"Has she gone?" Olivia whispered to Asiya.

Asiya crept her head closer to the narrow window in the brown oak door. There was no sign of Mrs Wilson in the corridor.

Asiya turned back to Olivia and gave her a thumbs up. "She could be in one of the side corridors, though," Asiya quietly warned.

"Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take," Olivia said as she patted her stomach.

Even though Olivia was on her last leg with her sixth form tutor, she had suggested to Asiya that they skip their study free and get an outside lunch. Asiya, in desperate need of a break, had agreed.

Asiya pressed her finger to her lips before she started mouthing a countdown. 

One. Two. Asiya placed her hand around the handle. Three.

Asiya pulled the door open and moved quickly, nearly knocking Adam down.

Adam jumped backwards, his eyes wide and alarmed, before his face relaxed into a sloppy grin. "How many more hoodies are you going to ruin, Asiya?"

"Excuse me?" Asiya's tone was flat and uninterested.

Asiya had known Adam long enough to know he was a joker. He loved winding people up like a jack-in-box and revelled when they popped. 

His teasing had been funny distractions when they were twelve, but at seventeen, the comic element had expired.

Most of Adam's jokes were dead and couldn't revive anything more than pitiful smiles from people.

"I'm not a gossip," Adam smirked.

Asiya felt her body begin to heat.

Are people talking about me?

Her insides liquefied at the thought. She could feel herself wanting to melt into the floor and turn into something wet and soluble that didn't take up space or have any shape for words to hit and effect.

"Neither is my friend," Adam continued. "Nothing was said really–"

"Then you shouldn't have anything to say," Olivia snapped beside Asiya. "Just shut up and move."

"Fine, but if I did shut up, I wouldn't be able to tell you that Mrs Wilson is at the bottom of the corridor waiting for you," Adam said smugly.

"Us?" Olivia and Asiya said simultaneously.

"Well, not you guys specifically," Adam clarified. "Just people like you. People like us. People who want to spend their study free frolicking in the sunshine, breathing in fresh air, living out what is meant to be the best years of our lives!"

"Get on with it, Shakespeare," Olivia said impatiently.

"I've been given a prison sentence." Adam slapped a green A5-sized detention slip against the air in front of them.

"But if you give me permission, Miss Olivia," Adam winked, "I can tell you the best route out of this school so you avoid yours."

-

Asiya and Olivia skipped into the restaurant with linked hands.

Lunchtime on a Thursday afternoon meant the restaurant was practically empty, but the atmosphere was full of the damp smell of sticky rice and heat from Wok's frying takeaway orders.

"Table for two?" a waitress who looked like she should also be in school asked Asiya and Olivia.

"Three, please," Olivia corrected.

Asiya and Olivia followed the waitress to a small booth.

The restaurants décor was uninviting. 

Dying plants were potted in free corners. Random pieces of art were hung in mismatched frames. The post-stick note wall where people could draw and stick their creations, which was once a source of engagement and vibrance, now appeared messy and cheap because of the post-stick's dirty, curling edges.

The foam exhaled under Asiya's weight as she sat in the booth. 

Small oil stains were splashed across the table, but the food Asiya was about to eat made the restaurant's appearance forgivable.

"What do you think Adam meant by his first comment? The one he made when he nearly bumped into me?" Asiya asked Olivia.

"Ugh. Who cares? It's Adam. He's always got something, yet nothing to say," Olivia replied. "The tip about Mrs Wilson was the best thing he's said in a while."

Asiya hummed.

"Asiya. Get out of your head," Olivia ordered. "Don't let Adam into it. It's Adam. He was just being stupid, as usual. We're here to unwind, have a good meal, relax and chat! Okay?"

"Okay," Asiya agreed. A good meal was guaranteed. Hotspot lived up to its name.

"Thanks for the heads up," Sarah chirped as she slid into the booth opposite Asiya.

"Thank Adam," Olivia said.

"Thank God for Hotspot," Asiya grinned.

