Chapter 23: Alone

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~Dream/Memory~

I had pressed myself against the wall of my two story house taking a belt to my side. The sound of the belt making contact with my body made me flinch every time. "You're a little whore! No one will ever love a stupid whore like you!".

Snap! He had hit me for the fifth time hard. "Stop please!" I screech at the top of my lungs.

Then, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me up. Dragging me across the kitchen, I lean back to slow him down. I knew what he was going to do, I knew what would happen next.

The closet next to the bathroom. He had locked me in there countless times leaving me for hours on end with no food, no water, and no bathroom access. He opened the door and began shoving me in only I hooked my fingers on the molding that was around the door. I screamed and cried wishing he would set me free. "Get your stupid ass in there bitch!" he yells, then with his left foot, he kicked me hard in the stomach.

He did this a few times until I let go and fell onto the closet floor. He then slammed the door shut leaving me in there with only the small light from the bottom of the door. I sat there sobbing and laying there in pain for hours. Sometimes he wouldn't let me out until morning.

I was placed in here for stupid things like not cleaning something right away or coming out of my room. But this time I tried calling the police. I was a smart seven-year-old. Hours past by as I sat there silently listening to the times I heard his footsteps. Thud, thud, thud...Then, suddenly the door swung open.

Ripping me out of the close he threw me against a wall. He smacked me hard in the face while I crouched down, he held my arm firmly and yanked at my hair with his free hand now. "Go to your room you piece of shit!" he yells.

~End of Dream~

Cold sweat seeps down my back as I shot up, heavily breathing, hands shaking, the memory and dream had sent me into a frenzy of cries. Rushing into my room came Andrew to see if I was alright, sitting on the edge of my bed he quickly took me into his arms disregarding if I felt comfortable.

My hands clutched at his back still shaken up sniffling softly I pull away from him and wiped my tears away. "Go back to bed, I'm sorry. It was a bad dream." I say.

Andrew shakes his head. "I'm staying until you calm down. Was the dream about Levi?" he asks.

Everything stopped, looking over to him in confusion everything stopped, my heart, definitely my brain. What? Where? Why? "What?" I ask.

He sighs and moves in closer. "When you were sick... you were out of your head and talking about this guy Levi... and how you love him and that you were sorry for leaving." he tells me.

I had no memory of this happening, but then again the whole time I was sick was just me in and out of consciousness. I didn't know how to avoid this, looking over to him I purse my lips together. "He's no one." I say.

Andrew smiles and shakes his head. "Can't be, was he an ex that you miss?" he asks.

"Andrew stop-

"Boyfriend?" he then asks.

"Stop it! It's none of your business." I tell him.

He raises his hands in surrender and smiles innocently. "You're right. I'll change the subject." he says. I was ready to cry all over again now that he was bringing up Levi, I didn't want him to know anything about Levi, because then he'd be jealous and start asking questions I can't answer. He had no business asking me things about him before all this shit Andrew hadn't even bothered to call me. Once he left before my graduation, I hadn't heard from him until almost a year ago now.

Although Andrew may have forced his way back into my life, I didn't want to give him the privilege to know who I was romantic with. He was my friend and only that, it was bad enough he knew about my father and what was done to me.

I couldn't have him getting jealous over some guy he'd never be able to meet. I sometimes wished Levi was here because if he was Levi wouldn't tolerate Andrew's behavior one bit. And as much as I wanted to make Andrew understand my feelings, I couldn't get it through his thick head.

I relax and look down at my hands. I wish he would just go back to bed and let me handle this on my own. Andrews mood seemed to change after I said to drop the previous topic. That's when I watched him pull out his phone, turning it on he quickly went to the messages and tapped on Lizzi's name.

Handing me the phone I look down and begin reading the messages. I read through the words that were meant to hurt me, but I felt nothing. That was the feeling these days pure nothing. I pass him back the phone and shake my head. "So?" I ask. I was beyond done with Lizzi, I didn't have time to dwell on her or her words.

"I just thought you should know. Even if you guys aren't friends anymore... I knew one thing about your guy's relationship and that was no matter what kind of shit you two were in. You could always talk to each other. But now that I'm seeing the messages. I can see just how alone you are." he says.

Wrapping the covers around me I look at him weakly. "I don't wanna talk anymore. I just wanna go back to sleep." I tell him.

He nods softly and stands up beside the bed. "If you have a bad dream again, I'll be here to hold you until you stop crying." he says.

I watched as he slowly made his way to the door to see if I'd change my mind and let him stay with me for the rest of the night. But I said nothing and he eventually left. Left me to face this never-ending nightmare on my own, like I had wanted. Sitting there on the bed, I thought back to the dream, it brought a horrible chill to my spine and I hated it. It was like fear crawling over me making sure I never would forget what he did to me.

If I hadn't left all those bad memories would have been wiped from my brain, and I wouldn't have to feel the fear everytime my father's face came to mind. It made me wonder why I left in the first place if I hadn't left I wouldn't feel so...alone. 

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