usernames:
Daichi - Daddy~
Terushima - Dumbass (hick edition)
Suga - Mr. Refreshing ;)
Oikawa - Dumbass (poser edition)
Kuroo - Dumbass (derogatory)
Bokuto - Dumbass (neutral)

-

Saturday, 1:15 AM

Dumbass (neutral): question for the group

Dumbass (neutral): this is serious

Dumbass (neutral): I AM IN CRISIS

Mr. Refreshing ;): it is 1:18 in the MORNING

Dumbass (neutral): and???

Mr. Refreshing ;): ...

Mr. Refreshing ;): what do you need

Dumbass (derogatory): shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

Dumbass (derogatory): and stop fidgeting!

Dumbass (derogatory): i can't sleep if you don't stop moving

Dumbass (neutral): sorry

Dumbass (neutral): we'll talk in the morning suga

Mr. Refreshing ;): what about your crisis?

Dumbass (derogatory): he's already asleep

Mr. Refreshing ;): i -

Mr. Refreshing ;): okay

Dumbass (poser edition): we'll let you know when he wakes up so you can continue your chat

Mr. Refreshing ;): ...not even gonna question it

Mr. Refreshing ;): good night

Saturday, 9:57 AM

Dumbass (hick edition): hi yes i have a question for the chat myself

Dumbass (hick edition): what the fuck happened this morning at that unholy hour?

Dumbass (neutral): i was asking for advice from the chat and only suga responded

Dumbass (neutral): thanks for the support, assholes

Dumbass (hick edition): 👍

Dumbass (derogatory): you can get the fuck out if that's how you're going to be

Dumbass (poser edition): ^

Daddy~: Bokuto, don't leave the chat. We may still be able to salvage it.

Dumbass (derogatory): i wasn't talking about the chat, daddychi

Dumbass (poser edition): he was talking about his very comfy bed

Daddy~: I've said it once and I'll say it again.

Daddy~: I regret making this chat.

Mr. Refreshing ;): bokuto, what was your crisis last night?

Dumbass (hick edition): hold up, are we ignoring the fact that bokuto and oikawa are at kuroo's house?? in his BED???

Daddy~: Bokuto and Kuroo have always been good friends, it's not surprising that they spend the night at each other's occasionally.

Daddy~: And Oikawa must be in Tokyo looking at schools so Kuroo invited him to stay at his place instead of a hotel.

Daddy~: You're a good friend, Kuroo.

Dumbass (derogatory): of course i am! i am a very nice person, after all~

Mr. Refreshing ;): that's all well and good, kuroo, but bokuto still hasn't answered my question

Mr. Refreshing ;): and he really should if he wants to lessen his punishment for waking me 🙂

Dumbass (neutral): right! this all started with me needing advice!

Dumbass (neutral): so, suga, my newest bestie

Dumbass (derogatory): oooh i'm telling akaashi~

Dumbass (neutral): suck a dick 🙂

Dumbass (derogatory): you offering yours? 😘

Dumbass (poser edition): ha gay

Mr. Refreshing ;): bokuto.

Dumbass (neutral): RIGHT!

Dumbass (neutral): so my crisis is like this, yeah? i go over to that stupid cat's place last night bc he wanted to hang out with me. he forgot to mention the fact that the flattest of asses was also over, in town for something with his sister, idk, wasn't paying much attention to that bc of the reason for my CRISIS

Dumbass (neutral): normally there is a spare futon at the kuroo household but turns out they lent it to kenma and his family bc they had relatives visiting. so here comes my crisis...THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED

Mr. Refreshing ;): so?

Mr. Refreshing ;): i know you have shared a bed before with kuroo at training camps when one of you would 'accidentally' let off a stink bomb in the other's room

Dumbass (neutral): it isn't the one bed that got to me, suga!

Dumbass (neutral): it is the fact that after i came back from taking a piss i found thE CAT AND HIS SAVIOR CUDDLED TOGETHER!!!!!

Dumbass (neutral): [insert picture]

Dumbass (neutral): I MEAN LOOK HOW FUCKING ADORABLE THESE SHITS ARE

Dumbass (poser edition): did you seriously just call us shits and adorable in the same text?

Daddy~: Huh. I guess that's how Kuroo gets his bedhead.

Mr. Refreshing ;): so if you found them adorable what is the crisis?

