Chapter 15: A Lot Like Him

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~(Y/N)~

~Dream/Memory~

A senior in high school the relief of my freedom was round the corner with graduation in a couple of weeks. The hell I had spent in my father's custody would scar me forever, my mother didn't give a damn and I had no other living relatives to live with.

So, I suffered in silence waiting, there was no use contacting anyone I had no phone and my father had cut the landlines to prevent me from doing so. And when I would arrive home he'd lock me in my room where the windows had bars on them. It was just as bad as being stuck in prison.

One evening I had arrived home late, I was with my best friend Derek although my dad didn't know. I quietly opened the back door entering the kitchen. The lights were off and the tv was on blaring one of my dad's tv shows. Quietly entering the kitchen I turn and close the door.

Then, suddenly the kitchen light turned on. Slowly turning my head I find my father standing in the archway staring at me. A bottle of Budweiser in his hand and a five o'clock shadow. "Where the hell were you?!" he slurs.

He was beyond drunk. There was a wobble in his step as he charged for me. Dodging his attack I push myself against the counter watching as he fell to the floor coughing. "You little bitch, where were you? Out screwing I assume? You're such a damn whore (Y/N)." he slurs before standing up.

"I-I was studying... I have a test tomorrow-

He struck me on the cheek with the back of his hand creating a loud clap. "Don't fuckin lie... who's the boy?" he asks.

Looking at him in disbelief I place my hand over my cheek. "T-there is no boy-" He then splashed his beer on me wetting the front of my shirt.

"You're such a fuckin liar," he growls.

He took hold of my hair next. I wanted to hit him, I was going to hit him. Balling my hand up into a fist I punch him square in the nose. I could hear a cracking sound as I punch him. He released me and stepped back taking hold of his nose. "You fucking bitch!" he snaps.

I stood there holding my fit from the slight pain of punching him really hard. Again, he grabbed my hair and pulled me out of the kitchen. I tried clawing my way out but there was no use the only way out was to cut my own hair and even I didn't want to do that.

When we reached the stairs he grabbed my arm roughly, digging his nails into my skin. He then threw me up the stairs causing me to hit my door. Curling up next to my door I try to quickly reach for it and walk in but he charged at me again, he kicked my side hard almost knocking the wind out of me.

He kneed me in the face a couple of times before grabbing a fist full of my hair. "Ever do that again and I'll bury your ass," he growls. With that, he opens my door and kicked me into my room.

The sound of the door locking was somewhat relieving. As I sat there on my floor I could hear him calling my name. "(Y/N)," he repeated. His voice began to fade as the vision too began to fade into darkness.

~Dream/Memory Over~

"(Y/N)!" I hear a familiar voice call. My eyes shot open as I got a slightly blurred view of my father's face. Jolting up I push myself away from them. I let out a terrified scream before trying to kick them away.

"(Y/N) it's just me... Eren!" Eren says.

Quickly rubbing my eyes I look back finding Eren there, I hadn't realized it much before but he had a lot of the same features as my father. He was basically a younger version of my father without the gold eyes. How could I not have realized that until now? Am I slowly forgetting him.... What about mom? Lizzi?

Shaking my head I sit up and try to take a deep breath. "Y-you better go." I sigh. Eren stood there with a determined look on his face.

"No, I want to make sure you're okay," he says.

"Please! I'm fine!" I snap.

He quickly stood up and sat beside me. He had a very annoyed look on his face, it definitely reminded me of my father when he was annoyed. "Eren, please! Go!" I yell. I hoped Levi could hear me from across the hall wishing he'd come in and order Eren out.

"No!" he snaps back.

I sat there frowning as I held myself. I felt my lip quiver as I tears built up in my eyes. Eren's expression turned soft and regretful. "Oh... shit I'm sorry (Y/N)- I- I didn't mean to make you cry!" he says, he scooted closer and placed a hand on my back.

Suddenly the door burst open. "Why aren't you in your cell Jaeger?" I hear Levi ask. Leaning over I saw Levi's dark expression as he stood in the doorway.

"I was- I heard (Y/N) screaming- I'm going," Eren answers as he quickly stands up. Walking away he turned back and smiled at me before waving. Levi then raised one of his fists causing Eren to flinch and rush out of the room.

