Jaz was surprised that sleep had come so easily. Then again, she'd come to a final decision, one that eased her mind. Perhaps that's why she'd had an undisturbed sleep, only waking as the first rays of the sun began to stream through her window.

She lay quietly for several minutes hoping to ready her mind for what was to come, realised there wasn't a damn thing that could truly ready her, gave a great sigh then got out of bed and began preparing for the day.

Showered, dressed and in the kitchen, Jaz had put coffee on and made a start of breakfast before anyone else made a move to get up. Putting up a large platter of pancakes, bacon, eggs and an assortment of fruits along with a warmed jug of maple syrup, soon got feet moving down the stairs.

While Eli didn't live with them, he usually had breakfast with them and today was no different. Emma arrived with Phia in tow, both were invited to breakfast. Jaz watched Phia, while they all ate, giving her a nod when she piled a second stack onto her plate.

Part way through breakfast Jaz spoke up, "Jacob will be here soon. I need some time alone to talk with him. We'll go to my room, so please give us some privacy. You'll find out all my secrets soon enough."

"Why Jacob," asked Phia.

Jaz remained silent for a moment contemplating what to say. "Jacob has been my strength all these years. There were times that if I didn't have him, I think I'd have gone crazy. My brothers won't be happy about his part in all this, but I needed someone and he was the only one I trusted."

The morning went all too quickly, Jaz could feel her nerves getting the better of her. Jacob arrived just after one o'clock, taking Jaz into his arms. He held her for what seemed like several minutes before pulling back and looking into her eyes. Not a single word was spoken, it wasn't needed.

Cade poured a mug of coffee, placing it on the table. "Jacob, mum said you two were going upstairs to talk. I thought you might want a coffee to take with you."

Jacob smiled, "Thank you Cade, I'll take care of you mother for now. They're busy at the main house, but they're likely to show up a little early." He picked up the coffee and followed Jaz up to her room.

Everyone looked at each other when they left, all feeling a little lost, not quite sure what to do with themselves. Emma soon got them moving doing something... anything to keep them busy. No one spoke of what was to come, they were all worried about Jaz, knowing that no matter what she had to say, they'd support her.

Eli sat on the steps on the back porch thinking over the years he'd known her. As far back as he could remember she'd been there. She'd always been a part of his life in some way or another. He thought of what she did, her being a Healer and of how much she did for those that needed her. She had always been there for every single member of the Pack. Always.

He pushed him memory searching, trying to remember when others had been there for her, but until recently could think of nothing. She had always done for herself never asking for help beyond what she needed as a Healer. Eli realised just how much he'd taken her for granted and if he had, just how much had the rest of the Pack.

Cade came out to give him a cold drink, startling him. "Eli, what is it?"

"Cade if I'm right and I'm certain I am, the Pack has a great deal to answer for in regards to the welfare and wellbeing of your mother."

"What do you mean?"

"What he means," Emma interrupted them, "is that Packs have a tendency to take advantage of their Healers. They expect them to always be there. Sadly they tend to forget to give back even a small part of what their Healer gives to them."

They looked at Emma surprised by her words, worried at the sadness in her eyes. "I've been around a long time, seen a thing or two. I watched as Jaz grew up; many of those years without a mother to turn to. Her brothers did their best, but like other Packs they tend not to see past what's needed for the Pack as a whole."

Realisation hit Cade, "She's never really had a life has she?"

Emma didn't answer, the look in her eyes said it all. Instead she changed the subject. "Eli can you please make sure we have enough chairs? I'll put up some iced tea. I'm not sure our guests will want anything more than that." She turned expecting Eli to follow and check on the number of chairs, which he did.

At twenty minutes to two, Jacob came down the back stairs carrying a large box that he place on the sideboard against the wall in the kitchen. He made sure the lid was in place before he went back to get Jaz. Everyone looked at the box, not daring to go near it, let alone touch it. This box held secrets, or parts of secrets to do with Jaz's past. It was up to her to share them; not one of them would take that away from her.

