With a book so long, it would be a crime not to say something!

    Notes & Thoughts:

✏️ Firstly, this book was from Allah. Ultimately, I couldn't complete it without Him, especially when I look at the unintentional foreshadowing and accidental parallels between my characters and our religion, which I love. Yusuf's inner and outer beauty, his grace with his family and his cleverness are similar to our Prophet Yusuf's (AS) own. Asiya's strength, faith, and resilience are just like our own Asiya (as), who was shown her place in paradise because of it. 🥹.

Even minor things, like the title of this book, when simplified, are the first letter of my character's name. 🥹. A&Y. That wasn't on purpose! I only noticed this was the case later. About thirty chapters in, I was like ✨🥲I'm so slow🤣✨ and decided to highlight it in chapter fifty-eight discreetly.

There are so many coincidences I did not plan! Sometimes, it feels like I plucked most of this book out of thin air! But my mum says that sometimes what we take as "coincidences" and "accidents" are Allah's way of being anonymous. ❤️.

✏️ Secondly, there is no such thing as a bad cultural group. A bad race. A bad ethnicity. A bad religion. There are only people who do bad things. Let that be clear. Sometimes, there are poor practices found within groups, but again, those practices are practised and maintained by people. I hope to articulate that clearly in the next version.

✏️ The main things I wanted to touch upon in my book were forgiveness, acceptance of others and a situation, communication, racism & insecurities, specifically within our community. 😮‍💨. Too many damn things. 🤣. No wonder this book feels like a mess to me sometimes.

I wanted Allah to remain present in A&Y's journey and wanted to highlight some growing pains. These "normal things" can sometimes feel so scary to Muslimahs, Muslims, black women, black people, etc, primarily because of the lack of conversation around them.

I also wanted to shed more of a realistic light on marriage but ironically chose the most unrealistic, romanticised, made-up way to do it. 🙄.

Honestly, I don't feel like I've done what I wanted to achieve. I'm hoping I hit my mark in the next draft. This book only has wisps of what I wanted it to have. Maybe you feel differently?

What's Next?

This question scares me so much. Although only one person has asked me this, I've asked myself this many times.

⏭️ Re A&Y: A rewrite. Primarily of the first half of the book. It is a blessing to feel as though you need to edit or want to go back and change something because it means you've grown and improved. ➡️ That is what the mature side of me is saying. 🤓.

The immature side says: GORL. PUH-LEASE. 😐. I should've never uploaded this book in the state I uploaded it in initially. 😭. I literally uploaded it on a whim. Within one hour, I had decided on a title with my friend, made a cover and clicked publish. 💀.

The early chapters were like the first, first, minus, the negative draft. It was literally a skeleton. I should've kept it buried. 😅. However, not doing so has taught me a lot and built confidence in my words.

I've estimated I want/have to rewrite around thirty-ish chapters (most likely the minimum). As of today, I've only rewritten sixteen 🫠. InshAllah, the book will end up being significantly shorter (I'm going to lose many of the lovely comments you guys left 💔I've screenshotted them), but a lot of the chapters will be longer.

⏭️ Re A&Y 2: Asiya and Yusuf will probably (I'm 90% certain) not get a sequel or an epilogue. I settled everything I wanted to settle with them in this book.

I also feel like I exhausted them (especially poor Asiya 🥊😭) and their story. Something tragic...🙂would have to happen...😉to one of them🤔 for me to write another book,😗 focused on them...🤓

⏭️ Other Works?: Yes!

I planned this book to be the first of a series but for each story to follow a different character. I'm not sure if I'll be sticking to that. Are there any characters you'd like a focus on? Or do you want a new bunch?

I have two pieces of unfinished work, with one main character from A&Y's world.

I'm so in love with one of my (unfinished) drafts. I can't wait to sort it out and upload it onto Wattpad. I've given myself a deadline (because I procrastinate way too much with writing) for this.

