Reaper's POV a few days later

I spent a few days giving Geno the space he needs. He clearly was unsettled by me and looking back I was a major creep. Not to mention the weight of the fact that I nearly killed him. I went home and saw in a mirror why he wouldn't look at me. My eyes look as freaky as hell, not showing any sense of sanity or security. No wonder he didn't trust me. But now I've fixed myself, thinking about what he said and I'm now strolling through the forest back to where he was staying to talk it through with him. I want to make it up to him and move forward.

But while I was walking through the forest, I heard running footsteps coming toward me. I turn around and dodge a fist, seeing that dumb Hunter guy as the culprit. Some annoyance came from within me, glaring at me. If his name weren't on my list or he didn't get involved with Geno, keeping him as his pet Shadow, I wouldn't have come so close to hurting my beloved Geno.

"It's a stupid thing to do, attempting to hit a god of death."I comment

"What did you do to Geno? Where is he?"He snaps at me

"I dunno, I haven't seen him. Maybe he realized how much trouble you are."I say

"Me? Trouble? Says the one who nearly killed him and stalked him who wants me to believe that he suddenly decided to leave him alone and didn't touch him! How much of an idiot are you?"He asks

"If it weren't for you keeping Geno as your stupid pet I would've never come close to hurting him! You were on my list! You were meant to die! I was supposed to collect your soul! He wasn't supposed to be your pet or involved! You got him involved and nearly costed him his life for yours!"I growl, taking out my scythe

I spun it and he backs up.

"Face it, you don't understand or know our relationship. You are in no place to say a word about it. I love him more than you can fathom and I will slice off my own hand before I hurt him. I saw that I was upsetting him, so I left him alone to improve myself for him. Now what did you do to Geno? I'm not dumb enough to believe that the guy keeping him in his house as his pet didn't realize that he was gone and looks for a scapegoat."I say

"I didn't know he was that owl! I thought he was just like any other critter in need of help! And don't tell me that I put him in danger when I took care of him while you were on your killing spree! I bet you weren't even looking for him! You should be thanking me for what I did! Or you would've found him crushed under a tree with wounds, if you found him at all! He chose to stay with me and it's not like he could talk to tell me that he was a person in an owl's body! And don't talk to me all high and mighty when you clearly lack self control! I have my own lover and I wouldn't do half of what you put him through! Period! End of story!"He argues back at me

"Oh, ladies, ladies! You're both beautiful! Now settle down, both of you are lost and don't have answers."I hear a voice say

I look over to see a goddess arrive, a bright ray of sunlight shining down on her. I tighten my grip on my scythe. I am getting so sick of others coming between me and Geno to have their fun or put in their nonsense for whatever reason they may have.

"Hello Reaper.~"She says

"Hi, Pearl. What the heck are you doing here?"I ask

"To keep you boys from bickering like kids with a proper explanation. You know my brother, right?"She says

"God of Misery, yep."I say

"Well he was bragging about the latest souls he caught under his power or the things their minds show to him. He was especially bragging about one soul's stories very proudly. Because what's greater than catching the God of Death's lover in his cages? He learned a lot from it and seemed to take extra pleasure out of twisting his mind. You know very well that I don't like my brother one-upping me in one way or another. So, I took him from my brother's trance and put him into his own Utopia, you could say. His world of paradise and pleasure, hence my title."She explains with a smirk

"Well bring him back. I'm going to take him home."I say

"And why would I do that?"She asks

"Because we love each other and you basically kidnapped him to send him elsewhere. There's no such thing as a Utopia or else if it did gods and goddesses like you would've left us alone so we could be happy."I say, crossing my arms

She looks at me with a puzzled look before smiling with a giggle. She looks to Hunter and nods her head, signaling him to leave. He smiles, nodding before leaving. I could've sworn I heard him thank her.

"Oh dear, all the reaping really twisted that mind of yours in a knot didn't it? You really don't know how this works, huh?"She says to me with a sick laugh that got on my nerves

As if I was a fool entertaining her.

