⚠⚠Trigger Warning: The content and discussion in this chapter deals with Eating Disorders which might be triggering. Much of it will be emotionally and intellectually challenging to engage with. Read at your own discretion. ⚠⚠

I HEARD a knock at my door by noon on Saturday and knew without a doubt that it was Kelvin.

"Hey," I said when I opened the door, mustering all the warmth I had left into the greeting.

Kelvin was wearing grey sweat pants and a black, round neck t-shirt with a minion animation drawn on it. He looked better than me as I had on a black gown. I wasn't in a great mood and my clothes indicated it.

"Hey back."

"What do we have here?" I asked, looking at his left arm that was cradling a brown paper bag.

"Cupcakes."

"Not bad."

"Are you feeling better now?"

I nodded and took the bag from him as I showed him in. I went to the kitchen and came out with two untouched boxes of pizza, and a tube of ice cream with disposable spoons. I'd ordered pizza earlier since I knew Kelvin planned to show up.

I dropped the food on the couch and pushed the center table to one side. Then spread a comforter on the thick rug at the center of the room. I got normal pillows from the bedroom and threw them on the comforter.

"Couch or comforter?" I asked Kelvin.

He was already on the three seater and he looked comfortable. "Couch."

"Okay. One for you, one for me." I handed him a box of pizza and took the other. I settled comfortably on the comforter.

"What are we watching?" Kelvin asked. He took a piece of pizza and shoved it whole into his mouth.

"That was gross," I said when he looked at me. "I have Spartacus, Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder. Which one do you like?"

"I'll go with Spartacus."

"Unusual, but okay. Ice cream?"

"Do you have to ask?" He swallowed another slice of pizza. "This is good."

"Do not choke. I don't have the energy to slap your back."

"I've mastered the act of gobbling down my food without choking. Didn't you ever attend a boarding school?"

"Thankfully, no. Do you need anything before the series start?"

"I'll have water."

"I got you."

I went to the fridge and brought back two bottles of water. Kelvin thanked me and focused on the screen. I ignored the slices of pizza on the plate and did the same. After few hours of utter concentration, Kelvin paused the TV. I looked at him and saw him looking at me.

"Aren't you going to eat that?" He pointed to the piece on my plate and I took a bite. He watched till I finished the large piece before looking back at the screen.

I excused myself after a minute and went to the bathroom closest to the living room. I opened the toilet lid and retched into the bowl, making sure I emptied my stomach content. I didn't know how long I spent leaning over the bowl, but when I stood up to go wash my mouth by the sink Kelvin was standing by the door. His arms were folded and his eyes guarded. He came closer, and I moved past him to rinse my mouth.

"The door was opened," he said like that was enough reason for him to invade my privacy. "I came to check if everything was okay when I heard noise. How long has that been going on?"

"What?" I made a confused expression.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You see, I've been wondering about your sudden weight loss, social withdrawal and that fainting spell that occurred yesterday. Don't tell me it's what I think it is."

"Which is?" I asked with my head held high even though that required a lot of strength.

"You've not been eating. I've not seen you put food in your mouth in weeks, and the only time I actually watched you do that you ran to the bathroom."

"So?"

"So we're going to the hospital, you need help."

"I do not, you're imagining things. I'm fine, let's continue the movie."

"No way in hell I'm leaving you in this house today, we're going to see a doctor. Have you looked at yourself lately?" Kelvin stood beside me at the sink and pointed to the mirror. "Look," he said.

A drop of tear threatened to fall down my cheek and I wiped it off violently before it could.

"Let's go." Kelvin took my hand when I refused to look at my reflection.
When I didn't bulge as he tugged, he lifted me into his arms and matched straight for the door. I tried to talk him out of his fancy ideas as he put me down to open the door but he ignored me and I started to cry.

"Shh. I'm getting you help," he said before lifting me to the car.

Kelvin walked me into the hospital and I was taken to a room by a nurse after Kelvin went to the receptionist. A doctor walked in with Kelvin by his side. I tried to give a small smile to show him that I was okay, but my face crumbled and I started to cry. Kelvin rushed to my side handling me a box of tissue and patting my back without saying a word. The doctor who looked to be around my age waited for me to gather myself before asking some questions. He drew blood from my vein afterwards and asked me to relax.

WHEN I WOKE up, Kelvin was still by my side reading a magazine. I tried to raise my left hand and noticed a needle sticking inside my vein feeding IV.

Kelvin looked up and smiled. "Just relax, you're going to be fine. You lost lots of fluid, try to get more rest." He came close to me and brushed the hair off my face, he stroked my hair until I fell asleep.

I spent a total of seven days in the hospital. I saw the same doctor who admitted me, he was the one assigned to me and he informed me that I had a type of Eating Disorder. After treating me for Ulcer which he explained was an effect of starvation, I was introduced to a Psychiatrist for Psychotherapy followed by a session with a Nutritional Counselor. I was exposed to the damages I did to my body and mind and was put on antidepressants during my stay.

