The next morning, Shea shakes me awake. I wonder what she could want... Of course, in the fashion of a true mate, Shea keeps no secrets from me. 'I think you were a little too tired last night, Tobias.'

'Why do you think that, sweetheart?'

'Well, this morning... I felt something in here...' she says as she pulls her shirt up just past her stomach and rubs the slightly protruding uncovered spot. Why didn't she tell me she was pregnant before? Oh, wait a minute; that's because it just happened last night, dumbass!

If Mr. Brownstein (my boss) doesn't raise my wages so I can pay for the child, I'm gonna be screwed and Shea will be pissed; there's no denying the former.

She sees me staring at her barely-noticable 'baby bump' and, running her hand along my open jaw, whispers 'Tobias? Are you alright, honey?' I nod and reply 'Yeah; I'm fine; I've gotta go work for an ungrateful asshole now...'

'I'm so sorry this happened, Tobias... I am a naughty girl...'

'I forgive you, sweetheart... But next time, tell me...' I coax her into a passionate kiss as she lets out a small moan, which rises and lowers in pitch. As my lips move to her neck, she whimpers 'Oh, my God, Tobias... I swear to the Lord Almighty you're a godsend...'

I stop kissing her and ask 'How so, my love?' She giggles and kisses me again. 'I can't tell you that, my dear...' In case you're wondering, yeah, I do remember having sex with Shea, if only vaguely. I sit there as she describes the feeling of being close to me, of feeling me running my hands underneath her panties, of the urgency of my kisses.

Somehow, my brain compiles all this into a scene in my head. It come out looking like so:

Me (Tobias): Shea, baby, my boss needs to quit being such a bastard... I worked so hard today, and did I get recognition? No!

Shea: Tobias... You need to calm down, baby...

Me: Shea, my dear, there are some things in this world that a woman - such as yourself - will never, or should never, experience. God forbid it if you do, my love.

Shea: I love you, Toby...