"Geno is my lover and he is my source of happiness. He knows that too. I don't see what's funny about that. What part of that don't you understand?"I say

"Hmm, well you don't seem to undertsand my job and capabilities, Reaper. I looked into his mind and soul for what he looked for or dreamt of and made a reality where all that and more was there for him. Much more than you could ever give him. He's running about there happy as he can possibly be with more than he could've ever imagined to desire, a life of pleasure and no pain. And you want me, the one responsible for giving poor souls like him that, to rip him out of that reality and hand him back over to my brother where he is miserable and doesn't have that perfect life, just so you could be happy? Why would he want to come back to this reality where he doesn't even have his AU anymore for you if he could have the best version of his AU and the perfect version of you too? Cause honey, you weren't exactly on your best behavior the last time he saw you. Maybe it's time to let him be free of your selfish desires."She explains to me

I stare at her, speechless. I felt my eye twitch. Then I start laughing. I laugh harder than ever before and felt tears come down my face. I am so SICK and TIRED of this!

"Ooooh, that's funny. That is really funny. For a second there I thought you called me selfish even though you have no clue what our relationship is like. This is why I hate pesky gods like you. You all think you're so perfect or some kind of savior. You all are so happy and free without a care in the world but just decide to meddle with our relationship! Just cause you can! Just cause gods like you feel like it! It's wrong, forbidden, not according to plan, not right for whatever reason, just any reason you could come up with to make yourself feel right! I'm somehow shaped to be the one in the wrong just because I'm a god of death! He is hurt and torn apart or taken away multiple times just because gods like you deem it must be done! You all go on with your lives and I am left to pick up the pieces! I am so sick of it! I'm so sick of strangers telling me that they know better than me or telling me that I can't love him! That he is a mortal or something is wrong with us! None of you know! Yet you think you do and tear us down!"I yell at her, finally snapping

I didn't care, I couldn't keep it in anymore. My soul was breaking.

"But if we want to talk about sacrifices or selfishness, let's talk about that. I was working myself down to thin bones reaping souls while gods like you were partying or fooling around. I was broken just because of stupid mistakes other people did or other immortals' decisions! I was falling apart! Then he came into my life and I was better! I was happy! I was loved! Then my father disapproved. Other gods meddled and try to hurt him, experiment on him, he hired someone to get rid of him. All these awful things, just because he made me happy! Then my father tried to erase him from existence and I lost my shit! Was I wrong in doing so? WOuldn't you have done the same? But no, I'm not allowed to freak out like that because it's not right for me...He is so lucky he failed and I got him back. Then we tried to continue our relationship like before but no, that would've been too much to ask for from stupid gods like you! He kept getting taken or hurt one way or another from me because others thought I wasn't deserving of him or they deserved to have him! That they could perfect him or hurt him or toy with him and fucked-up shit like that! And that would be perfectly fine but the moment I get a second of joy with him, that's not allowed! Sounding fair yet?"I snap at her, stomping back at forth

She was silent, looking horrified at what I was saying. Dumbfounded even.

"I gave up my powers, my immortality just for some dumb, creepy, possesive jerks of gods not to hurt him or toy with his soul just because they felt like it! I broke things off from my father so he couldn't hurt my Geno anymore! Nobody knows how fragile a soul or person is more than I do! I have a deadly touch for fuck's sake yet everyone treats me like an idiot that isn't aware of it or some radioactive thing about to go off and needs to be contained! I was willing to give up a godly life, something I haven't seen any other god or goddess do, just so we could be left alone and happy! But no! He got pulled into trouble by meddling gods and I got forced back into my job! Then we went on dates but everyone looked down on us like we were some abominations just for being happy together! Some random god came along, meddling in our lives again and decided that our love was forbidden and sent him to a horrible afterlife! I fought demons and went into different places just to keep that jerk from hurting the love of my life! I had to give up all connections with him and have a memory wipe done just so that this guy didn't hurt him even more! Now take a moment to imagine something for me...."I scream at her, slowly calming down a bit

She was trembling now, seeing how the skies darkened the more I spoke.

