Slowly, Nicholas withdrew his hand from my cheek and stared straight ahead for a moment before digging in.

"You had some soy sauce there."

I exhaled, wiping my mouth several times. I cleared my throat.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure," he said with coy grin.

We finished dinner, Nicholas continuing to be a gentleman and cleaning up before we settled in to finish the film. I lay my head on his shoulder, his fingers combing through my hair, soothing me through each devastating scene. Towards the end, Nicholas told me he related to Sara, Ellen Burstyn's character, the most, just like I did.

"She had unwittingly entered an environment that destroyed her, and no one was there to help her," I said, trying to hold down my sobs but failing. "The others knew what they were doing, and they were selfish. She just wanted to be with her son." I lifted the hem of my t-shirt to wipe my cheeks dry.

He nodded, agreeing with me. He did that a lot, agree with me that is, especially about my insight on the film.

"You wouldn't do anything like that for drugs, would you?" he asked after I had calmed, referring to Marion's sex scene. I became drowsy from his scalp massage.

"No." I yawned. "And I've never taken drugs in my life."

"Never?" He furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at me, and I peered up at him, giggling.

"They just don't appeal to me. Being the daughter of a control freak like my dad, I couldn't even dream of it. Plus, this film scared me straight."

He didn't reply to that, remaining silent until I asked, "Have you?"

"Have I what?" he asked, stroking my chin and jaw.

"Have you experimented?"

"In high school, but nothing serious. I think this movie scared me straight, too." There was a chill in his voice that I didn't like. It sounded more serious than he was letting on.

He wouldn't look me in the eye, asking me another question that made the tips of his ears red.

"Would you experiment with another girl, just for fun?"

"No. I'm not like that." I raised my knees, blushing in spite of myself. He drew circles over my heated cheeks with his thumbs. "You were imagining that throughout the entire film, weren't you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe... That scene at the end is hot. Victor and I had it memorized."

"Gross." He stopped stroking my cheeks. "That was the lowest point of Marion's character."

"We'd never seen anything like that before. The girls in L.A. were over the top, but they never did that. Victor said his girlfriend wouldn't do anything more than kiss a girl."

"Is Victor your older brother?" I remembered some photos of them together in his Facebook album.

"Mmm hmm."

"He showed you a lot, didn't he? Stuff real girls never do."

"More than I care to remember," he said shuddering but with a smile on his face.

"You're lucky. I wish I had siblings growing up." I stood up and stretched, turning on the lamp on my night stand. Nicholas turned off the TV.

"You're close to that Billy guy, right? That counts." His voice was forcefully light. When I faced him, he had his hands behind his head, his eyes liquid, as if his mood were about to change any moment.

"I am. He would be the closest thing to a brother I could have." I climbed back into the bed, but didn't lie down next to him. Instead, I knelt at the foot of the bed. He rubbed the back of his neck. Oh boy. I think I only saw him do that now when he was upset. "He's a great guy."

"He's on your ringtone singing, isn't he?"

"Who? Billy?"

"Billy..." he said with an edge in his voice.

"How did you know he sang?" I pulled the sheets up over my chest. I knew the answer to that, though, which spurred a pointed look from Nicholas.

"He's a great singer," he said sardonically.

I gulped, my heartbeat hammering in my chest. That familiar feeling of being exposed and violated returning. Why did I have to put every single part of my life in a status update?

"You look guilty of something," Nicholas said, dropping his arms to the side. "Anything I should know about?"

I remembered his jealousy over my relationship with Billy when we bumped into each other at the Times Square train station: Nicholas thought Billy and I were dating.

"Billy has a girlfriend. I told you."

"That won't stop him," Nicholas said under his breath.

"We've been best friends since high school. I just don't see him that way."

"He's a man." He scratched his temple. "He's never gonna be just friends with you."

"This is-"

"Change the ringtone." A cool order.

"Oh, please!" My fiery hot response. "I'm not gonna do that just because you feel insecure over nothing."

"You won't change it?" He crossed his arms.

"This is ridiculous. He's my friend. He's hours and hours away. You have nothing to worry about."

"You're saying you won't do this for me yet you expect me to stay away from Briana?"

"That isn't the same thing!" I slammed my fist onto the mattress. "Briana's the devil as far as I'm concerned." Here I go, waving my neuroses.

"It is. You're jealous. You become infuriated every time she comes up."

"Not even close. She's a slut who slept her way into an internship that was mine!" How dare he pigeonhole me! My issues with Briana went far beyond petty jealousy, like a song on my cellphone.

Nicholas sighed. "And how do you know that?"

"There was only supposed to be one position available. One! And how else could she be there if she failed Porter's class?"

"Who's Porter?"

"Our professor. Look, she blackmailed him, I know it!"

"How? Do you have proof?"

