He froze mid-way down her chest, trying to process what he had just heard.

He raised his head to look at her. Her eyes were wide, just as his probably were. Apparently she was just as surprised to hear those words come out of her mouth as he was.

But that didn't matter.

She loves me.

She couldn't...could she? Obviously she felt something otherwise she wouldn't have been reciprocating to his amorous ministrations so zealously, but love? He'd dared not hope.

Now what?

The implications of their current position slowly dawned on him. They were on a couch, half-clothed. He was lying on top of her. One hand was up her shorts, the other was apparently in the middle of trying to undo her bra. His head was over her chest. Her hands were stretched above her head. Had he put them there? He couldn't remember.

They'd been making out – heavily, almost ferociously. And they'd been about to do a hell of a lot more than that.

He abruptly removed himself from her person and sat at the end of the couch. He had to think this through logically and he couldn't do that whilst lying upon a half-naked Tenten.

So...he loved her and she loved him. That certainly explained why they'd been doing what they'd been doing.

But...she loved him?

He looked at her. She was sitting with her knees drawn to her chest, looking confused and thoroughly kissed.

"You love me?" His voice was hoarse from passion. She didn't seem to notice.

She shut her eyes and rested her forehead against her knees, nodding against them – confirmation. Sweet, liberating, crushing confirmation.

She loved him.

She loved him.

The lightest feeling Neji had ever experienced settled in his chest. His heart started racing and his thoughts started muddling together. He hadn't thought it possible, but she did and...

"How long?" he asked, trying to keep the excitement from his voice.

Tenten raised her head from her knees but did not look at him. "About a week or so before the mission."

Neji gaped. He'd never gaped in his entire life - it was unseemly and ill bred. But he gaped then.

Since before the mission? That meant all that time, that kiss, those months...she'd loved him through it all. He couldn't fathom it.

So then...now what?
————————————————————
She wanted to die. She'd thought she'd wanted to die a few times those past few months, but this time she actually did. Like, really.

She'd told Neji she loved him in the middle of an intense make out session that she didn't even understand and now he was looking at her as though she had two heads, or as though she'd told him she loved him. Which she had.

Where is some poison when you need it?

She had a knife in her shoe. That'd work. No wait, her shoes were at the front door. Roadblock.

She chanced a look at Neji. He seemed to be thinking. It seemed strange that he was thinking. She'd seen him thinking too many times to count – it was like his default state – but it didn't suit him now. His hair was mussed, he was shirtless, and he sported faint scratches – dear gods above, her scratches – that marred the pale skin of his back. All signs pointed to a full on make out session. Normal people didn't usually have intense thinking sessions after making out...did they?

But then again, normal people didn't blurt out that they love people in the middle of making out. Only idiots did that.

Well, if he was going to think she was going to think too. She had a lot to think about after all. Things like how she was going to manage to avoid Neji for the rest of her life without avoiding the rest of Team Gai. Things like whether it'd be better to slice the wrists or throat. Things like why they'd been making out in the first place.

She knew why she had been kissing him. She was in love with him, as she had just so kindly shared. But why had he been kissing her? He'd started it as well. This time there was no mission, no need for escape. He'd just kissed her. For nothing.

Or maybe not for nothing, but if for nothing then for what?

She cleared her throat nervously. Neji looked at her.

"Um..." It came out as a croak so she cleared her throat again. "Um...why...uh...why did you kiss me?"

Now there was an awkward question.

Neji simply looked at her for a few excruciating seconds. She didn't understand why he couldn't answer her, unless he didn't know himself...

"Why do you think?" he finally replied.

Not quite the answer she'd been hoping for.

"I don't know what to think," she replied honestly.

Neji raised an arrogant brow. "Use your head."

Why couldn't he just tell her? "I can't. It's too...muddled."

Neji sighed in exasperation. "Because I love you, obviously."

Pause.

"What?"

"I do not repeat myself."

Tenten shook her head. "Yes, but...did you just say you love me?"

"Did you not hear me correctly?"

"But wait...you love me?"

Neji sighed again. "Is that so very hard to believe?"

"Yes, actually!" Tenten spluttered.

Neji raised his brow again. "You said you loved me and I believed you, so is it too much to ask for you to do likewise?"

If she wasn't already sitting down she definitely would have needed to sit down. Stuff the knife, this was...this was...

What?

"Since when?" she found herself asking.

"The mission, just before you seduced Tyran, frustratingly enough."

