EVENTUALLY IT GOT to the day when I had decided to study with Theodore. I was filled with reluctance from crown to toe (and Macbeth had properly fried my brain last year, I'd decided), but I couldn't back out now. Not when I needed this almost as much as Theo did.

So, like a thief frightened of being caught, I snuck out of house that night and headed towards the sports hall, before making my way precariously to the roof through the series of rather dark and slightly frightening stairs, lighting my way with my magic. Albeit, it only made it worse with the shadows. I was already regretting my choice of location, but it was a bit too late now.

He'd arrived there first, to my surprise. I'd already come out around five minutes early, but he'd still beat me to it. I made my presence known, purple flames still flickering in hand as I shut the door and moved towards him. Someone had set up some tables and chairs here some time ago, and students occasionally used it. But very rarely at night, I'd realised, which was why I'd chosen this particular spot in the first place.

Theo had summoned some lighting of his own as well. His magic was a deep, dark blue, almost somewhat similar to mine. In the magic light, he looked like a dark prince from a fairytale, which was not the way I ever wanted to describe Theodore Yu. But he was handsome, I'd give him that. It wasn't something anyone could particularly deny.

"Theo," I said in greeting, trying to break the silence.

He glanced up, dark eyes flickering over me. "Honoria. Glad to see you're here."

"What," I asked before I could stop myself, "were you worried I'd show you up? Don't worry, I'm not that kind of person."

"I don't know what to think of your person, honestly," he said, half-humoured, half-truthful. I blinked, unsure how to respond to that, but he didn't seem to be waiting for one. "Sit down, sit down. We don't have that much time to waste. I've reached a few issues in class over the past few days, was wondering if I could ask you."

"Be my guest," I said, one brow raised. "You're learning... the Basic Laws of Magic in Theory of Magic right now, right?"

"Yes. I understand that, it's not really that difficult. It's History I'm confused about. We're doing the Norman era, as you'd know, since you're in my class."

"Why yes, of course," I replied, rolling my eyes as I pulled out a chair and dusted the seat before lowering myself down and placing my laptop on my lap. "Of course I know that, yes. In fact, I sit just two rows behind you in History of Magic."

"I'm not fully comprehending some of the things being taught in class."

"Do elaborate, I'm not a mind reader."

I had a feeling that this was how everything was going to go. Constant jabs, backhanded compliments, wry and sarcastic remarks as we used each other for help. We would not get along. Not even provide the illusion of it. We would not let ourselves forget that we are meant to dislike each other, and wished to keep it that way.

I wasn't sure why we insisted upon it. It was rather immature, if I had to admit it myself. But it was how we were going to keep this going. I was almost certain of it. The moment we forgot our roles, how we were supposed to treat each other...

That was when shit would hit the fan. That was when the thin layer of civility between them would be removed forever. But she wanted to drag it out until then, because she really, really needed to do better in Artefacts. And there really wasn't anyone better to ask.

I was, quite simply speaking, out of choices. And out of desperation, we did things we normally would never do.

"I don't understand why the Jeruvian Laws were set in place."

The Jeruvian Laws. If you summed it all up, the law basically insisted that magic users would not be allowed to interfere with any kind of human conflict with their abilities. The law sounded good on paper, but in reality was basically impossible to actually keep in check. Hence, the Jeruvian Law was usually ignored, despite many attempts to enforce it.

"They were set in place because someone tried to assassinate William the Conquerer with a flying knife." And that wouldn't have been an issue, if not for the fact that the magician hadn't even bothered hiding their magic. They'd done it openly. And had been accused of being a witch and in league with the demon before being banished from society.

And the then-leaders of the English magician community had quickly decided that they were no longer allowed to use their magic to support any sides of human conflict. It was too risky. But there was no way to keep anyone in check, and plenty of magic could be used without being visible, so things had basically gone on as they were.

"But the law is absolutely useless."

"They didn't realise that at the moment, did they?" I'd read about the Jeruvian Law when I was nine. It wasn't interesting by any means, but it did later set up further laws about banning magic in direct view of humans completely. Hence why I'd looked it up either way. "Besides, having a law about it means that if it happens again, they could actually do something about it. If there wasn't a law, they wouldn't be able to punish people who attempt the same thing."

"But it was still useless. Why not set it up in a way where it's more specific and could be reinforced? And why worry about it in the first place? If they had revealed themselves with their abilities, and perhaps come up with some story..."

"Would the Church have allowed it?" I asked, one brow raised. "The Church would not have been happy with a group of people who have powers who don't seem to abide by anything in the Bible. Unless they decided to incorporate magicians into the Christian lore, they would not have happily stood by and allowed it to happen. And you have to remember, magicians have always been in the minority throughout history."