"Imagine a loved one you have. Anybody just pick one. Now picture all your memories, the highs and lows, all contacts you've had, the pictures or bonds you have, all of the life you've built together after so long of being happy together. Now picture what it would be like if that person was sent away to someplace you don't know along with all evidence in the world that you ever had that life together was wiped away with a snap from some guy's fingers who doesn't know and just thinks they know better. Now imagine having all those emotions bottled up and going to see the wreckage left behind while all that love, memories, and evidence of a life that was torn apart only exists in your head! Now picture the torture of being unable to even process it yet before you are shoved more lists and sent to work cause souls won't reap themselves! Not a single question to how I am or what's wrong, just get to work already. Feel those emotions stew in you for weeks or months, wanting to find your loved one but wanting them to be free from all this nonsense. Imagine having to consider going through the rest of your eternal days without them there. I'll give you a minute...."I growl at her

She looks at me with growing shock and pain in her face, with signs of regret. I didn't care.

"Now you are in the middle of your job and find that loved one in disguise, but you've been driven so crazy by the emotions bottled up that you didn't realize it quickly and did the thing you swore you'd never do, hurt him and come seconds from killing him..Imagine having that guilt of that realization weighing on you and now the one you love most is scared of you. Then when you finally pull yourself back together and go to make things right with him, some RANDOM GODDESS drops in with a know-it-all attitude saying that they freed them from you because you were too selfish and dumb to understand that he was unhappy! And why did they do this? To beat their brother in a dumb competition because they HATE getting outplayed! Do not talk to me about being selfish! You do not live your entire existence dealing with shit, getting treated like you're nothing but a villain or trouble, and you get everything you want!"I yell out more, tears streaming down my cheeks

Lightning crackles and thunder booms, making her tremble.

"You talk about giving happiness but where did you consider that we could've been happy without you? You didn't save him! You used him like sevral other gods have! He...I...We have dealt with so much bullcrap from your kind of gods and I'm sick of it! I want to be happy! I want to be happy with him! I want to love him! Don't I deserve to be happy? Haven't I done enough to deserve that like any other immortal being? Huh? When do I get to be happy with someone special instead of a killing machine? Do I have to wait another eternity for gods like you to cut this out? Tell me! I want to know! I ask for one thing and one thing alone but that's too much to ask for when it comes to me. When it comes to him and I! It's so unfair! I do dozens the times of work you have to do or the shit that comes along with it! You make sunshine and rainbows and everyone loves you! I could reap a zillion souls and it still wouldn't be enough for everyone! I put up with everything and do all that I can but somehow I'm in the wrong...I'm the bad guy...I'm being stupid for loving someone....I'm so sick of it all....."I cry, broken in sobs as the anger drains me

Something snapped within me and then a giant wave of power went from me in all directions, wiping out the surrounding forests. I look around at the dead trees and grass, the skinny twigs or tumbleweeds of bushes and the dark clouds in the sky. I had never done this before but it was an amazing sight to see. Dozens of animals lay around, their souls soaring to me to collect. I turn to look at Pearl again.

"You haven't answered my questions..."I say

She couldn't respond to me. She couldn't think of an answer or didn't want to answer. She just stared at me speechless.

"Well, that's fine. You probably would've said something stupid anyway like everyone before you did. But I'm just going to warn you, I've only snapped once before and it didn't end well. Heck last time I didn't reach the point of unleashing that! So, I guess this will be fun for both of us to test out. Cause I'm soooo dragging you down with me for this. And I hope the competition was worth it cause you lost more than you gained. You made me miserable for your brother and I'm going to make who knows who else miserable. Call me when you decide to stop being a jerk and give me my world back."I say with a smirk that made her stare at me in fear

I wipe my tears and soar away, chuckling to myself and shaking my head. It felt good to let that all out but...I still miss Geno.

Geno....I hope you love your paradise....At least I'll be with you somehow...Just not the me I want....

TBC(sorry if this was too angst or vent-y, dramatic or whatever, I just felt like after the last few chapters Reaper needed a good vent chapter. Hope you enjoy the book tho and have a lovely day!)