Levi soon entered the room shutting my door behind him. I cover my feet with the blanket as I sat there shaking in fear. As Levi came up to the bed he sat beside me, he looked at his hands quietly. "Did Eren do anything?" he asks.

I shook my head quickly. He let out a sigh before turning to me. "Another nightmare?" he asks.

I nodded my head before looking up at him. "That's the third time this week.... People are going to get annoyed hearing you scream every night," he says.

"I-I know," I answer softly.

His hand patted my thigh softly in a comforting way. "I can see if Hanji has any," he suggests.

"I doubt there is any medicine that will cure my nightmares." I sigh.

Levi nodded before looking forward. "Are they memories?" he asks. Looking over at him I dart my eyes back, now looking down at my shaking hands. I heard the sheets shuffle as I slightly look up finding Levi looking back at me.

He was still waiting for my answer. I simply nodded my head. "I can't help it," I mutter.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he then asks.

Sitting up I purse my lips together. "I thought you weren't going to make me?" I ask.

He moved closer before shaking his head. "I'm asking if you want to, I'm not saying you have to," he answers. I looked down at my hands again unsure if I was able to tell him.

"M-my, dad... he started abusing me after my mother left him." I mutter.

He turned and faced me with a calm expression. "She left when I was eight. And my dad... he started to drink and he was worse when he was drunk." I choke up.

Quickly wiping the tears I shook my head, holding myself. I held myself as I looked at the sheets. "How long did you live with him?" Levi asks then.

Looking up, I noticed his expression seemed a little saddened as if he were feeling sorry for me. "Ten years," I tell him. Looking back down I let out a tired sigh almost yawning. I should probably go back to sleep. Then suddenly I felt a hand slap down on my wrist. Looking down I find Levi's hand curling around my wrist, squeezing it gently his thumb caressed the side in a caring way.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

Taking my hand out of his grip I purse my lips together. "I'm gonna go back to sleep," I tell him. He nodded before standing up, he stood alongside the bed watching as I laid back down.

"I'll lock your door for you so Eren doesn't barge in." he offers. Nodding my head I watched as he slowly made his way to the door. As he stepped out I let out a sigh before laying my head down and closing my eyes.

~Time Skip~

I fell to the ground hard, letting out a tired sigh I laid there catching my breath while Levi straddled me. Again he had pinned me down, we were practicing in the private training room early the next morning.

"Again," he says as he climbs off me. Slowly getting up I stumble to my feet getting back into a defensive stance. Watching as he charged at me again I dodged him at first, he began to throw punches. Then, his foot lifted as he went for a roundhouse kick. Grabbing his leg I pull his leg trying to trip him.

Kicking his other foot out from under him he came tumbling down onto his back. Quickly straddling him I pinned his arms above his head before letting out another tired sigh. "I win." I breathe. He looked up at me with a smirk, releasing his arms I sit back and wipe my forehead.

This time he flipped us over, now I was on the bottom. He pinned both my hand up keeping me from struggling, only I was completely done with the training. "Come on!" I complain.

"Don't let your guard down, even if you're tired," he says. Levi smirked as he stayed straddled on my hips.

Then, he began leaning down towards me, eyes on my lips just like what happened last night. Since my arms were pinned down I couldn't move much. I tried kneeing him but he didn't budge. "Okay, okay! I get it! Let me up." I beg.

He let out a hum before standing up. When I stood up the door to the training room opened and Hanji walked in. "Oh, hey guys... (Y/N) can I talk to you?" she asks.

Turning to Levi I watched as he nodded. Walking over to the door I made stood next to her. Hanji held a small notebook that looked new. "What's up?" I ask.

Her hand jolted forward handing me the notebook. "The 57th expedition is coming up in a week and I want you to jot down whatever Eren does if he's to assume titan form," Hanji says.

"Where will you be?" I ask I was only allowed to study my position which wasn't hard, it was with Levi.

"I'll be with Erwin... he has something planned," she whispers.

Pursing my lips together I nodded. "I'll be ready to write anything down," I tell her. Smiling she patted my shoulder before leaving me. Letting out a sigh I turn forward and look down at the notebook. I felt like I was slowly beginning to forget things... with each passing day of being here, I've become more forgetful. I seriously need to get back... after the expedition, I'll ask Hanji to help me find my way back.

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