They left the front door open then gathered around the table, sitting according to where they believed they should be. Jaz at the head, Cade to her right with Cord sitting beside her. On her left sat Eli then Emma. Where everyone else sat would be up to them.

Jaz glanced at the box on top of the sideboard and paled. Jacob was suddenly there, hands on her shoulders giving her support. "Breathe Jazmina, breathe."

She breathed in and out, in and out then she heard footfalls and her heart rate picked up. "Mum you aren't alone." Cade and Eli both taking her hands helping to steady her.

Then suddenly they were there, Braedon, Kasey, Nicolas, Chrissy, Jaxson, their co-conspirator Gilbert as well as Phia who'd hung back waiting for her Nate. Jaz came to her feet, waiting until everyone was in the room. "Please take a seat, I'll try to make this as painless as possible."

Jaz waited until everyone was seated taking note of where they'd sat. Jaxson beside Emma, Chrissy and Nicolas beside them. On the other side of the table Gilbert sat beside Cord helping the boy relax somewhat. Beside Gilbert, Phia sat with Nate and at the end of the table opposite Jaz sat Kasey and her brother and Alpha Braedon.

"Before we begin I have a few rules that I'd like you to follow. This is after all my home and my story." When everyone gave a nod she continued. "What I have to tell you won't be pleasant. You may see what I have to say from a different perspective and that's fine, but you need to understand what I'm telling you is about me. This is about how I feel, how I felt and coped. How I dealt with what was forced on me."

Braedon came to his feel as if to defend himself and she growled. "This is my home Braedon, this meeting is not with my Alpha, or the head of security." She glanced at Nicolas. "This meeting is with my brothers, with my family and those I care about. I need to know that I can tell you want I need to say without interruption, without anger and without judgement. If you can't give me that there's no point in your being here."

Braedon gave her a nod of his head. "We'll hold our tongues until you've had your say."

Jaz turned first to Chrissy then Kasey, "I'd also appreciate it if you don't utilise your abilities. I'm calm and ready to do this. If I sense either of you touching my mind that'll be the end of this meeting."

She could see they weren't happy, but both women agreed. "Okay then." Taking her seat Jaz closed her eyes trying to focus on how and where to begin. "When our parents passed it feel to my brothers to care for me. They did the best they could and when they knew they were in over their heads they called upon the Elders for help.

"I actually got to spend a good amount of time with the Elders and I believe that's where my love of Healing began. I learned a great deal from them and showed an aptitude for Healing."

She saw the frustration on both her brother's faces and caught her breath. Once again Jacob was there one hand on her shoulder the other on the back of her chair offering her support.

Jaz relaxed, looking around the room. "This is difficult and if I'm going to explain myself I need to start where it all began." She sighed gave herself a minute to even out her breathing. "I remember how excited you both were when Tamara told you I had an affinity for Healing. You couldn't wait for me to finish school so I could go to university and study. You wanted me to me more than a Healer you wanted me to be a qualified doctor."

Jaz smiled. "I was excited too. But from that point onward my entire life was focused on my becoming the Pack Healer. There was no room for me, no time for me to be just what I was, a young woman barely grown."

Cord got out of his chair moving towards his mother. He didn't touch her, just stood by her hoping it was enough to give her the support she needed. Reaching out Jaz took her sons hand giving it a squeeze.

"I watched as girls my age flirted with the young men, some finding their mates some glad they hadn't so they had time to do more for themselves. I never had that opportunity. I never had that choice, not until Nate showed an interest in me."

Jaz noticed Phia all but curl in on herself, Nate putting an arm around her in comfort. "Phia none of this is about you. None of this is because of you." She waited until Phia acknowledged her words.

"None of the men my age had the guts to come near me let alone ask me out." She laughed. "They didn't want to face the wrath of my brothers. But Nate did. He knew we'd be in trouble if my brothers found out we were seeing each other, so we kept it between the two of us. I was in heaven! A girl's first love," she wiped at the tears on her cheeks.

