Ab pet nahi cheeroge? (Pet cheer dungi will always be my fav tho😂)

Wo toh hai!

Ok. Now, Praanju recieves spoilers from me like Dev mar jaayega, kahani tragedy hai. I like ghoomao-ing her! Isiliye don't trust spoilers from our dear Pranju

Meme maker bahut cute che😂

Happy Reading💜

Days flew in front of Sona's eyes but the flashes of Dev's confession never left her. He didnt need to tell her that he loved her, it was obvious and so was the fact that he wasn't going to accept her.

"You deserve better!"

"I am not worth it! Don't waste your life after me!"

"Move on! I'll put your bio on a matrimonial site."

He kept pushing her.

__________________________________
Asha walked into Sona's room. It would be another eight hours before she could see her daughter's face. She looked around the room. An air of renunciation hung around it. The ghosts of all the memories of her daughter lingered around and stared at her face.

Asha wondered what kind of memories Sonakshi's room harboured? Maybe of a girl who came smiling from outside and as she entered the room, she would rip her mask away, melt on the bed and cry. The room would have wondered, perhaps, what was it's fault that she cried as soon as she was in here or maybe, maybe the room would have been as comforting and understanding like a mother's bosom. Maybe that's why she was so fond of her room! It had seen the best and worst of her! It had seen her raw, bare, naked and wounded and it had tended her like a mother should.

Asha fought her tears. She looked at Sonakshi's personal library and then she moved to linger around her writing desk. She saw two identical diaries kept on it. Both had a brown cover.

"That must be Sonali." Asha said pointing to one of them.

"Looks like she has replaced you too." She told Sonali. She held contempt for the new diary.

"But what did you do to get replaced? Well I got replaced by Bijoy. I deserved it though."

Sonali stayed quiet. A concoction of emotions was brewing in Asha. She opened the diary.

"That's strange." She observed. The greeting Dear Sonali was missing from it. Asha used her other hand to open the first page of the other diary, in blue ink two bold words welcomed her - Dear Sonali. She flipped through the pages.

She began reading her recent entries - the only way to know what was happening in Sona's life!

"If this is Sonali... What is this?" Asha thought and sat on Sonakshi's bed.

Page after page transported her to another world; a world of children. Children in orphanages, in villages on difficult terrains, in a school close to cease fire violation prone borders, in the servant quarter of a castle, in a corrupt minister's family, in a village surrounding a national park and the kids try to stop poaching there, in hills where man eating carnivores dwell, in the Sunderban and children trying to drive away men who wanted to cut trees.

All of them matured early due to circumstances and fought with their hardships with exemplary courage. They were rebels, fighting against the wrongs of the system.

A prayer was scribbled on the next page. It caught her attention. It was a prayer she hadn't recited in quite some time now. Some particular paragraphs drew her attention.

Ho mere dam se mere watan ki zeenat,
Jis tarah phool se hoti hai chaman ki zeenat.

And then there were notes:

You don't need to be the Prime Minister to serve your country. You can be a street dancing doctor who can spend her time in an orphanage.

Each flower's smell and radiance manifests the beauty of the garden, in it's own way.

There was another similar note below the lines:

Mere Allah burai se bachana mujhko,
Nek jo rah ho uss reh pe chalana mujhko.

Give me strength to talk to my mother, maa. I should talk to her now. In your name let me find my courage. Durga Durga.

Asha turned another page and began reading the outline of another story.

It talked about children of prostitutes in a brothel. It talked about their playful days and the nights in which they were locked up in a seperate room away from their mothers but when they sneaked out for food they could hear screams and shouts of women. It talked of a girl, who at the age of 13, had started dressing differently and had been allowed to stay in a seperate bedroom whilst the other kids were still locked together at night. Her friends had started missing her and when they sneaked out one night, they found her struggling beneath an uncle's weight. She was screaming, shouting for help. She was barely able to breath. The reality of their identity dawned on them. Then began a session of interrogations by the kids of the elders. The boys and girls, alike tried to take the aid of policemen and other adults to help their mothers and other aunts out of the place but when no one helped, the story took a brutal turn - the mistress of the brothel was killed by the same 13 year old. The slaves were freed and the brothel turned into a house for several women and children. The police were stopped from arresting the teen by the threat of evidences against them collected from the days when they had tried to aid the running of the brothel.

Asha flipped a few more pages. Sonakshi was extending this story into a novel.

Asha had barely closed the diary, when she heard a voice.

"Oh!"

She saw Sonakshi standing near the door of her room.

"You've been writing short stories?" Asha asked her.

"You have read them, I believe."

Asha had stuck her finger in the middle of the pages like a bookmark. Sonakshi took the diary from her and read the first few lines of the story Asha was reading.

"Who are you writing this for?" Asha asked her.

"Who ever will read." Sonakshi said.

"They are all stories about kids. You want them to read that story of prostitutes?"

