If only it was 

something out of a dream

a nightmare

something that I could wake up from

{If only it was...}

If only it wasn't real

that it was something like a melody

or the pouring rain

after a horrid storm

{If only it was...}

If only I was ready

I knew it was coming

I knew that already but I still

I wasn't ready for it so soon

{If only it was...}

If only I was prepared

I brought the items necessary

but not the actual item

It's not here with me

{If only it was...}

If only I was smarter

I said no more mistakes

yet I've made a horrid one

one that would haunt me for a while

{If only it was...} 

If only I had grabbed it

I knew the time was coming

I knew I should've grabbed it

now I won't see it for weeks

{If only it was...}

so for weeks, I'll have anxiety

a noncalming heartbeat

that goes so fast you think you'll die

if only I had waited

{If only it was...}

If only I hadn't waited

then I wouldn't be feeling like this

panicked and alone

with no sense of comfort but shame

{If only it was...}

If only It was a nightmare

something I could open my eyes from

this is something I swear I'll regret

so goodbye crochet comfort

ill see you when I do