"At the time I believed I was truly in love with Nate, would have done anything he asked to make him happy. But Nicolas caught us kissing and the next thing I knew I was being told Nate was in training to be an Enforcer. So he was off limits.

"I was young and in love, wasn't about to hear we couldn't be together. Nate was mine, he loved me. He'd proved that to me when we..."

"When you what?" asked Nicolas a glint of anger showing in his eyes.

Jaz ignored him. "Before I knew what was happening I was in Braedon's office arguing with both my brothers. I actually believed they had no right to rule my life. No right to tell me who I could and couldn't be with." She laughed, shaking her head sadly.

"I couldn't have been more wrong. Within weeks I was enrolled and packed off to university. As much as I wanted to become a Healer, that wasn't how I wanted it to happen. The entire process was forced on me. I had no choice as to what my life would be, my brothers decided, told me how things would be.

"I was young, there was no way I could go against both of them. My only hope was that Nate would fight to be with me." She shook her head, "the next time I saw him he didn't look at me, he looked past me as if," her voice caught almost in pain, "as if I wasn't even there. I knew then that he didn't love me, that he'd never really wanted me. I'd been a means to an end."

She saw the surprised expression on her brother's faces and laughed. "What better way to ensure you became an Enforcer than to date the Alpha's little sister. I'd been deemed off limits to all the men. If you believed Nate wanted me the only way to prevent us being together was to make him an Enforcer. After all, Enforcers didn't mate, they were seen as having blood on their hands. What family would allow their daughter or sister to mate with someone like that?" Her brothers glared at Nate as the colour drained from his face.

"In any case he distance himself from me, avoided any contact with me. Being so young and naïve I actually believed he'd want to say goodbye before I left. He made sure he was nowhere near when I was forced from my home. I think what hurt the most was the realisation that he really didn't give a damn about me.

"The thing is though, I needed to see him. I needed to speak to him. Unfortunately Nate didn't want to see me and my brothers did everything they could to prevent me from seeing him. In the end I pulled away distancing myself from him, from my brothers... from everyone.

"I wouldn't speak to either of my brothers, couldn't bear to even look at them. It was Jacob who took me to Sydney. He was the one that helped me settle in. It was Jacob that I kept in contact with, only speaking to my brothers if I had no choice."

She was shaking, clasping her hands in her lap trying to at least appear calm. "Jaz are you all right?" Jacob crouched down so he could look her in the eye. He then poured her a glass of iced tea. "Drink. It's full of sugar which will help." She drank.

No one spoke giving Jaz time to gather her thoughts. "If you can remember back, I didn't come home for semester breaks. Not that first year, nor any other year. In fact I refused to return home until I had completed my studies; even then only if I had my own home to come back to. Do you remember?" she asked looking at her brothers, neither of who responded.

"What you don't know is why I refused to return home that first year. The reason why we are all here now. Jacob came to visit me several times, told me he was concerned about my being so isolated from family and Pack. It didn't seem to bother my brothers. Their concerns were for the Pack as a whole, not for one member that needed to be controlled.

"It was on his second visit that Jacob realised why I'd been so frantic about speaking with Nate. And why I refused to return home."

Jaz turned to the sideboard and Eli brought the box over placing it in front of her before taking his seat again.

Jaz ran a hand over the top of the box so gently it was almost a caress. Coming to her feet she took the lid of placing it beside the box. Every single face around the table had their eyes on the box, all curiously waiting to see what was in it.

Jaz touched several of the items in the box not sure which to take out first. Finally settling on an item she lifted it up with both hands closing her eyes so she could focus on the plush softness of the toy in she was holding.

She heard several gasps, opened her eyes to see everyone looking at the blue teddy bear in her hands. Jaz held it to her chest, close to her heart wishing with everything she was that it was more than just a toy.

Placing the bear back in the box she lifted a blue baby blanket with one hand and a pair of white booties with the other. No one spoke. The women had tears racing down their cheeks and the men... the men seemed to be in shock. She placed them back in the box, then taking a deep calming breath and with the utmost care picked up a small blue urn.