"Quit playing devil's advocate. She wanted to be an intern more than I did. And God save me, the only thing Briana loves more than herself is being a thorn in my side. She has since freshman year. You can't begin to fathom the hell I've been through because of her."

"Who gives a damn?" He scooted over to me, grabbing my fists and opening them up. "Why do you let her get to you?" he asked quietly.

"Why are you acting like nothing I say matters? I'm asking one thing of you and you won't listen!"  Fabulous. I sounded like a banshee, again! Very sexy, Miller. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He's not my father. I didn't need to try so hard to prove myself to him.

"Just as you won't," he replied, staring at my cell phone on the nightstand.

"You're saying if I change my ringtone, you'll ignore that cocksucking whore?"

He burst out laughing at my sweet nickname. "It's called compromise, Katherine."

"Billy's my best friend. I'm not gonna... And she means nothing to you," I said, yanking my hands out of his and forming fists once more. "Why can't you drop her?"

"Okay," he said, pushing the sheets off of his lap, getting out of bed. He picked up the carton of cigarettes and matches he had on the nightstand. "Two reasons. One..." He looked down at me with an unwavering gaze. "I need you to understand that when I ask you to talk, I want you to talk."

I snorted.

"I know I don't tell you everything..."

"You're like Fort Knox."

"But I just had to get you to open up," he said, continuing as if I hadn't interrupted him. I threw a pillow at him, which he caught and held at his chest. "You were so upset. If it's because of something I did, I want you to tell me. Don't give me the silent treatment."

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. "So, you're telling me you brought Billy up just to get me to talk about Satan's spawn?"

"Sort of," he said, dangling a cigarette between his lips. "Change your ringtone."

"Nicholas, come on."

"Katherine." He flung the carton on the nightstand with a half smile on his face. "I'm serious. Do it."

"Mmm hmm, okay. So, what's the second reason why you won't drop Briana?"

He glanced at me, then at the floor. He lit his cigarette, and I inhaled it deeply. It smelled too good. "You've gotta understand, I'm just talking to her. You don't have to feel this way, so jealous." He became introspective. "But dropping her is something I can't do."

"Bull. You don't want to drop her. Why?"

"You don't understand. She knows a lot of people. In those ten minutes we spoke, she said her mom was close friends with David Mamet. Do you know what that kind of connection would do for me?"

Connections. Ugh. Did he have to use that word?

"Briana is the last person you should connect with. She'll want something in return. She'll make your life a living hell."

"I can handle people like her," he said, dropping his ashes onto a plate already piled with ashes from yesterday. Of course you would say that. Of course you could handle anything.

"It's not like her mom is the only person who knows David Mamet or any other playwright on Broadway. You can network with dozens of other girls who aren't the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler!"

Nicholas cocked his eyebrow and grinned. "Impossible. All of you chicks- I mean-"

"You might want to try that again," I said, giggling.

"I have to network with everyone I meet right now," he said in a matter of fact way. "Even Hitler, as you put it."

"Well..." I bit my lip. "What if I knew someone?" Phoebe was a much better contact than Briana Taylor. She would help him without demanding much, if anything from him.

"Who?"

"One day you'll meet her... if you quit kissing Briana's ass and be good."

He took a final drag, squishing the butt of the cigarette onto the plate. Now, my room smelled of Nicholas Phillips, and I was dizzy with ecstasy.

"I'm always good. I kept my hands to myself all weekend, didn't I?" he hopped back onto my bed, sitting next to me cross-legged.

"True."

He kissed my cheek. "Alright, who's the lucky girl who gets to meet Nicholas Phillips?" he asked, mimicking Briana's swoon from earlier.

"Someone you already know. Phoebe."

It was perfect. She was practically begging me to hang out with her all the time and their parents were married at one point... for a couple months, but still. They had to have known one another, and she seemed like the type to have genuine friends and a huge network. Also, she was loaded. She'd help him out.

Nicholas coughed. Then, he paused and leaned back against the headboard.

"So, Theresa will help me out?"

"Sure. Phoebe, too. She has money of her own."

Nicholas grimaced, playing with the tips of my hair, then said, "I don't think involving Phoebe is the best thing right now."

I scratched my head. "What? Why?"

"You just...can't trust her." He shut his eyes.

"What are you talking about? You haven't seen her in years."

He just shook his head, and I found myself at the onset of another argument with him. Jesus Christ, this man! Maybe film was the only medium on which we'd agree.

"That... arrangement didn't end in the best of terms, you know?" he said more like a statement. "Theresa probably doesn't even remember me. She marries often and has a long list of stepchildren. Evanson's the last name of one of her ex-husbands."

"Hmm. Well, she knows me, though. She likes me."

"Katherine, you really don't have to do this. It's kind of unnecessary. I network well enough on my own."

