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5.2 Guilt

Beth had felt like crap for two days now. Finding Carl's empty room had shaken her up and when he hadn't turned up, she had assumed the worst. It would have been easier to handle had she expected it and in hindsight she should have. Now however, she had been reduced to waiting for news of his success on the two way which had strangely fallen silent. So while the guys unpacked the car and went about their business, Beth waited and chewed over her part in his leaving alone.

Carl had been a huge asset to the team, a driving force that kept them on track and quite often kept them alive. The thought that he might not come back, scared the crap out of her and the thought that it may already be too late, that he might be laying just over the horizon being fed upon, killed her inside. Like the parent of a lost child, told to stay home and wait for a call, she waited and wished there was something she could do, anything would have been something.

When the two way crackled into life and Carl's voice spat out of the tiny speaker like a ghostly apparition only half there, Beth almost fell off her chair.

"Can you read me?" Carl ended his request as she fumbled the mouthpiece in her panic.

"I read you. Carl is that you?" The question felt weird, but Beth didn't care, she had to hear it.

"It's me." He paused for a moment before the radio crackled again. "The call was a trap."

"What?" It didn't register, nothing made sense. "A trap? Where are you?"

"We are at the RAF base, our car ran out of petrol and I can't walk."

"RAF?" The questions were piling up fast and Carl's tone suggested there wasn't time to answer them all. "Carl, who is with you?"

"He's not human... Umm." Beth listened, trying to make sense of the situation. "He's umm... A thing."

The description dumbfounded her and she didn't know how to start thinking about it.

"We need help, can you come and get us?"

"Yes, I'll come." The question raised emotions she didn't want to think about now. Carl was alive and that was all that mattered. "Of course I will come."

"What about the others?" Carl questioned.

"I'll make them come." Beth spoke as a tear rolled down her cheek. Even if they didn't she would go alone, this her chance to make up for things.

"It's dangerous here. Be careful."

"Tell me everything I need to know now."

Beth listened as Carl relayed details of his position and immediate surroundings. His voice was strong, but underneath was a shake she had never heard before, it was hard to tell over the two way but something about him was different. In all the time she had known him, Carl had always had a confidence, as if he knew he was right and although he wasn't arrogant about it, somehow it showed through.

Carl was halfway through relaying the crazy events when Jace walked in.

"Is that Carl?" He spoke over the top of the two way, causing Beth to miss what Carl was saying.

"Carl, Jace just walked in." She interjected when he stopped for a moment.

The questions poured in and she only had half the answers. In the end she sent him on an errand to find Dan just for the breathing room. Carl seemed to have picked up a little knowing that Jace was on board and willing to come help. In all honesty, Beth was happy as well, it had been a confrontation she hadn't been looking forward to, trying to get the others to go and now it seemed like a complete non event. As weird as Jace could be, it was still good to have him onside and if her own feelings were anything to go on, then she was right in thinking Jace had his own guilt to absolve. The big question now would be Dan.

Dan it turned out was not such a big issue either. While he had been opposed to helping a stranger and rightly so, he pointed out, he was all for rescuing their friend. While he had only known Carl a short while, he had respect for the guy, in his own way. And so it was with nothing more than a vague notion of what they were up against that they packed the car.

For the first time in a long time they seemed to have an oversupply of good weapons, although Dan still gave Jace shit about grabbing an a pneumatic nail gun and not thinking to grab the compressor to go with it. Instead they each chose a long and short reach weapon, Dan being the only one with a long range weapon, which he claimed adamantly was 'not much fucking good for anything'. To which Beth replied 'Then why carry the fucking thing?' In her most sarcastic voice. There was a feeling of urgency, overshadowed by a feeling of self preservation and nobody wanted to go off half cocked.

"Damn." Jace piped up loudly. "How are we going to drive out of here without letting the zombies in?"

"I've been thinking of that too." Beth spoke still checking the first aid kit. "One of us will have to go out on foot."

"How the fuck is that going to work?" Jace spoke before he had even thought about it.

"You lock the door and go out through an emergency exit on foot, you fuckwit." Dan grinned at Jace.

"Why me?"

"That's how it is done." Dan stopped smiling to only to glare. "I didn't mean you as in you. Fuck that, I'll do it. At least I can trust myself to lock the door properly."

"We will wait for you down the road a little." Beth tried to hide the worry.

"Don't worry about me." Dan flashed his smile again. "You're the one babysitting him."

"I suppose you will want one of my handy tools?" Jace tried his best to get his own back while holding a garden fork.

"I have my bat." Dan countered.

The two arguing in such a childish way was actually helping Beth's nerves. They were about to face something more terrible than anything before. Carl had tried to prepare her, but instead he had spooked her a little. The guys had sensed it too, and their petty arguing was just their own way of hiding their insecurities. They had good reasons to josh about as her mother called it, the world had gone to shit and you had to take what you could get.

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Tags: #zombie