Jaz didn't look at anyone, couldn't or she'd lose control completely. "I only had him for a few hours. Then he was gone. It took me years to quietly discover why I lost my son. It seems that isolation can be a factor and well as heart sickness. At the time I was suffering from both. I was used and thrown away when I was no longer of use. Rather than consoling me, or explaining that perhaps he wasn't the right man for me. I was punished for what I felt, sent away – isolated from my family, my Pack and everything I had ever known."

"No! This can't be true... I'd have known."

With all the courage she could muster Jaz put the urn back in the box and faced Nate. "How would you have known? I tried so many times to see you, to speak with you. I kept telling myself when you knew I was pregnant things would be different. You avoided me Nate. You didn't want anything to do with me."

Taking a moment to catch her breath Jaz ran a hand through her hair. "Months later I discovered that the last time we were together, you should have been able sense the pregnancy." She gripped hold of the sides of the box as if for comfort or support. "I guess you just didn't want to know."

"Why didn't you say something, we could have..."

"Could have what Nicolas, forced me to mate with someone who didn't want me! We'd have ended up hating each other and what would have happened when he finally met Phia?"

Jaz shook her head, knowing in her heart her and Nate would never have worked. "It was never going to be a winning situation for anyone. In any case neither of you heard anything I was trying to say at the time. You kept going on and on at me about the same things. I was a Romanoff. I had responsibilities. I would be the Pack Healer. I would be responsible for the care and well-being of every member of your Pack. That's all I heard until the day I was forced from my home."

"My son." Nate's voice held so much pain.

Jaz glared at him, "He was my son Nate. He was never yours. Had he lived I'm not entirely sure I'd have wanted you in his life. How would I have explained to him that you walked away from me without even a backward glance?"

Braedon spoke up then, "You should have come to us we could have brought you home, taken care of you. My god Jaz you had a son and you didn't tell anyone." He shook his head.

Jacob cleared his throat. "She wasn't alone Brae. I knew. I visited her as often as I could. She needed someone and didn't trust either of you anymore. Jaz felt abandoned, betrayed by the two most important people in her life. She needed someone to confide in, someone to call upon if she needed help. I became that person. Can you imagine how bad things would have been if she'd had no one? Jaz swore me to secrecy and I kept to it."

Jaz reached out a hand to Jacob. "Jacob was with me when I gave birth. He stayed with me as the doctor explained that my son didn't have much time that I needed to prepare myself for his passing.

"How the hell do you prepare to lose your child? Jacob stayed with me, refused to leave. He took photographs so I'd at least have something of him to remember. He was so beautiful, so gentle, so not deserving of the life he would have been dealt had he lived."

Those last words shocked everyone into voicing their opinions, speaking their minds. Throughout it all Jaz remained silent, letting them speak their peace. Of all people it was Jax who brought back control. Knowing full well how sound sensitive Were's are he whistled, long and loud.

When finally everyone was sitting holding their ears and understandably growling at him he spoke his peace. "Jesus-H-Christ! Jaz has to be one of the strongest, gentlest women I've ever met. From what I've heard from the Pack and believe me I've heard plenty she's taken care of every single person here at one stage or another. She's given her entire life to this Pack and from what I've heard today she was expected to give her entire bloody life. That's bullshit!"

Jax saw anger on more than one face and when Kasey opened her mouth to quiet him he shook his head. "Don't. I'm thinking maybe it was a good thing having an outsider here. If you can't see that this Pack has drained the life out of her then your idiots."

He turned to Jaz. "My offer still stands. You and your family are more than welcome to stay with me. I've got a big house with lots of room, your welcome to stay for a few days, a week or indefinitely. That's your choice." he took his seat grumbling about stubborn Were's.

"Jaz," Braedon spoke calmly. "What did you mean when you said your son was not deserving of the life he'd be dealt if he lived?"