She noticed the way he jaw clenched after he said 'seduced Tyran.' She noticed it and knew what it meant – that he wasn't happy about it. He wasn't happy about the idea of her seducing anyone else because he was jealous. He was jealous because he didn't want anyone else to have her, didn't want her to want anyone else. He didn't want these things because he had feelings for her - because he loved her.

"So...so we love each other, right?" Her voice still held that incredulous edge. She suspected it would for a long time.

"Apparently."

"So...now what?"

"What do you mean now what?"

Tenten furrowed her brows in confusion. "I mean what do we do now?"

Neji seemed to ponder this for a few moments. "Well, I know what you're going to do."

Tenten swallowed nervously. "Yes?"

Neji looked her straight in the eye, his gaze hard and unrelenting. He was deadly serious now, a state she was accustomed too but now an inexplicable sense of foreboding accompanied it. "You are going to put your shirt on, walk out that door, and go back to your apartment. Then you will speak of this to no one and pretend it never happened."

Was it possible for a heart to break? Yes. Yes it was.

"I don't understand..."

Her head started to pound and her eyes start to burn and her chest started to tighten and her lungs felt like they were going to collapse and her limbs felt like lead and her tongue felt like rubber and her heart felt like it wasn't there anymore.

"Tenten..." Neji began, but his throat closed up.

"How can you...?" Tenten whispered, but her throat closed too.

Neji rubbed his hands over his eyes and propped his elbows on his knees. "I don't want to. Believe me, I'd love nothing more than to be with you." He looked up at her, his eyes haunted. "You have no idea how much torture this past month has been, how much it killed me to be away from you. I just want to see you, hear you," He reached out and traced her cheek with his fingertips. "Touch you."

Tenten took his hand before it could retreat and held it against her face. "Then touch me."

Neji swallowed deeply and shut his eyes. For a brief, wonderful second Tenten thought he might have given in, but then he withdrew his hand from her grasp and took her breath with him.

"I can't. Were we but in any other world."

And then realization dawned on her.

The clan. This was all about the clan. Of course. It didn't matter to him whether or not they were in love. She was not suitable for the clan and therefore he could not be in a relationship with her.

"What would they do?" she whispered.

Neji looked at her quizzically.

"What would the clan do to you if you disobeyed them to be with me?" she clarified.

Neji looked away. "They don't like to be disobeyed and as well as that, I made an oath years ago to serve the clan however they needed me. Apparently they need me to marry within the clan. If I refused, they'd probably disown me."

Tenten caught her breath. Disown him? She could not imagine Neji without the clan. The clan was part of his life. It was his life. It was what he lived for. He was a Hyuga. He couldn't be anything else. He wouldn't know how.

If he left them for her, she'd be his only family. Compared to the Hyugas, she'd never be enough. While she would love him continuously throughout anything they may encounter, she didn't know whether he could love her if he were nameless.

She understood, but it still felt like she was slowly ripping apart from the inside.

"Okay."

She wanted to be with him no matter what, but of the two of them he had much more to lose. She had nothing to lose; he had everything. Why would he give that up for her? Why should he? She wouldn't give that up for her.

"Okay."

Without another word she stood up, grabbed her top from the floor, and put it on as slowly as possible. This was the last time she'd ever be this close to him. She knew it. She didn't want to leave.
———————————————————
He didn't want her to leave. As soon as she left this room, that was it. He'd never be this close to her again. He knew it.

How he wanted to hold her and tell her he'd give anything and everything to be with her, his very being, was it but his to give away. However, he'd made a promise long ago, one he had to keep. He was nothing if not a man of his word, could be nothing for her. This had to be done.

He watched as she slowly clothed herself. He memorized every inch of flesh. Suddenly he was standing and walking towards her and taking her hand. He brushed his fingers over her cheek, across her lips, memorizing every detail, the way it felt, the softness of her skin. She closed her eyes then opened them before raising her hands to his neck, pulling his head down and kissing him.

His hands dug themselves into her hair and he held on for dear life. This was it. This was the last time.

All too soon they needed air and they broke apart and before he could kiss her again she ran from his embrace, out the door and out of his life.

And it was all of his own choosing. His fault. His mind was completely blank yet soaked in colors of the rainbow.

He knew only wrong.

Hey guys, Author here, So I have a lot fo apologizing to do, I'm sorry you guys! Its just I recently started college and everything has been so PACKED and horrible and I low key kinda wanna DIE but its cool you know 👏🏼 anyways ill try to post often but college and life is really taking a toll on me so I hope most of you are understanding and forgive me :) I promise ill TRY! Fair enough? Im hoping you'll say yes 😭 Till then you guys!