"Oh, right, I've seen that firsthand. You pick your connections wisely," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I don't think Phoebe is any better than Briana."

"Briana's rotten to the core. Hannibal Lecter wouldn't even eat her."

Nicholas shook his head. "Phoebe isn't who you think she is. It's been a while since the annulment, but I doubt she's changed."

"She's the one who helped me prepare for the internship. She bought the tablet for me, too. She didn't have to do that. I don't know who she was before, but she's cool now."

"What if you're assuming the same things about Briana?"

"Nope, I'm not. There's a big difference. Phoebe doesn't have cloven feet in her Louboutins."

Nicholas laughed that hearty, deep laugh I couldn't get enough of. When he quieted down, he went on about Phoebe, anyway.

"Just keep your eyes open."

I nodded, but didn't take him seriously. Whatever Phoebe might do wouldn't kill me. He wouldn't even tell me what she did, so why would I stop being friends with her? Unless she killed a baby or pillaged a town, I'd be cordial with her. She was Ms. Evanson's daughter, after all. Talk about an important connection.

Briana was another story for Nicholas. She would ruin him if they got any closer. Who knew where Shawn Edwards was these days?

Probably dead in a ditch after driving off the road to get away from that psycho.

Nicholas agreed that he would act like he had never met Briana. He was so keen on resolving this before bed. I had never known a guy to do that. My dad never did, that was for sure.

I told him I would keep my ringtone. Billy was my friend. When he came back in September, Nicholas would meet him and see how great he was. And he would see how much Tori had him wrapped around her little finger. Billy wasn't a threat.

"Are you gonna like any of my friends?" I huffed, to which he nodded.

"Sure. Just neither of those two."

I threw a pillow at him.

With all the lights off a few minutes later, we cuddled while Nicholas smoked another cigarette. I breathed him in.

"Those smell so good. Have I told you that?"

"No. Usually..." he stopped his thought. Then, "I think you're the only one I know who likes it."

"Let me have one," I asked him, propping myself up on his chest.

"Katherine..."

"Just to taste."

He shook his head and took a drag. And as he exhaled, I shimmied up his chest and brought my lips to his for a better taste. His tongue was sour and so bitter and dry, but perfect. Still, it wasn't enough. I wanted to taste him all the time.

"Gimme one." I moaned. When I pulled away, his right hand slid down my throat, stopping at my collarbone. "Give me yours."

He licked his bottom lip, suddenly worried. He squished the half-smoked cigarette on the plate.

"Nicholas." I pouted, then sat up, letting the sheets fall away from my body, enjoying him ogle me. My nipples hardened, appearing like gumdrops beneath my t-shirt.

I straddled him.

"I don't want you to start, okay? This isn't good for you." He sat up.

"Secondhand smoke is no better," I whispered in his ear, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed his earlobe.

"I'll stop, then... I need you to be healthy," he mumbled, running his thumb down my spine.

"You're healthier than I am." I murmured, holding his shoulders, loving the feel of his hands caressing my bottom.

"For now." He stopped caressing, pulling away from my hug to look into my eyes, "I'm in this for the long haul. So, I'm gonna stop. I want to wake up and see you, and keep seeing you."

"They're just cigarettes. They aren't opiods or even a prescription. This isn't the movie. I'm not going to end up in some psych ward like Sara or a prostitute like Marion."

But he was deadly serious when he said, "I don't know what I would do if I lost you, Katherine. I don't know what I would do."

He was so serious, I realized this had to deal with more than just me or the movie.

"Did something happen to Liam?"

He shook his head, no, so I made a second guess.

"Is this about your mom? Did she end up like Sara or the others?"

He shut his eyes, leaning his forehead against mine, remaining silent. Then, he opened his eyes. Shiny and liquid, they were about to change at any moment. He blinked a couple times.

"I'll stop tonight, okay?" He sniffed. "I won't do this again. You can't change."

"I won't," I said, keeping my tears at bay, my voice shaking, "I don't break promises."

His eyes showed an intensity I had never seen from a man before. It was desperate and deep. Infinite.

I had so much to learn about him. Whatever it was, I could handle it. His pettiness and possessiveness would go away eventually. The closer we became, the more he would trust me.

I would be better than Diana.

I wanted every morning to be like this one, with my dreams of swimming in the seas in his eyes.

I wanted every night to be like this, with his touch warm on my skin, the scent of him all-encompassing, his deep voice like home. And his eyes would be the last thing I would see at night, bringing forth more dreams of deep green seas in which I would lose myself.

In his eyes, this forever was as true as mine. I couldn't imagine things could get any more intense than they were before, but in this moment, our forever was as potent as fire and as significant as love. We didn't say that we both felt this, this love. It was too soon to say. A few days together wasn't enough to make the declaration. Despite this, I vowed to spend the entire summer showing him exactly how much I did love him.