I wake with a jolt as the nightmare plays on repeat in my head. My body is so sweaty I have to throw the covers off to cool down. I take giant deep breaths to try and calm myself. Usually it's mom leaving, but this time each one of my friends leave too. The dream is about the day she left. This time after she leaves, my friends follow after and evaporate into nothingness.

I scrub hard on my face trying to get the image from my mind. My phone beeps and I swipe it off the bedside table to look at it. It's my first text from anyone after last night's party.

Tanya: Hey girl, be ready in ten. We're coming to get you!

I was so wrapped up in my nightmare I almost forgot today was our Saturday trip to the mall. I'm not a girl who likes to shop, but I do it to stay up with my image. If I suddenly decide that I don't want to go to the mall on Saturdays, I worry that they will abandon me. It's ridiculous to assume, but I'm terrified of losing everything I've built here.

With no time to prepare I tug at my greasy red hair and pull it into a high pony. I attempt to mask any unwanted odors by brushing my teeth, using deodorant, and spritzing myself with tons of my favorite Bath & Body Works scent.

Tanya beeps her horn from the driveway. I don't have time to look cute and plan the perfect outfit, so I throw on my dark blue ripped jeans, and a black t-shirt. I'm a mess, maybe I should cancel.

I wait for the girls to say something about my look as I get into the car, but they stay quiet. Rose sits in the backseat, and even on this gloomy winter day she's got her Chanel shades over her eyes. Her mouth hangs open like she's half- asleep or still drunk.

"What's up with her?" I point to the backseat.

"Hangover from hell," Rose groans.

"Guess I missed one hell of a party." I don't mean for it to come out with a bit of attitude, but neither of them seem to notice.

Rose moans. "Yeah. Where were you anyway?"

Tanya pulls out of my driveway as I contemplate telling them the truth.

"With my dad like I said," I say.

"What did you and your dad do? We were waiting for you to show." Tanya cuts in.

I want to make a comment about not getting any texts, but I bite my tongue.

"I got to meet the lead singer of Charlotte Rising, remember that local band that blew up?"

"Did they have the drummer that died?" Rose asks.

I glance at her over my shoulder. "No, that was Spinning Grace."

Another local band on the verge of making it called it quits after the death of their drummer. It was all over the news a few years ago.

"My dad knew people and it was pretty cool. I got to sing on stage with them."

Tanya peeks over at me and takes in my appearance as we stop at a red light. "That's cool girl, you got pictures?"

I hesitate, but figure there's no harm in showing my pictures with Joey. I scroll through while we wait for the light to change. I go too far and notice a shot that my dad had taken.

"Who's the guy? He looks familiar," she questions, as the light turns green.

"Oh, that's Flint Rogers, his band won the competition. Joey invited me on stage, and it was cool."

For a split second Tanya's eyes catch mine. "Flint Rogers, he's the guy that..."

Rose leans forward between the front seats. "Got caught under the bleachers with his pants..."

"Okay, that's enough Rose." I hold my hand up.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Rose lifts her glasses and glares at me through the mirror.

"Just forget it." I sigh and put away my phone. "What about you guys, how was the party?" I attempt to change the subject.

The car goes dead silent. Tanya scowls at Rose in the rearview mirror as if they're discussing something private between them. I try not to gaze at either of them, afraid it will reveal whatever secret they are hiding. Maybe it's better that I don't know. Tanya's jaw tightens under the weight of the elephant in the car. She's about to open her mouth, but doesn't have a chance as we pull into the mall parking lot. Jogging over to the car is Cam, Pete, and a few of their buddies.

"It was the same old party, nothing to report." Tanya breaks the silence. She shoots Rose one last glare as she parks the car.

"I forgot to mention, the boys are coming for lunch," Tanya says.

"It's cool," I reply, glancing back down at the picture of Flint and I from last night. Reliving the moment brings a smile to my face, and it's hard to hide.

Cam bangs on the passenger window and the memory evaporates. I tug the door open and step out beside him.

"Good Morning, beautiful." He smiles, but it feels forced.

"Hey." I say it more like a question.

With his body angled away from me, he leans in. The only thing I feel are his lips pressed against mine. There's not a single flutter or hint of passion behind it. His body is slack and he doesn't bother to reach out to pull me closer. I'm the first to end the kiss. He gives a quick smile, then turns back to his friends, as if the kiss never happened.

