Chapter 18

       I didn't realise gardening was such a strenuous task when you were doing nothing. Just looking at Aaron was exhausting enough. I had to stop every muscle in my body from moving towards him and the will power it took to stop staring at him was unlike something else.

Come on, Chloe, I have a job to do.

Aaron, dressed in grey joggers and a grey sweatshirt, a typical inmate outfit, hadn't looked up once from the task before him. I watched him plant flowers, I watched him water seeds and cut the grass with precision. I didn't really know what he was doing or what the outcome would be, yet, it was enchanting.

Oddly, the thought of him gardening didn't seem to suit him, but watching it, it did. His big, strong body stood out as he sat cross legged on the floor. In the position, I saw the vulnerability in him, the innocence and the naivety. It made me believe every word he told me.

Could this man really be innocent? If that was so, was he ever going to try and plead his case?

With that, I thought about a world with Aaron in it. Not just Aaron in prison, but him in the real world. I imagined him taking me out for dinner, for a drink, back to his place. I longed for that. I couldn't even imagine what he felt about it.

I wanted to feel hopeful that maybe Aaron I could work on the outside. But I was getting ahead of myself. I didn't know what the next few years held but a part of me wanted him to fight for his innocence, I wanted him to try and get out so we could see what would happen with us.

I knew there was something there, something special, there had to have been. We were effected by each other and it wasn't easy to not feel.

I didn't want to be naive, though.

"Collins." My name was called out by a deep voice. I looked over at the inmate who called me. He had blonde hair, bright blue eyes and was of small build.

"Yes, Daniel?" I questioned. He looked at me with a wry smile.

"I need help." Was his response. He looked to the patch before him. "Do you know how to plant a flower?" He scratched the back of his neck as he looked back at me. He almost looked embarrassed.

Sometimes, this job was comical. A man with a life time of crimes was asking me to help him plant a flower. I could have laughed.

"Sure." I said. I went over to him to look at the damage he had already done. "Have you ever done this before?" It surely looked like he hadn't.

"No." He said. "But I wanted to do something outside." As Daniel was talking to me, I could feel the burning of eyes in to my back.

Really, Aaron? I mentally scolded him.

I bent down to grab the lone plant that needed to be resoiled. "You just need-" before I could speak, I was cut off.

"I'll help him." Aaron said, as his body got closer to ours.

"It's okay, King, Collins has got it."

"She hasn't." Aaron interjected. "She's doing it all wrong." He said as I began to lay the flower in to the hole.

"I am not doing it wrong." I snapped. "See?" I looked at the plant that was tilted almost 90 degrees. Maybe he was right.

"Get up." Aaron demanded.

"Honestly, she's doing an ok job." Daniel said. He was lying, he must have been.

"I'm helping." Aaron came back as he stared at Daniel. He sounded forceful and I got up from my spot, not bothering or daring to argue back.

"He's right. I've done a rubbish job. Sorry Daniel." I looked at him sheepishly. He shrugged.

"Thanks for your help." He said just as Aaron bent down to the ground. Before anyone was allowed to speak another word, Aaron began talking. I hadn't heard him speak more than two words to any other inmate other than Jeff.

Maybe the outdoors was great for him. He seemed a lot more relaxed and talkative. He was still a little standoff-ish and grumpy, though. I doubted that would ever change.

"It's quite simple, really." Aaron said to Daniel. Daniel nodded, really taking in what Aaron was saying.

And again, I found myself not being able to take my eyes off of him.

I stayed sitting on the bench for another half an hour. Everything seemed to be going okay so far and everyone was getting along quite nicely. I was thankful for that, at least. The outdoors really did help these inmates in a lot of ways.

In my daydreaming haze, I hadn't realised Aaron sitting beside me.

"Do you think it's wise sitting next to me?" I said without glancing his way. I wished my body didn't react to him the way it did.

"You worry too much." He said. We spoke quietly, as if what we were saying was top secret, and it was. It was the most worrying secret I had ever kept, that was for sure.

"You can't blame me." I said.

"I don't blame you at all. I don't blame you for stopping it." By it, he meant us.

"You don't?" I questioned.

"No." He leaned back on the bench. "I'm just hoping it's not what you want." His words took a blow within me.

"I wish it wasn't what I wanted." I murmured with a sigh. "You're just very secretive and confusing and-"

"I know." He cut me off. "I'm not right for you in anyway, but I want to be."

"Do you think you'll ever want to get out of here?" I swallowed after asking the question. "You know, because you're innocent." I didn't look at him, but I could feel the heat from his body beside me. I wished we weren't a secret, I would have loved to have jumped in to his arms, feeling his body on mine. At this point, I'd have done anything.

"No one will believe me." He said very quietly.

"But-"

"The cops found me with the gun in my hand." I stopped at his words. "Blood below my feet, a body an inch away from mine." I had so many questions swirling around in my head.

"But, if you didn't do it, why did you have a gun in your hand? Why were you that close to the body?" It seemed almost stupid to me. I didn't understand.

"Chloe." His voice sounded pained. "Do you think we can start again?" He ignored my question with one of his own. I was about to open my mouth. "I want you, I've never denied it, but I want you now more than I ever have."

I was at a loss. I was meant to be staying away from the man. I was meant to have kept a level head. I needed to open my mouth and tell him to get lost. I needed to put a stop to this for good.

But I couldn't.

"You're the only thing that's made my life worthwhile. I haven't wanted to wake up the last two years and now I don't want to close my eyes and miss a minute."

I couldn't speak. I turned to look at him.

"Yes." Was the only word I could let out. I felt suffocated, again.

"Yes?" He didn't look at me but he smiled. His smile was wide and full of joy.

"Yes." I repeated. I let myself smile back.

"Stop looking at me." Aaron said. "You're catching yourself out."

And he was right. No matter how much I liked the man, I needed to keep a level head. No one could know and no one would ever know, I was going to make sure of it.

I had made my bed, and I just needed to lie in it, as quietly as possible.

He made me happier than being without him, even under the circumstances.

I wasn't going to dwell on it any longer.

"I can't help it." And that was the truth. He was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on.

"Neither can I." Aaron flickered his eyes to me for a split second. "But I'm going to keep you safe. No matter what, I need to keep you safe."