Some days it feels like the world is ending. Maybe I'm being over dramatic. I've spent a few days home from school trying to wrap my head around the situation. Every day I've overslept. Lucille didn't hasn't even bother to get me up. I wonder if dad told her not to. Being home has given me time to not only reflect on everything happening, but it has given me time to get lost in my homework. The worst part is the only friend (aside from Flint) who has reached out, is Tanya. It was only one text that said I could talk to her if I needed to.

Talk about the scandal has died down a little. Dad had a press conference on Wednesday where he spoke to the public regarding the situation. I sat in my room hugging a pillow to my chest with tears streaming down my face. Dad, like always, looked so composed up there speaking to everyone. I envy his ability to keep it together when the world is crumbling around him. I'm more like mom. When things go wrong, I run.

This morning I woke up to an unbearable nightmare. This time instead of mom leaving it was dad. I screamed and he heard me from several rooms down. He was the first to get to me, but when I didn't wake up he immediately called for Lucille, who softly pulled me from the dream with the sweet sound of her singing. When I finally woke up, there were four sets of worried eyes hovering above me.

Tonight as I lay in bed listening to the quiet around me, I feel uneasy. I stare at the red number on my alarm clock and it reads 11:59pm. It's Thursday evening and in less than two minutes I'll be eighteen. I was born at exactly 12:01am. Usually when I wait for the numbers to change I'm excited, tonight I'm dreading the moment it flips to those numbers.

I spent the night tossing and turning and wake to a text message after only maybe two hours of sleep. It's six in the morning and I'm not sure who would be sending something this early. I roll over, snatch the phone from my bedside table, and turn on the screen.

Tanya: Please tell me you're coming to school today. I have something for you!

If there's anyone I miss talking to the most, it's her. She's always been my rock and my cheerleader, just as I was hers. The urge to stay in bed all day again hits me like a ton of bricks, but I have to get up. When I get to the bathroom, the door is locked. Why can't my bedroom have it's own bathroom like dad's?

"Go away," Dom yells. I don't know what it is, but something feels off about him lately.

He yaks into the bowl, and I still can't help but think about how it's not like him to drink. He only does something out of the ordinary when he worries about something or someone.

"Jesus Dom, I have to get ready. Are you drunk or sick?" I pound my fists against the door.

"We have like two bathrooms, Marnie," he coughs. "Use one of them."

"Dude, I need to shower and you know all of my things are in there. Please, Dom."

I lower my voice. I don't hear him puking anymore, so I jiggle the knob. I lift my fists ready to pound on the door when it swings open. He looks like shit. His soft brown hair is strewn all about, his face is pale, and his eyes are bloodshot.

"This isn't like you." I stand dead center in the doorway and hold my hands out against the sides of the frame. He ducks under and I spin to face him. He's got his back turned ready to walk away.

"Why do you care, Marnie?" He says to the door opposite the bathroom. "You're so wrapped up in being overly dramatic about the situation with dad, that you don't care about anyone else in this house except yourself."

I reach out and grab his wrist. "Excuse me, what makes you think I don't care?"

He shrugs me off then faces me. His cheeks redden.

"You haven't apologised to dad or Lucille for your erratic behavior and both of them have been zombies for days. All you care about is yourself." He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"So, you don't care that dad cheated on mom with Lucille? Like it's no big deal at all."

He rolls his eyes, like he's over this conversation. All I want is for us to see eye to eye on something.

"I'm not in the mood to argue, I've got a splitting headache right now." He rubs at his temples and attempts to walk away. I reach out and hold on again, pleading with him to talk to me.

"Dom," I bite my lip to try to hold back my tears. "You're not okay either, I've never seen you drink, like ever."

My heart lurches in my chest. I'm reaching out trying to better understand what he's going through. He's right what's happening isn't all about me, it's about all of us and I'm tired of everything being broken.

"You don't know anything, Marnie," he growls through his teeth.

"Enlighten me then?" I argue.

He tries to pull away from me, but I refuse to let go."Please." My voice breaks wanting more than anything for him to talk to me.

"I saw them okay? Is that what you want to hear? Six year old me opened the damn door. I thought Dad and Lucille were playing a game and ran into the room. It wasn't a game. Mom heard the commotion and came to check on me and..."

"Woah, wait a minute. You knew this the whole time and you didn't think that I should know?"

"Can I go to bed now?"