I need to decide on a title, but InshAllah, after Ramadan, by Summer, I'll start uploading it. The book's main theme is Romance. 😅. We need more stories featuring black love where the women are treated like the Queens they are. No, please, but many thank yous 🤭.

I want a good chunk of the story fleshed out, i.e. DONE, because I don't want to repeat what I did with A&Y. I don't want to mock you all about and promise something I can't. I don't want you waiting ages for chapters. I don't want people bouncing between chapters because of my constant editing.

A part of me fears that not uploading anything right after A&Y will make me lose what I have. 😭. The community I have with you all. 😭. The relationships I've formed through this book. Validation and engagement in the form of votes, follows and comments.

But I can't put something out that I don't think is ready or complete.

I have spontaneous bits and pieces of writing in my notebooks. I also have this recurring mind movie trapped in my head. It's not a romance; it's so different from what I usually write and complicated that I haven't been able to flesh it out onto paper justly.

🫶🏾 Thank You!🫶🏾

There were times I didn't want to finish this book. Sometimes, I read my chapters and physically gag, and my disgust over them gets so bad that I have to stop reading them 😭. Sometimes, my insecurities and imposter syndrome got so bad that by the time I was uploading a chapter, I hated it, and it took everything in me not immediately to take it down.

But your comments, votes, messages, replies, the little things you all did to show me that you were interested, the book wasn't as bad as I thought, and you were enjoying it really really helped me break down my insecurities, and they hold back my self-destructive reflexes so thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all so much because you didn't need to do that!

To all of you who took the time to vote, tell me your thoughts or say you were looking forward to my chapters. Genuinely, I would not have continued this if I hadn't had notifications of your support.

I'm a soppy cow and tried to document everything, but I am human. There may be people I have forgotten to mention, but please know that I did see you, literally all of you, and I appreciate you more than I ever can say.

My earliest voters: ⭐️cool_hijabi ⭐️melo2606 ⭐️Aminamuhammad047 ⭐️ lia12m ⭐️_Lynn_008 ⭐️FotumaUmar ⭐️haniee123 ⭐️in_digo7 ⭐️iamfadeelah ⭐️Khadijah_Bunza ⭐️Inquisitive_writer ⭐️Manurullah ⭐️AuthorAladdin

I'm sending kisses to all of you. Honestly, I anticipated seeing your names every single time I posted. Seeing you all coming back to read my book made me so happy! Thank you for sticking with it and me.

My earliest commenters: 💬 blackpaperink 💬bipolarhijabi09 💬HersherrVoid 💬 Nalathebooklover 💬 Queenz3e 💬 nooonaaaah 💬 zaharatulmaria 💬fadulovesbooks 💬Poopsicle 💬Scibbledrawer

I cannot describe the happiness I felt when I read your comments. Each one made me so excited, and your kindness filled my heart. Some of you made me howl at times.

✨grilloaisha, ✨Spencerreids4thwife, ✨Mishelleciny, ✨layaan01, ✨simplySafs, ✨ ammilolo_ , ✨ Aisha_yayaji, ✨ BubbleTea__04, ✨ FaozeeyatOyewumi, ✨ Lauki514, ✨ UnbalancedMom333, ✨ , ✨beautyy001, ✨Wawardinnngggg, ✨Atikah054, ✨ kouse19,  ✨_aaisyr all of you who left and sent me heartwarming comments, messages and helped me in so many ways.

💘 To: lolarosegirl, GollGappay, Sakbah, Adofatima, Struggling_Mi, Gobilllslayyy, mabajin10, Samiypatel, Labeebah18, CouraT5, Chhibachaima17gmailc, Hadizaladanchado, trynafindmeedah, cactiblossoms, Ree_1306, MahmudahAlaran, floriaflowers_ WiseOwl1313, AmazingAmazon90. Thank you so so so much for your little actions that had large effects on me.

My writing buds, many of whom now (scarily? 👀 nah joking. 🤣) exist in my offline life and my online one—the people who gave me feedback and helped me so much with the story's development. I'm forever grateful to you.

InshAllah, I'll see you on the next one.

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