Chapter 32

Miles is calling...

My forehead creased when that popped out of my screen. We haven't talked to each other for like two weeks since I left Bangkok. I never really got to say goodbye to them properly since things didn't go well at that time so I thought I just had to go everything my way. Baka kasi kapag ipinaalam ko pa, mas lalo pa akong hindi maka-move on.

I'm hesitating whether to answer her call or not. I'm clinging more on the side of dropping his call rather than accepting it. I feel like I just wanna cut ties to anyone back in Bangkok since everything there went wrecked. I just couldn't forget how it all happened.

The first week in Bangkok seems to be enjoyable and the latter weeks basically breaks my heart.

But then I ended up accepting his call. I took a deep breath as piling up some courage in my head, but I still don't have an idea how this would end.

I swallowed hard before speaking, "hello?"

"Andrew?" panimula nito. "Andrew? You're there?"

"Uh... yes. Hello, Miles..." Nakangiwi ako. He may not see this, but clearly, I'm not comfortable talking to him since he's close to the person who chose to break my heart—well, not really, but that's just the way I feel it.

"Yes! Hello, Andrew! Good thing you answered the call!" masigla nitong tugon. "How are you? How's everything back there in Manila?"

"Uh... everything's good naman. I am good."

"I'm glad to hear that," he responded. "It's so good to hear your voice though. I thought we won't be able to talk again after you leave Bangkok without saying goodbye."

"Yeah, my bad. I'm sorry for not saying anything, but you know, I had to deal with something personal so I'm sorry if I didn't say my goodbye to you guys."

"Oh, of course, I understand. You don't have to apologize to me. Heikenz just told us you left and there it is. But that's not what I call you to talk about why you left Bangkok without saying a word. This is a different thing. But I'm still happy we're talking. We're cool, right? We're friends?"

"Uh... sure..."

"Okay... ito na seryoso na talaga," aniya. He cleared his throat as if he would state another serious thing to say and I'm not sure where this is heading. "I just wanna tell you that Heikenz left for states. I know you know about this... I just wanna tell you about it."

"Uhm... why are you exactly telling me this information? I know he'll be leaving today, I haven't forgotten that. But why would you tell me about it since we don't have any communication anymore? Like I'm not a part of his life anymore?"

"I know... my bad, I'm sorry. I feel like I just need to say it to you. You and Heikenz still made memories with each other so..."

"I have to say that it's just a week."

"Huh? What week? You've been here for a month, right?"

"What I'm saying is... the first week was the only genuine thing to ever happen in Bangkok and the latter weeks seems not a good thing to remember. Let's just say, I was there, but I'm not totally present there. It's like I'm just a mere ghost there waiting to be stashed away by a priest."

"I really felt bad how you guys went from being friends to strangers. You guys were like a song of Celeste."

"Uhm... Miles... is that you're all gonna say?" I asked.

"Yeah, Andrew. Heikenz officially left Bangkok to pursue his dream."

"I think that's what he really wants so we cannot argue about that," I said. "He can do whatever he wants there. Do all the things he wasn't able to do in Thailand. He's alone and got all the time. I'm sure he's happy that he'll be living a new life there. For me, I hope he can find someone who understands and... love him there. I know it won't be a problem for him. He's lovable."

"You are, too, Andrew..."

"Just not what we thought would go," I added. "Miles, I really have to go now. I'm out with someone right now. But thank you for telling me this about Heikenz, I hope he'll be happy there in Louisiana. Take care, Miles."

"You, too, Andrew. Take care and I hope to see you soon again."

When I dropped the call, sakto namang dumating ang kasama ko na nanggaling lamang ng bathroom. I smiled when our eyes met and I didn't expect that I'll finally be comfortable around him when I'm so sure of myself that I'm never gonna turn myself back open back into a relationship—or maybe... I don't know.

"Are you ready to go somewhere?" he asked, smiled widely at me. He wrapped his arm over my shoulder and I just nodded at him. "Who you were talking to?"

"Oh... a friend of mine in Bangkok."

He pressed his lips together, nodding his head. "E, okay... I thought you weren't talking to them anymore?"

"I haven't, but he just did. Don't worry, you don't have to be jealous about it. We're just friends."

"Friends? Are you sure?" he asked.

I determinedly nodded at him. "Yeah, just friends. What are you thinking? That I'm gonna hook up with Miles who has a husband? I don't think that's not gonna happen and I'm far from doing that kind of thing. It's just not me."

"Well, some couples like to have a threesome with someone," he reasoned. "They thought that it was more pleasurable to explore with another man. Do you think you'll be able to end up on a threesome?"

I chuckled. "I was about to when we travel to Europe two years ago. There's a straight couple there and they were just looking for someone who can make their sexual activity extreme and strange and that's hooking up with a third person. That was about to happen, but I got bad diarrhea so nope. Never happened. Have you?"