"Not during happy hour, though," Sarah said as she flicked a menu. "This really isn't the best place to go if we're meant to be conscious of what we eat."

"It's about balance, Sarah," Olivia chirped.

"What about that pact we made before Summer?" Sarah questioned.

"P-pact?" Asiya stuttered.

Like their friendship, Asiya assumed Sarah had forgotten their plan to support each other to eat healthily.

With the stress from her upcoming exams, Asiya had happily forgotten about it, too. Worrying about what she was eating was another stress Asiya didn't need.

"Sarah, one meal off track won't hurt," Olivia said.

Sarah's eyes slowly locked with Asiya's like a predator's did before it lunged at its prey. "I know it won't hurt me."

Sarah looked at Asiya briefly before turning to Olivia.

Her statement could be about herself. Shake it off, Asiya.

She said me.

She might not even be talking about you!

But Sarah had stared at Asiya long enough to cocoon Asiya's belief that she was referring to her.

"Well, I wanted to eat here, and no one in this booth needs to worry about a bowl of katsu curry," Olivia tutted.

Asiya dislodged the discomfort and insincerity from her throat before speaking. "Yeah, but thanks for looking out for us, Sarah."

The waitress cut through the building tension and asked if they were ready to order.

Suddenly, feeling too familiar with the menu, Asiya pretended she wasn't ready and copied Sarah by ordering only a drink.

"Back to our rounds of thanks. Do you know what else we have to thank Adam for? Information on Yusuf!" Sarah grinned.

"That deserves a cheers," Olivia said as she held her glass.

Sarah clinked the top of her glass with Olivia's while Asiya gripped the diet can in her hand. Mocktails were full of sugar, and she would've preferred to get her energy from her meal.

Olivia used her hand to fan herself theatrically. "I saw him yesterday when I walked Asiya to history. Jaw-dropping, gorgeous." She clicked her tongue in approval. "I actually wished I hadn't swapped history for geography last year."

"No, you don't," Asiya chuckled.

"Yeah. All those dates, analysis, and essays? You're right, actually," Olivia pursed her lips before they broke into a smile.

Sarah clicked her fingers in between Olivia and Asiya. "Ladies, can we have some focus, please."

Both girls turned to Sarah expectantly.

Truthfully, Asiya was growing tired of most of the conversations in the year being about Yusuf and the butterflies she got whenever she overheard one.

Every time Yusuf's name was mentioned, goosebumps prickled Asiya's skin, and silly teenage crush fantasies would chaotically flash in her mind before crashing into the memory of her humiliation.

The train of emotions that ran through Asiya whenever Yusuf was mentioned meant he didn't seem to be an appropriate topic of conversation, especially when he was discussed for ages.

But Yusuf was a shiny, new, and late addition to their sixth form. His fame was to be expected.

Asiya was also happy with the way Sarah was currently looking at them. At her.

Her bright eyes glowed with an energy that taunted Asiya, hooking her in. Sarah dangled the opportunity to have a fun, carefree, girly chat like it was a carrot, teasing Asiya, willing her bite, and after it being so long since they'd chatted normally, of course Asiya would.

Asiya placed her elbows on the table and leaned her head against her hands. "So, what's so great about Yusuf that we have to focus on him?"

"Oh, I don't know," Sarah drawled. "Other than the fact that he's tall, fit, smart and on deen?"

"Your gaze has definitely not been lowered," Asiya snickered.

"Do you blame me?" Sarah drawled.

"Hmm," Asiya hummed playfully.

"Oh, come on Asiya. Don't pretend," Olivia grinned.

"Alright. He's not the worst guy to see in school," Asiya giggled.

"Ain't that the truth," Olivia said as she lightly smacked the table.

Sarah sucked in her cheeks, emphasising her cheekbones, before she separated her lips with a loud pop and revealed a smile.

"My brother and Adam play football with some guys from the masjid. Yusuf is friends with Adam, so now Yusuf plays football on Saturday with some guys from the masjid. I just go along to take in the view. Can't help that Yusuf's in it," Sarah shrugged before she and Olivia cackled.