"I'm a Romanoff. If I'd have told you I had a child and refused to take Nate as my mate I'm fairly certain you'd have taken the child from me. Placed him with someone older, someone more appropriate with more experience. Someone better equipped to care for him.

"He would have been known as the bastard child and if you or Nicolas didn't had children, do you think for one minute that my son would be seen as an heir. And what of his father? People would always wonder what was so wrong with me that he'd leave me even though I was carrying his child."

Braedon sat down somewhat shocked at her words, "Are you so certain that's how it would be sister?"

"Think back on how you treated me brother. Both of you forced me away from my home, forced me to be what you declared I would be. Something that given time I would have eased into. You took my choices away from me and because of that my son was taken from me. I don't know if I can forgive either of you for that."

Chrissy came to her feet, "Jaz I think I understand now why you were so full on about ensuring Kyle lived. It wasn't that you didn't care about me, you were deathly afraid of losing another son."

"Yes." Jaz looked at each person there, knowing she'd have to live with whatever they thought of her and her choices. Cord moved closer to her in support, Cade's face beamed with pride knowing what it must have taken for her to tell this story. Eli had come to his feet and was standing by Jaz, his way of showing support.

Pain and sadness was shown in both her brothers' eyes as with their mates. Jaxson was pissed off on her behalf, which made her want to smile, Gilbert remained silent, calm as always whereas Phia was sobbing and Nate seemed to be in so much pain he looked like he wanted to scream.

Jaz hated seeing Phia hurting so much. "Phia," it was spoken softly, but loud enough that a Were would hear. Phia lifted her eyes and Jaz opened her arms to her. The submissive woman pulled away from her mate making her way to Jaz who pulled her into her arms. "It's all right Phia. I'm almost done, but I need you to calm down."

Jaz gave Chrissy a nod and in moments calmness flooded Phia. "Better?" she asked. Phia nodded but didn't pull away. Someone pulled a chair up so they could both sit down, once Jaz was assured Phia was calm enough she looked at the others.

"I'm not sure if Braedon has told you or not. I've stepped down as Pack Healer. I'm sure you would have noticed Maddock around the place by now. He's on loan for the time being. Phia's asked me to stay and take care of her and the baby. I've promised to do so. I'll be here until she gives birth."

She saw confusion on several faces. "In the mean time I'll be considering my options. I'm not sure if I'll be staying on here at the Compound. If I decide to leave I'll need somewhere to go to. That's another decision I'll need to make. I'll need somewhere to start over, somewhere to begin my life again. Please don't try talking me into staying. This has to be my decision," she laughed. "I never thought I'd actually be making a decision regarding leaving this place."

"But this is your home." stated Kasey.

"No it isn't. The Compound hasn't been my home since the day I was forced to leave it. I've lived here, done what was expected of me, tried to do the best I could with the life I was forced into, but this isn't my home. This house became my home only when Cade and Cord came arrived." she looked at her children. "They are the only things that have kept me going these past months."

Gilbert came to his feet, turning to the Healer. "Jaz I've known you your entire life, just as I have your brothers. It saddens me deeply that you may choose to leave us. You are an adult and have the right to choose how you live your life. That includes where you live it. I worked alongside your father for many years, stayed with him when he met your mother deciding to focus on protecting your family. I apologise for not being there for you as much as I should have. I helped Jacob as much as I could, but that was not nearly enough. Please forgive me for not seeing that you were in need of help sooner."

Braedon was shocked at Gilbert's words, "Gilbert you knew?"

"I knew in part. I didn't ask questions, just offered what assistance I could." He turned to Jaz once more. "As you've said you will be here throughout young Phia's pregnancy. Perhaps during that time something will change your mind and you'll choose to stay on, whether as Healer or not that will be up to you. For now however, I believe we all have a great deal to consider."

Jaz smiled at Gilbert. "Yes Gilbert you're right. I'm tired and I'd like to spend time with my family." Cade joined Cord and Eli standing with her and Jacob. "We all have a great deal to think about." She reached placing the lid back on the box, seeing Nate out of the corner of her eye.

