I screamed tossing myself onto my bed crying harder, 'why is it always me?' I thought laughing at how much of a joke my life was.
I cried more swiftly chugging down the bottle in my hands.I slowly wiped my hands on my pants thinking back to the one place where I was happy, where I was excepted and where I was loved "camp..." I whispered wiping away my tears, I climbed up the ladder onto my bed and retrieved the book I had received from camp from under my pillows.
Firmly gripping it as if it was the only thing keeping me alive I started rocking back and forth, I looked down at my chest noticing the things that made me scream almost every day and with them I noticed how much I loved being a boy at camp.
I felt so happy there. They let me sleep in a boys cabin and I was in a boys group, it was literally the best experience I've ever had, but ever since I've been back everyone's making me act like a girl... I cry myself to sleep every night and when they aren't looking in the day I cry then to.

I cry harder remembering all of my friends and all of the people that called me by the name that made me cry with joy thinking back to it, I missed how they would say my name 'Toby' it was the best feeling in the world, I miss it I fucking miss it so much I'm constantly just stuck in my room because I'm to afraid to leave. I can't take it much more, "hmp...only seven months left, then I can go back..." I said aloud to myself crying into my hands.