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Chapter 33- Is that Jealousy?

MIRA'S POV:

Mondays are probably the most challenging. It always spoils the Sunday fun for some reason. The last few weeks have been fun. We sneak out every weekend to his or my apartment. We went on these little late-night dates sometimes, that he wanted to have with me for many days now. At first, it was really awkward for me, to go out in public like that. It always scares me, with lots of 'what ifs' in my mind. But I couldn't say no to that cute face after all.

But truth to be told, we usually like to stay in. Braiding my hair, cooking together, him reading books for me, and encouraging I should write like one of those and publish, which is still in the debatable phase. Because, I write, mostly about my feelings. They are raw and uncompressed, like those published books. Hence it is a no-no for me. Alas, he never gives up. Thanks to that, I told him that I would think over the matter, as long as he let me eat some real food. Not like one of his smoothies and salads. Come on, after the rough weeks, I do need some carbs and... maybe a little of him too.

And that is how we had come up with the solution, well, which was technically his idea; That I can eat whatever I like, as long as it is him, that's cooking. So, he does the cooking while I just gawk at his shirtless figure. I often get confused, what is more, delicious at the table? Food or half-naked him.

Definitely, half-naked him, without a doubt.

After that rough week without him, made me realize that, no matter how hard I try to say that I am fine alone, he kind of grew on me. We would do all these cute couple's things that we found on the internet. Although I have always hated doing those, I would be lying, if I say I haven't enjoyed those.

To be honest, secretly I envied Nina when she used to brag about all those amazing date nights, she had which looked super fun. I wanted to experience that too, even for once, but never had the guts to do the chance.

I admit that was not very likely for me before Alex happened. But now, everything has changed.

From having the self-care spa day to nail arts. I love it all. Especially when I make these tiny ponies in his head. He looks cute. The best part is, that he never complains. Additionally, he was my personal spa therapist, ignoring the fact that we always ended up having memorable sex.

Four months together seems like a whole new life for me. A life, I always wanted to have. But could never actually afford it. Slowly, with each little step, when he had become so close to me, I never noticed.

We have come to an agreement, that this is definitely more than an arrangement-ship to us. Only I couldn't come up with a perfect name for us yet. I hope soon, I will. Soon, when I will know, what I was actually feeling all this time. I know giving him time would never be made me regret a thing. I hope so.

But there are still many things he doesn't know about me. My past. Well, nothing at all. We agreed to focus on the present until we know what will be like to term this.

So, after he came back from his hometown, we did everything that make us both happy. We would go shopping and I loved it when he got irritated by how much I took the time to choose one thing. You know girls. But what I liked most about us was that no matter how many times we had sex, every time it felt like a new sensation.

I simply began to love all of him.

Love...?

I don't know... Maybe something less than that... Something I can't explain.

It was already summer now. I watched the outside view of my apartment from the window and I felt lonely. I miss him. There was odd silence all over my house.

I began to picture us running and laughing all around this room. Minus the fact that it is only an illusion.

I liked it when he made me breakfast during his stay. And for the record, we are not limited to just weekends, we have upgraded to whenever we miss each other days. He left early this morning, due to some urgent assignments that he needs to submit today. While having my cereal I went through my phone to check for any new messages for the morning. Nina dropped 4 messages, asking where I was last night and there are 2 messages from mom as well, asking a few things about life.

I replied to both of them and ate another bite of breakfast.

TING

My phone buzzes, and it's someone I've been missing so much. Alex.

Alex: "Buenos Dias Senorita" (Good morning, my lady)

I smiled at his text and replied. Me: "Buenos Dias Senor" (Good morning, sir)

Me: "No sabía que también puedes hablar español." I asked through text. (I didn't know you could also speak Spanish)

Alex: "hay muchas mas cosas que aun no sabes de mi, hermosa" He replied. (There are many more things you don't know about me yet, beautiful.)

Unintentionally I kept smiling as he started flirting with me. It has been just a few hours, but the spark felt like ever new.

Me: "Ah, sí, es correcto. No sabía nada de ti hasta ayer." (Oh yes, that's right. I didn't know anything about you until yesterday)

Alex: "Pero aún así, espero que me hayas disfrutado todos estos días." (But still, I hope you enjoyed me all these days)

Me: "No puedo mentir, así te diré que lo hice," (I can't lie so I'll tell you I did)

Oh boy, you bet that I did enjoy you.