Dumbass (neutral): my CRISIS is that they didn't invite me into the cuddle puddle!

Dumbass (poser edition): we were both already asleep, as the picture you sent proves

Dumbass (derogatory): and not having an invitation didn't stop you from wiggling your way into the cuddle puddle anyways

Dumbass (derogatory): so kindly stfu and stop complaining

Dumbass (neutral): you're a dick

Dumbass (derogatory): you can leave now 😀

Dumbass (hick edition): are you three seriously blowing up the group chat despite being in the same room as each other?

Dumbass (poser edition): obviously

Dumbass (poser edition): saves me the trouble of recapping everything to mr. refreshing later

Dumbass (poser edition): this way he has a front row seat to the show, no need for screenshots or muffled recordings

Mr. Refreshing ;): thanks ❤️

Dumbass (poser edition): anything for you ❤️

Dumbass (poser edition): i gotta go, going shopping with my sister now

Dumbass (poser edition): don't have any fun without me~

Dumbass (derogatory): wouldn't dream of it ❤️

Dumbass (poser edition): 😘

Dumbass (derogatory): i'll be waiting for your return with bated breath

Dumbass (neutral): dude! i'm right here!

Dumbass (derogatory): ew

Dumbass (derogatory): why remind me

Dumbass (hick edition): looks like those two have found a new victim to bully

Dumbass (hick edition): you're in the clear for now, daddy

Daddy~: Don't call me that.

Mr. Refreshing ;): but you responded to it??

Dumbass (neutral): they got you there dude

Mr. Refreshing ;): it's bc he secretly likes being called daddy

Daddy~: Oh, would you look at the time! My mom needs help with my siblings!

Daddy~: See you!

Dumbass (hick edition): smooth

Mr. Refreshing ;): so subtle

Mr. Refreshing ;): but on that note, i actually have to help my brother out, unlike SOME people

Dumbass (hick edition): good luck

Mr. Refreshing ;): thank you, dumbass hick edition

Dumbass (hick edition): i really should change my name in here

Sunday, 9:24 PM

Dumbass (neutral): FUCK

Dumbass (neutral): are any of you good at literature analysis??

Dumbass (neutral): i actually have a real crisis now!!!

Daddy~: Homework?

Dumbass (neutral): yes!!

Daddy~: What do you need to analyze?

Dumbass (neutral): you'll really help me??

Daddy~: Of course! I won't do it for you, but I can walk you through the steps.

Dumbass (neutral): you are the best, daichi!

Dumbass (neutral): screw that bastard oikawa! you are the true savior!

Dumbass (poser edition): and you wonder why i won't help you with your homework

Dumbass (neutral): should i send you a picture of the excerpt? or a link? maybe call you?

Daddy~: Send me a link in a separate chat. We'll take it from there.

Dumbass (neutral): you're the best!

Dumbass (hick edition): who would've thought bokuto would be the first one to get a private chat with daddy

Mr. Refreshing ;): excuse you

Mr. Refreshing ;): i've had a one on one chat going with him since first year, thank you very much

Daddy~: Suga, we go to the same school and are in the same club, of course we would have a chat.

Mr. Refreshing ;): ...

Dumbass (derogatory): ha!

Mr. Refreshing ;): i'm still the favorite

Mr. Refreshing ;): right, daddy?

Daddy~: I have to help Bokuto, I'll see you tomorrow.

Dumbass (poser edition): aw, don't worry babe, you're still my favorite!

Dumbass (hick edition): yeah! you are definitely my second favorite in this chat that isn't me!

Dumbass (derogatory): oh? are we privy to that ranking?

Dumbass (hick edition): sure thing

Dumbass (hick edition): in order - daichi, sugawara, kuroo, oikawa, bokuto

Dumbass (poser edition): hey what the fuck!?

Dumbass (poser edition): why am i fourth?? how did that lanky bastard out rank me??

Dumbass (poser edition): i should be third!

Dumbass (derogatory): at least you accept the fact that we can't outrank those crows

Dumbass (poser edition): duh! i may be full of myself but i'm not delusional

Dumbass (derogatory): that would just be sad if you thought any of us could beat those two

Dumbass (derogatory): they are built different at karasuno

Dumbass (poser edition): can we have an explanation for the rankings?