"I want them to learn courage and compassion. I used to read these stories to a bunch of kids at an orphanage at Shimla. The last story, it is a miniature version of a novel I am working on."

"Sonakshi, I am sorry, I think prostitutes and sex slavery is not age appropriate for children."

Sonakshi smiled.

"This particular story is for adults. It's to urge them to take up their responsibilities or their shadows will fall on innocent kids. It's to tell you guys to end what you started. To make you brave. I want to scare people with this story."

"Sonakshi ... This will take ages to get a publisher."

"I know but whenever I'll get on to publish it, I will not change the story line. I will improvise but not change. Life has taught me that."

"Sona ... Beta..." Asha was trying to look for words to change Sonakshi's perspective.

"You know what my favourite song is these days? Nanhe Munne Bacche. There is this line in it, bheek me jo moti mile wo bhi hum na lenge, zindagi ke aasuon ki mala pehnenge, mushkile so ladte firte jeene me maza hai. You should listen to those brave words in kiddish voices. There is so much hope."

Asha stared at her daughter in disbelief. The girl in front of her was modified version of the Sonakshi Bose she knew.

"You know you get your love for books from me." Asha said.

"I know. Baba told me. He told me a lot of other things. He told me that I get my tendency to love from you too." Sonakshi said.

"I -"

"He is says I am brave like you but I have this quality of being outspoken which you don't have. I am headstrong, he says. He says I take no nonsense from nobody. He wishes that if you had had these qualities around 30 years from now, Maa, he would be happier. If you had had the courage to stand up for Aadyot, or Aadyot had courage to stand up for you, Baba would have been happier." Sonakshi felt like venting out all her anger that day. She couldn't live with the burden of all those supressed emotions.

"I think he is wrong. My Baba is wrong. He was one fierce lover. He loved you his entire life and didn't ask for anything in return, not even respect! To grow, I need to forgive you but from where I see, you look too miserable that I only feel pity for you."

Asha tried not to sob.

"Sonakshi. Aadyot and I loved each other. We wanted to get married. We had everything a good relationship should have - understanding, friendship, passion but we lacked on two key virtues - courage and trust. Courage, I took with me the day I, a married woman, a mother, submitted myself to him. I was finally ready to fight the society ... but he only desired me, he couldn't fight for me. Sonakshi, I ... I gave him the strength to elope for our love but I couldn't make him trust me enough to let me talk to his parents. He didn't trust me enough to stand by him. Men don't fancy woman that are stronger than them. Perhaps that's why he tried to make me forget that there were more pressing issues in front of us with the way he ... "

Sonakshi blinked.

"A daughter shouldn't hear this. I know." Asha continued after a pause. "But, the only thing I can give you is the lessons I learned through life. Let me tell you Sonakshi, please sit... Aadyot and I, had a strong, passionate relationship but it was weak. It vanished once it was out in the open. It gave pleasures behind a closed door but was a travesty when faced with challenges. I, like a fool even after being faced by the reality of being thrown away by Aadyot could never move on."

"Why are you even telling me all of this?" Sonakshi asked her.

"Because, I am seeing you standing at the same position on which I was standing 30 years ago." Asha pointed at Sonali. "The only difference is that, Aadyot knew that he won't be able to stand by me and still misled me to break all my boundaries for him. I have read about Dev. Sonakshi, he has misled you into hating himself, so that you move on, find a better man. Sona! There is no better man, beta. Don't let him slip away. Try all that you can to break his shell. Sonakshi, that man is a gem! Don't lose him."

"It's too late." Sonakshi said.

"No! No, Shona, it's never too late!" Asha said.

Sonakshi stared at the woman in front of her in disbelief. Asha Bose's entire life had been ditched by love and yet she was pushing her towards Dev, towards love.

"I'm sorry, Maa but I can't forgive you. I tried. You are giving me advice but I..."  Sonakshi looked down at her hands. Her voice choking with the strain of her emotions.

"That's life's punishment for me. I accept it. Can you atleast do me a favour?"

"Yes."

"Keep your happiness close to yourself and don't create another Bijoy Bose. Don't create an unintentional casualty because of your feelings." Asha said.

Asha was always the image of the parent who stayed behind for Sona. She was always a responsibility Sonakshi had to take care of. Asha cared for Sonakshi yet was never much of a mother to her. Sonakshi was a soul Asha could call her own but she was always selfish with her. She treated her according to her mood swings.

This was there first real mother-daughter moment!

Sonakshi got up wiping her tears. It was a chance she was ready to take. She wasn't going to let Dev slip away.

The next month marked Sona's renewed efforts to make Dev reconcile.

She talked to Nisha about Dev's condition. There was nothing more that could be done medically. Dev would take the 'voices' to his grave. Emotionally, Sona was advised to ensure that he was fine. His emotional stability should be her topmost priority but not realising, how her efforts to make him accept her could affect his health, Sonakshi kept pressing him.