Me: "See you at school"

Alex: "Bye doll"

I put the phone aside and took another bite of my cereal. There was a strange sensation of the mixture of happiness and freaking out at the same time after last night, of our first date. I had no idea that he would take me on such a magical journey, but at the same time, my mind forced me to give chills down my spine.

It was not regarding how good our first date was, or how much we enjoyed it. But it was about that one question- or rather that huge three-letter words, of his confessions that is on replay in the back of my mind.

What am I going to do now?

FLASHBACK TO THE DATE NIGHT:

As we finished the first two courses of the meal, the waitress brought us another course.

"I have always wanted to come here. The food is indeed very tasty" I complimented while having a bite of my Aubergine Parmigiana. He said it was the chef's special.

He smiled a little awkwardly and replied, "I am glad you liked it. I was getting a little nervous, actually." He indeed looked a little nervous from the very beginning, but I have never thought that I'd ever see this version of him.

I frowned a little and asked in surprise, "Why so? I didn't know, the famous Alex is getting nervous over a date." Despite the fact, I had one little question arising in my chest, that is making me hard to even breathe. "I mean... I believe this is not the first date..." To be honest, there was some uncomfortable rush through my veins.

I know the fact, that despite this all being very first for me, he already had his moments with other women. Not that I was jealous or something, but the thought of that idea, didn't amuse me for sure.

"No... not my first date... but" His voice trailed a hint of muse, before he completed, "It was first with you." And I would be lying if I say that didn't make me blush once again. I guess we could run this 'how much can I be red in one-minute' game for him. He could win all the time.

His voice end with a little uncomforting. "Not every girl likes everything right?" He finished with a bite of his steak.

"Have you brought any girls here before?" I snapped almost immediately. Fuck. When I realized, I maybe gone a little overboard, compressed myself with a little throat clearing. "Uh... I mean... is there anyone you brought here who didn't like the place? If that is so, she really is stupid you know. Lie who would not like this special treatment?"

I couldn't believe my voice right now. This is not mine. It cannot be. I have never acted like this before. What has changed? I sound like some jealous overprotective girl, who could start the fight only because her boyfriend has dated in the past. It was not like something I could control for him. It was before I even came into his life.

For God's sake, Mira, just stop overthinking and enjoy the evening, will you? I mentally slapped myself for behaving in such a reckless way. I just hope, he doesn't make fun of me now.

But his voice was calm and composed. "Yes, a few times. Well, one girl though, my ex." He finished with a discomfort lining his chiselled face. "They said this was all boring" His voice then became normal as much as possible while having another bite of his steak.

A sudden wave of jealousy and discomfort rushed through my veins. I didn't like the idea of him bringing other girls on dates like this.

But wait, why do I feel this way? He can bring anyone he likes. It's not like we're committed to each other, and he brought them all in the past as well. What is wrong with me tonight? But despite the mental debate I held just now, I didn't like the picture of him and the other girls, dating, at all.

I know he is not something I own. I don't believe in this shit. It's too mundane and silly to call someone as if we own them. Because no matter what, in the end, we would be alone. Just us. It doesn't take much time to change for a person. We can't predict our future, so it is better to keep a certain safe distance.

That was my ideology before I met Alex. But Nina was right, he is bending the titanium in my heart. Slowly and carefully. But that is not what amazed me. It was the fact that I am letting him do so.

I know I'm probably stupid and shouldn't feel like this. However, I felt what I am feeling at this moment. I gulped down the rest of the food almost forcefully as I didn't have much appetite after hearing this.

What was mostly bugging me was that I am not exquisite. How can he bring me somewhere he brought other girls before? This is strictly unacceptable. But I don't want to make any scene here. He is truly something. The same man can make me blush and melt in his words, and then the next minute he knows how to earn a fist from me.

Probably the only person in the world that can literally play with my feelings like that. The rest of the dinner went pretty quietly with the sound of crockeries, cutleries and munching of foods.

Am I really jealous of something that stupid reason? I guess I am.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Happy reading guys. One small request, if you do like this book, could you please leave a review on amazon? It would mean the world to me. Thank you all. <3

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