Hold her still!  I need to get the herb into the wound or it will fester more than it already has.  There, be still little bird, and let Inge do what she needs to fix you.   You are lucky to have arrived when you did.  No one should be out there in this storm.

What are you putting in her wound?  

Asëa Aranion.  It’s the only thing I can think of to heal the bite quickly and stop the infection from spreading.  I’ll need to bathe her with some cool water to lower the fever.  

Kingsfoil?  

Yes.  Some call it athelas.  Now please, both of you leave me alone with her.  You can leave your clothes by the fire to dry, and there’s enough food for you both in the pot.  You might as well be comfortable for this storm is not about to pass quickly.  

Will you call me when she awakes?

She won’t wake for awhile.  The sleeping draught I gave her took care of that.  But there’s something else that no draught or poultice can help.  And only she can heal herself of it.

What is it?

Silence.

What is it, woman?  Tell me.

She’s given up. 

~~~

But Inge was wrong.  

I could not give up now.  Not now, when I knew that Bernd, good-natured fun-loving Bernd, was about to die because of me.  And Jürgen, too - when all the old man wanted to do was save me from the likes of Lialam.  

I did not know what was going to happen next, but what I did know was that I was not the type of woman to simply let go when things seemed hopeless.  Not now.

Not when I’d just held my mother for the last time, held her till she took her last breath and buried her on a hill just south of where I was lying now.  Not after I fought for my life in that cave, clung to the rock face to make my way back to safety.  

And definitely now now - not when every time I opened my eyes I saw Thorin by the side of my bed, sometimes asleep and sometimes holding me down when Inge cleaned the wound on my leg, scraping it clean and applying her healing herbs, boiled almost to a paste.  When I cried from the intensity of the pain that burned through my leg, fearing that Inge would cut it off for that’s what my nightmares told me would happen, Thorin held me close.  I inhaled the smell of him and felt the security of his arms.   It lulled me back to a sleep that soon, even my nightmares could not break through.  

But what nightmares couldn’t breach, the crack of lightning and the roar of thunder did.  I opened my eyes with a start, and looked around, my eyes slowly getting used to the darkness punctuated only by the light of a single candle on the table next to the bed.  For a moment I panicked, wondering if Thorin had left me and I tried to sit up, but sank back down when pain shot through my leg, catching me by surprise.  I had disturbed the wrappings when they caught on part of the scab that had formed over it.

Next to me, slung over a chair, was Thorin’s coat.   I heaved a sigh of relief as I reached out to touch the pelt that graced its collar.  It was soft and thick, the pelt tickling my fingers.

Outside I coud hear the rain coming down hard upon the roof, thunder rumbling through the skies.  The sound of music wafted from the main room and I strained to listen.  Someone was plucking on a harp, the tune of a familiar song filling the air.  It was a sad song.  It spoke a place now gone.  

I remembered that Inge had a harp that once belonged to her father, though she never learned how to play.   I wondered if maybe she had somehow learned how to play it yet had neglected to tell me.

“It’s Thorin,” Inge said quietly.  She startled me but I was glad I did not make a sound as the music continued outside.  She had been sitting in the darkness, probably resting her eyes, but now she got up and sat on the bed next to me.

“How long have I been asleep?”  I asked.  My body still felt tired, as if I’d ran for days and the wound on my leg tingled, though it no longer hurt like it did, feeling as if someone was pulling my leg off.  I wanted so badly to scratch it though but under Inge’s watchful eyes, I knew better.  

“You’ve been here two days,” she replied as she touched my forehead.  “It hasn’t stopped raining since you got here, but at least it’s given you the time to heal.  The kingsfoil helped heal the goblin bite faster than I expected, and the baths calmed the fever.  So I think you’ll live.”

I leaned back on the pillow, feeling my spirits lighten as I saw Inge’s smile.  I loved her wry sense of humor.  It was always something I could count on everytime I had come to visit her, though I’d never once been her patient.  

Yet I couldn’t remember how I had gotten here this time.  My last memory was of Dwalin carrying me over his shoulder just as the rains began.  

“I don’t know how I can ever repay you for saving my life.”

Inge smiled.  “What do you have to repay me for?  You’re my friend.”  

She was a short, plump woman with deep brown eyes and a hook nose who seemed to prefer the company of her herbs and tinctures more than people.  But in reality, Inge did like company, and she doted on my visits with Jürgen whenever the old man had his usual aches and pains, though they were rare, only occuring during the rainy months.  She usually tended to him while I looked through her clay pots and jars, smelling this and that without getting into too much trouble.  Though most times, I came alone, wanting to be outside the town’s high walls.  

