I led Harry out to the back porch, a nervous pull in the pit of my stomach.

I knew this conversation wasn't going to be easy, even if we were on the same page. Last night was confusing hurricane of emotion, centered around events that neither of us have yet to get over and that neither of us can change. Although the accident was well over eight months ago, that's where a lot of the roots of our problem lay, but also where the root of our relationship grows.

On the other hand, however, this morning has just been the tell all sign for me that I care much more about Harry than I thought.

Our friendship was intense from the start. Lots of emotion and feelings that were hard to uncover. But it wasn't our fault. I guess the naive part of me just thought we were both emotional people and that our whirlwind of feelings was just a repercussion of the accident. I never thought that the underlying chemistry could turn out to be more.

We sat on the cushioned bench on the back porch, about a foot of space between the two of us. The sun was out, shining around us, and the spring morning had a soft breeze to it. I didn't exactly know how to start the conversation, and was hoping Harry could lead us off.

"So..." I said.

"So." He said, green eyes piercing into mine. We were quiet for another few moments until Harry spoke up. "What are we gonna do about this. Us?"

"Us?" I asked. I don't want anything to be left undiscussed or misunderstood. Harry was silent for a minute before clearing his throat.

"Paisley, I've gone back and forth in my head for weeks. I don't know when I started having these feelings for you. Maybe it was last night but more likely it was the first time I made eye contact with you, your body laying there in the middle of the street. This whole process of your recovery and us becoming friends has been nothing like I've ever experienced before. I've never cared as much for someone as much as I do for you. And I've just now realized that those feelings go deeper than just friends." As his words sunk in, the thoughts in my mind seemed to go at a mile a minute.

"Ummm..." I said, not quite sure how to respond. Harry just openly declared his feelings for me and I'm not sure how I feel. I know I care about Harry a lot, but I don't yet know the depth of those feelings and I hadn't even thought about them being romantic feelings at all until last night.

"Shit. I, you, I don't know what I want you to say. Sorry I just dumped all of that on you like that."

"No, I'm glad it's all out in the open." I said.

"Yeah, I guess." Harry said, a hint of dismal in his tone. We were both silent for a moment as I tried to figure out what to say.

"I care about you so much, Harry. We've become so close these past months and I've really loved being able to help you transform into the more caring, loving man you've become. And, I guess I just never thought of you romantically until last night, and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it."

"I get that. I was so confused at first, too. Last night, though, when we kissed cleared it all up for me."

"I just really value our friendship. Especially with Hattie gone, you've been a really big support. That's why it would kill me if all of this ever stopped, because I depend so much on you. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the spark when your lips met mine." Harry perked up when I said this, a smile gracing his lips and his green eyes shining as they bore into mine.

"You felt it too?" He asked hopefully. The way he was looking at me was so innocent and vulnerable and so un-Harry-like, that I couldn't help but giggle.

"Of course. Granted, I haven't kissed many guys, but that was by far the best kiss I've ever had, even though it took me by surprise." Harry let out a sigh of relief, but then his cocky side came back as a smirk came over his features.

"What can I say?" He joked. "But in all seriousness, I'm really relieved. I was so worried that the chemistry between us was all one-sided."

"We've always had that chemistry, Harry. I just never recognized it until last night."

"Yeah." Harry agreed, nodding earnestly. Silence overtook us again as I didn't know what to say or what we were supposed to do now. Not that I've thought about it much until last night, but I could see myself in a relationship with Harry, but only if he wants the same thing. But is a relationship worth the risk?

"So where do we go from there, then?" I asked, cringing at the thought.

"Well," Harry said, giving me a calculating look. "Where do you want this to go?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I know I have feelings for you, but I'm scared as to what might happen if this doesn't work out. Is a relationship worth the risk of our friendship?"

Harry let out a big sigh before answering.

"Fuck. I don't know. I really want to be with you Pay. Like, a relationship, I mean. And it's crazy because never before have I felt this strongly about a girl. But, I also don't want to lose you. I don't want anything to break down what we've worked so hard to build up, you know?"

