Tuesday, 6:19 AM

Kozume: oh no

Kozume: he's everywhere

Lickety Lick: that's not unsettling at all

Daddy's Baby Boy: who's everywhere?

Kozume: oikawa

Kozume: he is everywhere

Kozume: on my feed, in this chat, in shitposts, in ads

Ultimate PB: in me

Kozume: in kuro

Bastard McFuckhead: that timing tho

Kozume: kuro this is a serious epidemic

Professional Shit Starter: Kozume-san, respectfully, what the fuck are you talking about?

Little Bitch Boy: aw is my son hallucinating me? do you miss me that much?

Kozume: ur not my dad

Little Bitch Boy: i will be one day

Little Bitch Boy: i am dating your mom after all

Kozume: you will never be my dad

Kozume: even if you marry kuro

Little Bitch Boy: ouch

Professional Shit Starter: It's okay, Oikawa-san. Not everyone can be the ideal stepfather like me.

Sawamura: Akaashi you forgot to pack Tendou's lunch yesterday. You are not THAT ideal.

Professional Shit Starter: I'm teaching him the valuable lesson of how to fend for yourself.

Whore Hard: 😣 i was so hungry and you laughed at me 😭i wanna live with my real dad

Daishou: This chat is fucked up

Ultimate PB: it got even more fucked up when you joined 😙

Daishou: Glad I could be of service 👍

Kozume: stop flirting and get back to the issue at hand

Kozume: this is serious

Kozume: oikawa NEEDS to be topped

Bastard McFuckhead: on it 😀

Little Bitch Boy: 🤤

Kozume: *stopped

Dadd's Baby Boy: bestie, are you implying you will have premarital coitus? in MY good christian group chat?

Ultimate PB: tsk tsk

Ultimate PB: tooru you harlot

Ultimate PB: you are tearing this family apart

Ultimate PB: kenma is hallucinating you everywhere not bc he misses you but bc he is OBVIOUSLY traumatized at your promiscuous behavior

Ultimate PB: think of our child, will you??

Sawamura: You say this as if you weren't just flirting with Daishou not even two minutes ago.

Ultimate PB: why don't you worry about your own family issues first, hm?

Bastard McFuckhead: tetsu is just upset that i accepted tooru's offer to practice all weekend in miyagi rather than his offer to go to the zoo

Daddy's Baby Boy: that one's on you, kuroo

Daddy's Baby Boy: if you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend and the guy you and your boyfriend are competing to see who courts successfully first you should've known to suggest volleyball

Professional Shit Starter: And he is supposed to be smart, smh.

Daishou: I think I had a freaking aneurysm trying to understand that

Try Hard: It's because you lack reading comprehension skills.

Daishou: I don't think so. I think Daddy's Baby Boy lacks communication skills

Daddy's Baby Boy: bite me

Daishou: Where? 😏

Whore Hard: 🤯not me being the one to remind everyone we all have morning practices to get to 🧺

Wednesday, 9:03 PM

Try Hard has renamed 'Daishou' to 'Homewrecker'

Homewrecker: Why?

Try Hard has renamed 'Daddy's Baby Boy' to 'Perfidious Lover'

Perfidious Lover: what does that even mean...?

Little Bitch Boy: is ushiwaka just going on a renaming spree? what is happening?

Bastard McFuckhead: ur guess is as good as mine

Ultimate PB: 😆suuuuure okayyyy

Bastard McFuckhead: suck a dick tetsu

Ultimate PB: you first 😏

Try Hard has renamed 'Ultimate PB' to 'Thing 1'

Thing 1: oh

Try Hard has renamed 'Bastard McFuckhead' to 'Thing 420'

Thing 420: nice

Try Hard has renamed 'Little Bitch Boy' to 'Thing 69'

Thing 69: no

Thing 69: i'm number 1

Thing 69: tetsu-chan switch with me

Thing 1 has renamed 'Thing 69' to 'Thing 1'

Thing 1 has renamed 'Thing 1' to 'Thing 69'

Thing 1: ur the best 👨‍❤️‍👨

Thing 69: gay

Bore Whore: Says the one who switched without argument.

Thing 69: u got me there

Sawamura: Ushijima, why are you renaming everyone in the chat?

Try Hard has renamed 'Sawamura' to 'Deadchi'

Try Hard: It is time for a change around here.

Deadchi: Should I be concerned that my name is deadchi...?

Try Hard has renamed 'Lickety Lick' to 'Himbo'

Deadchi: I'm gonna take the lack of response as a yes.

Kozume: that is kind of unfair to name terushima himbo

Himbo: yeah im actually super smart

Kozume: what about all the other himbos in this chat? think of how they'll feel

Himbo: oh

Try Hard has renamed 'Kozume' to 'Amatuer Shit Starter'

Bore Whore: Oh, damn. Ushiwaka is not fucking around.

Professional Shit Starter: Maybe one day soon you'll be promoted to a pro like me.

Amatuer Shit Starter: could've been worse

Amatuer Shit Starter: he could've changed my name to akaashi keiji

Thing 1: oh my sweet baby iwa-chan, just hurry up and make out already!! the tension is killing me!!

Thing 69: don't encourage my child to canoodle with my arch foe!! Tf?!

Try Hard: Me 🤝Oikawa

Try Hard: Causing discord among the second years in this chat

Thing 1: never associate with me again

Thing 69: aww the hand shake kind of looks like a heart

Thing 69: that's so cuuuute

Thing 1: good news!! i am now single!!

Bore Whore: Thanks, Kuroo. You have unleashed a curse upon this world once more.

THing 69: tooru, you forgot the box of milk bread i bought you at my place

Thing 1: mail it to me

Thing 69: no ♥️

Thing 1: they're mine!!!

Thing 69: nuh uh

Thing 69: possession is 9/8 of the law, bitch

Thing 420: dude that's an american thing

Homewrecker: And that fraction is completely wrong

Amatuer Shit Starter: guys, lay of kuro

Thing 69: thank you kenma

Amatuer Shit Starter: it's not his fault he has a drunk raccoon for brain

Thing 69: oh okay

Thing 69: guess i am going to eat all this milk bread while i play the new zelda, huh

Amatuer Shit Starter: dont you dare

Thing 69: dOnT yOu DaRe

Try Hard: This has all around been a successful night.

Try Hard: Good work team.

Thursday, 2:29 AM

Whore Hard: 😦i decide to sleep early and i miss all the excitement 😮‍💨typical 🫁