I’d known Inge since I was little.  Children my age had always been wary to befriend me, and though I did not know it then, I knew it now.  Ever since learning that Tadd and Jerrel had taken me from Erebor, along with Lialam’s scheme to use my disappearance and my real parents’ desperation in finding me to gain his wealth, it was no wonder why children kept their distance from me.  I remembered Lialam now, always in the perimeter, watching, and telling people that I was his jewel.

Inge had always been different from all the other children, choosing to wander the forest just outside Greenbanü in search of herbs instead of sitting indoors listening to stories.  And since I’d always managed to sneak out of the house whenever Jerrel was sewing or doing a fitting with a customer, I always found myself in Inge’s company.  Soon, we had grown to be good friends.  She was my only friend.

Inge’s mother had been the town healer and having passed on her skill to her only daughter,  they worked together till she passed away the year before.  Her father had been with the ill-fated caravan along with Tadd, Jerrel and Jürgen’s whole family.  Her father’s harp was one of the few things left of his that she treasured above anything else in the world.

“Do you know anything about Jürgen and Bernd?” I asked.  “Are they alright?”

Inge nodded.  “He is well,” she said, her lips set in a straight line.  "Though he has been in the dungeon for the past five days."

“How is he faring?”  I asked, biting my lip.  I hadn’t realized it had been five days since I’d left Greenbanü.  The memory of meeting my real mother again and burying her hours later returned to me and I sighed.  My life had changed completely and I could not help but feel helpless against all the things that were happening beyond my control.

“The dungeon is cold and damp, so his hip was hurting, as it often does when winter comes,” Inge replied.  “As for Bernd, I saw him in the pub last night, though he did not look too happy, even when he had the Janarra twins on either side of him.”

The Janarra twins were about four years younger than I was, and I’d sewn dresses for them in the past.  Most of the time, they tried to find a reason to come to the house to catch Bernd, one twin meeting him in the stables to talk to him while the other twin stayed with me for the fittings.   But I did not want to worry about Bernd right now.  As long as he stayed out of Lialam’s way, he would be fine.  It was Jürgen I wanted to get out of danger first, though I did not know how.  

“So they let you into the dungeon?” I asked, whispering as I tried to get up.  “We need to get him out. I heard Lialam say that he was going to kill him-“

“Shush, calm down,” Inge said as she brought her hand upon my chest, pushing me back down on the bed.  “Thorin told me what you all heard in the forest.  But no one has left the town because of the storm, much less head all the way to Fennhill to give the ultimatum to the dwarves because the roads are flooded.  So even if we get him out now, there is no place for us to go but the forest, and that is choosing death.”  She sighed.  “Dagnar, the jailer, is keeping an eye on Jürgen.  He says because of the storm, Lialam has not even left his residence, nor issued any decrees.  Probably not till this storm passes.” 

“Are you sure?  And what if the storm ends tomorrow?  What if he doesn’t wait for the storm to end?  Do we wait till Jürgen is brought out in a coffin?”

“Then only you know what you need to do,” Inge said sternly.  She pushed a stray strand of hair from my face, sighing as her face softened.  “But no one knows anything anymore, Aleana.  Just as your name is no longer what I’ve always known it to be.  Your dwarf tells me to call you by your real name now.  Frigga.”  She smiled wryly, her hands moving down to check the bandage on my thigh.   

I watched her peel away the cotton cloth covering the wound.  I winced as I remembered how she had scraped the edges of the bite, my screams matching the rumbling of thunder when the storm was at its worst.  I had thought it a dream then and I sighed, glad that I had assumed it as such.  But the pain was now forgotten, pushed away in the darkest parts of my mind.  Inge had packed it with a poultice, which she now pulled out and replaced with a fresh one. 

“He’s not my dwarf,” I whispered as Inge replaced the bandage with a fresh stirp of cloth and wrapped it around my thigh securely.

“Of course he isn’t.  He’s a strong-willed fellow, that prince of yours,” she said, ignoring what I had just said.  “He told me that when you were little, you announced to everyone in the Great Hall that when you grew up, you would marry him.  He thought it charming then.”

“What does he think of it now?” I asked, my face burning with embarrassment.  “I remember how appalled he’d been then when I said it.  Then he was forced to give me a gift after I fell and cut my face so that I’d feel better.”

“Maybe then he minded,” Inge smiled as she looked at me knowingly.  “But I doubt he minds it now.  He cares for you very much, though he does not have to say it out loud.  He hasn’t left this house since he brought you in two days ago, though he sent his companion to get help when there was a lull in the storm.  I only hope Dwalin made it safe. He took one of my fastest ponies.”    

She had tilted her head towards the other side of my bed and when I turned to look, I saw a rolled up blanket and next to it, on a stool, was Thorin’s tunic, folded neatly along with his gauntlets.  

“Sometimes children blurt out things they know nothing about,” I blurted out defensively.

