Nova's aesthetic ~

Woo-hoo! Yay for early chapters! This chapter was already in the works so it was a lot faster for me to work on. Quick note: the beginning is a bit sad, so brace yourselves.
Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! <3

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In a New Bed by Matt Maltese

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"I want to know what to do with the dead things we carry."

- Aracelis Girmay

~ 5 years ago ~

Seattle, Washington

Aedrienn

—————

Pain. All she could remember in this moment was pain.

Glass bit at her cheek where she laid on the asphalt, and she felt something warm trickling down her forehead. She didn't know where she was and kept her eyes closed, but as the feeling started returning to her legs, her arms, as she started coming out of her delirious state, she understood what had happened.

"No. Please, no," she whispered, and still she refused to look for fear of what she'd find.

But then she heard a small, painful grunt, the broken sound of her name, and she opened her eyes to see her older brother Mason laying across from her.

The sight send a burst of panic to her already aching chest, but if she concentrated enough, she could pretend he was okay, could pretend that his extensive injuries were just illusions of the everyday, mundane things that he did.

She could pretend that the blood pouring from his mouth was toothpaste from when he'd brush his teeth. She could pretend that the gaping hole in the side of his head just looked like that because his hair was messy and he always ran his fingers through it. She could pretend that the blank chestnut-colored eyes that now stared back at her own were just red because he was a surgeon and he hadn't slept in days.

But the longer she looked, the more the injuries stuck out. And she understood that the voice must've come from someone else.

It wasn't Mason that had called out her name.

No...it couldn't have been him.

Because Mason was dead.

—————

Aedrienn woke with a loud gasp, her heart pounding so hard inside her chest she was certain the whole house could hear it.

She tried to calm her breathing, but when she wiped at her forehead - and mistook the sweat on her hand for blood - she couldn't help the bile that rose up in her throat.

Tripping over her tangled sheets, Aedrienn barely made it to the bathroom attached to her room before she threw up the contents of last night's dinner into the toilet.

She began to shake, violent tremors taking over her body. Fearing that she might faint like last time, she curled up into a fetal position on the floor, and she pressed her fist into her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that escaped her.

All she could do at this point was wait. Wait until the worst of it had passed. Wait and wait and wait until she was sure she wouldn't vomit anymore and could stand on her own two legs. Wait until her tears stopped.

After about an hour, they finally did, and somehow she was able to gather enough strength to sit up, leaning all her weight against the cabinet. When she opens her eyes, she finds herself in darkness.

The only trace of light now comes from the lit-up lampposts outside her street, coloring the white bathroom tiles with an orange glow as they shine through her bathroom window. The sound of gentle, soft rain splashing against the roof calms her raging thoughts, enough for her to wonder if this would ever get better.

The nightmares began five months ago, just days after her father and brothers passing - but the tremors and panic attacks were the most recent, and every night, for the past three weeks, they never failed to show up to terrorize her. The nights were getting longer, and for some weird, odd reason, she left like she was running out of time.

Emotion build up in Aedrienn's throat, thick enough to choke her, and she couldn't help but wish it had been her that died that night. Because maybe then, just maybe, she wouldn't have to endure this, and perhaps Mason and her dad would be alive, and even though she wouldn't be, she'd be at peace, and she'd just sleep and sleep and sleep under the deep, rich, cold ground where no one and nothing could hurt her ever again.

These thoughts were reoccurring, too, and every time after she'd have them, Aedrienn would think of herself as such a waste - a complete and utter waste of space and life and breath.

She remembered how many people, some of which she knew and others whom she didn't, came up to her at the funeral. Those who didn't know her personally shook her hand or squeezed her shoulders, but they all said the same exact thing: how lucky she was to have been the only one to survive. That she should be grateful she was given a second chance at life.

On that day, Aedrienn had left her body, had successfully managed to suspend time and be absent from the world, if only to endure the memorial service. The whole day she hadn't spoken a word. She didn't cry, didn't move - and if she was being honest, she couldn't even remember how she'd gotten to the burial site in the first place - but the one thing she did remember of that day was how much she wanted to claw at those people's faces. How she wanted to somehow take all their words and shove them back down their throats. She didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to hear any of their pitiful banter, because what did they know about this type of grief?

But they were right. She should be happy and she should be grateful and she should love her life.

But she couldn't. She couldn't move on, and until she was ready to, every night would be just like this one. And maybe that was okay, maybe this was what she deserved.

A groan escapes Aedrienn as she makes herself stand up, a hand on her lower back as she limps towards her desk. Some nights the tremors weren't as bad, but others were enough to cause her physical pain. Tonight just happened to be one of those nights.

