I think I've tried on all the clothes in my wardrobe tonight. At least all the ones I thought would be remotely appropriate for the party. An exasperated sigh leaves my lips as I sink back onto the ground, amidst piles and piles of clothes. This will take so long to tidy again.

A look on my bedside alarm tells me it's nearing eight and I'm nowhere near ready. This is definitely problematic. Roan is going to walk into my bedroom soon and when he finds me like this, he'll not hesitate about leaving me at home. He won't like me being this nervous and won't allow me to go. I can't have that happening. I start shoving the piles of clothing towards my closet which I can close with sliding doors, luckily. This way my room won't look like a war zone and there won't be anything give my nervous state away, except me of course.

I grab a dress from the gigantic pile, deciding to wear it even though I'm not entirely comfortable in it. I hope Roan lets me wear it, he can be so overly protective from time to time. Of course I'm grateful that he cares so much, but it's also a little tiring. At least when I'm going to be in college next fall, he can't be this overbearing anymore. I am going to live on campus in a dorm. I've had to beg for it for quite a while, but he has finally agreed to it, realizing caging me like a bird was only going to have to opposite effect of keeping me safe.

I put the dress on and quickly apply some make-up. I can't do it properly even if my life depends on it, so I lightly use some mascara and try to blend in a few shades of eyeshadow so my eyes will look smokey. I have no time to apply concealer and foundation so I don't. If I were to use it, I'd probably end up with an orange line on my jaw where I'd stopped, I'm that bad at it.

A few short knocks on my bedroom door make me look up, where Roan pops his head in with one hand in front of his eyes.

"Are you decent?"

I giggle, he's such a dork.

"Yes!"

I smile widely at him, twirling once in my simple dress.

"Is this okay?"

I can't help but let my insecurity shine through in my question, but it works in my advantage this time as a look of pity crosses Roan's face for a split second, quickly replaced by something else, guilt maybe? Does he still feel as though he's failing me? Anyway, he won't tell me not to wear it now, because he'll fear he's making me feel even worse. Wow, I've never thought myself capable of manipulating someone like that. I need to remember this for next time

"No matter what you wear, you look gorgeous, Rose."

I smile, blushing a little. He's done such a great job replacing both of our parents. Providing for us, being a Dad because of his strong will to protect me against everything, and being a Mom for trying to get me to feel good about myself, always. He is always thinking about me, I'm always his first thought. I wish I could help him so he won't need to feel this stressed all the time, but he won't let me get a job as well.

"We should probably go."

I say, when I notice both of us are a little lost in our thoughts. We can't allow ourselves to wallow in these thoughts too often, because they are crippling. Sorrow is crippling, if you let it. It takes control of all actions, until all you do is sleep and eat and cry, and sometimes not even eat.

Roan nods, leaving my room, expecting me to follow. I obviously do, I don't want to miss anything tonight. We make our way to the front of the house.

Because of Roan stepping up all those years ago, we have been able to keep our parents' house, so we still live here, we have even kept their room intact, although neither of us has stepped foot in it since they died, so it's not really an accomplishment, it's more that neither of us wants to invade the room that is theirs. I wait on the porch for Roan to lock our home because I always feel anxious when I'm already waiting by the car. Our neighborhood isn't dangerous or anything, but I fear someone will take me against my wishes. It's childish for me to still fear being kidnapped, but I can't help it.

After Roan finishes, he grabs my hand like he always does and leads me to my side of the car, waiting until I'm buckled in before closing the door. He knows me so well. He has been doing this since they've been gone and it doesn't look like he'll stop soon. We both like the ritual too much. I watch him walk around the hood as I hold my breat until he climbs in next to me. I'm always so afraid something will happen to him. Which is why I don't like him working at mr. Styles' firm either, but he insists no other job will allow him to take care of the both of us, so I don't bother objecting anymore.

He quickly starts the car as soon as he's in, gently taking my hand to rub it a few times in reassurance, he's still here, nothing happened. My fears are almost as crippling as our shared sorrow, but they have good reasons. What will become of me if something happens to him? I have no life experience and no one will hire me. I won't be able to go to college and I'll likely end up in dead in some gutter. I won't even be able to work the streets because I'm so awkward around men. So he can't die. He can't leave me.

We drive back to the busy city and he parks the car in the underground parking lot of the firm. We take the stairs up towards the reception area as he knows how much I dislike elevators. They are too confined and they make so many sounds that don't sound so thrustworthy. It always sounds like they're close to breaking down and they tremble so much when arriving to the right floor! So we try to avoid them as much as possible for my sake. I have an awesome brother!

We are slightly out of breath by the time we reach the ground floor, or at least I am. Roan has a much better physique than I do. I take a few minutes to compose myself before we go in through the door. I don't want to make too much of a fool out of myself by looking like a sweating pig. Roan cocks an eyebrow at me, as if checking if I'm alright. I notice he's trying not to laugh at me, so I huff.

"Not everyone is 6 foot perfect muscle."

He can't contain his laughter this time and I watch him nearly double over.

"Roan." I hiss.

I cross my arms in front of my body and watch him, raising an eyebrow of my own, waiting for him to finish. My labored breathing has finally gotten back to normal, or maybe I've forgotten about it because Roan's laughing at me.

Finally he stands up straight again, looking at me sheepishly.

"You're so funny."

He pretends to swipe away a tear and I scowl at him.

"This is so, not funny."

"Is too."

"What are you, five? Let's go in, we're going to miss the party."

Now it's Roan's turn to scowl at me, but he grabs my hand and walks out the door. I smile, I've finally won an 'argument', we're making progress. I usually can't outwit him with my words. Whenever I need to beg for something, it entails a lot of puppy eyes. Very efficient too, if you ask me.

When we walk through the door, I'm instantly mesmorized by the way the hall has been transformed in these short few hours since I was here last. Tiny twinkling lights have been strung all around the room, giving it a sort of glow. It's not the kind of party I had been expecting from a man as intimidating as Harry Styles. I had expected it to be more of a nightclub feel, with loud music blasting and flickering harsh lights. I love the way this room looks now though, so elegant with a champagne bar and white leather seats. Of course a DJ booth is present, but the DJ is playing House tunes, low and mellow.

"Wow." I exclaim, getting excited and nearly bouncing up and down in place. Roan pulls me towards the bar and hands me a flute of champagne.

"Only one." he warns.

I nod, eagerly taking the glass. It will be my first glass of alcohol and I'm feeling very jittery about it. I'm glad Roan seems to be easing up, but that might have something to do with me going to college again. If he introduces me to these stimuli now, then I might be less intrigued to try them in a more dangerous situation when he isn't near. Must have something to do with the bird cage conversation. Not that I am complaining.

Carefully I take a sip from the golden liquid, my nose crunching together a little because it's bubbling so hard and it tickles my nose. I giggle and Roan raises both his eyebrows.

"If you're drunk from one sip, then that's enough already."

He moves to take the glass from me, but I move, so he misses it. Suddenly, an arm wraps around my waist, startling me.