Inge watched me closely, her eyes seeming to see through me as I fidgeted nervously in front of her.  “And sometimes there are those of us who know their destiny long before it comes to them,” Inge said softly.  She was watching me closely, the expression on her face troubled, as if there was more that she wanted to say.  

In the main room, the music from the harp faded, and finally ceased.  Inge glanced at the door anxiously, and turned her attention back to me.

“But there’s something I need to tell you,” she began.  “Remember the last time I visited Dale to sell my herbal oinments and oils?”  

Of course I remembered every one of her visits to Dale, for I’d wanted to go with her each time.  But there was always something that prevented me from doing so.  Usually it was the pile of fabric that needed to be sewn into shirts, tunics and trousers for Lialam or his two wives, or sometimes it was Bernd needing help in the stables, or at the inn where the innkeeper would say that he was short of hands.  I knew now that it had been to keep me away from Dale and Erebor as much as possible, to keep me from being found.  But it was too late to think about it now.  I nodded my head, smiling weakly.

“Remember how I brought back so many magical toys from the craftsmen of Dale and Erebor?  I barely broke even then because there were just too many beautiful things I wanted to take back with me.  But that's not what I wanted to tell you," she continued.  "There was this rare event, a celebration, and all of Erebor and Dale were in the middle of the most lavish of festivities.  You should have seen it.”

I did not say anything.  I only wished Inge would continue instead of halting like she did, my curiosity peaked and the feelings of jealousy growing.  How I would have wanted to have been there, too.

“I saw your prince for the first time then,” Inge said slowly, watching me carefully.  “He was so handsome in his midnight blue tunic and its golden clasps, and the pelt over his shoulders was so luxurious I wanted to reach out and touch it when he walked past me.”

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling, the excitement in Inge’s voice capturing my imagination.   How I wish I could have been there, I thought again.

Inge fell silent as we both heard a chair being pushed back from outside, the lone twang of each harp string filling the air as if Thorin was now checking each one.  

“Then what?” I asked impatiently.

Inge sighed.  “Erebor was celebrating something important.  I only heard it from one of the dwarf women from whom I bought that pendant I gave you when I returned.  But she didn’t have to tell me everything because I saw what she meant when Thorin walked past the crowd.”

“Saw what?”

“I want you to be careful, Aleana.  Things may not be what they seem.”

“What are you trying to tell me?”  

“I’m only telling you what I saw and what I heard, nothing more.  It was a betrothal celebration, Aleanna.  I’m sure of it,” Inge whispered.  “All of Erebor was celebrating the betrothal of Thorin and the dwarf-woman from the Iron Hills.  Her name, I remember now, was Máni.”

Moon.  That’s what the name meant, I thought, as I stared at her, seeking any hint that she was lying.   But there was no deception on Inge's face.  She only looked troubled, and I felt myself turn pale.  “Are you certain of this?  Without a doubt?”

Inge nodded.  “She was beautiful.  I always thought that you would have loved to see her dress, so ornate and glistening with jewels.  You could not miss it for the trumpets sounded throughout the valley between Erebor and Dale to announced the arrival of the prince and his betrothed.  By the time I made it to the front of the crowd, Thorin and Máni walked past me towards the long walkway leading back into the gates of Erebor, her arm hooked around his.  I remember it because it was the first time I’d ever seen anyone from the line of Durin with my own eyes.”  Inge began to pick on a piece of imaginary lint from the dress that I wore, one of hers that she’d lent me.   "They were to be married on Durin's Day, but  until then, she returned to the Iron Hills to await him." 

"Durin's Day is two months from now," I said, remembering how the day was widely celebrated in Erebor when I was young.  "But I don't understand.  Most of the dwarves traveled to the Iron Hills and he could have gone with them.  But why is he traveling south?  Is she traveling with him?  Is she among the dwarves in the encampment?"

Inge shook her head, not knowing what to say for I was merely speaking my thoughts out loud.  I searched my mind for answers, trying to see if I could remember a face among the many dwarves I had met when I was at the camp yet I only saw my mother's and Arna's.  Surely she must have been there, I thought.  She would have traveled with Thorin south if she was his betrothed.  She would have had to follow him.  Even when he had nothing but an empty title.

We were both silent for a few minutes.  All I heard was the pulse beating between my temples, the rumbling of thunder overhead as the rain continued to beat down upon the roof.  I felt my face begin to burn, the memory of what happened in the cave coming back to me.  

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I asked.  “You told me so many things about that visit.  You brought back so many trinkets, yet you never spoke of this.”

