eighteen || childish emotions

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"Let me be straightforward with you," Yeonjun said and mixed some creamer into his coffee, twirling the brown and white liquid together creating a beautiful light beige color in his cup, tapping the spoon on the side to get the extra drops off he placed it down gently on the table. "Taehyun you're the dumbest person I've ever met...Like ever."

Taehyun's mouth dropped after hearing what Yeonjun had just said. His shocked face morphed into an irritated one as he watched Yeonjun sip his coffee very. very. loudly.

He had asked Yeonjun this morning to meet up with him when he had time, and he thought that the elder had finally warmed up to him when he agreed to the met up, that he wouldn't have that slightly irritated tone in his voice when talking to him, boy he was wrong. Grumbling slightly he slouched in his seat looking away, all he wanted was a bit of information about Beomgyu and why the elder was possibly ignoring him.

"No...Listen hyung, I just want to know if Beomgyu hyung gave you any reasons why he is ignoring me!" Taehyun said sitting up and placing his arms on the table he looked at Yeonjun who stared at him blankly.

"I don't know, why should I tell you? Shouldn't you be happy that he's finally leaving you alone, why are you so desperate to find this shit out when you practically beg for Beomgyu to leave you alone every day?" Yeonjun deadpanned as if his patience with the younger was running thin.

Taehyun's body tensed up after what the male said, over and over again everyone has told him that and not even he could answer that question. His words would start to jumble up if he gave his reasoning but it was a feeling inside of him that ticked him to the edge whenever Beomgyu would ignore him.

"I don't know, okay? But i'm so..." Taehyun paused making sure he chose his words carefully. "Beomgyu hasn't spoken to me ever in a while and i'm stubborn. I-I don't like it, for some reason this annoying feeling forms inside of me whenever hyung doesn't spare me a glance." He said trying his best to explain what he felt.

Yeonjun hummed and nodded, thinking for a few seconds as if he was making a decision in his mind he gently placed the cup down and stared at the male. "What did you do two days ago?"

"Huh?"

"What did you do two days ago?" Yeonjun repeated himself.

Taehyun tilted his head in confusion at the random question, squinting his eyes he scoffed slightly. "Is this a joke? Hyung you aren't answering my question."

Waiting for a few minutes he suddenly realized that the elder wasn't joking at all. He saw Yeonjun's eyebrow raise as if he was signaling for Taehyun to go on and explain what he had done two days ago.

The male huffed softly and thought about it for a second. "Well, uhm...I went out with Yeojin! We went out on a date, do you remember Yeojin? The girl I told you about, my crush?" Taehyun said, he felt his cheeks heat up slightly but for some reason, his heart didn't go as crazy as it did before when he told someone about his adventures with Yeojin.

"But I don't get it, why do you need to know what I did a couple of days ago? Can't you answer my question?" Taehyun asked, he was getting impatient now and all he wanted was for his question to be answered.

"Taehyun," Yeonjun sighed disappointedly. "You really don't realize anything, do you?" The male said as his tone was full of annoyance and disappointment after what Taehyun had just said. Sometimes, he couldn't believe Taehyun had gotten into Ito University, the male seemed way too stupid and an airhead to even get accepted into it.

"You went on a date with Yeojin," Yeonjun repeated, receiving a nod from Taehyun. "Beomgyu is ignoring you ever since the day you went out with her." He said which made Taehyun nod. He waited for a few minutes to see if Taehyun realized anything but it was like the male's mind was empty, hollowed out, with no brain cells intact.

Groaning loudly he grabbed the male's wrist and pulled him closer to the point Taehyun's abdomen was against the table. "At this point, i'm going to be straightforward with you because god you're an idiot!"

"Hyung what are you talking about?"

"The love spell, Taehyun! Beomgyu's in love with you!" Yeonjun hissed making sure his point gets through the younger head. "You went on a date with Yeojin, and Beomgyu is in love with you- and you told him you went on a date!"

"Taehyun! Beomgyu is jealous that you went on a date with her!"

Taehyun blinked for a few seconds before all the instant realizations came crashing down on him, slowly getting his wrists out of Yeonjun's grip he gasped out softly now realizing everything. How was he so dumb and airheaded, he should've known after what the elder said earlier.

"So let me get this straight, hyung is ignoring me because he- he's jealous of Yeojin?!" Taehyun said in disbelief, this whole time he thought he did something wrong and he made Beomgyu upset but now that he was slapped with reality it was just the elder being jealous and for some reason...It made him angry.

"It's been a while since Beomgyu had been this jealous, the last time I saw him jealous was with his ex from high school," Yeonjun explained and tipped his cup upside down noticing that it was now empty, pouting slightly he looked up at Taehyun. "He won't ignore you forever, he's just being a big baby. If you're bothered by this then go talk to him, just because he won't answer doesn't mean he won't listen."

