so he wouldn't have to expose what he felt was his vulnerability. But this was much worse. 

And even though I was terrified of the way he would react, I had to try. 

*

I kept waiting for the right moment to talk to him about his condition. But no moment seemed just right. To the point where it was Saturday morning by the time I resolved to myself that come what may, I will ask him about it. 

However, the moment that I saw him, all thoughts left my mind. 

"Hey," he said, clearly struggling to sound cheerful as he opened to main door to let me in. His voice was croaky, like he hadn't slept or drank water for way too long. 

"Ace...wh-what's wrong?" I asked.

He sighed and shrugged, quietly turning and making his way towards the kitchen. I followed him, my heart sinking as I took in his sunken eyes and ghost pale skin. 

"Nothing just..." he leaned against the counter, reaching for an orange and turning it moodily around in his hand. "It's parent teacher meeting at Allie's school today."

"Oh," I said, the my chest hollow when I realized immediately what had happened. 

"Dave and Celia went," he continued, confirming my suspicion before sighed. "Maybe I'm overthinking."

"Maybe...maybe they just wanted you to rest or-" I stuttered to a stop when he glared at me, his jaw set. 

"She didn't even tell me," Ace said, the muscles in his neck tensed. "Allie would always tell me and this time she didn't even fucking tell me. This morning, I wake up to see that asshole Dave and that bitch Celia leaving. That's when they fucking tell me."

"That....that was unfair, Ace," I said, slowly walking closer to him. I struggled not to flinch at his harsh words. "It was unfair. But...I don't think she had any bad intentions-"

"Shut the fuck up, Miles," he said. "Don't you see what this is? Shes systematically cutting me off from Allie. It's a planned fucking thing."

"Ace-" I sighed, gently taking his hand in both of mine. "She's not going to cut you of-" 

He wrenched his hand violently away from me. "Yeah, right."

I bit my lip, not saying anything. In all honestly, I truly believed that Celia didn't do it to harm him. From what I could see, Ace seemed exhausted from perhaps another sleepless night anyway. Was that why? Maybe she had just wanted him to rest?

"Would you like some breakfast?" I asked as he went and plopped himself onto the living room couch. 

"No," he answered  shortly.

"You're not hungry?" I asked. "Did you already eat?"

"No and no," he answered again. "If you want to eat something go ahead."

"Okay," I sighed. "I'm making some scrambled eggs. With cheese. The way you like it. You sure you don't want any?"

He was quiet for a while  and I wondered if he was tempted by the offer. 

"Maybe it'll be easier this way," he sighed, completely ignoring my question. "If she already gets used to me not being there."

This time, it was my turn to ignore his words and I quickly started making the scrambled eggs. Hopefully tempting him into eating it. I worked in silence for a while, watching him from the corner of my eyes as he got to his feet and switched the television on, aimlessly surfing through the channels as he lay on the couch. 

I plated the scrambled eggs, hoping they would look good enough and made my way over to him. He glanced at me once before his eyes returned to the screen. 

"You sure you don't want any?" I asked, taking a fork full of the egg. He stared at me for a while before he sat up. 

"I can try some," he said, his cheeks pink as he opened his mouth. My heart fluttered nervously as I brought the fork to his mouth and he took  bite. I noticed the way his lips moved. "That's good."

I grinned at him, placing the plate in  front of him. "Go ahead."

He ate quietly and I was a little relieved that he was at least not starving himself again. He took another fork full and brought it to my mouth, offering it to me. My cheeks burned  a little before I manged to eat it. 

I hoped when he wasn't starving, he would be more receptive of my words. Maybe it was him simply being moody on an empty stomach, wouldn't be the first time that he did that anyway. After a few minutes, he sighed and rose to his feet, making his way over to the counter where he placed the now empty plate. He sighed and walked over to me, leaning to kiss my cheek gently. 

My heart hammered nervously when he leaned back and smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said. He sat down and sighed, leaning against the couch and closing his eyes. 

"Maybe you were right, Miles. I do tend to feel...perhaps a bit too much. Quite a damning weakness"

"It's not a weakness," I said softly. 

"Feels like it," he shrugged. He reached for the remote and started aimlessly surfing through the channels again. I remained quiet, steeling myself for the worst case scenario. 

"Um, Ace," I began, taking a deep breath and sitting up straighter. "How's your...eyesight? Is it getting worse?"

He was quiet for a while, his jaw clenched in what I assumed was defiance. I hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way and waited with bated breath for his reply. 

"It's...okay," he said, not looking at me. Then almost in the same breath, he spoke, "Why do you ask?"