Then suddenly, Dev went missing for a week from the set and when he came back he clearly told her -

"I am no puppy you found on the street that needs your attention. I am fine Sonakshi but if you'll try to pressurize me I might lose my sanity."

"Dev I-"

"I hope you'll understand. Thank You."

"Dev... Dev please try to understand."

"I am lucky I met you. I am fine believing that what we have shared till now is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I will live with this feeling forever. Please cherish what we have... HAD .. What we had. Please, Sonakshi move on. My brain cannot take any more pressure."

"I was just trying to help."

"Thank you. I appreciate. Move on."

His words killed her. Every move on from his mouth killed her but she couldn't let her emotions spoil his health. So, Sonakshi swore not to do anything that could harm Dev after that.

Months began passing. The pain became constant but latent. They couldn't become just friends, they had shared too much to become friends. Their eyes became silent, no emotion reached up there. They functioned like everyone else. They were breathing but the spark of life had left them.

Dev had started putting more emotions into Sahil. All of the fandom, many critics had started applauding his refined acting skills. Sonakshi too was crafting the script with even more care. SaHat's love story had to be the best even if her own love story couldn't reach it's destination.

Caring for SaHat and their details became their secret way of contacting each other. It gave them the vibe of being away but still being close together.

It was time to work on SaHat's marriage now. Their timeline had reached '96 from 1990. Showing family pressure tearing down their story was unavoidable for now and it wasn't easy for Sonakshi to write the fall out of Sahil and Chahat. So she ensured that it was handled as tenderly as possible, without any over the top drama and third angles. It was written to give sadistic pleasure!

According to the script, Sahil and Chahat were meeting after a period of heart break and estrangement.

Ishwari wanted to create a dream sequence here. Sahil and Chahat would be rooted on their spots while their inner selfs would come out and dance. It was meant to be a visual treat.

"Visual treat ... My foot! They'll look like overgrown kids trying to hop around." Sonakshi said but how Ishwari turned her script into visual reality was no longer her business unless she tried to sabotage the basic elements in it. She had learned to stay in her professional limits.

She saw Elena and Dev rehearse and the feeling of his going away increased. She could feel her pain but she couldn't do anything about it. She looked on as the dance master choreographed their song. Elena was a good dancer and she complemented Dev. The fans loved their pair and Sona... Well she felt jealous at times. Even when she tried to control her emotions she couldn't like their offscreen bond.

The shot was ready.

Lights!

Camera!

Action!

Tumse mila tha pyar
Kuch achche naseeb the
Hum un dino ameer the
jab tum kareeb the

In a minor eye contact, Sonakshi told Dev that the song suited them so much.

Pyar ka milna hi to sab kuchh...

Tumse mila tha pyar
Kuch achche naseeb the
Hum un dino ameer the
jab tum kareeb the

Tumse mila tha pyar
Kuch achche naseeb the
Hum un dino ameer the
jab tum kareeb the

Suno zareen
Zindagi sirf amrit hi
Nahin zehar bhi hai
Aur phir zara sochho...

Socha tha may hai zindagi
Aur zindagi ki mai
Socha tha may hai zindagi
Aur zindagi ki mai
Pyaala hatake
Pyaala hatake teri
Hatheli se peeyenge
Woh khwaahishen
Ajeeb thi sapne ajeeb thhe
Tumse mila tha pyar
Kuch achche naseeb thhe
Hum un dino ameer the
jab tum kareeb the

The dialogues of the male lead felt like Dev was trying to console her. She had learnt to act in all these months. So she behaved like she didn't care about the song, it's lyrics and the way it suited them.

Still the broken dreams and hopes danced in front of her as the song played ahead. She turned her back to the scene. She could not move on. She wanted to disappear, so that he would realise how being left behind felt.

Ye sab toh teek hai lekin
Main ek baat puchhta hu

Poochenge ek baar kabhi
Hum tumse roothkar
Poochenge ek baar kabhi
Hum tumse roothkar
Hum mar gaye

Sona clutched the end of her kurti

Hum mar gaye agar to
Aap kaise jeeyenge

Woh khwaahishen ajeeb thi
sapne ajeeb the
Jeene ko tere pyar ki
Daulat mili to thi
Jab tum nahin thhe un
Dino hum bhi gareeb the

Tumse mila tha pyar
Kuch achche naseeb the
Hum un dino ameer the
jab tum kareeb the

Sonakshi controlled herself and turned around. The entire crew was clapping. Dev and Elena had perfected the scene in a single take. Everyone had praises for the duo but Dev had eyes only for Sonakshi. Even after all the love, he was helpless.

They yearned for each other and in the never ending cycle of hope, despair and yearning a year passed.

Precap - Party!

A/N - The ff will end. It has to end but there are still couple of chapters to go for that. Stretching anything beyond a point ruins it.

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