Taehyun pursed his lips and nodded slightly, he just had a sudden urge to do what Yeonjun said. He was tired of the elder ignoring him and he wouldn't admit it out loud but things were starting to feel lonely without Beomgyu by his side, even though he was happy for a few hours his feelings twisted into emotions he didn't want to feel — but now he just felt anger, sadness, and disappointment every time Beomgyu would ignore him.

Just talk to him, it's not that hard...I hope.

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Taehyun took a deep sigh as he paced back and forth in front of the apartment door. He had just arrived home not so long ago and with the help of Yeonjun (who willingly wanted to help the male with Beomgyu!) he had a small plastic bag that had strawberries in it, which was Beomgyu's favorite treat.

Just behind the door was his hyung. He couldn't believe that he was about to apologize and try to talk to the male but there was this urge — a pull that made him want to go back to Beomgyu and apologize. He knew he should've been worrying about his status with Yeojin but right now those feelings of wanting to reconcile with him, it wasn't his fault though. Beomgyu should've known that he was in love with someone else, he understood being jealous was a natural emotion to feel but the way the elder handled it made him way too annoyed.

Why am I doing this...This is an opportunity to now forget Beomgyu, I don't have to change anything and I can live happily with Yeojin. Taehyun thought furrowing his eyebrows, his eyes staring at the keypad, with just six numbers the door would open and he would be met face-to-face with the elder. But I can't stop this feeling like...Like shit, goddamnit Taehyun! Why can't you recognize that feeling?

Shaking his head he slowly typed in the pin code, each time his finger pressed a number it was like he was slowly sinking into an abyss of fear. Hearing the door unlock he opened it and was met with the familiar smell of that vanilla-scented candle and the warm air flowing around the apartment.

Taking his shoes off he looked over to the couch and saw the redhead sitting there with his back facing the door, looking down slightly which probably meant he was reading a book. Slowly approaching the living room he walked around the couch towards the little area near where Beomgyu was sitting, gently placing the plastic bag down he sat down on the couch and brought his knees up to his chest staring at the blank TV in front of him.

Mission successful, now jump off of the balcony- Taehyun quickly shook his head, he couldn't back out now, not when he was already near the elder. Taking a few minutes to prepare himself he thought about what Yeonjun had told him earlier, how Beomgyu would still listen even though he would ignore him.

"Hyung," Taehyun breathed out, glancing to the side. He saw how Beomgyu tensed up slightly and how his hand gripped the book a little tighter. "When will you stop ignoring me?" Silence.

Taehyun sighed and looked over at Beomgyu who paid no attention to the male. "I know you're jealous, hyung." He said and waited for a reaction from Beomgyu. He saw how a slight red color formed on Beomgyu's ears making his lips go into a thin line from the lack of communication.

"Can't you just talk to me?! Quit being so fucking petty!" Taehyun said raising his voice slightly, he stood up and snatched the book from Beomgyu's grip. He stared down at the elder with heavy breaths as Beomgyu slowly looked up at him with a blank expression.

"Hyung, I've had enough of you ignoring me! It's so annoying. Grow some balls and talk to m—"

"Don't talk to me like that."

Taehyun's eyes widened as he immediately went silent. All of his confidence shattered in an instant when the elder spoke to him in that cold harsh tone again, he could see Beomgyu looking up at him with dark hooded eyes, as if he was trying to hold back his anger.

"Wow," Taehyun scoffed. "How about you apologize to me...You've been ignoring all my attempts to talk to you, god hyung what are you so jealous about?! What's making you so jealous that you have to ignore me!"

"Because I fucking love you Taehyun!" Beomgyu yelled and stood up making the younger back up slightly. Beomgyu had never raised his voice at him so after hearing that it made his stomach drop. "Of course, I'm going to be angry Taehyun. I love you with my whole fucking heart that I could leave and drop my company for you- I love you so much that I want to spend every single hour with you. Ignoring you was such a fucking hassle because my heart broke seeing that saddened expression on your face but I remember you going out with- with your crush?! I don't care if you like someone else Taehyun, you know I love you."

Taehyun stood there speechless after hearing what Beomgyu had just said, he furrowed his eyebrows trying to comprehend everything before looking back up. "Hyung, I've told you so many times I was in love with another person. I told you that we should remain just friends." He hissed out his words to make himself clear.

"I know you've told me, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving you Taehyun," Beomgyu spoke, his tone now dropping lower and lower until it was almost a whisper. Taehyun stood there and stared at the elder in disbelief, he just wanted Beomgyu to know that there was no chance of loving him back. He...only loved...yeojin?

Shaking that thought away he backed up sighing, "You're so selfish, hyung. You know I love someone else. Yet you can fucking comprehend that!" He said holding his head as he spilled his emotions out to the elder, all the pent-up anger and sadness now spilling out as he ranted to Beomgyu.

"Selfish? Me?! You were the one going on a date and you knew I love you Taehyun. Did you ever think about how I felt? Goddamnit Taehyun I can't just stop loving you- It's impossible!" Beomgyu said. The elder's face was turning slightly red and Taehyun could see the visible neck veins popping out.