"I...I guess I've just noticed...some things-" I sighed and placed a hand on his knee. "How bad is it?"

"Not worse," he said, his voice stoic. 

"Ace," I began, "You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not," he lied again, his jaw tensed dangerously. "I'm not, okay?"

"Ace,"  I tried again. He didn't respond, his eyes flashing and I decided to try a different approach. "Okay, you don't have to tell me how bad it is, but I need to know something."

"Whatever." 

I stuttered for a while before saying, "You've failed in two subjects, Ace. That's not good. I know you should've passed. You know that too don't you? There were enough questions there for you to pass."

"What the fuck do you mean?" he said, finally turning to look at me. 

I took a deep breath, balling my fists in an attempt to control  my numb fingers. "Ace...are you trying to be held back? Are you trying to fail?"

He gaped at me, his mouth slightly open. "Wh-what?"

"You're trying to fail...so you don't have to face the pressure of what comes after school. University. A job. You're avoiding-"

"You're fucking crazy," he said, rising to his feet and glaring down at me. "What, how much of a coward do you think  I am?"

"I don't think you're a coward," I said slowly. "I just...I am trying to understand your situation. And the way I see it...it's going to be very difficult for you. If...if you keep doing what you are doing. Academics next year will get harder. Competition will get tougher and...and you- you have a disadvantage."

The temperature in the room seemed to drop below zero as he glared at me. "Can you get to the damn point, Spencer?"

I looked away from him, staring at my hands clasped onto my knees instead. How could I say this to him? How could I say this to anyone? I had always been a diplomatic person my entire life, but I had no idea what to do in this situation. 

"I...I think you...I mean-" I gulped, struggling to keep breathing as I blurted out, "I think if this is too hard for you, you-you should try at a blind school."

The air around us solidified. Silence so loud I could hear my rampaging heart. I  finally managed to look up at him. His face was impassive, no emotions etched onto his beautiful features, which was somehow more frightening than his anger. 

"You want...you think I should go to a blind school?" he spoke in a staccato. 

"I...I don't think you should. I just...I think it'll be easier for you. Especially when it gets worse. You'll be able to concentrate and study better. You'll also have people like you around you and-"

"People like me?" he said, his voice dripping with malice. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I-I-" I took a deep breath, rising to my feet and forcing myself to meet his gaze. "I mean people who understand your struggle. People who know what you're going through-"

"No one fucking knows what I'm going through. And least of all, you," he said. I recoiled, stung at his words as he continued, "You think all visually challenged people are just the same?" 

"N-no-" I spluttered, shocked by his icy tone. "O-of course not. I just- I just-" 

"Fuck off, Miles. Fuck off," he declared, turning and walking away from there, leaving me to gape after him. I followed immediately, spluttering like a moron as he made his way to the staircase.

"Ace, no. Y-you're misunderstanding," I called after him as I stood at the foot of the stairs. "That's not what I meant. I just think- I thought- I did some reading and stuff and many people think-"

He disappeared up the staircase and I ran after him. He didn't react to my words, simply stomping into his room which I quickly entered after him. He turned to glare at me, his eyes flashing. 

"You're all just the fucking same, aren't you? You. That bitch Celia. That opportunistic bastard, Dave. Just fucking leave me alone. Can you do that at least? I don't need your damn suggestions on how to deal with my life," he finished. 

I stared at him for a while, my initial surprise and fear slowly transcending into anger and hurt. "You're so fucking unfair, Ace," I said, balling my fists and glaring at him. "You're so fucking unfair."

"Yeah. Nothing about this life is, fair, Spencer. Get over it," he scoffed and turned away, as if the conversation was over for all he cared. 

I took a deep breath and kept staring at him, struggling to keep my voice from trembling. 

"Look, I know what you've gone through is really traumatizing and I'm really really sorry for that. And I'm really sorry about everything that you're going through right now as well. But I cannot let you waste away like this. To punish yourself like this. To keep being so damn stubborn all the time. And you are really so fucking selfish?"

He grit his teeth. I  wondered if I was perhaps pushing him a little too much, but there was no way I could remain quiet. All the hurt and all the confusion, came crashing onto me till I was rambling like an idiot.

"Do you have any idea how difficult you make it for me? I'm trying everything that I can to help you on all of your expeditions and whatever the fuck. All you do is misunderstand me all the damn time. I don't think of you as a burden or a freak or whatever you think that I do. But every single second you keep putting yourself in danger again and again and again. You're just throwing away what you do have out of resentment for what you don't."