Inge shrugged.  “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you then, and I’m sorry.  Should I have known what I know now - the way he looks at you and the way you called for him when your fever was at its worst - I wish I would have told you then.  I don’t know what to think anymore, Aleanna.  Hasn’t he told you of his betrothal at all?”

I shook my head, though when I answered her, anger slowly crept into my voice.  “Why should he tell me?  I’m only a seamstress.  I am nothing.”

Just then, the door opened and Thorin stepped inside.  I gripped Inge’s hand as she prepared to rise up from the bed.  I could not bear to look at Thorin right now, not when all my body wanted to do was hold him and feel him against me, ignoring what Inge had just told me.  No, I could not allow myself to forget what I had just heard.  

“Please let  him leave,” I whispered, realizing as I held Inge’s hand that I was trembling.  “I need some time to think.”

Inge nodded and got up.  As I lay back down on the bed, turning away from the door, I heard her speak to Thorin in hushed tones, asking him to leave.  She told him that I was not yet well, that I needed to rest.  She told him that she’d just given me a sleeping draught so that I’d sleep through the night.

“I can stay with her,” he protested, his baritone voice filling the room and making me long to hear him speak only to me.  “Just like I’ve done the last two nights.”

“Not tonight,” Inge said sternly.  “Tonight, I will keep her company and it’s your turn to rest.  Tomorrow will be a busy day if you plan on taking her with you to Fennhill.”

She must have gathered his blankets and handed it to him for I heard her footsteps behind me, the scrape of the chair where Thorin’s tunic had been.  I felt his presence close to me, as if he stood just alongside the bed for a few moments before Inge finally ushered him out.  

I did not move, choosing to lie still long after the door shut behind them.  I knew Inge would take her time in returning into the room to stay with me, giving me the time to think and mull over what she had just said.  

I hated myself for what happened between Thorin and I, for feeling the way I did towards him, making me forget the ones who were really important - the ones who had truly cared for me.  Worse, who was I to think that Thorin was mine?  That he cared for me as if I were his when he already had someone else named so beautifully after the moon?  

How foolish and childish could I have been to believe that such things as love could really happen to the likes of me?  I ran my fingers against the scar along the side of my face, feeling the wetness of my tears that followed its path.  

It had always boiled down to this, I thought, the scar a constant reminder of a charmed life changed forever.   And here I was now, years later, lying in a healer’s cottage at the edge of the woods, hiding from her fate.  But no more.  I was sick of hiding in the shadows, lurking in caves, and stealing moments of pleasure as if they were mine to keep.  

This time, I got up, relieved that Inge wasn’t in the room to stop me and push me back onto the bed.  She had folded my clothes on the bedside table, and at the foot of the bed were my boots.  With only the light of the flickering candle, I slipped off the nightdress Inge had loaned me and slowly got dressed with my own clothes that she had somehow freshly laundered.  Though my muscles still ached from my long sleep, each movement became less painful as my muscles regained its memory, my actions turning more fluid with each passing minute.

Something crashed somewhere outside and ponies whinnied in the distance.  I heard the front door open and shut.  When I peered through the window, I saw Inge and Thorin hurry towards the barn.  Still, I kept on going, slipping one boot over one foot and then the other.

It felt like forever and sweat gathered upon my brow as I finally tightened the straps to my boots and stood up.  I knew what I needed to do now, all distractions - or rather my one distraction - finally pushed aside.  I took a deep breath and walked towards the door, pulling it open.  

The living room was empty though a fire burned in the hearth.  The harp that Thorin had just played leaned against what used to be Inge’s father’s chair.  Thorin’s sword and scabbard was behind the door though mine was nowhere to be seen.  But I was not going out to slice anyone tonight, I thought.  I only needed to bargain for someone’s life and do what I should have done a long time ago.

I walked towards Inge’s back door and stepped out in the rain.  It was dark and the raindrops glistened in tiny lights as it came down, drenching me though I did not care.  Water flowed in tiny streams along the paths now long gone from the rain.  But I knew that I was not going to get lost.  All I had to do was walk towards the pair of oil lamps hanging from the main gate that would take me into beyond the gates of Greenbanü. 

For no matter what Lialam had planned for me, it was time to bargain with him, and stop hiding from my fate.  And as I pounded on the gate, I heard shouts in the distance behnd me, calling my name.  I dared to look back just as the gate was pulled open and a hand reached out to grab me, yanking me through the massive doors.  

I pulled my eyes away from the sight of Thorin running towards me in the distance and looked up to see Edgard's cold face, a sneer upon his mouth.  

"Hello, little dwarf-bride," Edgard said, grabbing me by the throat as he shut the gate behind us.