UN MONDE A NOUS:
a josephine waters story.

❛ how's one to know?
i'd meet you where the
spirit meets the bones... ❜

NATASHA ROMANOFF IS A WEAPON.

She's a loaded gun and everyone around her knows it. She knows it, too; she's never known anything else. They fear her, mock her behind her back, avoid her sharp gaze and leave the room whenever she walks in. She's earned a thousand nicknames and none of them are pretty or kind, but barbed wire digging ruthlessly into the already ruptured image of herself. They talk of a monster, of a bloodied shell of an ex-commie princess who's going to kill them all when they least expect it. Someone who wouldn't regret any second of it, either.

Some days, she thinks they might be right. Few trust her. She's not sure she trusts them back — because kindness is weakness but it is also a powerful weapon that can seduce even the strongest of foes, and why else would someone want to help her but to bring her down? She knows who she is, what she's done, and why. She knows how lucky it is that she still breathes, but that it could be any day when even that luxury is snatched from her.

And some days, she truly believes it should be.

JOSEPHINE WATERS IS A NUMBER.

She's just a stat on a page that gets glossed over and ignored. A 1 in the 304.1 million that represents all American citizens. No value past her name and home. She doesn't work, doesn't leave her home, and she certainly isn't saving the world every other Tuesday. The only people who care about her live in her building, and even then, it doesn't extend much past a passing face in a crappy apartment hallway.

She's nothing. It's perfect. No one cares about her unmade side of the bed, or the breakfast she prepares herself in the morning, or who she kisses goodnight or the names she holds close in her heart. It's a paradise for a lonely, traumatized little girl that still cowers inside of her, and one she would kill to keep safe.

Maybe it's selfish, to avoid humanity. After all, she is one of them, the statistics all remind of her that, so why does she avoid their gaze so desperately? She has the privilege of a gift and she wastes it. She would sooner let the world burn than lift a finger, even if she has the antidote coursing through her veins. Because the world never helped her, so why she should waste her life helping them?

Some days, her choices are harder to bear than others.

THE TOPIC OF HEROES IS A CONTROVERSIAL ONE.

For some, organizations like S.H.I.E.L.D mean safety. They promise that their kids can walk to school and they can drive to work and fall asleep after a long day and not worry about their wellbeing. Some even promise themselves to the cause, declaring that they'll help in whatever way they can to ensure their world remains free and at peace. Others are terrified of the prospect of powered people and billionaires in suits, because it means there are dozens of villains who will do anything to stop them. And they know that in most cases, they are just statistics. Numbers on a page, a 1 in millions that the heroes gloss over and ignore. Their lives and deaths are meaningless, so long as they go towards 'the greater good'.

Natasha doesn't believe she's a hero. She wears the suit and plays the part, but everyone around her knows the truth, that she doesn't really deserve to be here. That maybe she's the real threat, the one who should be locked up and tossed to the darkness.

Jo knows, despite how she denies it, that she could help. That maybe her curse is not so much of a curse but a gift meant to bring hope to a hopeless kingdom. But her villains have left her with nothing but a shadow of her old self, and fighting back feels impossible. She could care less about the rest of the world; they never saved her, so why should she help them?

❛ ...and oh, goddamn,  ❜

...

MY PAIN FITS IN THE PALM
of your freezing hand...

late 2008; pre avengers.
shortly after natasha romanoff
deserted the black widow program
and surrendered herself to s.h.i.e.l.d.
with the help of one clint barton.
a short novella.

TAKING MINE,
but it's been promised to another.

...

https://youtu.be/BUK634gP2aQ

Gifted to me by the illustriously talented goodhYOUman. I'm not deserving of it, but I absolutely adore it nonetheless. I'm in awe. :')

I do not own the rights to Natasha Romanova and his stories within the Marvel Cinematic Universe or in his original comic series'. The rights to those as well as any other comic/cinematic references made in these books go to Stan Lee, Steve Ditko, and everyone else involved with the characters.

However, I do own this plot, all original characters, and all writings done in this book unless otherwise stated. I'd appreciate very, very much if you respected this and looked at this story as something to appreciate, NOT to steal and claim as your own. I'm a tired, bitter old(ish) lady who doesn't have much, and these little books mean a great deal to me. So if I can anyone stealing a word of this book, I'll be filing a complaint with my lawyer (aka, throwing hands & being incredibly passive-aggressive -- and I'd fear that, my skills with the written word in terms of malicious intent are not to be reckoned with).

TW: Please, before you read this, pls read this extra warning. This book has some references to the physical body in terms of weight and its fluctuation. It is in context to the story and it's not in the context of an eating disorder, but it is still there, especially in the first few chapters as you're first meeting Jo. I'm putting this here because I don't want to upset or trigger anyone who is or has dealt with disordered eating of any kind. As someone who has myself, writing this I realised how it could be interpreted and I don't want to say I'm endorsing anything negative. This book does not feature disordered eating, the warning is not in any direct reference to it, but I know it can be connected to that. So, please take care of yourself and if you are not in a place to read this book, I will not judge or be upset. I'd rather you be healthy and happy then suffering because you wanted to read my work. 

The feminine urge to rewrite Natasha's story out of respect to her beautiful character is way too strong these days. Every day my anger towards the straight white losers running Marvel grows. This won't change anything but at least I can control MY version of Natasha.

I've wanted to write a story with 'Ivy' by Taylor Swift for so long. But I didn't really know how to do it, because I didn't want to just steal her concept and slap it on a piece of paper. I also wanted to incorporate some of my love for portrait of a lady on fire into this, and it sort of made a fumble-jumble mess of a angst-ier, saucier version of what I'd normally write.

This is connected to a trilogy, but not in the way you might expect. At least it's supposed to be; we'll see if I get around to writing it, lol. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this little tribute to the love of my life, Natasha. :)

Dedicated to my friends & the people who were excited about this. Which made me very happy because this is the first book I've posted on here that isn't a rewrite...kinda scary, lol. But thank you for the support !!

WELCOME &
enjoy your stay.

PUBLISHED: o1/21/22
COMPLETED: tba.
WORD COUNT: tba.