Dumbass (hick edition): certainly

Dumbass (hick edition): daichi for obvious reasons (he's daddy)

Dumbass (hick edition): suga is second cuz he is hot af

Dumbass (hick edition): kuroo came in third cuz he is funny and helped with my chem homework

Dumbass (hick edition): oikawa is fourth cuz he is in my district so he can't be last

Dumbass (hick edition): and bokuto takes up the rear cuz he is making moves on daddy

Dumbass (derogatory): he certainly takes the rear, that's for sure

Mr. Refreshing ;): hm, your ranking is different from mine

Dumbass (poser edition): sharing is caring~

Mr. Refreshing ;): ofc bby

Mr. Refreshing ;): in order - daichi, oikawa, kuroo, terushima, bokuto

Mr. Refreshing ;): daichi for obvious reasons, oikawa bc he is oikawa, kuroo bc he can get under tsukishima's skin and that is funny as hell, terushima bc he's got a sick tongue piercing, and bokuto comes in last bc he woke me up the other day and bc he is hogging daichi's time rn

Dumbass (poser edition): ha! i outrank you this time, bastard!

Dumbass (poser edition): mine are like this - suga bc he is my bestie, daichi bc he is daddy, kuroo bc he let me sleep at his house this weekend, terushima bc that tongue piercing is kinda hot, and bokuto bc when he joined the cuddle puddle he elbowed me in the trachea

Dumbass (derogatory): i hold third place quite well

Dumbass (hick edition): are you going to share your rankings with the group, third place?

Dumbass (derogatory): 

Dumbass (hick edition): uh...why did you send a picture of a gilf?

Dumbass (poser edition): wait is HE your number one?!

Dumbass (derogatory): is he apart of the group chat?

Dumbass (hick edition): could be

Dumbass (derogatory): i-

Mr. Refreshing ;): that is old man steve rogers you uncultured swine

Mr. Refreshing ;): google him, you'll understand why kuroo sent his picture

Dumbass (poser edition): oooooh

Dumbass (derogatory): he isn't a part of the group chat but he is still my number one gilf

Dumbass (derogatory): captain america can still get it, even as a retired widower

Mr. Refreshing ;): absolutely

Mr. Refreshing ;): he can do me all day, that's for sure

Dumbass (poser edition): can we go back to bullying bokuto? i'm more familiar with that concept than whatever...this is

Mr. Refreshing ;): this is called thirsting after america's ass

Dumbass (hick edition): you know what

Dumbass (hick edition): i can see the appeal

Dumbass (hick edition): he gives off that secretly kinky vibe behind those kind blue eyes

Dumbass (derogatory): fucking told you he does, suga!!!

Mr. Refreshing ;): ok ok, i'm starting to see it

Dumbass (hick edition): you on board with the simping yet, oikawa?

Dumbass (poser edition): let me do some research, brb

Dumbass (derogatory): let us know the results

Monday, 2:13 AM

Dumbass (poser edition): i'm on board

Dumbass (poser edition): i would pay to receive steve roger's serum

Dumbass (poser edition): any time, any way

Dumbass (poser edition): breakfast lunch and dinner

Dumbass (poser edition): his serum would sustain me

Dumbass (derogatory): babe, as much as i enjoy listening to you talk about how you wanna have captain america be your personal food source, you do have a math exam tomorrow and you need sleep for that

Dumbass (derogatory): we can talk about sucking captain rogers off after school, mkay?

Dumbass (poser edition): you promised, don't forget that

Dumbass (derogatory): go to sleep

Monday, 6:49 AM

Daddy~: Every time I open this chat to catch up on what I missed, I want to bleach my eyes.

Daddy~: Oikawa, did you stay up all night watching Captain America movies?

Dumbass (poser edition): bitch i might've

Dumbass (poser edition): worth it tho

Dumbass (neutral): hey what the fuck?! this is so unfair and uncalled for!!!

Daddy~: I know, they were being a little mean to you last night, Bokuto. Don't worry, you aren't last on my ranking.

Dumbass (neutral): fuck the rankings, i'm talking about how they thirsted after captain america without me!!!

Dumbass (derogatory): paybacks a bitch

Dumbass (derogatory): if you hadn't stolen my favorite hoodie then i wouldn't have brought up old man steve

Dumbass (poser edition): but i am so glad you did! how could you keep this beautiful specimen from me?!