"Adam is friends with Yusuf?" Asiya questioned quietly.

"Well, Yusuf sits with Adam at lunch, they play football together, and Adam knows quite a bit about him," Sarah replied.

"Yusuf's quiet, though. I haven't really seen him hang out with anyone except at lunch. He just seems to float around, and Adam chats out of his ass half of the time," Olivia noted.

Her friends' chatter faded as Asiya's brain processed the new information she had received.

Adam is friends with Yusuf.

Adam asked me how many hoodies I planned to stain when I almost bumped into him today.

Without the context of Adam's relationships, his statement had been of no significance, but with context, a bigger picture was building in Asiya's mind. 

Adam's sentence was joining with others, creating landscapes from paragraphs, castles from statements and building bridges out of gossip.

Asiya closed her eyes and reconstructed the scene of that morning in her mind. 

She painted the school walls, outlined the bodies of the students and teachers moving through the corridors and up the staircase, slotted herself and Yusuf into the mental scene and filled them with colour before pressing play on her mind movie.

She mentally re-watched the scene, ignoring the emotions it could invoke. 

She paused the movie when she could see Yusuf's face clearly. When she had taken a long look.

Asiya scanned Yusuf's skin for any stains of her skin tone before she analysed his clothing.

She couldn't remember anything being there. She hadn't noticed anything that didn't belong to Yusuf on him. But she had been looking at his front and fallen on his back.

Oh no, no, no.

Asiya began to pick at an oil stain on the table. She rubbed her fingertips against it, over and over, wishing it would absorb her whole and send her interactions with Yusuf into the forgotten corners of oblivion.

How much of my makeup rubbed onto his hoodie?

Unfortunately, back in the real world, she could hear her friends again, who were prattling about Yusuf.

Adam said Yusuf said this. Adam says Yusuf likes this. Yusuf said this. Adam says Yusuf likes this. Yusuf does this. Adam says Yusuf. Yusuf said! Yusuf said! Yusuf says! Yusuf says!

Asiya didn't want to think about Yusuf anymore, and talking about him transformed her thoughts into feelings, making them three dimensional, and real. His name caused Asiya's stomach to spin into tornados of nausea.

"Are you sure you don't have a crush on Adam, Sarah?" Asiya lightly teased, hoping to change the conversation. "You sure seem to have spoken to him a lot."

"Ew. No way he is a player!" Sarah replied.

"Yeah! It sucks that men don't get slut shamed the way we women do," Olivia added.

"He's also a proper mummy's boy," Sarah said with a scrunch of her nose.

"Most boys are mummy's boys," Asiya noted.

"It is a common trait they share alongside their one brain cell," Olivia quipped.

"Maybe, but not Yusuf; he's independent," Sarah said confidently.

Asiya's eyes twitched as she tried not to roll them.

From the little Asiya caught from Olivia and Sarah's conversation, Sarah knew nothing more about Yusuf than she did.

Everything Sarah had said about Yusuf wasn't based on facts. Yusuf had never spoken to her. Barely anything Adam said was ever serious or trustworthy. Sarah's statements about Yusuf were weak assumptions.

"Speaking of parents, how are yours, Liv?" Asiya asked.

Olivia tipped her head back and a groan scratched out of her throat. "I thought being a child of divorce would be great! More pocket money, two rooms, two birthdays, double presents on that and on Christmas, but it's horrible."

"Divorce has shown me that my parents aren't adults. They're just big babies that had a baby. I left my art folder at my mum's last week, and when I told my dad, he refused to drive me over because he didn't want to see her. I said he could just wait in the car; I'd just run in and get it. He still said no! He said he would pay for me to take a cab there. It was nine pm! I'm not getting into an Uber alone at that time!"

"They still sound better than the so-called adults in my house. My brothers would've refused to help and still stopped me from going by myself," Sarah said. "They're so inconsiderate when arranging mum's care too."

"That's the thing! My parents are so caught up in their fight of who gets what, including how much time they get with me, that they're ignoring me in the process," Olivia explained.