"I know. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. That's the only reason why I'd be hesitant to be in a relationship with you."

"Yeah." Harry said and that familiar silence as upon us again. "I just don't know how we can go back, though. I'll never be able to forget the feeling of you pressed against me, your lips on mine." Harry said, the words falling off his lips effortlessly as he stared off in the distance, making it clear he was thinking hard. I'd never seen someone look so beautiful while saying something equally beautiful.

"I know." I said, a wistful tone taking over my voice. I really was unsure of what to do. Part of me wants to explore what this is with Harry, but another part of me really wants to leave that in the unknown. But I do understand where Harry is coming from. I'm not sure how easy it is going to be to forget a kiss like the one we shared last night. Or the fact that everytime we've touched today, I've felt an excited giddiness spread through me like wildfire. And would things be awkward since we've already crossed over the 'friendship line' once?

We were sitting there in silence, both of us consumed in our thoughts. Some birds were chirping in the distance, and I could hear kids playing in their backyard a couple houses down. It's always been crazy to me how one person's world could be completely changing, and other's are completely fine.

"I'd be willing to give it a try if you would." Harry's voice broke the silence and brought me out of my deep thoughts, the impact of the words hitting me like a ton of bricks. He wants to do this. He wants to risk everything. He wants to be more than friends with me.

I'm sure I'm killing Harry on the inside, keeping him waiting for my reply, but I want to be completely sure that what I say is what I really want. Still, as his green eyes burned into my own and the beating of my heart sped up to a rate that was surely not good for the human body, and the warm breeze sent goosebumps over my skin, I can't help but know exactly what I want at this moment, and I'm going to go with my gut.

"I want to give it a try." As the words tumbled off my lips, I felt a wave of relief. Relief because we didn't have to think about it anymore, the decision was already made. And relief because we were going to do it. Harry and I were going to explore the unknown. We were going to go for it.

"Good. I was hoping you would want to." Harry said, looking relaxed at my answer. He unconsciously scooted closer to me and tugged me into his chest, putting his arm around me. "If you think about it this way, we may be taking a risk, but think of what we could have missed out on if we weren't going to do this." His deep voice said into my ear.

"That's true." I said, letting the tension out of my body and falling limp in his arms. The scent of Harry took over my senses and I closed my eyes, peacefully enjoying this moment when everything was fine. This is a good thing. I said to myself.

"I want to go slow." I whispered out, opening my eyes and looking up to Harry.

"Me too." He said. "I want to do this right."

I laid back down and giggled, thinking how ironic all of this is.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked, nudging me playfully.

"It's just crazy. I didn't think this would ever happen."

"Me either." He said. "I'm just going to warn you, I'm probably going to be a horrible boyfriend. I'm sorry."

"Always apologizing. You need to stop. You don't give yourself enought credit for all the good things you've done." I say, meaning every word of it.

"Well I've screwed up a lot. And I'm sure I will in the future."

"Not with that attitude you're not." I said playfully, not wanting to turn what was a good moment into a bad one.

"I'll try." He said. I loved this feeling of contentedness. I wondered how long it would last.

"Let's go on a date. On Friday." Harry said.

"Alright."

"I'm going to take you out. Like on a traditional date." He said deteminately.

"Sounds good." I like how hard he was trying. It was so unlike him and honestly made me glad that we were going to do this.

"Good." Harry said.

After that, we went back inside. Harry said he should probably get back home because his parents would be returning to town soon (although he claimed he didn't care to see them anyway). He said goodbye to my mom and Aunt Kara and then I walked him out to the front porch.

"I'll pick you up for school tomorrow?" He questioned.

"Yep." I said. Then, Harry took me in his arms and gave me a hug. He brought his lips to my forehead and pressed them there, the sweet gesture sending my heart fluttering.

"That was for wanting to go slow." He said, and his words made it even more meaningful. "But I can't promise I'll be able to keep my lips off of yours on Friday." He said, a smirk gracing his features.

"Goodbye, Harry." I said, smiling to myself that his usual confident nature was back.

"Bye, Pay."

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