Pain
"What was all of that about?" Armin asked me as we watched Marco quickly speed off from the parking lot of the theater, "Hello! Jean!" I quickly snapped back into focus, turning to see the entire group staring at me. "Um" I stuttered, "I don't know. His dad made him go home." "You guys were yelling" Bertholdt exclaimed, "What did you say to him?" "N-nothing..." I lied, trying to poker-face my way through the conversation. "No" he said, "He was clearly upset. What did you do?" I glanced over to Armin who was clearly putting the pieces together. No one could get anything past him as he was already top of the class. "Guys" Armin said softly, "Leave him alone." The group was obviously still angry and completely ignored the small boy's remark. It was evident that Marco's friend group cared deeply about him and wanted the best for him. "No!" Mikasa shouted, "What happened?" I knew that I should not go up against someone as strong and daunting as her. I was torn. Do I tell them or not? They're going to kill me if I don't. "I told him that I was falling for him" I blurted out in the empty parking lot of the theater. The group's faces completely changed as if a sense of relief swept over them. Armin, looking the most relieved, now looked angry. "You guys shouldn't have forced him to do that" he yelled at the group in complete rage. Everyone was completely shocked. No one had ever heard Armin so upset over something but it made sense. Marco was his best friend and he did not let anyone out him before he was ready. "I-I'm sorry" Mikasa said after a long moment of deep reflection. I guess its out in the open now I thought to myself as the others muttered out apologies. "I-It's fine. I mean it's not like you could have actually guessed that was going to be my answer. Besides, it doesn't matter anyways.. I mean he literally ran away after I told him." I said glaring at my shoes and trying to avoid looking up at them. I can't believe he just left it like that.. "I didn't mean for it to just come out. I don't even understand what I'm feeling, so I definitely didn't want to push my feelings onto him. But we were just arguing about his stupid dad and I just blurted it out to him." I groaned out, frustrated with myself and the situation. God I'm such a dumbass! "Jean.. You can't take that literally from him. You took him off guard, that's all." Armin said, pulling me from my thoughts and resting a comforting hand on my shoulder."Yeah! I mean can you blame him? We all thought you were straight as a board!" Sasha joked causing a small ripple of laughter spread amongst the group, the tense atmosphere finally lifting. "Right!" Connie said with a laugh, "Plus we all knew he had a thing for you, so it must have come as a surprise when the guy he's literally been lusting over for the past few months admits that he likes him and- OW! Sasha! What the hell was that for!" Connie exclaimed, rubbing his head after Sasha's loud slap cut him off from his ranting. They continued to argue, but I completely lost track of their bickering as Connie's words finally set in. "W-wait, what? He's had a thing for me? Marco likes me?" I sighed to others. Sasha immediately smacked her face in frustration. "Are you KIDDING me?!" she yelled, "He looks at you like you're a tall glass of water and he's a thirsty boy." The group exploded into laughter, myself included. I finally found myself actually having a sense of trust in the group. I did not think I was gay, but something about telling them about this made me feel relief. "Well" Armin said, grinning, "Are you going to go to him or what?" Everyone looked at me as if I was some kind of superhero going to save a damsel in distress. "Jeez, you idiot" Eren shouted, "go to him." Without delay, I instantly found myself being the superhero of the story, as I quickly jumped into my car and drove to Marco's house.
What am I doing? I thought to myself as I noticed myself speeding towards Marco's house. I don't even know if he's at his house. Should I call him? What if his dad has his phone? A million other questions ran through my head; every one of them involving Marco. I could not believe that I was falling for him. While driving around for what felt like forever, I thought to myself I'm just going to call him. I picked up my phone and called Marco. "Jean?" I heard from the other line, a familiar voice but clearly upset. "What's wrong" I yelled into the phone. "I-I'm in Stohess Park" I heard Marco say, fighting to get his words out. "Are you okay?" I asked. My mind was racing. I could feel my heart pounding as I was jumping to every conclusion possible as to what had happened to him. "Can you come get me?" he said, quietly. I already knew the answer. "I'll be there in ten" I responded quickly before ending the call. I had never acted this way for anyone before. I knew he was a friend and I cared about him, but this was more than just a friendship. I've never cared for someone as much as I did Marco.
I pulled into the empty parking lot of Stohess Park. The sky held a beautiful sunset as it was slowly turning purple and orange. I got out of my car and walked swiftly to the front gate. I glanced down and noticed random drops of red on the concrete beneath me. Panic started to settle again. I walked through the park, looking everywhere until I heard a slight sniffle coming from a bench to my right. "Jean". I turned to see Marco sitting on the bench using his shirt to stop the blood coming from his nose. I ran up to him and knelt on the ground below him. "What happened?" I asked him fighting back my own tears from seeing him so upset. I already knew what had happened. I know his history with his family so it was painfully obvious who did this to him. He did not even have to answer. He put his face in his hands and started sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't go back" He said, while his face was still stuck in his hands. "What do you mean?" I asked placing my hands on his thighs. "My dad kicked me out and took everything but my phone." My anger shot up instantly but there was nothing I could do about it. "Why?" I asked. "He found my journal for Levi's class" He answered, slowly trying to stop sobbing, "he saw what I wrote about him and you." "About me?" I asked, suddenly extremely curious. "Jean" he laughed, "It's no secret that I like you too." His words made the scene much more bearable as he was trying to lighten the mood for both of us. I slowly stood up and sat on the bench beside him. I wrapped my right arm around his shoulder as he leaned his head against me. "I'm sorry" I said to him, pulling him closer to me "Let's go back to my place. My mom is a nurse so she can help fix you up." He looked up at me with a face of relief. "But" He stuttered, "Will she mind?" I instantly started laughing. "My mom loves you more than me" I said with a sincere smile, "She won't. I promise."
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