Asiya stretched her hand across the table and patted Olivia's hand.

"Sorry," Olivia sniffed. "It's just so frustrating."

"I get it," Sarah said.

Asiya gave her a small smile.

"What is your obsession with our families, Asiya?" Sarah asked, her eyes narrowing. "Do you just want to show off how perfect yours is?"

"What?" Asiya gasped, startled. "No?"

"Then why are you always asking about them?"

"What the hell is your problem?" Asiya snarled.

Her mouth had been too quick for her mind to shoot the defensive statement down.

"Asiya was only asking me about my parents because she cares," Olivia said.

"Well, I find it weird that she's always asking about my mum, my feelings around my dad, that day, and my brothers. Now you're interrogating and upsetting poor Liv too," Sarah said.

"I'm okay–"

"I only ask you questions about that because I was there," Asiya reminded Sarah as she placed her hands in her lap.

Asiya remembered that Saturday in the mosque. She remembered how they'd been listening to Sarah's father as he spoke. She remembered watching him clutch his chest as though he was trying to cage in his soul, prevent it from escaping before he collapsed to the floor and lost his fight against the Angel of Death.

Asiya had witnessed everything. She had felt the shockwaves of chaos and confusion emanating from people's feet as they rushed across the masjid like militant ants.

His death had been painful, and Asiya had absorbed some of that pain. She had ended up grieving a person she had no emotional attachment to.

She couldn't imagine what it was like for Sarah, who had held one of the biggest emotional attachments towards her dad.

"Like Liv said, I ask because I care," Asiya said. "We're supposed to be friends. Why else would I ask after you?"

When had Sarah started misreading Asiya's intentions? Misinterpreting Asiya's questions? Assuming that every compliment was a disguised attack or delivered with a backhand? When had it become normal for Sarah to be mean to her, and when-why had Asiya accepted that behaviour?

"Well, I think you should stop," Sarah shrugged.

"That's fine." Asiya shrugged too. "I will."

Asiya meant that. Sarah was drawing a new line that Asiya wouldn't cross.

Asiya was receiving Sarah's message loud and clear. 

Sarah wanted something superficial. The title of friendship, but nothing else that came with it, and Asiya was happy to oblige because she hated how Sarah was making her feel.

Sarah started conversations but complained when Asiya joined them. She teased Asiya with information, spoon fed her like she was a child and left banter in a trail of breadcrumbs but complained when Asiya followed them.

Sarah was happy to let Asiya knock on her door and have a view of her home through the window, but she wouldn't let her inside. Sarah played with Asiya's feelings like chess pieces on a board, then flicked them away, dismissing them just as easily.

"Good, because your obsession with my family is disturbing," Sarah said.

"Sarah!" Olivia gasped.

"What? It's true, and it pisses me off."

The waitress walked over with a notepad, ready for their orders. 

Sarah narrated hers first. She listed the starters she and Asiya would usually swap and share, the delicious main they had discovered together and a random dessert.

I'm not ordering anything, Asiya decided inwardly as the waitress questioned Olivia.

Her emotions were bobbing up and down her throat, and she felt like she would be sick if she tried to swallow anything else.

Asiya hated how bad things had gotten between her and Sarah, but she didn't know how and why they had.

Where was her friend?

Sarah's body was here, but it was as though she had been swapped out with a replacement, a clone. Someone who looked and sounded like her but was nothing like her. 

A Sarah who didn't seem to know Asiya or share their memories, because if this Sarah did, surely she wouldn't treat Asiya like this.

"I'm not hungry," Asiya said when the waitress looked at her. 

-

Authors Note: Asalamu Alaykum! I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and getting to know the characters. What do we think? Do you believe in love at first sight? They say our souls are sometimes drawn to others with no explanation...could be because of our qadr.

Anyway please let me know what you think by leaving a comment, voting or sending me a message! Hope to see you again soon 🤍

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Chapter Glossary

Masjid/Mosque: A place where Muslims pray.

Deen: Religion.