Chapter IX ✠ To Dust
Una could not sleep, not until she could understand why the Gods would punish her so severely. They had ripped everyone away from her, including her best friend. No one was safe from her, Una thought. There had to be a reason why this has happened, and this had to be stopped.
Una decided that Marged and Darren would be laid together on the cremation alter. Darren was supposed to be immediately cremated after the celebration of his life, but there was no celebration. Everyone thought he was a traitor, leaving his rightful home to pursue his birth home with the dreaded Danes. Slave or soldier, there was little respect for Darren after people learned of his betrayal. He was going to leave Snowdonia, his child, and his wife. If he had not acted foolishly, he would have been alive. Marged didn't even know of his betrayal. No one told her, only that he had been killed.
Una was one of the few that came to the burn alter to cremate the two. Yvar, of course, came to see Una, and there was Aelwyd to pay her respects. Una was shocked not to see Aaron, especially considering that Darren was too close to him. There were a few soldiers that came. They weren't very close to Una, though.
Darren's body was severely distended, so they had to cover his entire body in silk linen. The air was putrid with the scent of decay, but at least his wife could be sent off with him to their final and rightful home. Una lit the torch and walked up to the altar, lighting five points that circumnavigate the large stone. There were animal fats weaved into the hay and twigs to allow the large limbs of trees to catch. Una watched as they were slowly set ablaze.
Una felt overwhelmed and dropped the torch. She walked away from the altar, feeling too many unsavory emotions.
"Una!" Yvar called out to Una as she scampered into the woods.
She collapsed on her knees and fell forward, her hand covering her mouth so no one could hear her cry. Her gold headpiece slipped off of her head, and her embellished necklaces became tangled. She didn't care. She didn't want to see anyone at the moment. She just wanted to be alone. She almost felt anger when she felt the gentle hand of Yvar being placed on the back of her shoulder. He kneeled next to her, careful not to step on her elaborate purple and green silk robe.
"Una..." His voice trailed off.
Una looked up. His vibrant baby blue and green eyes reflected the pillar of fire in the distance. He stared at her with so much sympathy that it made Una feel even more despair. Suddenly she began to smell the putrid stench of burning hair and skin. They reminded her of some of her battles when the thatching of houses was set ablaze and people trapped inside burned. Una felt herself convulse, and she quickly jumped up and plunged herself over a bush where she profusely vomited. She hadn't thrown up like this since the last time she got drunk a few years ago. Una was puking from her grief and pain. It was so overwhelming that she felt ill.
After she emptied all the contents of her stomach, her body still made her dry heave, which worried Yvar. He stood up and helped Una walk to a clearing in the woods.
"Thank you. I felt a bit faint." Una laughed, trying to make light of her condition.
Una looked up at Yvar. He was emotionless. He walked in front of Una and sat down in the grass. Una followed and sat in front of him. The light of the ever-brightening moon made his long side braid look silver in this light. He looked like he was glowing in his long white cloak, but nothing was darker and lamenting than his words and tone. Yvar was one of the few men that Una knew could bring the joy out of any situation. Una was like this, but Yvar was exceptionally skilled. This was the first time she has seen Yvar so severe.
"Forgive me for the asking, but what has happened, what is happening?" He said in a low tone, something she never imagined that Yvar could utter.
Una felt her tear ducts burn again. She was tired of crying. It was her last defense, and now that is all Una feels like she is doing.
"I... I don't know." Una said, barely getting out a word.
Yvar leaned forward and stared at Una with no contempt.
"I feel like the Gods are punishing me," Una said with a single tear escaping before she wiped it away.
"I don't believe that is true," Yvar said.
"They are. The Gods are giving me signs and omens." Una said, looking down at her clasped hands on her lap.
"Are you sure they are from the Gods, not your own projections?" Yvar asked in all seriousness.
"When I was five, the Prophetess said I was a bandrui. Since then, everything I have envisioned has come true."
"What have you envisioned then?" Yvar was trying hard to distract Una from her incinerating friends.
"I saw turbulence. I saw death. Everyone I have ever loved had perished. All that is left is my sword and my dreadful dream." Una said with her eyes shut.
"What you are saying to me sounds like you have traded your sword and your dream for their lives. The Gods have no part in this. They are watching to see if you are willing to risk it all to achieve the impossible." Yvar said.
Una's head snapped back up. She looked at Yvar, scanning his words carefully in her head. Could what he had said be true? She had left everyone to pursue her dream and used her sword to encourage and facilitate these dreams in others. This allowed her imagination to come to fruition. Her goal was to confront the Dane that killed her father. She would only decide to kill him if she sought fit. In fact, Una didn't want to kill him, so everyone around her perishing made little sense to her.
