Her throat became raw with the thick breaths that were pulsing through it as she closed the bathroom door behind her, her back pressed against it to prevent her knees from giving out. His gravelly voice was still ringing through her ears, igniting the very fire within her that she had worked so hard during the past eight months to put out.

He had looked so different yet so similar to the image of him she had dreamt of every night. His skin was paler, as though the color in his life had been taken from him, and the hallows of his cheeks had been more prominent. Most noticeable was the layer of scruff that had grown over his chin and jaw, which even in her shocked state, she had been desperate to trace her fingers over it.

She was lucky beyond belief that he hadn't recognized her. If he had, she probably would have broken down right then and there in front of him. She had been sure to let her waves of hair fall over her face so he wouldn't see her, and hid her distinctive accent just in case he was able to recognize her voice. Carmen could only imagine the hateful look in his eyes that would darken the emerald green once he saw that it was her, the woman who had stolen so much from him and left without a trace. She was too cowardly to face him after everything she had done.

"Babe?" A knock came to the bathroom, and Carmen felt a relieved sigh leave her lips when she heard Barbara's voice. "Do you need some clothes to change into?"

"Yes," her voice came out as a broken whisper. She cleared throat. "Yes, please."

She pushed her back away from the door and went over to the sink. The rusty faucet creaked as she turned on the warm water, and dipped her hand under it to wash away the blood that was smeared across her palm. She hissed in pain, the cut stinging as the warm water seeped into it. The crimson liquid stained the water as it filled up the sink and went down the drain. As she washed the blood slowly recede, she was reminded of the dark wine that had been his favorite. Pinot Noir.

You will go out tonight and forget him, she told herself, hoping it wasn't a lie. Maybe she would have to ignore her no drinking rule for the night, for alcohol was certainly something she needed.

A knock came to the door again and she turned off the faucet.

"Give me a sec!" She tossed the towel in the trash can and wiped her hands against her apron, a habit, and moved to the door. Grabbing a fresh towel, she wrapped it around her hand to cover the welt, the pain reduced to a slow ache now.

"Thank you so much," she gushed as she cracked the door open, taking the folded clothes from her coworker. She tried to ignore the throb in her hand that intensified each time she moved it.

"Of course," Barbara smiled. "I'll wait outside and call us a taxi." She turned on her heel and Carmen shut the bathroom door.

The clothes consisted of a low cut top and flowy, black skirt. Months ago, Carmen would have been reluctant to wear such an outfit, but now her taste had accommodated her new lifestyle. She slipped on the top and tugged up the skirt, feeling comfortable and sexy in the clothes. Her eyes drifted to the mirror in the bathroom and her teeth chewed at her lip as she stared into the cold dark eyes looking back at her.

She was beautiful, she was well aware of that. But now there was a resurfaced sense of vulnerability in the depths of her black orbs, which the sight of Harry had brought out. She blinked her eyes rapidly, as if to erase him from her mind, and to regain her collected composure. He was no longer a part of her life, she had to remember. He was out in New York doing whatever it was he was doing, and obviously he had moved on. The girl who was sitting with him, even in the short time Carmen had seen her, displayed the exact qualities that Carmen lacked. Kindness, selflessness, stability; these were things that she would never have, and Harry deserved a woman who could provide him with such.

He deserved the best.

With this in mind, she smiled sadly at her reflection and pushed out her chest. She was still Carmen Vicino, and she walked out of the bathroom with a confident sway of her hips, her short hair bouncing above her shoulders. No matter how arrogantly she walked though, or how much she smiled, there would still always be a crack in her facade where a certain man had managed to seep into her black heart.

****

"I wonder if that waitress is alright," Gemma pondered aloud as she took the last bite of her salad. Harry's appetite, for some reason, seemed to have left him, for now there was a plate of cold, uneaten steak in front of him.

"I'm sure she is fine." He secretly hoped the words were true. A part of him, a part that he didn't want to acknowledge, was weighing the idea of going to the kitchen to ask if her hand was alright. Perhaps he truly was a kind person.

As if on cue, his eyes drifted to the front of the high end restaurant, his gaze passive. He caught sight of the head of short, black hair, and his eyes squinted. It was her, the waitress from before, only now she was dressed out of her uniform. He couldn't help but notice the way the skirt adorning her body hugged her wide hips as she walked to the door. He also noticed that her injured hand had been wrapped in a paper towel. Good.

Fate. It truly is a funny thing. Perhaps it is just the word that we give for the things in life we can't understand, or we don't want to understand. It is the energy that manages to mend broken souls in just a short moment, but it is also the energy that had torn those souls apart in the first place.

It had to have been fate at work when she pushed the door open, and a cool gust of New York air pushed at the strands of her hair, causing them to flutter away from her face. Harry's eyes widened and the sight of her face seemed to have robbed his lungs of air, the last bit of color draining from his face.

It was her.

Of course it was her.

New York.

The way she refused to look at him.

The warmth he got from her touch.