Kelvin was present for some of my therapy sessions since the doctor said I needed a family or friend support. He was my only friend and I didn't have a nuclear family. My only extended family was never in one place for long, so he was pretty much unreliable. Kelvin also reassured me about work saying he told the boss about my condition, I got several 'get well soon' messages from few colleagues.

Most of my therapy sessions were devoted to analyzing the eating disorder and telling me ways to get it under control. The first time I was asked about my family, I walked out of the therapist's office. Things got better as time went on and I opened up more. I was given several books and charts by the nutritionist, who explained that I didn't have to be so obsessed with losing weight by starving myself, because there were healthier options. I learned about healthy carbohydrates and low calorie meals.

I joined a support group and did yoga while in the hospital. The atmosphere was generally warm and friendly apart from a patient beside my room who was constantly moaning out in pain. In any case, I felt more confident and was happier by the time I was discharged from the hospital. Kelvin came around to take me home. I got drugs and supplements from the nurse. I also got the time for my therapy sessions, and I was advised to take it seriously as I checked out.

As Kelvin drove out of the hospital, I breathed in the air void of the choking smell of disinfectant that clung to the hospital walls. Kelvin helped me into the house and deposited me on the sofa. He opened the windows in the living room and kitchen so as to allow fresh air in.

"I got someone to clean while you were away, so you can relax and not worry about cleaning," he said when he sat beside me.

"Thanks...for everything." I was so lucky to have him as a friend. I couldn't express my appreciation in words. I moved closer to him and hugged him as I tried not to cry.

"It's okay," he said when I sniffed. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on?" he asked when the hug ended.

He never asked me anything while I was in the hospital. He had supported me without urging for an explanation and I forgot that he'd ask for one when I got better.

"I didn't want to bother you with the details," I said.

"Really?" He drew closer to me and took my hands gently. "Do you know how worried I was? You almost died, getting out with only ulcer is a miracle."

"I know."

"You could have damaged your kidney, brain or something else that is just as vital and irreplaceable."

"I only wanted to lose weight."

"I understand, honestly I do. But you should have confided in me, don't you trust me?"

"Of course, I do. I was just emotionally unstable."

"You still haven't told me what made you decide to starve yourself."

"I guess it was just the compilation of every loss I had been through. My breaking point was definitely when Gwyneth got my spot, all the emotional trauma I had swept under the rug resurfaced and here we are."

"How could you keep so much to yourself? I kept asking if you were okay, but you brushed me off."

"I just didn't think you would understand." I looked away as I spoke.

"I do. I hated seeing you like that at the hospital. God, I was so scared."

"I was too. I didn't know it was going to get this far, now I'm stuck with so many drugs."

He smiled when he saw me smiling. "Serves you right. I checked your fridge and there's nothing in there, you know we can't have that."

"Yea, I'll go shopping for groceries later. I need to see a dentist too; my teeth were affected by the constant vomiting."

"We'll see the dentist tomorrow. You need groceries ASAP."

"I'll get those myself, I'm stronger now."

He raised his brows at that and I sighed. "We'll get them together." When I tried to talk, he continued, "Someone has to monitor you, I want you to follow all the advices of the nutritional counselor."

"I will. Trust me, I'm never going back to doing that."

"I trust you, but you need help."

"I don't want to take you anymore away from your girlfriend. You've done enough."

"Nonsense. I'll tell you when you're imposing and right now you aren't."

"Thanks. I don't know where I'll be without you."

"Shush. You would have done the same, perhaps more. We need to get you the hair supplements, some of your hair fell out while you were recovering."

I rubbed my head. "It's not so bad. I can get wigs if it gets any worse." I looked around my baby pink walled living room. "Where do we start from?"

"Groceries and supplements first. There's a gym near the office I can enroll you in later. You can continue with Yoga if you prefer it, but you must talk to your therapist before taking on something else, understood?"

"Yes, sir. Can we go to the mall?"

"Not we. I'll get the things you need, just give me the list."

"You said we'll go together," I grumbled. "I need to see something other than the hospital walls or this house."

"Are you strong enough?"

"Dude, I do Yoga now. I can handle a little stroll."

"Give me a smile then."

I blessed him with a grin then went to my bedroom to change. I didn't want to go to the mall in the clothes I wore from the hospital. All the clothes I found in my built in wall closet were too loose so I kept rummaging till I found some spandex tights and a mid-length shirt.

"I'm ready," I announced once in the living room. I followed Kelvin out of the door and asked him what had been bothering me as I sat in the car. "Did you tell anyone at the office exactly what was going on, I mean the diagnosis?"

"No, never. I told them you caught something, and the doctor said it was communicable so you couldn't come in to work less you spread it."

I laughed at his version. "That's one heck of a lie, but thanks. I'm not comfortable with sharing my trauma with anyone else yet. Is that the same thing you also told your girlfriend?"

"Close," he replied, simply.