MandiAustin

I thought the cover matched your story summary well. It showed two best friends having fun, not a kissy romance scene, which wouldn't have boded well since they are starting out as best friends in the story. Your summary was perfect for a one-shot and didn't give too much of the plot away. I thought your spelling and grammar were spot on. I didn't notice any distracting mistakes or issues with grammar. Your attention to the description was really good. You did a good job of setting the scene and describing the characters while also giving us a bit of history. I thought the plot was as expected. There weren't huge twists here but for a short holiday story, it was easy to follow. I thought your writing flowed well was easy to read. Creativity for me was slightly cliche. I guess I was expecting something more, I'm not sure why. Your ending was good, you do lust really well. I think the part where he dumps his fiance for her was a bit rushed. I know this was a one-shot but I think a night to sleep on things may have been good just to give it some kind of time-lapse instead of his knee jerk reaction to Noelia's feelings. Overall I liked this and think you did a great job!