Her knees were bent, dark hair fanning across the leather, body curled into the couch. Her eyes, threatening to flutter shut out of boredom, were fixed mindlessly on the large screen of the television, some random reality show playing. She wasn't paying much attention to it, though, her mind caught up on her impatience and... was that excitement?

She glanced at the clock on the wall, reading it for the tenth time in the past minute, as if looking at it would somehow make Harry come back quicker. Her stomach was fluttering with an unusal feeling, and she couldn't help but be worried by it. She was laying there waiting for him, her hair curled to perfection over her shoulders, and one of his large white button-ups hanging loosely on her small frame. The only other article of clothing adorning her was the black lace hugging her lower region. The feeling of having to do her makeup and hair precise did not go unnoticed. She wanted to look perfect for him, to the extent that she was almost nervous. She had drawn the thick layer of eyeliner over the lid of her eye about three times, wiping it off because it wasn't straight enough or thick enough, and then finally settled with the way it looked the fourth time. It seemed that the eager tremble of her hand had made doing her cosmetics rather challenging.

The last time she had felt this way was when she was sixteen. Innocent and young and not yet tainted by the harshness of reality. It felt like a lifetime ago, back when she was in high school. It was the night she had lost her virginity, and she could just barely remember the way her stomach had fluttered nervously as those hands had touched her where no one ever had before.

"I need a drink," she murmured to herself as the show she was watching ended. All of this nervousness and the fluttering in the pit of her stomach- this was not Carmen Vicino.

It was making her sick.

She got up from the couch and made her way to the kitchen, the bare soles of her feet padding against the marble flooring. Propped on her toes, she searched through one of the cupboards, smiling triumphantly when her eyes landed on the bottle of scotch. Her arm was outstreched, reaching for it, her fingertips barely grazing over the glass. She huffed childishly in frustration, lifting herself up onto the counter and sitting on her knees to gain some height. She reached for it again, tongue swiping over her lip in focus, and eyebrows lowered. Her hand wrapped around the bottle, but she wobbled slightly, nearly knocking it over.

"Woah there."

She nearly shrieked as two large hands placed themselves on her waist suddenly. Her body was removed from the counter, an arm hooking under her thighs, the other arm wrapped around her shoulders, holding her closely to a warm, thick chest.

"When did you get here?" she blinked, peering up at the strong-cut jaw and amused eyes of her captor. Her arms thoughtlessly wrapped around him as he continued to hold her up, her hands feeling at the small curls hugging the nape of his neck.

"Like right now," his lips curled up as he looked down at her. "You were too caught up in your determination to reach that bottle to notice."

"Oh."

Something looked different about him as she stared up at his face, as if in a trance. His eyes didn't mean hers fully, and his pupils were wide so that only a thing ring of the emerald green showed. His skin seemed to cling looser to his cheekbones, giving a tired, unkept appearance.

She frowned and reached her hand up to cup the side of face, the soft stubble tickling the palm of her hand. Carmen didn't know why, but she felt the need to ease his obvious stress. She didn't want him to feel anything other than content and pleasure.

"How were your work meetings?" she asked, her voice light as her hand caressed his cheek. He nearly purred as he leaned into her touch, the coldness of her hand awakening every nerve in his body, and the softness of it making him want to fall into a deep sleep, with her in his arms.

"Fine," he said shortly. "It was hard to focus, though, because I kept imagining you sucking me off under the desk." He gave her a flirtatious smile, and she rolled her eyes, her teeth biting into her lip to keep from grinning up at him. Despite the emotionless and intimidating aura he gave off to most people, Harry never seemed to have that affect on her. Everything he did was charming to Carmen, so charming that it made her feel like putty, her mind melting whenever he gave off this boyish side to him. It made her feel like they were just kids, two kids messing around with nothing but each other to worry about.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the reality of it.

Harry set her down, her bare feet meeting the floor again. It was thoughtless from there; Carmen wound her arms around his neck, her lips having a conscious of their own, leaving red lipstick stains as they moved along his jaw, since she couldn't reach any higher up. She could feels the muscles in his face relax, and he took several gulps, as if his throat was becoming dry.

Harry Styles could barely think. Her heavenly scent was intoxicating, drowning out the cautions Stephan had given him. Fingers digging into the sweaty palm of his hand, eyes not able to focus on anything except the white paint of the cupboard in front him; he wanted to enjoy her presence, but he didn't want to let himself completely let his guard down.

"Carmen," he spoke as firmly as he could manage. It was difficult to smooth out the shakiness in his voice as her lips moved to his neck, kissing over his trachea and stealing his ability to breathe.

"We need to talk about something," he spoke again. His words did nothing to stop her, though; her tongue peeped out to massage figure eights over his warm skin. He nearly forgot what he was even fighting her for, quiet moans sounding from deep within his chest. Carmen's hands grasped the fabric of his shirt, moving it to unveil the swirls of ink painted under his collarbones. She attached her lips between the swallows, just over his sternum, her mouth carrying out its overwhelmingly pleasurable assault, and Harry's body became immobile.

