WE GOT out of the car and Kelvin helped with the grocery bags from the back. I tried to carry some but Kelvin stopped me, so I was left with opening the door for him as he made several trips from the car to the kitchen. When all the bags were safely inside, I shut the door and joined him in the kitchen.

"I hope you know you're done with soda?" he asked, resting his elbows on the counter top.

"Of course. I learnt a lot during my stay at the hospital and refined sugar is a big no-no for now."

"I'm glad we're both clear on that. I was also advised on ways to cope with your situation, so you have the best support system you could ever ask for."

"I appreciate that."

"If you don't mind my asking, why didn't you ever say something about your parents?"

"You never asked," I said. That still wasn't my favorite topic of discussion. I bit on my nails as Kelvin looked at me.

"I'm asking now, don't shut down on me."

I busied myself with taking groceries from the bags onto the counter. Kelvin was still waiting for an explanation. I paused and words came out in a rush. "They died in a car accident, I have no siblings. The only uncle I know doesn't stay in the country and he doesn't really keep in touch. The end."

That wasn't exactly right, my uncle had tried his best when my parents died. He had been grieving and I had been in denial. He had also taken me in while I was still in secondary school and couldn't care for myself. As soon as I got admission into a university few years later, he had left the country. I couldn't blame him thought, it couldn't have been easy taking care of your dead brother's child who unfortunately looked every bit like him.

Kelvin came around and took me into his arms, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck enjoying the warmth radiating off his body. I tried not to think too much about what I'd just said and the feel of his chest distracted me enough. We stayed like that for few minutes before Kelvin took his hands off my back and I stepped out of his warmth.

"I'm talking about it with my Psychiatrist, so you don't have to worry. I never really dealt with their passing, I guess I just didn't know the correct way to." I closed my eyes tightly so I wouldn't cry. "Binge eating helped, but it was the worse way of coping. I guess eventually, we all have to face our demons."

Kelvin tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and didn't say anything. I went back to arranging the groceries while he watched. I filled the fridge with fresh, organic vegetables and fruits, then shut it with my hip.

"I bought you protein shakes, they're like pre-exercise snack," Kelvin said.

"Okay." I listened, trying not to miss a thing.

"For drinks, since you don't like plain water, the nutritionist thinks you can supplement it with lemon water, green tea or you can infuse your water with those berries I bought overnight before drinking."

"Noted. That's a great alternative, I'm looking forward to this lifestyle."

"Yea. We don't want to overwhelm you with too much. Just follow the instructions in the books and charts you were given. You'll have some cheat days but it'll be vegan options. I know a place where you can get vegan pizza and hamburgers so you won't really be missing the normal pizza."

"How do you know all of this?" I sat on one of the stools beside the granite counter top.

"I was counseled separately. Didn't I tell you that?" I shrugged and he continued. "Apparently, close friends and family members need to be coached in situations like yours so they can offer better advices and also know how to cope."

"So we're all coping."

"Exactly."

"Thanks for the help. I can't thank you enough."

"Thank me by taking better care of yourself, and don't scare me like that again. Maybe you don't know it, but you mean a lot to me."

"And you mean a lot to me also."

"Good, good. I want the best life possible for you and I want you to be the very best version of yourself."

"You know it." I made a clink noise with my tongue.

"I'll make you salad now."

"Okay. Can I make for a week?"

"I'm not sure, but you can ask your nutritionist. I don't know if it's healthy for you to have it for so long, I'll make for today and tomorrow."

"I'll check with him then."

"You do just that. And also, you don't have to come in to work till Wednesday."

"What will I do with all that time?"

"Rest, eat healthy and talk to both your therapist and nutritionist; this can't be overemphasized. Take your meds also, please."

"Yes, Papa."

I watched him as he washed fruits and vegetables with water mixed with vinegar. He began slicing and chopping the mix into a large bowl. Kelvin got a smaller bowl from one of the drawers and served me the salad.

"No dressing?" I asked when I found no cream as I moved the mix with my fork around the bowl.

"I don't know how to make healthy dressing. You can check online but for now, just eat and fill your tummy with this."

Kelvin sat beside me as I ate and gave me a wink when I finished. "Call me if you need anything," he said as he got up to leave.

I followed him to the door and we exchanged a quick hug before he left. I returned to the kitchen and took my drugs.