It was like that brief moment forced a tidal wave to knock down the frail walls of his sanity which he had been hiding behind since the moment he stepped out from that shabby apartment, eight months ago, only to see that his dark beauty had left and taken his car with her. The gutted sting of her leaving resurfaced in the pit of his stomach and his hands grasped the edge of the table. He held it tightly so that his knuckles turned bone white.

"I have to go," his words came out no louder than a whisper, as though if he raised voice anymore, it would shatter his heart all over again. His sister's lips were moving, a worried expression etched over her face, but he didn't care to listen to her, nor was he able to.

He stood up from the table, so suddenly that the movement nearly knocked over his glass of wine, the crimson liquid rippling. His heartbeat was as heavy and hurried as the thudding of his boots against the floor. She had already closed the door of the restaurant behind her, so his legs took long strides, and he rudely pushed past the waiters that were in the aisles.

The air was crisp and bit at his exposed skin as he stepped out of Villa Parma. Harry's eyes frantically searched around for sight of her, a heavy breath accumulated in the back of his throat as he saw her, just about to get into a taxi.

"Carmen!"

His voice was muted by the symphony of cars passing by, and people crowding the streets. He weaved through the swell of bodies and called for her again, cupping his hands around his mouth to accentuate his voice.

"Carmen!"

Her leg was just about to step into the cab, but then her head snapped towards where a man was running to her, practically shoving people out of his way. Her face paled.

"Carmen, come on," her coworker urged her to enter the taxi but Carmen stood frozen in place, as though her feet were cemented to the ground.

He finally neared her, heavy pants leaving his lips. His slender fingers laced through his winded hair and he failed to blink as he stared directly at the one thing he had been so keen on forgetting. There was a good distance between them, but yet they both felt as though they were suffocating in each other's presence.

Harry couldn't help but compare the moment to the first time they met, in his club. Then, he had towered over her and his ego had fed off the advantage that he thought he had, even though now he realized that she had been playing him- and winning- ever since the beginning.

"Your hair," he finally spoke. His mind was racing, unable to grasp ahold of the situation. Doe-like, dark eyes were staring at him as though he was just a hallucination, another figment of her dreams. "You cut it."

"Yes," she tucked it behind her ear and swallowed thickly.

Harry ran the palms of his hands over his face and looked up at the sky for a brief moment, as if to collect himself.

"Jesus... fuck, it's really you." He shook his head in disbelief and looked back at the beautiful girl before him. She looked so different yet so familiar, like a distant friend he hadn't seen in years. Her face was softer, her eyes more gentle, as though the coldness in them had been replaced with vulnerability. She was just as gorgeous as he remembered, of course, with her full chest and hips and her prominent cheekbones. For a moment, he got lost in her enchanting beauty, as they stood there in a street in New York, so far away from where they had met each other.

"You stole my car," he huffed out a breath and pointed his finger angrily in her face, teeth gritted together. "And my money."

"I needed a way to get here," she explained quietly, her voice getting lost in the wind. The air between them was thick with an unresolved tension, so many questions and secrets and broken hearts, none of which had ever been answered or cured.

"Carmen, we really need to go," Barbara peeked her head outside of the cab and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She silently questioned Carmen if this man was bothering her, to which Carmen shook her head smally.

"I'll get another one," a shaky smile spread over her lips as she looked to her friend. Barbara eyed her worriedly before nodding and closing the door, the taxi car driving off and leaving the two lost lovers to themselves.

Harry licked his lips. "I should have known," he groaned and grabbed fistfuls of his long hair. "New York. You said you wanted to go here." His eyes met hers and he wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, shaky breaths leaving his lips. He wanted to be angry with the girl who had left him to eight months of pure torture, but he couldn't. He didn't even think he would see her again, so being able to stare into the eyes that he loved so much made all of his potential fury dissipate.

"I looked for you," his voice cracked. "I looked all around London, then all of England. But then I realized-" he laughed pitifully and shook his head, the wind making his unkempt hair dance. "You didn't want to be found. Not this time."

She nodded slowly in agreement but stayed silent. Harry's eyes searched hers expectantly.

"How are you?" He couldn't think of anything else to say. There was a slight edge to his voice, probably because part of him hoped she had been just as miserable as he had.

"Good," she smiled genuinely and pushed the tousled hair away from her face. "I really like it here. I have a job, and my own apartment-"

"At my expense," he couldn't help but purse his lips.

She sighed and solemnly nodded her head. "I know. I am truly sorry for that Harry. As soon as I have the money, I will pay you back. I swear."

"I don't want the money, Carmen," her name tasted foreign on his tongue. "I want answers. I have spent the past eight months driving myself insane because I kept thinking about what it was that I did wrong. What is it that I could have possibly done to make you stay? I gave you everything! My heart, my very breath, all the clothes and things you could've possibly wanted."

"I know," she cut him off and turned her back towards him. Her voice was so soft, so fragile that Harry felt like if he said or did the wrong thing, she might shatter right in front of him. So, he kept his lips sealed.

"I will call us a cab," she muttered softly, not looking at him.

***

i have a new story called Salutary that yall should go check out :-) its basically just gonna be sex lmao so if ur not into that sort of thing its cool

don't be annoying and comment about how u would have rather this end. this is my story, my ending. one more chapter left:)

ily