"Really? What do I have, Miles?" he asked, his jaw clenching as he glared at me. Almost instinctively, I took a step back, but decided to stand my ground. It was breaking me to see him punishing himself like this. To see him so scared. 

"You have-I just-" I took a shuddering breath, not knowing where to begin. "There is a lot to life, Ace. You need to start looking on the brighter side of things. You need to be more optimistic instead of being so fucking bitter at the world-"

His eyes flashed and I stuttered to a stop. Had I gone too far? 

"You're the one giving me moral lecture, Miles?" he said, his voice low and measured. "You are the last person to give me a moral lecture. You have no fucking idea what its like. You have no fucking idea what it's like to see your father bleed to death in front of you. You have no fucking idea what it's like-" I flinched as his voice rose, "-to live in the crippling fear every fucking day that one day I will just stop seeing. That everything is just spinning out of control and there is not a single thing I can do to stop it."

I took a deep breath. "Ace, I know. I-"

"So get out of your privileged head. You have your parents. You have a real future. I have not a fucking thing. So don't you dare to tell me to be positive."

I grit my teeth at the truth of his words. 

"Don't try to understand me, Miles. You won't be able to. You're way too lucky." His eyes were hard, cruel. Unlike I had ever seen them. I hated the way he sounded so resentful. And maybe, a little jealous. Was he? 

"Ace, I'm just saying that it's really hard to see you wither away like this. Especially for people who lo-" I sucked in a sharp breath before quickly changing my words, "-care about you."

He hardly seemed to hear me. His eyes were suddenly glassy, and for a second, I was afraid he was having blackout again. However, when he spoke, chills ran down my back. 

"We were there for a couple of hours," he spoke softly. Under the dim lights of the room, his eyes shone almost eerily. "For two hours, I watched my dad bleed. His head was smashed in. His eyes grotesque. There was so much blood...it's like all colour of the universe had faded next to the scarlet. You know how clearly I still remember it? And when I go blind, I will still remember that. Even if it's the last thing I remember."

I knew Ace had been in the car with his dad when they had met with an accident. I still wasn't sure what exactly had caused it, although I vaguely remember him mentioning something about a stray animal trying to cross the road that had forced his father to take a rash swerve, making the car spin out of control due to the slippery, rain covered road and against a cruel tree. 

"Tell me Miles, what did I do to deserve it?" His voice was almost a whisper, a tuneless harmony of agony. 

"Ace-"

"Don't you dare to judge me on what I do to get over it. Okay? Don't fucking lecture me."

Hate. So much hate. There was too much hate in his words. 

My heart hammered restlessly. Some part of me knew he was right. But then why did it hurt so much? I wished I could take his pain away. I wished I could give him what he wanted. 

"Maybe I can't understand. But there are people who can." He stood stock still, as if already anticipating what I was about to say. "And that's why I'm telling you about a different school," I said. "I actually found a  really great one. I th-thi-" The words died in my throat when I saw his expression. His eyebrows furrowed deeply, his features contorted with grief, as if the light behind his eyes had gone out. 

"You...you really want me to go to a blind school?" he asked, his voice so low I could nearly hear it. 

"I-I think it might be easier for you. And you will feel better-" 

"Get the fuck out of my sight," he whispered, his entire form shaking with anger. I took a step back, my blood running cold. Was he misconstruing what I meant? 

"A-Ace, I d-"

"I said," he yelled, finally losing it, "Get the fuck out of here!"

A lump rose up my throat at his tone. He sounded so hurt. So angry. So cruel. 

"I d-don't mean it th-" 

"You're just all the same," he said finally, gritting his teeth and turning away. I stood still, my heart hammering. What did he mean?

"Ace, what do you me-"

"Fuck off, Spencer," he growled with a finality that made my chest seize in despair. "Just fuck off. Leave me the fuck alone. All of you."

I flinched, almost sure that he would shove me. But he didn't, instead leaving the room himself. I heart his footsteps thundering across the hallway outside, before a small click and a subsequent loud bang told me he was in his father's study. The only other room on his floor. My eyeballs prickled, my chest suddenly hollow as he left me alone in the suffocating darkness of his room. Alone for the first time since knowing him. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello everyone! So I am done with three of my exams. They were alright. Let us leave it at that. 

I don't know if you guys noticed, but today I added a new chapter at the very beginning of this book, titled 'hey fb.' In case you are curious, fb refers to a person. Some one who used to be very close to me. And a huge part of my life. And my heart, even today. And I wrote that poem, and a dedication (which I might add in later as well). 

Well enough of that. Coming back to story, I'm honestly curious who's side you guys are on in this scenario? Let me know.

Thank you!