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"Words in double quotes" - Talking

'Words in single quotes' - Thoughts

5. Doubt if it's love

Two years...

For two years she had built the walls around her heart, enclosed it inside concrete walls, sealed in an iron prison and made sure no one can break it. She was sure no one could break these walls and hurt her ever again. She built them so that she never has to go through the same pain and loneliness...again.

And her efforts weren't in vain. For two whole years, she had successfully defended her heart, kept herself from falling in love.

But the heart rarely listens. And life? It never goes as we planned.

'Not to mention my rotten luck.' Pragya let out a miserable sigh, as it was the only thing that seemed she could do in her state.

Purab looked up from where he was busy checking his new camera given to him by Aliyah. He actually planned to tell Pragya the truth about why she was chosen for the film. He was adamant on his decision. Purab didn't think anything could convince him otherwise. Yet, once Aliyah promised to get him the new camera of the latest model, he changed his decision. After all, he was only human. Who in the world would refuse?!

"Something wrong Pragya?"

"Its nothing Purab."

Purab put down the camera and moved to sit in front of her, looking directly into her eyes. "You're the worst liar ever. Don't you know that?"

Pragya contemplated whether to tell him or not. Finally, she decided to tell him. She needed some advice from someone she could trust. "Its...its Abhi."

"Abhi? What about him? Did he insult you again? Oh, He better book a hospital room!"

"Purab no! It's not that."

"Then?"

"Remember when Nikhil visited a week ago?"

"Did he plan something with Abhi and insult you? Ooooo...both are dead!" 😡

"Purab no! Its not that either. I...I..."

"You what?" Purab asked in confusion.

"I don't know, okay!?" Pragya got up in frustration and paced around the room. "Remember the time Nikhil visited a week ago?" when he nodded, Pragya continued. "Well...Nikhil was being rude to me. And the way he was looking at me..." Pragya shuddered at the memory in disgust. "I don't think I could have escaped from him if it wasn't for Abhi. The way he came to my defense, it...it really touched my heart. And even before that, I would have fallen face flat on the snow if it wasn't for Abhi."

Purab blinked in bewilderment as he saw her blush while speaking of Abhi. 'Ehhhhh? Is she starting to like that prude?'

"When he held me Purab, I...I felt like my heart would jump out of my mouth! And this entire week, even his presence is enough to make me blush and stutter."

Purab looked at her open-mouthed. "Are you saying that you're falling in love with him!?"

Pragya adverted her eyes while turning beet red, which was enough of an answer for Purab.

"Well smack my head and call me Bambie! You really are, aren't you?!" 😱

Pragya sighed and sat down with a heavy sigh. "Maybe? Maybe not? I don't know Purab. I don't know anything! I never planned for this to happen! I thought I would do the film, get the money and save the orphanage. I never imagined that I would start falling in love with the hero of the film!"

"You may say you don't know. But your actions clearly suggest that you are falling for him. In fact, you may as well be totally smitten in his love!"

"But...but this wasn't supposed to happen! Not to mention the fact that I was chosen because they thought I won't fall for Abhi. And now look! I'm ruining everything!"

Purab looked at her with pity. She looked close to tears. On one hand, was her heart and on the other, everything else. She feared that if she chose her heart, everyone else would be hurt. 'Funny. I wonder how she would react if she knew that everyone else is planning to unite her and Abhi.' Purab looked down in thought. 'But is Abhi really right for Pragya? Is he the one that can give Pragya the happiness she deserves? Pragya tries to hide it, but I know something big and terrible happened to her two years ago. She may smile for others, but I know she is suffering from within. Is Abhi the one who can bring back her old self? Bring a true and genuine smile on her face?'

Purab thought over Abhi and all the time he had spent with the Mehras. The entire time, Abhi had been nothing but a gentleman towards Pragya. Yes, he behaved somewhat rudely to her at first. But that was him being his typical prudish self. Other than that, he had always been good to Pragya. 'I hate to admit it. But Abhi would be a perfect husband for  Praygya. I believe he can keep her happy. He even defends her whenever Nikhil visits. Grrr! That Nikhil! These days, he has been visiting the set more often, not to mention the way he keeps looking at Pragya! I ought to smack that son of a bi-' Purab shook his head of those thoughts. He was moving off topic.

"And Purab I...I'm scared." Pragya spoke, looking at him with tearful eyes. "What if I am really in love with him? Will I be able to handle his rejection?"

"Rejection? Why would you even think about him rejecting you?"

"He is waiting for the perfect partner, remember? And I am in no way perfect Purab. If I confess to him, he might never want to talk to me ever again!"

Purab placed a hand on her shoulder. "Yes, you aren't perfect. But is he? No, he isn't either. Everyone has flaws, everyone has their own skeletons in their closets. But that doesn't mean that they are messed up. It just means that they are human. Abhi may be looking for the perfect one. But maybe its you and he just doesn't realize it yet. Perfect love doesn't need to be perfect Pragya. It just needs to be true."

