Perth sat at his favorite spot, the window nook in his room. He was re-reading the texts he exchanged with Chimon, his "mystery boy," as Ohm called him. "Will talk to you later, buddy. I need to meet my boyfriend now."

A couple of hours had passed since Chimon's last text, and still no new messages. What had he been expecting, really? He knew from the start that Chimon would never look his way. Chimon already had a perfect life with a perfect boyfriend, while Perth was just an "internet friend" Chimon confided in, never knowing who Perth truly was. 

It wasn’t as if he was the universe's favorite and deserved everything he ever wanted. No, he was meant to be heartbroken forever. He didn’t deserve love. He was useless, and those were the thoughts that had become permanent residents in his mind after Saint left him. And now, after trying so hard not to get stuck in the past, Perth had fallen for someone again—only for that person not to return his feelings. But it wasn’t like Chimon knew who he was or how Perth felt about him. If only Chimon wasn’t in love with someone else. If only Perth had a chance. If only he weren’t such a coward, hiding his identity just to talk to Chimon. If only.

Perth dozed off at the window nook, his phone resting on his chest, the weight of all those “if onlys” still swirling in his mind.

....

"Took you long enough," Nanon said as he was the first to arrive home. He had wanted to spend more time with Ohm, but his fathers had insisted they return by 7, and Ohm had his part-time job at the café. If only he could spend the entire day with his family, including Ohm. Nanon was already missing him, and waiting for Frank at the entrance of their sweet home only made it worse.

“Oh, you were waiting outside?” Frank asked, surprised.

"Dad asked for us to come together. You know why," Nanon said. Of course, Frank knew—another surprise birthday party.

They stepped into the dark living room, and suddenly, the room lit up with the sound of "Happy Birthday!" Their dad held a large balloon that read 'Happy birthday, my twins' in elegant calligraphy. That was new—unique, even. The twins smiled widely, but there was no trace of surprise on their faces. Not even a little. Tay felt disappointed. He had hoped for a genuine 'wow' moment, with shocked expressions from the twins after all the effort he, New, and Pluem had put into the surprise. Instead, all he got were big smiles.

"You two don’t look surprised at all. Was it that predictable?" Tay pouted.

"I knew it," New mumbled.

"You knew what?" Tay asked.

"That they wouldn't be surprised, Te. This is something we do every year, so how could we expect them to be surprised?"

"You should’ve told me. I w—"

Pluem intervened before the bickering started. "Dad, Papa, please don’t start now. It’s their birthday today. And look, they’re happy with our surprise."

Tay looked at his boys, feeling a bit emotional. "Dad, we’ve had surprise birthday parties every year since we were ten. It would be surprising if we still got shocked by it. But that doesn’t mean we don’t love it. We love how you always make the effort, how you show us so much love. We… just love you. We love spending our day like this," Nanon said.

Frank nodded in agreement. "Yes, Dad. We love it. We love you."

When they were nine, Nanon had come to his Dad and Papa, crying, upset because their classmate Lamai’s parents threw her a huge birthday party, while their parents only gave them cake and gifts. Although Nanon was in the wrong for throwing a tantrum, Tay took it to heart and started planning surprise birthday parties for all three of his boys. After all, they and New were all he had left after his parents’ passing.

Tay wasn’t a wealthy CEO with a sprawling empire like the typical lead in a Thai drama. He was just a middle-class, clumsy Tawan with a decent job when he fell in love with his boss. Ah, the Teechapaikhun's wealth and grandeur never failed to amaze him, even now. But when New decided to leave all that behind, Tay supported him. Now, they lived a life filled with peace, satisfaction, and love, raising three wonderful sons. Maybe God had blessed Tay more than others. He married the love of his life and then adopted Pluem, their eldest son. Frank and Nanon came along later, making their family complete. Tay wanted to fulfill every wish for his family, but now, his sons had grown so much that the surprise parties seemed a bit outdated. They were old enough to comfort him when things didn’t go as planned.

Tay’s eyes started to blur. "Dad, please, not now. Don’t cry. Your face will get all messed up. Papa, stop your husband before he starts crying," Frank said, panicking as he noticed the tears in Tay’s eyes.

Tay quickly composed himself and directed the twins to their rooms to change.

....

Frank stood in front of the mirror, fixing his hair when he heard a knock on the door. "Door’s open, come in." Nanon entered and flopped onto Frank’s bed. He glanced at his brother through the mirror. "Anything you want to say, Non?"

"Where did you go this morning? And don’t even try the 'I went to party with my friend' excuse. You can fool Papa and Dad, but not me." Concern was written all over Nanon’s face.

"Nanon, I’ll be honest with you, but promise me you won’t ask any questions."

"Frank, remember last year when I had that fever, and you had to go on that mountain trip alone?"

Frank’s body stiffened, and he fought to control his emotions. He couldn’t let his twin see him like this. Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady himself. Drake’s calming words echoed in his mind: "First, relax. Now, take a deep breath. Exhale. Excellent. Now repeat." The memory of Drake’s goofy finger poses helped calm him down. Still, he nervously rubbed his thumb against his index finger. Nanon noticed his habit twice in one day, but said nothing.

"After that day, you changed, Frank," Nanon continued, ignoring Frank’s nervousness. "We all noticed, but we gave you space. We thought you’d talk to us when you were ready, but you never did. Over time, you came back to yourself, and we forgot about the Frank who distanced himself from everyone. You never spoke about that trip or anything related. But I didn’t forget. I still remember how you acted—how you looked fearful, how you turned to silence. And I still don’t know why. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about the past. Just let me know about your present. I don’t want to see you change like that again."

"I know, Non. I really do. I understand you. This morning, I was having some trouble, but someone helped me. It's already been resolved, so there’s no need to worry," Frank said, trying to mask his emotions. He was barely keeping it together, struggling to breathe properly as his lungs fought for air.

"Who helped you?"

"A classmate."

"It better not have been Drake. He already rejected you, Frank. I don’t want to see you depressed again. Sometimes I think he’s the reason you changed in the first place."

Frank made a face at his brother’s words. "Yeah, yeah. I know you two are friends now, and everything’s okay between both of you. He helps you with a lot of things, and I don’t have to worry but still don't get too close to him just to get crushed once more."

"Yes, sir. Now, enough talking. I want to change my pants."

"Okay, okay. But you can change in front of me—we’re bros."

"Buzz off, Non."

"Okay, okay, I’m leaving." Nanon left with a playful laugh.

The door closed behind him, and Frank collapsed to the floor. His face was turning red as the room began to spin around him. Struggling to stand, he staggered toward a locked drawer where his pills were hidden. He needed them to maintain his bubbly facade in front of his family. With each step, the world around him grew darker. He had to hurry before he passed out. "Deep breath. Exhale. Repeat." If only Drake were there. 

And like a miracle, Drake appeared, guiding Frank to take his pills and helping him steady his breathing.

....

As promised, Drake was waiting below Frank’s room when he noticed someone climbing up to it. But it wasn’t Frank’s room—it was Nanon’s. Before Drake could shout “thief,” Nanon helped someone up the window. As the person climbed in, they pulled Nanon by the waist and kissed him. Not caring that the whole world might see them through that small window. Well, not the whole world, but Drake definitely did—though they were unaware. Drake quickly climbed to Frank’s room, eager to tell him the spicy news about his brother. But when he entered, he found Frank, his face as red as blood, gasping for air.

Drake rushed to Frank’s side, helping him take the pills.

"Relax. I’m here. Everything is okay."

....