Dear Marcus Johnson, Jr.

If you're reading this letter then I've passed on to the afterlife, so I'll get straight to the point, my deepest regret was hiding who I really was from my own son, that was also hiding who he really was from me, his father

Talk about irony. I've loved you from the moment you were born. Your mother didn't want you or any part of you. Why, you may be wondering, because she found out that I dated her brother and I only hooked up with her because I wasn't ready to come out of the closet. Ginger had no desire to be seen or heard during daylight savings.

I had to justify why I was spending so much time with Todd, her brother so I lied and said that he was my best friend that has a sister name Jackie Taylor I'm madly in love with, but don't know how to tell her.

I got the pussy that night, son. I loved pussy, but I was jealous of it getting a pounding from me, when all I could think about was her brother fucking me long, hard and deep, telling Ginger that she had the sweetest pussy.

That's her nickname, Sweet Dee.

SweeTEST Puussy

I think of how I found out that you were gay. You stared a second too longer at a cute dude when he walks by, the slight bulge in your pants when you hang out with Steph and her friends.

I always wondered why you and your cousin Steph stopped talking to each other. I didn't care about the rumors galloping through our family that you were both fucking.

I know you denied it when it was brought to your attention.

But I know you screwed your cousin. Yes, you caught me in the act, when I was Ginger. But there's something you should know. I saw you and Steph with my own eyes, but because the fake side of me understood why, my morals as a man was compromised. Because I've always felt that I should have been born a woman, but because society didn't accept it I never told a soul.

And that's where our connection unraveled. I threatened to tell everyone if I found out that you were gay to hide behind my own desire to stay private about Ginger.

If only Ginger could have met Sweet Dee. Our true selves, our bond would have been stronger.

But you beat me into a coma, one I pulled through. I didn't die by your hands. Before the start of your trial I started writing the letter you now possess.

Once I end this letter I'm going to swallow an entire bottle of pills and slit my wrists for failing you as a father, and for raising you into a reflection of my indiscretions.

If it ever comes down to your decision to end my life, I know you won't hesitate to put your secret to rest. That you were gay and had no knowledge that I stood at Steph's bedroom window and saw you banging her on the floor.

I guess we both have secrets.

Don't think for one second that your Sucker punches ended my life.

No, son.

Don't flatter yourself too much.

Ginger said that you hit like a bitch.

Love always, Dad