"NO!" I yell. I'm pretty sure I've woken up anyone who isn't already.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He shakes his head and turns starting to walk away. I tug on him wanting him to come back. He turns and water fills the edge of his eyes. I've never seen Dom cry, not even when he broke his arm, from falling off his bike.

"Marnie, I'm sorry I never told you. It took me many years to realize what I'd walked in on. It's not something I like to remember or think about. I know how you are, and this would have crushed you..."

"It would have?" I yell, finally letting go of him. "Does Derek know?"

He nods.

"For how long?"

"I told him years ago."

Now it's my turn to back away. Everyone in this family knew what had happened except me. All this time they thought they were protecting me by not saying anything. It only made it worse. I release my grasp on him and slam the bathroom door, locking it. He doesn't move for several minutes, and when I finally hear his footsteps retreat I slide down the door and sit there in silence.

***

An hour later I'm sitting in the school parking lot debating on going inside. Flint's car is already here and I'm not even sure what I'll be walking into. He hasn't messaged me since the night we were together. I'm not sure what I'll do when I see him today.

When I get the courage and walk through the doors I expect to find more people whispering, only no one is. Maybe everything has blown over. As I round the corner I'm greeted by a loud thunderous chorus of voices shouting, "Happy birthday!"

It's more than Tanya and Rose, it's all the people I associate with in school. In Tanya's hand is a colorful Happy Birthday balloon. Rose is showing off my decorated locker. I fight the urge to cry, I've done way too much of that, so I hold back. My friends haven't forgotten me, they've been busy planning. I take in the scene before me. The confident Marnie that I was a few months ago slowly creeps back in. Each person gives me some kind of acknowledgement as they pass by to head off to class, but something - no someone - seems to be missing, Cam.

I don't have time to process it as Tanya hands me a card. Inside is a fancy pink envelope with lace around the edge of it. It's in the shape of a heart. On top of it being my birthday, it's Valentine's day too. I open the card and I'm in awe at what I see inside. Tanya is throwing me a surprise eighteenth birthday at her house tonight. I know her mom is away, but I wasn't expecting her to throw a party for me.

"Please say you'll come, we worked so hard," she says with a pleading grin.

"Of course. Thank you. All of you, thank you."

I'm relieved that dad's scandal didn't deter them from wanting to be my friend. Everyone scatters when the bell rings. Arms wrap around me from behind and I already know it's Cam. He smells like he's just come from a wrestling match. I turn and as I do his smile fades.

"What is all this... oh shit..."

"You forgot my birthday?" I ask, my voice shaking more than I'd like it to.

"Shit, baby I'm so sorry... I blanked."

My jaw drops. We've known each other forever, how could he forget? My birthday is the easiest to remember since it falls on a holiday.

"What is up with you lately? It's like we aren't even a couple or something." I cross my arms at my chest and wait for him to answer.

"I'm sorry, sports have..."

I don't want to hear his excuses. I've had enough of them. "How is that even an excuse? You have never once forgotten my birthday," I say.

"You're right, it's not." He pauses. "Where have you been, Marnie? You've been gone too."

I squint at him. "What do you mean? I've been right here."

"And I thought you were going to Penny's party the other night, where were you?"

Penny is a mutual friend we only hang out with at school. No one ever mentioned to me that she had a party. The dreaded feeling is coming back. Maybe the birthday wasn't the only thing they have been hiding from me. I turn away from him.

"I don't know what's going on, but I have to get to class," I say. "Am I seeing you tonight at the party?"

"Tonight? Oh right, the party. I thought it was all next week. Of course I'll be there."

He kisses me on the cheek and walks away. I'm frozen in place, lost in a world where my own boyfriend forgot my birthday. Not only that, but this is our first interaction since Monday when he told me about the scandal coming to light. With a shaky breath I attempt to get it together before class. When I get enough courage to lift my head I find Flint leaning against a locker across from mine. He's got a swagger about him that radiates a confidence that I never noticed.

"You okay?" he mouths.

I shake my head. My phone goes off and I look down to grab it.

Flint: I'll get you through this stormy weather, I just want to make you all better.

I bite down hard on my quivering lip and glance up. He's studying me through the crowds of students passing by. I gaze downward at my phone to send him my answer.

Me: Charlotte Rising, "Cloudy Skies".

I add a winking emoji and hit send. Faintly across the noisy hallway his phone pings with my message. When our eyes meet he smirks, shaking his head at me. In the air he pretends to draw another tally point. I roll my eyes as the warning bell rings. He gets lost in the crowd, but as I make my way to first period my phone goes off again.

Flint: Happy Birthday, Marnie.