She sinks into her chair, ignoring the pulsing sensation on the sides of her head, and glances at the clock on her nightstand.

It was three in the morning - way too early considering her first class didn't start until eight a.m., but she knew she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Instead, Aedrienn opened her laptop and began to catch up on some assignments for class. Granted, she was already days ahead, but between this or reading a book, her options at what she could do during the middle of the night without waking everyone up were fairly limited. And so Aedrienn just threw herself into her studies like she always did, and before she knew it, rays of light spilled into her room, indicating that the sun was finally rising.

—————-

"You look like death," Nova says as she approaches the table.

Aedrienn lifts her head up from the textbook she was reading, giving her childhood best friend a pointed glare. "Yeah, and I feel like it too."

"Here." Nova hands her a cup of coffee, and Aedrienn's eyes light up like a little kid on Christmas morning. "You need it more than I do."

She gives her a grateful smile. "Thank you."

Nova takes the seat across from her. "You've been looking really tired lately. Like, really tired. Like, your eyes look-like-a-raccoon-tired. Is everything okay?"

Panic fills Aedrienn's chest and she's quick to shake her head. "I'm fine. It's just that I already have a lot of work that's due. But how are your classes going?" she asks, hoping that Nova didn't notice the change in subject. Her best friend knew nothing about the nightmares nor the tremors, and Aedrienn decided it would stay this way, at least for now. Nova didn't need another reason to worry about her.

Aedrienn sighs in relief when she shrugs off her comment and takes out her own textbooks, their previous conversations now forgotten.

"Hard," Nova grumbles. "Painstakingly hard. I can't believe we don't have any classes together this semester. Who the hell am I going to copy off now?"

This made Aedrienn's face light up with amusement, her heart lighting up just a bit, and she found herself grateful that Nova was who she was.

The girls had been best friends since they were six years old. They first met in second grade, in their school playground when a boy pulled on Aedrienn's ponytail, causing her to fall back and dirty her pretty pink dress. The boy and his group of friends were laughing, then they weren't when Nova suddenly came up to him and punched him square in the face.

Actually punched him.

The boys ran off then, terrified of the fiery girl, and Aedrienn would've been too had Nova not extended a helping hand towards her.

"Are you hurt?"

Aedrienn, too stunned to speak, just shook her head and accepted Nova's help.

"You wear a lot of pink - and white," Nova said, slightly disturbed.

Aedrienne stared at the girl in bewilderment, wondering if that was meant to be a compliment or an insult. "Well - well you wear a lot of black and red."

"And? There's nothing wrong with that." Nova snapped, a sassy tone covering her words.

Aedrienn signaled to her clothes. "Just like there's nothing wrong with me wearing pink and white."

And they had just stood there, staring at each other. Then -

Nova gestured toward the swings. "Wanna play with me?"

Aedrienn's face lit up with joy. "Yes!" she exclaimed, and from that day on they were inseparable.

Even after thirteenth years, nothing had really changed. Nova still favored her black and red clothing, usually paired up with her favorite leather jacket and combat boots. And with her curly long hair and red lipstick she wore often, she reminded Aedrienn of a rockstar.

And a rockstar she was. Nova was her defender, her cheerleader in everything she did. Even during the first few months when Aedrienn refused to get out of bed, Nova would be there - every single morning pounding on her bedroom door until it annoyed Aedrienn enough for her to get up and open it. Nova did everything she could to keep her best friend moving - breathing - and Aedrienn was certain that if she didn't have Nova when she did, her grief would've consumed her more than it already had.

And as Nova read her textbook and began taking notes, her face scrunching up with confusion at the content in front of her, Aedrienn couldn't help but dream of the day when they both became doctors.

"Thank you for the coffee," Aedrienn says, picking up her backpack and tossing the cup into a nearby trash can. "I'll see you after class."

"See ya," Nova says and waves goodbye as Aedrienn walks down the hallway.

Her first class of the day was Physics lab, and as usual, Aedrienn was the first one to arrive. She quickly greets her professor and sits at the lab table closest to the front of the board. Call her a teachers' pet, but Aedrienn took pride in how hard she worked in school, and her grades were the proof of that.

And honestly, it wasn't like she had much of a choice. When your mother resented you for her husband's and son's deaths, you learn to compensate for it in whatever way you can.

Ten minutes later, dozens of students begin to file into the classroom, and the professor stands up, preparing to give his students the lecture of the day.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

Aedrienn shakes her head, not bothering to remove her eyes from the board. "No, it's not. You can - "

Then she turns, and the words die on her tongue as she sees who it is.