"No-" he tried to protest one last time. The image of her with another man plagued his mind suddenly, and elicited his ability to move and think properly. "I said stop," he all but growled, pushing her back by her shoulders, a little too forcefully, her back meeting the marble countertop.

"Why?" she breathed, not having to fake the hurtful expression that passed over her face. Did he not want her anymore? No, that was impossible, and much too disheartening for her to even think about. Harry not only wanted her, but needed her; his heart belonged to her, along with his body and mind and soul.

"We need to talk," he spoke, his voice leaving no room for her to try to argue or seduce him. His pupils widened even more, devouring what was left of his green irises, his eyes nearly black. Carmen stepped closer to him, placing her hand gently on his shoulder.

"Okay," she mouthed and nodded her head slowly. "What is it you would like to talk about, Harry?"

"Us," he motioned his hand between their bodies. "I need to know that you're here for the same reasons that I am."

Not this again.

Carmen groaned inwardly. Why did he have to ask such probing questions? Why did men fail to live up to their sex-driven, careless stereotypes anymore?

"And what reasons are you here for?" she inquired, trying her best to keep her voice even and genuine. She wanted to feel his hands on her, touching her greedily, not discuss such unimportant things like 'defining their relationship'.

"I really like you, Carmen," he admitted, his voice still firm and low. He grabbed her jaw gently and forced her eyes to meet his. He stared into them intently, trying to find a crack that might give way to what she was feeling, but there was none.

"I like you, too," she whispered. Harry's eyes narrowed at her. "But there's more to it than that, isn't there? You keep feeling so uncertain of my feelings towards you. There must be something bothering you, Mr. Styles." She place her hand over his, rubbing her thumb into the the back of it. It was gesture her father used to do whenever she threw tantrums as a child, and it usually did wonders to calm her. "Tell me what's wrong, Harry. Tell me so I can fix it."

He took a deep breath, as if to filter out his words. How was he supposed to explain this to her, when he could hardly even wrap his own head around it? How could he explain the way his mind seemed to always drift to thoughts of her, even when they were apart? How could he explain to her that for the first time in his life, he felt like he had a purpose that didn't exclusively serve himself?

He wettened his lips. "I have never felt this way about anyone, or anything." He didn't want to come off as uncertain, so he kept his voice and gaze steady, his body tense. "My whole life has been so meaningless, Carmen, but with you- and I know we haven't known each other very long- but with you, I feel like there is meaning finally. You make me want to better myself, for you. I want to be everything you want and need, and I want to give you everything you could ever possibly desire."

He paused for a moment, and Carmen stared at him, still not expressing anything, so he continued. "The idea of you with another man drives me insane," he spoke, his eyes darkening with that plague of envy that never seemed to leave him these days. "I want you to be with me, only me. And I only want us to continue seeing each other if those feelings are mutual."

Carmen blinked.

That scotch was sounding even better now.

"Harry..." she let out a quiet breath, taking the shortest moment to think of what was the best thing to say. Obviously, she had to lie, but something in her, something that had never been there before, was tugging painfully at her gut at the thought of lying to him after he had just spilled his heart to her. It was like the beating organ laid in the palm of his hand, surrendering, and all she had to was offer her his in return, at least a piece of it.

She couldn't do that, though. Maybe a slim part of her wished she could, but she couldn't.

Harry took her silence as the worst. He closed his eyes and flared his nostrils slightly, trying his best not to be angered.

"It's okay." His voice was clipped. She could already sense the distance he was creating between them mentally. "I understand."

He began to pull away but she quickly wrapped her arms back around his neck, practically jumping into him as she pressed her lips to his, missing a bit and kissing the corner of them instead.

"Give me time," she whispered, staring into his eyes and trying her best to not let herself think. It would've been a lot easier if she had had that glass of scotch. Thinking always ended up with her running away.

"Will time really change anything?" he whispered back, his eyebrows lowered. He wasn't upset with her, really. Harry was angry and annoyed at life, more of, for finally giving him a taste of what it was like to be happy, but not giving him happiness in its entirety. Harry wanted to be able to wake up with a smile every morning, to no longer drown in the feeling of emptiness that he had been surrounded by for years. He was tired of poker and faceless women being the only things that made him the least bit entertained. He was tired if being alone, having no one to talk to, not even his family.

"I don't know," she spoke truthfully. Carmen had no idea what she was doing at this point, but she did know that what she was doing was wrong- so, so wrong.

That didn't stop her, however.

"I've never been with anyone in that way, Harry." Her voice trembled just the slightest with vulnerability, the truth finally seeping into her words. "I don't know how to love people. I don't know how to open up. I want to, but I... I can't."

Harry's eyes gained a hopeful gleam in them. He would take anything she could give him. "Yes, you can." He smiled and gave her waist a reassuring squeeze. "You can, baby. I'll give you time. Just promise me you will at least try."

She could never promise him that.

She nodded her head anyway, though.

"I promise."

-----------

I HAVE A NEW STORY PLEASE GO CHECK IT OUT, FOR ME?? ((((-:

i was going to make this longer but i decided i'll just update again tomorrow instead

please vote & comment. i have children to feed