He was moving towards her anger and pain written across his face, hardening his eyes. "His name. What was my sons' name!" he reached for the box, thankfully Jacob had already claimed it.

"You knew." Jaz did her best to control her anger. "God Nate. I always believed that deep down inside some part of you knew. You just didn't want to believe it, didn't want to face it because if you didn't acknowledge it then it wasn't real."

Jaz shook her head at him, fists clenched at her sides. "You gave up any rights to my son when you turned your back on us. Don't ask for his name or a photograph or even a memory of him. They are mine!"

Cord unfortunately took that opportunity to call Nate out on his behaviour towards his mother. "Now that you know what happened, you should apologise for yelling at her and making her cry. Cause I meant what I said. I won't come back to training sessions with you until you do."

Eli put his face in his hands trying not to laugh, the boy's timing truly sucked. He glanced up saw his mate watching him, realised he'd given himself away and would need to explain what had happened. He sighed. Best to get things out in the open. It never pays to have secrets from your mate.

When they left, Kasey and Chrissy took charge of Phia, insisting she come back to the main house at least for the night. Neither wanted to leave her with Nate, not in the condition he was in. Braedon and Nicolas all but dragged Nate out of the house, ordering him to stay away from Jaz. They all had a great deal to think about. Most importantly Jaz might be leaving the Compound, leaving the family and that did not sit well with either brother.

Sometime later Braedon sat in his office with Nicolas. "We can't let her leave." He sighed. "I know we can't stop her, but..." he got to his feet needing to move, found himself pacing the office floor.

Nicolas remained seated, "If Jaz leaves she won't be going alone."

"No. Her family." He ran a hand over his face in frustration, "Cord is as a son to her. She'll want to take him with her and Cade..."

"Cade is loyal to the woman she calls mother. Eli is her mate he'll go with them to ensure they are all safe. In time Taylor and Leith will follow."

"Shit! I'm not sure there is anything we can do to prevent this. Why the hell didn't she come to us when she discovered she was pregnant?"

Nicolas laughed. "Was she right Brae? Would we have taken her child and placed him with someone more else? Would we truly have hurt her in that way?"

"It seems we've already hurt her in a great many ways." He sat on the couch face in his hand unable to find a way to keep his sister here without hurting her further.

Jax came in, seeing the situation for what it was. "If you try to make her stay she'll end up hating you. If you try blackmailing her into staying – using Cade and Eli's importance to the Pack to make her stay, you'll end up losing them all. If you want my advice, leave it for now. There's not a damned thing you can do or say that's going to sway her one way or the other. Things have a way of working out the way they're supposed to. Give it time. Give her time."

"When exactly did you get so damned smart?"

Jax laughed. "I'm a cop Braedon. Cops need to be smart or they end up dead. Right now if I was you, I'd be focusing on Nate. He's in a lot of pain. He knows he's screwed up royally. Finding out he was a father..." Jax shook his head and sat opposite the Alpha.

"Where's Phia?"

"She's tucked into bed upstairs." Jacob stood in the office doorway. "She didn't want to go back to Emma's and though she wouldn't admit it I'd say she was somewhat afraid to be with Nate."

"Jaz?" asked Nicolas.

"She's exhausted. Today took a great deal out of her." He sighed. "It was time though. Keeping everything bottled up all these years, it's been eating at her. To be honest I don't know how she's been able to hold it together for this long."

"I can't believe we treated her so badly. For god's sake, she's our sister." Nicolas took a turn pacing the floor.

"Jax is right, we need to keep an eye on Nate. We isolated Jaz because she loved someone be deemed inappropriate at the time. We can't do the same to Nate. Nicolas keep someone on him."

Braedon turned back to Jacob. "It was a good idea to bring Phia here. It'll be easier to manage him if when he comes looking for his mate." He sighed, "And he will come for her. The man has just discovered he's been denied one child, he's not about to let that happen a second time."