used to

despite the fact that i’ve stated to write and think all for myself is that i still find it so hard to do. no one can blame me for still caring. i’ve been living for years writing to satisfy you. i’ve been so used to writing with so much restriction. i’ve been typing words with so much limitations.

this is the only chance i have. and i don’t even know what to do with it. i’m too naïve to know what ‘write freely’ means. no one can blame me. it’s not as easy as a pie to adjust into something i know that is right when i am so used to at doing the wrong one. i am just used to it that i find it hard to fit myself into the new environment i want to be in: growth and maturity.