"It's not impossible, hyung. You're just—"

"IT'S BECAUSE I'M FALLING FOR YOU HARDER EVERY DAY, TAEHYUN!" Beomgyu shouted and grabbed the male's shoulders pulling him close so their faces were almost a few inches apart. Taehyun's widened scared eyes stared into Beomgyu's maniac-looking pink ones. "Seeing...Hearing...Almost anything that involves you and someone who isn't me breaks my heart Taehyun! I love you so much, it hurts my heart." He said weakly.

Taehyun's throat went dry as he panicked internally from the small space they had, quickly thinking of something he brought his hand up which glowed a faint gold as he blew golden mist into Beomgyu's face.

In an instant, the elder's eyes slowly shut closed as he collapsed forward making Taehyun stumble back a little before regaining the strength to hold onto Beomgyu tightly. Gently placing the elder back onto the couch he looked around and grabbed a blanket before placing it over the elder.

He didn't mean to cast a sleeping spell on Beomgyu, he just panicked.

Backing up slightly he stared at the elder who looked at peace while asleep. Taehyun couldn't help but have that weird feeling bubble up in his stomach, it was so uncomfortable. It was like he just wanted to puke it all out but he knew there would just be spit and air if he tried.

His heart felt uneasy, his mind wasn't at ease, his whole body was tensed, and he wasn't doing well at all. This whole time Beomgyu was angry at him just for going on a date with Yeojin, and the elder had to admit instead of falling out of love with Taehyun he was falling even deeper even while he was still away.

A part of him was so happy that Beomgyu wasn't mad at him for anything else but he still felt disappointed. Disappointed in Beomgyu and himself.

Shaking his head he walked to his room quickly, grabbing his backpack he shoved in a few pairs of clothes just for a day as he stuffed the spell book inside of it. He felt too suffocated being in the apartment with Beomgyu— Being anywhere near Beomgyu. He needed a small break and a breather to clear his mind before he could make the next move.

Biting his bottom lip he doesn't know why he suddenly blew up at Beomgyu, he knew the elder was ignoring him because of jealousy but that just sparked something inside of him to end it there and now. Walking out of his room with his backpack he looked over at Beomgyu as his heart clenched slightly.

He sighed and walked over to the fireplace and quickly turned it on as he closed the curtain. Even though he turned the fireplace on he made sure to leave at least a few lights on before he put his shoes on and left the apartment.

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"Taehyun? It's nearly nighttime. How did you get here?" Yuri asked opening the door to see her sorrow-looking brother behind it, looking like he was about to burst out in tears at any given moment.

Taehyun sighed softly and stepped into the house heading over to the couch, throwing his backpack down he flopped on the couch as his sister hesitantly sat next to him. "Beomgyu and I got into a fight." He said muffled as his whole cheek was squished against the couch.

"Ohhh...Lovers quarrel. Yikes," Yuri hissed. Taehyun scoffed and rolled his eyes sitting up. "Beomgyu hyung and I aren't a couple!" He said.

Yuri rolled her eyes and mocked the male. "Okay but tell me, why did you two fight? Beomgyu doesn't seem like the type of person to get angry at someone for no reason."

"There is a reason," Taehyun sighed and blankly stared at the ground. "Hyung was super jealous I went out with Yeojin...Like on a date...So he started ignoring me! I don't know why but it annoyed me so much noona- to the point where I wanted to snap his pretty little neck in half!" Taehyun said and extended his hands out doing a choking motion as he spoke.

"So I confronted him today and it turns out hyung is still falling madly in love with me! I just wanted him to stop ignoring me and this is what I get!" He complained like a child and rambled on and on and on about how Beomgyu yelled at him and ignored him.

"Taehyun," Yuri spoke softly gaining the attention of her brother. The male looked up at her with a confused expression from the sudden interruption. "Do you think...You're getting too comfortable with Beomgyu now?" Yuri asked.

Taehyun scoffed loudly and stood up shaking his head, "I'm not getting attached. Now I'm going to go to bed I'm exhausted," He said and looked at the clock, he was so shocked to see it was nearly midnight.

Yuri sighed and nodded shooing the male off, frowning to herself she stared at her brother with doubtful eyes. You've loved her for so long you can't even recognize your own feelings anymore. She thought before shaking her head and stared back at the TV

The male ignored Yuri's loud ass TV and went upstairs where he walked over to his old room which was now empty but still had the bed with sheets and a blanket, most likely to be a guest room soon. Placing his stuff down he flopped down on his bed.

Maybe ten or so minutes passed of an attempt to sleep. The sudden feeling of his wrist tingling made him lift his wrist looking at it. Fifteen more days...

The sight of the hearts made him frown as it felt like his heart thumped painfully against his rib cage. Bringing his wrist down he stared up at the ceiling, even though this room isn't as good as his room in Beomgyu's apartment it still made him decently comfortable.

Yet being in the room, felt so cold. He felt cold as if something was missing...

or someone.

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