"Who the fuck has a crush on Taylor Swift!" I yelled in the middle of the crowded lunchroom. That comment was mostly unheard, although a few people definitely gave me weird looks.

"What, she's pretty hot," responded Badyah.

"You barely even know her music!?" I said

"And?" Said Badyah. I facepalmed. Badyah barely even knew Taylor Swift and was all "Taylor Swift is overrated" and now suddenly she had a crush on her? I was already weirded out by crushes in general, but having a crush on someone who lives multiple states away was a whole new level of weird, especially when that person already has a boyfriend.

"Taylor Swift, really? That's basic, I'm more of a Scarlet Johannson kind of person" said Hayden before he went back to gobbling up his hotdog like the little gremlin he was.

"Not you too Hayden," I responded. Why was everyone suddenly wanting to hit on people who they don't even know? I didn't get it. Badyah leaned in and put her clenched hand near my mouth as a sort of pretend microphone.

"Who's your celebrity crush?" She asked.

I responded with "I don't have one,"

Badyah had a slightly puzzled look on her face but she didn't press the subject further, which I was grateful for. Hayden however, did not give me the same level of privacy. "Have you ever had any crushes? I've genuinely never heard you talk about one," he asked.

I responded with "That's none of your business, so with all due respect please fuck off," Hayden nodded and went back to the lunch line to get more hotdogs.

That was just one of the many lunches where I felt out of place. At least once a week there'd be a day where all Badyah and Hayden could talk about during lunch was crushes and relationship drama going on between the popular kids. I was OK with the talk about crushes as long as it didn't involve me, but I could not stand the relationship drama. I already had to deal with the couples constantly saying mushy stuff to each other, and I constantly had to deal with girls saying "stop it" every 2 seconds while their boyfriends mess with them by pushing them or participating in another strange mating ritual. I didn't wanna have to be reminded of that in my free time.

That lunch, however, was different from the other lunches where Badyah and Hayden discussed their desire to hit on people they barely even know. This was because I was dreading the end of the lunch period where I'd get closer to having the same 2 hour presentation that made me and many other kids throw up in 6th grade. I'd have to go to the presentation that gives my fellow homosapiens a strange urge to moan in class. But that wasn't until 2 periods after lunch, so it was still a while before it would happen.

The very annoying bell rang and lunch tables began being dismissed. Badyah and I went to our 5th period class while Hayden went to his 5th period class. Hayden was weirdly secretive about his 5th period class, and Badyah and I liked to speculate about why that is. So far the running theory is that his 5th period class is a meetup for a doomsday cult that uses weed to contact their gods. It's kind of funny that if the theory was true, it would not be the first time one of Hayden's periods was a meetup for a cult.

Badyah and I walked into the chaotic science room. Science class is always a chaotic mess of kids throwing stuff and yelling because the science teacher doesn't give a shit. The only thing the science teacher did was write on the board a bunch of videos and quizzes we need to do online. Almost everyone does their Science work at home. The upcoming presentation had gotten the class of feral

homosapiens even more riled up and a group of guys were throwing wet toilet paper all over the room while a giant group of girls stood in the back gossiping. Badyah and I joined the group of chill kids who were trading Pokémon cards and tried to do our work, although halfway through we got distracted and joined in on the trading.

I tried to get lost in the intense and complex logistics of the Pokémon card stock market but my mind kept on wandering back to that imminent presentation. That god awful presentation. I couldn't hide in the bathrooms because the school staff literally escorted us to the library for it. The school nurse was off that day(A bold move considering last year's fiasco) so I couldn't trick her into thinking I was sick. So I was probably going to be stuck in there, squirming in my seat and wondering why no one seemed as confused as I was.

Badyah got me out of my thoughts by whispering to me "Should I make a move?"

"Huh?" I responded. Badyah gestured towards Melissa. Badyah started crushing on Melissa in 4th grade and had never really stopped. I was pretty sure Melissa checked all the boxes for being attractive. She had long black hair and brown eyes and was fairly short.

I didn't know how to respond to her question, so I consulted the one textbook my parents gave me on romance, Hallmark movies. Badyah was clearly going through something similar to what I'd seen in one of the many Hallmark movies my Mom forced me to watch. I thought it was the one movie with the conventionally attractive white couple meeting in a small town, but then I remembered that was every Hallmark movie. After searching through my in-brain database of Hallmark movies, I found a scene that could help. It was one where a girl decided to be in the moment and abandoned her career to talk to a guy as quickly as possible. That scene didn't make any sense to me, but neither did any other second of Hallmark movies.

"I think you should," I whispered back. Badyah followed my advice and introduced herself to Melissa. I once again immersed myself in the logistics of Pokémon trading and tried to ignore the upcoming presentation, but I couldn't. My eyes kept wandering back towards the clock over and over. Tick, tick, tick. It was as if the clock was mocking me for my dread. This went on for the entire period until I saw that the bell was only 12 seconds away. I packed up my stuff and braced myself for the last period before the worst PSA to ever exist.