"How can you be so sure that I am the one? How can you be sure that I can meet his expectations of perfection?"

Purab smiled at her. "Because I know that in love, there is no such thing as perfection. We waste time looking for the perfect one. But the truth is...a perfect person doesn't exist. Perfect love is created, not found Pragya. And its time you show Abhi that."

Pragya looked at him with uncertainty. "Are you sure? What if you're wrong? What if I regret telling him my feelings later?"

Purab turned her towards the door and gave her a push. "Go and get that prude Pragya. True love comes only once. Don't make the mistake of losing it because of 'what if's. Its better to live regretting, than not doing something to regret at all."

Pragya smiled back at him gratefully and went away with a wave.

#Abhi's Caravan#

"Maa, please stop talking. There isn't anything between me and Pragya and isn't ever going to be either!"

"Yes there is. You and she are going to be life partners and give me grand kids soon!" Binita spoke in excitement.

"Maaaaaaaa! "

Abhi rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. Ever since his mother arrived on the set, she had been nagging him about Pragya. When he asked her about it, she said that it was because Pragya was her would be daughter-in-law, like it was the most obvious thing ever!

"Maa! She isn't the one I want!"

"Really now? Aliyah has told me everything that has been going on in these days. That's how I know you're much closer to Pragya then before. Don't even try to deny it!"

"But Maa, that doesn't mean that she is the right one for me. Its true that I like her presence and chat with her. But that is something I would do even with a friend!"

"Oh just admit it beta. You love her! And from what Aliyah has observed, she may love you too!"

None of them noticed Pragya come and stand at the door of the caravan. She was about to go talk to Abhi, but paused when she heard Binita's statement.

Abhi got up in anger. "She isn't the one for me! And even if she does love me, I can't love her!"

"Why are you so adamant in refusing to accept Pragya as your future wife? She's beautiful, kind, helpful and what not?"

"Because she's already so broken Maa. Can't you see?!" This made Binita gasp, as well as Pragya who stood outside, speechless.

"Maa, she is already so emotionally broken. How can she be the perfect one for me? Looking at her, I feel like I'm looking at a delicate flower. Sure it is beautiful, but one storm is enough to tear it apart! She's an emotional mess! I can't live with her!"

Pragya placed a fist over her mouth to hold back her sobs. She couldn't believe her ears. She felt angry, embarrassed, insulted...but most of all, she felt hurt.

'After what happened five years ago, I never thought I would fall in love again. Yet, I dared to love you. Yet, I dared to think that you were different. Yet I...Yet I believe that you wouldn't break my trust, that you wouldn't hurt me! I thought you would be the one to rub away my tears. But instead, you became the cause of it. I...I hate you Abhi! I hate you!' without a word, she rushed away from there.

"Eh? What happened to Di?" questioned Bulbul to Aliyah, as she saw her sister run away. She and Aliyah had just come back from the photo studio after giving some of her pictures for a child fashion magazine.

"I don't know Bulbul. Why don't you go ask her Bubble? I'm sure your Di will tell you."

"You're right Aliyah Di! Bye!" Bulbul waved at Aliyah and ran after Pragya. Once Bulbul went away, Aliyah turned to look at the caravan with narrowed eyes. 'If I'm not wrong, that's bhai's caravan. Something's not right.' With this thought in mind, she took quick steps towards the vehicle.

To say Binita was shocked to hear the words flowing out of her son's mouth would be an understatement. She stood there frozen for some minutes. Once the shock broke off, she moved forward and slapped Abhi...hard.

Abhi could only look back at his mother in shock and disbelief. Never had she raised a hand against him. "M-Maa?"

"How dare you say such things about Pragya? How dare you!?"

"I...I only said the truth. Its no-"

"You're rejecting her because she is broken? How cruel can you be!?"

Abhi sighed. "Come on Maa. You know my intention isn't to insult her. But it's the truth. She is in no way perfect."

"So what?! Maybe she isn't perfect, maybe she is imperfect, maybe she is broken! But you have no right to call her weak! Have you even tried to see the world from her view? You call her weak, but she is one of the strongest person I've ever seen!"

"Strong? Why? Because she is trying to earn for her and her sister? That is just her love for her sister. She is too emotional for her own good. She wears her heart on her sleeves. Anyone can break her easily by playing with her feelings."

"Are you calling her weak because she cares to much? Because she loves too much? Then you're a fool Abhi. Nothing but a fool! If she still is able to love you again after being broken and hurt, she is the strongest person for me! Because she has dared to give her heart to you even while knowing that you have the power to break it into a million pieces. Even so, she has dared to trust you with her heart! Do you have the courage?"