"You needed these people out of your life to create this reality. That is why this has happened. They were no longer needed." Yvar said with no emotion.
"How could that be? I have not prayed to the Gods to destroy my loved ones!" Una said, looking away.
She could still smell the hair. The pungent scent was still lingering.
"You asked the Gods to help you vanquish your enemies, and they did by removing them from your path."
"Marged was not my enemy, and neither was Darren!" Una's voice raised.
"Marged was with child, and you were infatuated with Darren." Yvar's voice grew quiet.
"How would you know!?" Una asked, confused.
"Like you, as a child, I was ordained as a bandrui. Druid or not, anyone could see that these were facts, and these were hindrances on your abilities."
Una felt insulted and small. She had never been talked down to by anyone, for she did nothing to deserve the act. Now Yvar, of all people, was telling her that her own lust and hatred blinded her.
"So, tell me that the real reason this is happening is that you still wish to avenge your father."
Una bit her lip. He saw right through her. It couldn't be a coincidence. Perhaps Yvar was sent by the Gods to help Una. She had never seen him in this light before.
"I do, but the people I love didn't have to die for it!" Una said hesitantly.
"Well, in most cases, you have to remove the stones from the path you wish to take. Whether it be real stones or men, you decide if you move them or not. Obviously, you have many stones on your path, and you have just removed the little ones. These are the little pebbles that are so tiny, yet they get lodged in your boot, and you can't walk properly. These are the ones that bring out the traits in you that you despise. Jealousy, anger, mistrust, sexual arousal...need I go on." Yvar was breaking Una down.
Una just batted her eyelashes in disbelief. She had no idea that Yvar was even capable of understanding others. He was always so quiet and methodical, but also so very kind. Una almost felt insulted by his words.
"Yvar, I... What should I do? What can I do to stop this?" Una asked in earnest.
Yvar looked off to the side. The moonlight made him look like illuminated ripples in the ocean with his silver hair and white robe.
"Well, you could continue on the path you're on. The Gods do not judge. We do as people. Or you could change your course and go down an unknown path. You may not see where you are going, but you will eventually come to your destination. The beauty of the unknown path is that you get to create your own and get to weave around the nasty rocks in the way. It may take more time, but if you wish to see more blood on your hands, then let fate take you as it is now."
"No," Una said.
Yvar turned back around, his eyes furrowed.
"No more death, I've had enough!"
Yvar's eyes relaxed again.
"Then you must let go of this dream, or you may find other means of getting to it," Yvar said with concern.
Una thought deeply. She pondered how she could get around, having had conquered each neighboring kingdom but the northernmost one, the Viking settlement. A settlement full of Danes. Once Una takes this city, she knows she has avenged her brother. Then she would establish an army to go east into the Saxon lands before attacking the lands that Frey's father controlled. Then it hit her, why not use Frey to help this. There is no need for bloodshed if she could get Frey to convince his people to cease their weapons, and she too would stop. Una hated to kill after all.
"Frey!" Una said in a jovial voice for the first time in a long while.
"Who?" Yvar said, his eyes gleamed.
He recognized this foreign name as the name of a Dane like he once was.
"Who is this 'Frey' you speak of, Una?" He asked, his tone reaching a spirited octave higher this time.
"He's...a friend," Una said hesitantly.
"You mean the guy you threw in the paddock, right?" Yvar said with his voice low again.
"The very same," Una said quietly as she couldn't lie to Yvar. He would know right away.
"What do you plan on using him for?" Yvar said, standing up now.
He dusted off his long white cloak. The fire had died down to about half. He could see that the bodies had been reduced to ash as there was nothing visible atop the alter. The only thing burning was the logs surrounding the fire altar.
"He will bring me peace and the multitude of people we encounter," Una said happily as she stands up.
She didn't need to pray to the Gods this time when their messenger was here before Una, allowing her to sort her thoughts out straight. Suddenly, Una remembered Darren and Marged as if she would tell them the good news she used to. She felt her face sink, and she stood there barely blinking.
"That's the Una I used to know." Yvar walked close in front of Una.
He reached out his hand and grabbed her chin, and he planted a kiss in the middle of her forehead where her gold headpiece used to sit. He released her with a smile and walked off, leaving Una standing there with her eyes wide. A boy had never kissed her before. It was forbidden for a man to touch her affectionately before her union day. It was strange since they encourage promiscuity in the lower echelons, and yet since Una was the princess, she had to wait until she was married off to a man who probably had many wives. She blushed and looked down at her bare feet. She may have lost many of her loved ones, but she hadn't lost everyone. Yvar was there for her till the very end, and Una knew this very well. Yvar will be Una's sword, and Frey will be Una's dream fulfilled.
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