Elias Luca stands before her now, a smug yet amused expression on his face. He arches an eyebrow and signals to the stool next to her. "So, is this seat taken?"

"Umm..." Aedrienn's at a loss for words. This was the boy she just saw yesterday, Mr. Luca's son - the one who offered her an air freshener for her car. And he's just as beautiful as she remembered, even though only eighteen hours had passed since their last encounter.

Today he had on a black t-shirt, similar to the one he was wearing yesterday, only this time he wore it under a black and green flannel. His jeans were just as dark, and the black and white high-top Converse shoes he had on only added to that rugged, bad-boy persona he was aiming for.

"So...can I sit here?"

She starts at the sound of his voice, and realizing she must look like an idiot with her mouth hanging wide open, she quickly nods. "Yes - yes, it is. I mean no! No, it's not," Aedrienn stammers, and she inwardly groans at the embarrassment of it. "I mean...yes. You can sit here."

Elias's stare lingers on her a moment longer before he lets out a low chuckle and slides into the seat next to her. "Good. Because there was no more space back there."

He was lying. She looked behind her shoulder to see that there were in fact several seats open, and for some reason, he chose to sit here.

Aedrienn tried to shrug it off. Maybe he just wanted a better view of the board, she thinks, but one week of school had already passed, and this was the first time she had seen him in here.

"Well this is a lovely reunion, don't you think?" Elias asks, playfully winking at her. "So, how's the car? Oh - please tell me you haven't forgotten about me so soon." He says when he sees the perplexed expression on her face.

"Uh...it's fine. I guess." She didn't really know how to respond, and she couldn't understand why, but she found herself nervous around him. Maybe it was because of the easy manner he carried himself with - or the fact that he looked like he came straight out of a dream. Either way, Aedrienn wondered why he even bothered to talk to her at all. 

A question danced on the tip of her tongue. "You attend UW? I didn't know you came here."

"Well," Elias tilts his head to the side, giving her a side-long glance. "You didn't exactly stay long enough for me to tell you."

"I - I couldn't."

Elias dips his head. "Understood."

She doesn't say anything after this and neither does he, and just like a blanket, she feels the awkwardness settle over them. Small talk had never been one of Aedrienn's strong suits, so she was grateful when the professor began teaching class, indicating the end of their conversation - but not the end of her thoughts.

She couldn't concentrate, for she was way too aware of the heat emanating from his body. The way she could hear his deep breathing - for the way he smelled. Like cedar and rain, with something else underlying it. It was refreshing - mint, perhaps? Yes. Definitely mint -

"Aedrienn? Aedrienn."

The stern voice of Professor Thorn broke her out of her day dreaming, and she felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment as all the students in the classroom stared at her.

She cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry professor - I...what was the question again?"

Her instructor looked annoyed, more than he usually did, and that was Aedrienn's indication that she really messed up and had completely missed the physics problem he had scribbled out on the whiteboard. Aedrienn just shook her head. "I - I don't know the answer. But I can solve it," she says, picking up her pencil - but a voice cuts her off before she can do anything else.

"The answer will be that mechanical energy is conserved, and after applying our formula we would calculate a total velocity of zero-point ninety-five meters per second."

Aedrienn glares in Elias's direction, but he just ignores her, smiling innocently at their professor.

He nods, pleased with the answer, and frowns at Aedrienn. "You ought to learn a thing or two from this one. Would benefit you a lot in this class. Pay attention next time," he says and moves back to the board.

"You're welcome for the help, by the way." Elias's voice is a teasing whisper.

Aedrienn grits her teeth. "I do not need your help for anything."

"Didn't look that way from here."

She whirls on him, and she would've flat out shouted at him too if she had the chance. "What game are you playing?" She thought Elias was nice - charming, even. Now he just looked like every other smug asshole who thought themselves better and smarter than she was. "Why - "

"Okay, class." Professor Thorn's voice booms through the lab. "We'll discuss your semester project on Friday. Have a good rest of the day."

The sound of stools scraping against the floor fills Aedrienn's ears as students start to leave, Elias quickly following behind them.

Slinging his backpack over his shoulder he gives Aedrienn a cheeky smirk. "I kept my promise that I'd see you soon, angel. And I'll see you again on Friday as well."

Aedrienn stares at his retreating figure in shock, but she doesn't have time to collect herself because he turns around once more.

"Oh, and Aedrienn," he calls, walking backwards as he addresses her. Aedrienn hoped he'd fall. "Let me know if you need any help with physics. I hear it can be quite difficult for some people."

He's out the door before Aedrienn can respond.

She stares at the desk in front of her, confusion clouding her thoughts.

What in the world just happened? she thinks to herself.

And did he just call me angel?