KELVIN KNOCKED at my door the following morning before going to work, he was dressed in a dark blue suit. I tried not to be embarrassed since I was still dressed in my nightgown which I picked from the maternity section of a clothing store. He either took no notice of the awful garment or reserved his comment because he didn't talk about it, he instead asked what I had planned for breakfast and left few minutes after he got an answer from me. He hadn't bother to come in, he just stood at the entrance and hurried off when I gave him an appropriate question.

I took a stroll when the day got brighter then settled at a park to watch the traffic move from the west. I watched two little kids playing and laughing and I tried to emulate them. I laughed at nothing and relaxed into the concrete bench. It wasn't hurting my ass yet. That was an advantage of being fat that was universally overlooked. I could sit for long on the hardest surface, because my body fat served as padding and cushioned my bone against the hardness.

I thought of going back home as the sun came out and my cotton top got wet from perspiration, but I sat still despite the heat and watched kids playing with their parents. Schools were on holidays, I deduced as I took in the population of kids running around. When a kid pushed another off a swing, I knew it was time to go home. I walked home with my hands in my track pocket, and smiled as I heard conductors shouting their destination from moving yellow buses.

I went to my bedroom once I got home and took off my clothes. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot shower, I didn't spend so much time washing the sweat off my body. As I laid in my large bed looking at the ceiling, I didn't know what to do with myself. Maybe it was time to decorate my bedroom. The wallpaper wasn't matching my current mood, it was yellow and bright. It gave off a fake happiness, I wasn't even that happy.

I got my laptop bag from the ottoman at the foot of my bed and removed my computer. I searched for wallpaper colors online and realized decorating was a long term goal for me, I couldn't do it in the few days I had off. I took my parents black and white photo that I'd placed in the photo frame on the bedside drawer then traced my fingers over their faces. Trying to conjure my memory of them was proving more difficult as time went on. I could only remember how they used to read me folklores.

I dozed off while thinking of my parents and woke up when I heard a ping coming from my phone. It was a message from Kelvin asking if I was doing okay, I replied with a long text reassuring him that I was fine and ended it with an emoji to lighten the mood. When Kelvin later stopped by at my apartment after work to check on me, he came holding a bag filled with vegan hamburger.

"You can't be serious?" I was beyond repulsed.

"Try it," he said while taking off his blazers. He undid the top buttons of his shirt and reclined on the couch.

"Ew, no way. I have an eating disorder, yes but do I have to eat this shit? The answer is no. Why is the meat made with cauliflower? Are you trying to kill me?" I was standing and looking down at him.

"It's not as bad as you think, a taste will convince you. You're judging a book by its cover."

"That's no fault of mine, this cover sure doesn't look appealing."

"Eat the shit, dude."

"For you." I relented and took a bite.

"For me," Kelvin said as I chewed.

I took another bite of the offensive burger. The punch of spice hit my tongue and I could taste the avocado sauce smeared on the wheat bun, along with the crunchy slaw that carried a bit of tanginess. The cauliflower itself was really spicy so the overall taste was greater than it looked.

"Hmm, not bad."

"See, I told you so."

"Don't gloat, it doesn't look good on you. Do you want anything to eat? Since you didn't get yourself some 'vegan' hamburger," I said, air quoting the word 'vegan'.

"Sliced fruits maybe. I ate a lot during lunch." He patted his tummy and my eyes followed the movement.

I couldn't help but notice how flat his tummy was compared to mine but I went to the kitchen to retrieve some sliced fruit before I sunk into that dangerous hole of depression. I loved myself, I was comfortable in my body, I reassured myself over and over till I felt better.

"You're doing great, sweetie," he said with a wink when I handed him a bowl of diced fruits and took the cup of smoothie for myself.

"Why are you always winking? I'm lost." I took a sip of my Kale and banana mixed smoothie.

"Lightening the mood, that's all. It's good to see you sticking to your routines." Kelvin picked pieces of fruits and popped them in his mouth.

"Feels weird, but I'll pull through." I sat on the sofa.

"You're doing well."

"I'm trying not to disappoint you."

Kelvin dropped his fork and looked at me. "News flash; You can't disappoint me."

"That's reassuring, thanks."

"Okay, babe. Don't go serious on me. I deal with enough of that at the office."

"Speaking of the office, how is it going?"

"The usual, nothing worth mentioning. When are you seeing your therapist?"

"Tomorrow, and I'll be seeing a dentist too." I twirled the straw in my smoothie cup.

"You know the drill, call me if you need anything," Kelvin said. He dropped the fork in the empty bowl and it clattered.

"I hear it so much that I could never forget," I said.

Kelvin stood and stretched. I took the empty bowl from him and dropped it in the kitchen sink before seeing him off.