I pause for a moment watching them walk towards the mall. I wait for him to turn and look over his shoulder, but he doesn't. Sucking in a shaky breath, I count to five, then trudge forward, falling in line with Rose and Tanya, who have not said a word to each other since we arrived.

***

The girls and I shop around for a bit. Rose continues to wear her shades as we pick through the racks of clothes. My heart isn't in it today, I wish I could go home.

"Hey." Tanya places a hand on my shoulder as I fold a pair of jeans I was inspecting. "Wanted to check in, you seem a little down today."

Out of both of my best friends Tanya is like a mama bird. She's got this sixth sense about everything, and is always the first to comfort us when we're down.

"I'm good, really tired." It's not really a lie.

"Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything." She pauses for a moment carefully observing me. "I know you miss your dad," she says quietly.

Her sense is strong today.

"I'm glad you got to spend time with him yesterday, you looked really happy on stage. I wish you would have been at the party though maybe things would have..."

"There's my girl," Cam says, throwing an arm over my shoulder.

Tanya's lip curls, as if Cam disgusts her. I try to get her to look me in the eye, but she's already focused on a cute shirt on the rack in front of her.

I stare up at him confused by his sudden clingy behavior. He's been this way since we got here and I'm not sure what to make of it. Something definitely went down last night and I'm determined to find out what it was.

***

While everyone grabs food at the food court, I make an excuse to go to the restroom. I'm distracted on my way by the music store on the opposite side. The bright green neon sign calls to me, as well as the perfectly new Gibson acoustic guitar sitting in the window. All of the instruments we own are dad's, but one day I'd like to buy one of my own.

I glance back checking on my friends, they are all still chatting at the table. It won't hurt to take a quick glance. I'll be in and out before they notice. I walk in and linger by the wall with the acoustic guitars. I run a hand over a smooth light brown one just near the entrance.

"Fancy running into you here."

My heart jumps as I turn to face Flint. Spread out throughout the store are his band mates, including the girl drummer. Her bright colored hair stands out amongst the drum sets in the back.

"I was just um... checking out these guitars," I say.

"You play?" He nods in the direction of the guitar.

"Yeah. Does that surprise you as much as my love for punk rock?"

"A little more than the whole punk rock thing," he admits.

I glance over to the food court, hoping my friends are still distracted enough not to see me in here chatting with Flint.

"I meant what I said last night about you being good." He's trying to act cool, but the blush creeping up his neck tells a different story.

"I really enjoyed..." I stop myself, there's no way I'm gonna let a few nice comments alter my entire world. I check on my friends again, only this time most of them have gotten up and are now throwing away their things.

"It was okay." I shrug like it meant nothing.

I catch him checking over my shoulder to see what I keep looking at.

"Yo Flint!"

I pivot back, the guy with the green mohawk stares over at us.

"Duty calls, we're checking out some new equipment to buy with some of our winnings," he says.

"That's cool," I say, like it doesn't matter.

"I'll see you around, Marnie." His voice trails off as his attention is focused on something behind me.

An arm drapes heavily over my shoulder making me stumble slightly.

"Goodbye, freak," Cam says.

I want to tell him to shut it, only I don't find the strength to do so. Flint clenches his teeth, his hands balled up at his side.

"Oh, you wanna go at it?" Cam is clearly ready for a fight.

"He's not worth it, Cam." I touch his rock hard chest in an attempt to get him to back off.

Cam's eyes find mine and it helps him cool down. I take his hand and lead him out of the store.

"Why were you talking to that freak?"

I cringe at his words, but ignore it. "I was just looking at some guitars and he came strolling on over."

Cam let's go of my hand and puffs up his chest. My eyes catch Tanya. Pete has his arm around her and his lips gently settle against her head. She's got her sights set inside the store we came out of. I follow her eyes and catch sight of Flint still staring at me, and glaring at Cam.

"Can we just let it go?" I ask looking up at Cam.

"If he was bothering you, Marnie, I swear I will..."

Cam pushes forward causing me to stumble a bit. Flint jerks as if he felt a protective urge to reach me, but the green haired freak behind him grabs hold of him. He shakes his head and I swear I hear him say, she's not worth it, dude.

"Cam, enough, let's just go."

I'm relieved when we all decide to call it a day. They are all tired from the party and by this point all I want to do is go home.