"Maa its go-"

"Don't try to tell me otherwise Abhi. Don't think I don't know why you are like this, why you refuse to accept a girl in your life. It's because you fear you will get hurt again. Its because your think that you will become a lifeless body filled without emotions again."

"Maa stop! That's enough." Abhi spoke with a grim face. His mother was beginning to remind him of his past.

"There is nothing more beautiful than a person who has been broken but still believes in love. Pragya is such a person. She makes broken look beautiful and strong look invincible."

Abhi could feel emotions overwhelm him as his past played out in his mind. Nevertheless, he tried to shake off his thoughts. "Your words won't change anything Maa. I only want someone perfect!"

"You're looking for the perfect partner because you want that there is no complication what so ever! So that you're never hurt! So that you can take the easy way out! You're the coward here!"

"So what if I am?! What is so wrong in that? Is it wrong to want to protect myself from the pain of loss? Of heartbreak? Of loneliness?" Abhi spoke, with his voice cracking. "I don't...I don't want to make the same mistake again. I...I don't want to go through all of the pain again Maa. I...I..." Abhi turned away from his mother, rubbing his moist eyes.

Binita's expression softened on seeing Abhi's state. Her own son was suffering as well. It was his own insecurities and fear preventing him from seeing the truth. She went and turned him toward her. "Abhi beta, listen to me. You don't need to fear anything. Pragya isn't someone who will break easily. You said she was like a delicate flower that would easily be destroyed by the storm, didn't you? Yes, it is true. But Abhi, you forgot how much joy it brings to others. Even if it is destroyed, even if someone plucks it away, it doesn't mean that it would stop blossoming again. That is because it loves giving happiness to others. If someone is brutally broken, but still had the courage to be gentle towards others, than they are the most beautiful and strong people on earth."

Abhi looked down in thought at his mother's words. He was slowly realizing his error and the fact that his mother was right. "I'm sorry Maa. I...I guess I was wrong about Pragya."

"Now you realize it, you idiot! If I wasn't sure before, I'm sure now that you got your genes from your father." Binita said with a smile.

"But Maa, this still doesn't mean that I love Pragya. How do you know that its love?"

"Abhi, do you think about her? Do you like being with her all the time? Are you jealous when she pays attention to any other other boy more than you? Do you always feel that you could do anything to make her smile?"

Abhi blinked dumbfounded at his mother. 'How...how did she know exactly how I feel? Yes, indeed I think about Pragya. In fact...in fact, even when I don't want to think about her, she appears in my mind out of nowhere! And as for being with her, each and every moment with her was precious.' Now that he thought about it, he was so used to seeing Pragya everyday, he couldn't imagine a day without her.

'I don't have to worry about her giving other boys any attention as she always gives more to me.' Abhi thought proudly. Although he didn't take into account the fact that he glared and scared away any male member of the crew that came near Pragya. Not to mention he had 'accidently' punched Nikhil one time and made him trip 'accidentally' as well. He did it for his own mirth, and the fact that it made Pragya smile was a bonus. 'I would do anything for her smile. Her smile, her laugh...its so magical.'

From Abhi's dreamy expressions, Binita could say that her words were having its desired effects. "Abhi, if its not love, what else would it be?"

Abhi smiled genuinely at his mother and nodded. However, his smile disappeared after a moment. "But Maa, are...are you sure I won't make the same mistakes again? What if I end up hurting her and myself because of my foolish actions!?"

"You won't. Abhi, forget it. Yes you did a big mistake in the past. But I know you've learnt your lesson. It's time to move on beta."

"But Maa, Tanu wo-"

"Whatever happened with you and Tanu is past. Now, Pragya is your present. Don't waste your time on 'what if's beta. Go and tell Pragya how you feel right now!"

Abhi nodded and rushed out of the caravan, not noticing Aliyah standing right beside the door. Aliyah slowly made her way in and looked at her mother in question. "Why is bhai rushing out so happily? And why did Pragya leave in tears?"

"Eh? Pragya was here?"

"Yes. I saw her go away from the caravan a few minutes ago. Why was she crying?"

Binita smacked herself in the head. "I guess Pragya must have heard only half of Abhi's words. Ugh! This is so troublesome! Let me tell you what happened."

After sometime...

"You're right Maa. This is freaking troublesome!"

"Well...I hope you have some idea to unite them. Whatever you do Aliyah, make sure you get them to confess to each other. I need to leave for home in a few minutes. Just have to meet your father once before I leave."

Aliyah nodded and watched as her mother left the caravan. 'Now, Pragya would be more distant than ever towards bhai. And as for bhai, he will think that she is doing that because she doesn't like him. Ugh! How how how will I ma-......wait a minute! If Pragya is in danger, and bhai is the only one who can save her, then...then she will realize how much he loves her!' Aliyah squealed at the idea. Without delay, she dialed a number. "Hello? Aura drama house? I need some of your best actors!"

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To be continued...

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~ 🌹 Mona 🌹