He shook his head. "Not with sex, but with a kiss. Just made out and nothing goes more than that. It was a party and it's a dare. We're just kissing simultaneously and you know, that was fucking hard. I was so hard that night that I had to excuse myself just to release it in the restroom. Good thing they didn't suspect a thing, but that's something I wouldn't forget."

My mouth was just left hanging open. "You kept on surprising me, Mister Hadaj." Ngisi ko pa.

"Well, that's what you get when you're dating someone like me, but I can assure you that I won't be kissing anyone, but you."

I giggled. "Likewise, Mr. I didn't expect we'll be at this moment, but here we go. It all started on the plane and now we're dating like as if this doesn't start on an awkward situation on the plane."

"Well, you're the awkward one," he pointed. "I'm not. You're the one who's ignoring me." I gasped at what he said. "Oh! Don't say you didn't because you were. But I like how things go well with us. I thought you're just gonna ignore me and about to waste the opportunity to know me, but I'm glad you replied to my text."

"Rebound lang talaga kita," I joked and he squinted his eyes on me like he's judging on me. Dahan-dahan naman niyang nilapit ang mukha niya sa akin. He then slowly put his lips on my neck and then he just bite it. Tumiklop naman kaagad ako sa ginawa niya at bahagya ko siyang itinulak palayo sa akin. "Joke lang! Don't take it seriously, Tim."

Napangisi na lamang ito. "I know... let's just go somewhere na?"

I nodded. "Just not to a club. Masyado pang maaga to go clubbing."

He smirked, shrugging off. "Well, I cannot promise that."

He grabbed my hand and then we just headed somewhere else. He's sweet and nice. I thought he'll be like other guys who will only hook up with me and then not talk to me again—like ever, but it wasn't the outcome that happened. It was more than that.

Tim Hadaj and I are dating exclusively and we just knew each other roughly for two weeks and it's kind of an amazing feeling how we got comfortable with each other. When he messaged me first, I felt like ignoring him and entertaining him would just be a waste of my time. But Caro, the one who always pushed me to guys who won't give a shit about me.

Surprisingly, Tim gives a shit about me.

Hey there, Andrew. This is Tim Hadaj... the one who was seated next to you on the plane. Wanna talk?

That was his first message to me. It was the next day after I came back to the Philippines. I know in myself that I would never settle again for less and that I don't have the luxury to whatever shit he's into right now. Akala ko nga no'n, he's straight and all, but then on the past few days we've got to talk about, he dated girls first then boys and never go back to girls.

I thought he's bisexual, but he admitted that he's gay. He came out to his friends a year ago and said that if they leave him alone because of his sexuality, at least he did the right thing. The outcome was good for him. His friends supported him and eventually, his family. And then I remember, that was actually the opposite thing that happened to Heikenz. He has no friends back in Krabi and his parents don't really understand what he's going through that's why coming back to them was hard for him.

He made friends in Bangkok with people who understands and supported him.

Well, at first, I was actually scared of coming out and Caro and Cely would only know a thing about my sexuality—and those foreign guys I hooked up with. And eventually, I had to come out to my family which went so well—thank goodness.

Kabadong-kabado ako no'n. I thought it would be the end of me at mapalalayas na ako ng bahay, but their terrifying response almost gave me a heart attack. They do understand my situation and my choice in life. I'm happy that I was able to do things on my own and what I want in life.

I'm kind of sad how it all ended up for Heikenz. And... why would I keep thinking about him?

"Where do you think we should go first?" Tim asked.

I shrugged off. "Maybe we should go get some coffee? Tea? What do you want?"

"I want some Tea-Tea if that's what you mean." Ngisi pa nito at kindat sa akin. Nilapit pa nito ang mukha niya sa akin at pasimple akong hinalikan sa leeg ko. I tried pushing him a little away from me dahil baka makita kami ng ibang tao. "Do you also want my Tea-Tea?"

"Baliw ka, Tim," komento ko pang natatawa. "But let's just go somewhere else..."

I don't know what else I would be doing with Tim, but the fact that I'm happy and he's happy and that we're genuine with each other's feeling is what matters to me now. It may lead to something great or not, but this is far from what I have with Heikenz.

The difference between them, Heikenz was only good at the first week and completely ignored me for the rest of the weeks while Tim is kind and nice to me and shows much more appreciation. Though he's half Arab—like Omar, but Omar's straight so there's a difference between them once again. Tim hasn't been in any Arab countries because he knows there's too much restriction over gay people there so it's not a place he would recommend going to.

He went to Thailand for a vacation and was literally looking for hook-ups there, but finding no one. Luckily, he found me way back home. I guess... what happened at that moment in Bangkok is something I wouldn't totally forget.

***

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