My personal favorite <3 ;)

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The only thing Joey could think about after he came back from the hospital was to get laid. That's right. He wanted love. Needed it, rather. 

After an unintentional failed attempt, he felt like giving up. He felt like a total failure and a messed up guy. Opportunities and chances were thrown into his face. Yet he managed to mess it up.

He locked himself in his house, and went to an online dating website and searched for a nice young lady.

Smara Thompson - 43 

Too old. Plus she has a zit, he thought.

Rufli Veena - 20

Too young.

Merlyn Davis - 34

Perfect!

He phoned her up.

"Hello, " a female voice answered.

"Merlyn Davis?" Joey asked.

"Yes, who's this?"

"Joey Millers. I found you on a dating website."

"Ah I see. I charge $500 dollars," she said.

Joey's jaw dropped. Five hundred? Where would he go for that money?

"Hello?" 

"Okay. I'll meet you in ten."

"Can't wait."

Joey pondered about what to do about the money. He went to his food stash and took the remaining balance out. He had six in total. Deciding to starve for a couple of days, he got into his car, and drove.

Ding dong.

A beautiful looking woman answered the door. She looked at Joey questioningly.

"Er, I'm your one night stand for today," he replied. 

"Right. Follow me, " Merlyn said, sashaying her hips. Joey got a little excited.

"You wouldn't mind helping me out with a little bit of chores will you, " she asked Joey huskily.

Totally smitten by her, Joey nodded.

Merlyn turned on the music, and danced as she mopped the floor. Joey helped do the dishes, while dancing along with her. 

"So, Joey, what do you do?" she asked him.

"Oh, I'm a bartender," he replied. What? He couldn't believe he just lied. It rolled off his tongue like that.

"Where?"

"Downing Street," he replied. Worried she would ask him more questions, he leaned towards her and kissed her. 

Merlyn politely pushed him away and told him to go the room upstairs, and wait for her. 

Joey smiled slyly at Merlyn. Very excited now, he ran upstairs.

Merlyn looked at him from the back and rolled her eyes. Men, she thought, in disgust.

Joey follwed Merlyn's directions and went to the first room on the right. 

He closed the room gently behind and looked around. The walls were decorated in hot pink, and the room was surprisingly neat. To the right was a desk and a personal computer. The left had a big bookshelf filled with encyclopedias. 

Feeling very impatient, he stripped down completely and lied on the bed on his side, his hand on his head. It took another LONG five minutes before he heard the sound of footsteps. He smoothened the bed, and looked at the door in anticipation.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, " Joey yelled, trying to cover himself as much as possible.

Standing at the door way, was a young boy in his twenties. What was startling was that he didn't seem the least bit surprised.

"Oh please. It's just me. Don't be afraid, " the boy said.

"Who are you? Where's Merlyn?" Joey sqeaked.

"Oh, I'm Utopia. She's downstairs. She's the house maid, " Utopia said, casually.

"Maid?" Joey stammered. "But her name and picture was on the website."

"Oh, but that's just a cover up. If you had read properly, it said GAY man. I let her borrow my date for the first few minutes, and I get to have him for the rest of the day."

Joey got up from the bed and turned around to wear his pants. He gazed at a protrait on the wall. It looked vaguely familiar.

"Oh that's Markett, incase you couldn't recognize him," Utopia helpfully offered.

Joey fumed. Why was that buffalo following him everywhere? He had faced yet ANOTHER humiliation at the hospital. Markett boasted to everyone in the hospital that his ten year old neice played better than him in basketball. 

"Will you stop-" Joey stopped mid-sentence.

"NO. No way," Joey staggered, as he saw Utopia removing his belt. 

"Want to do it for me," he asked, winking.

"NO!"

"Oh, come here, baby," Utopia purred, as he stripped, and lied down on his bed. 

"No!" Joey said again. He stood rooted, terrified.

Utopia sighed. "Fine if you're going to be hard about this," he said, as he got up from his bed, and walked towards Joey.

"Don't come near me," Joey said, walking backwards.

"That's the best part, " Utopia whined.

Utopia continued walking towards him and shouted, "BOO!"

Joey cried out loud as he struggled to open the locked door and raced out the door. 

Utopia and Merlyn stood outside the door laughing as they saw Joey run down the block shirtless, and his trousers falling down. Utopia counted the money Joey had given Merlyn. He gave 20% to her, and took the rest back to his room. Yet another conquest, he thought, evily. 

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