Dumbass (hick edition): i agree with oikawa

Dumbass (hick edition): old man steve should've been apart of this chat from it's conception

Mr. Refreshing ;) has renamed the chat 'GILF Lovers'

Dumbass (derogatory): so true, suga

Dumbass (derogatory): i'm always a whore for a sexy elderly man

Dumbass (neutral): could've ended the sentence after the fourth word

Dumbass (hick edition): nice kill, bokuto!

Dumbass (derogatory) has renamed 'Dumbass (neutral)' to 'Bastard McFuckhead'

Dumbass (poser edition): ha!

Bastard McFuckhead has renamed 'Dumbass (poser edition)' to 'Bastard Simp #1'

Bastard McFuckhead has renamed 'Dumbass (derogatory)' to 'Bastard Simp #2'

Bastard McFuckhead: you don't get to be number one, you stupid cat!

Bastard Simp #1: these new names aren't far from the truth

Bastard Simp #2: you do have a point

Bastard McFuckhead: wait what

Bastard Simp #2: we are in fact simps for bastards

Bastard McFuckhead: you aren't supposed to agree!!! it is supposed to be an insult!!

Bastard Simp #1: hardly a insult if it is true, you dumb bastard

Dumbass (hick edition): i feel abandoned in the dumbass club now

Mr. Refreshing ;) has renamed 'Dumbass (hick edition)' to 'Lickety Lick'

Bastard Simp #1: not your best one, bby

Mr. Refreshing ;): i know i know i did it while walking to morning practice

Lickety Lick: is this because of my tongue piercing?

Lickety Lick: bc i've been told that the piercing does feel good when i lickety lick the dickety dick

Daddy~: Everyone off your phones, we all have places to be.

Daddy~: And stop talking about licking dicks and being horny for old man this early in the morning!

Mr. Refreshing ;): whatever you want, daddy

Daddy~: You know what? Bokuto isn't the only one who can call people out.

Daddy~ has renamed 'Mr. Refreshing ;)' to 'Daddy's Baby Boy'

Daddy's Baby Boy: get to the club room now, daichi

Daddy~: Fuck.

Bastard Simp #1: get his ass, suga!

Bastard Simp #2: i think his ass is the one that is gonna get got

Lickety Lick: about damn time they fucked

Lickety Lick: i hope none of the other members of the club walk in on them

Bastard Simp #1: right? talk about traumatizing for the underclassmen

Bastard McFuckhead: DAICHI DONT YOU DARE FUCK SUGA IN FRONT OF HINATA!!!

Bastard Simp #1: please, as if shrimpy and the rest of the team didn't already know this would happen

Bastard Simp #2: shrimpy told kenma they have a betting pool going to see when the sexual tension would snap and they would finally bone

Bastard Simp #2: most of them are about to lose a lot of money

Bastard Simp #1: do you know who is gonna win?

Bastard Simp #2: hold on, lemme check what kenma sent me about the pool

Bastard Simp #2: seems as if a second year named ennoshita won

Bastard Simp #2: daaaaaaamn he even got the way they would be caught exactly right

Bastard Simp #1: how much did he win?

Bastard Simp #2: an absurd amount like a crazy amount for any high school second year to win

Lickety Lick: sweet! time to seduce him into taking me out to a fancy lunch

Bastard Simp #1: lickety lick his dickety dick and he may just become your sugar daddy

Lickety Lick: on it! when that works out i'll send you a gift basket

Bastard Simp #1: knew i could count on you, blondie

Bastard Simp #2: can't wait for the update from suga after 'morning practice'

Bastard McFuckhead: speaking of, i gotta go

Bastard McFuckhead: good luck getting a sugar daddy, terushima!

Lickety Lick: thanks man! i'm going to woo the shit out of him with my charms and skills

Lickety Lick: he won't be able to resist me

Bastard Simp #1: i'll stop by later to get my reward

Bastard Simp #2: and...?

Bastard Simp #1: and i'll save some for you, of course

Bastard Simp #2: i was going to say get the update on the karasuno drama but that works too

Bastard Simp #2: guess you have more than one bastard you simp after~

Bastard Simp #1: you know it~

Lickety Lick: i'm...gonna go to practice now and leave you two to...whatever this is