"I didn't think about the Church," he said, looking thoughtful. "Yeah, that does make sense now. The Church wouldn't have allowed it, and everyone listened to the Church."

"And thus, we'd have been outcasted at best, killed at worst." I nodded. "That's why the Jeruvian Law was set in place. To keep us safe. And to make sure things remain balanced for humans. Although that was a clear afterthought."

"A very clear afterthought."

"An extremely, extremely obvious afterthought." Or perhaps that hadn't been a list of the priorities at all. That was, actually, the most likely option. But just in case he hadn't realised she was joking, she added, "That was a joke, by the way. The Jeruvian Laws took no consideration of human feelings regarding the matter, though I'm pretty sure if they had, we'd all be dead right now."

"Ah, of course," Theo deadpanned. "Because I hadn't realised you were joking."

"I just wanted to be sure."

Theo rolled his eyes extremely hard before fixing his gaze on me. "So. Do you have any questions about Artefacts right now?"

I bit my lip, going through my laptop until I found a page of questions I'd found and had been doing earlier in an attempt to revise some knowledge we learnt last year. "The difference between the enchanting of talismans and the charming of artefacts. I kind of get it, but at the same time I don't. What makes artefacts artefacts and what makes talismans talismans in the first place? I don't get the difference. Is it just how one is more powerful?"

"The simple way of putting it," Theo said, instantly snapping into teacher mode, "is that the effect of talismans are indirect. Artefacts, meanwhile, are very direct and obvious in their powers. A talisman might grant you luck or protect you against misfortune or illness, but it won't work a hundred percent of the time. And it's not going to like, block off any illness you come in contact with. It just makes you less likely to get it.

"Artefacts, meanwhile... Artefacts are always more expensive. A sword that can set itself on fire, for example—don't look at me like that, we have one of those in our storage, I don't know why anyone in their right mind would buy it and I'm pretty certain it was made in the Middle Ages." I swallowed the words that were about to travel out of my mouth.

"So what's different between making them? I googled it and everything, and it just looked the same to me. And it's a six marker. I know that the enchantment method is slightly different, but how the fuck am I going to answer a six mark question with only that?" I questioned, glaring at him. Was my anger misdirected? Yes, but also no. I had the right to be angry at him.

He didn't seem to be fazed. Which was also expected. Instead, he answered with a calmness that was almost surprising, "You can enchant a talisman by reciting the spell a couple of times. You can't do that with artefacts. A single artefact can sometimes take up to a whole night to enchant, sitting in a room and just whispering the same spell again. And talismans are often used to help enchant artefacts. They're much more difficult to enchant, and, well, the words usually used for them are charming. They're not just random pieces of stone, they're actual objects. And more often than not, the charmed magic will correspond with the original use of the item."

I was typing all this down to use for later, but as he stopped, I raised one brow at him. "Have you ever charmed an artefact?"

"I did once when I was younger," he admitted. "It took me a day and a half. I couldn't get it to work. The concentration required is fucking insane. It's very weak, since the magic of artefacts always grows with time—which is why ancient artefacts are all so powerful but modern day ones seem so lacklustre."

"What did you charm?" I asked, tilting my head with curiosity. I was probably prodding too much, but he was willing to share. And information, about anything or anyone, was always useful.

He shut his eyes, and after an extremely long silence, finally admitted in the quietest voice I'd ever heard him use, "A teddy bear."

I bursted into laughter, almost choking as I tried to calm myself. I met his narrowed gaze, waving my hand in the air. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Not funny. What... how old were you?"

"Seven."

"You charmed an artefact when you were seven?" That was insane. Most people who managed to charm anything were at least very skilled magicians. Adults at the least. Seven years old? Theodore wasn't just some kid who was good at artefacts. He was a fucking prodigy.

"My parents wanted me to give it a try. They hadn't expected it to work, and after a few hours they thought I'd give up. I didn't."

"Why a teddy?"

His face was getting red now, I could see that even with the weak light, but he admitted to me, "His name was Siu Fe Fe." Little Brown. "He was my favourite toy since... basically childhood."

"What on earth did you enchant him with, then?" It was almost kind of ridiculous, hearing that Theodore Yu's favourite toy growing up was a teddy bear. I'd always thought he was the kind of child who wouldn't have liked toys. I didn't. I owned a few Barbie dolls, and when I was around ten or so I had a Lego phase, but that was basically it. When I was a little girl, I spent most of my time either watching television or reading a book.

Theo rubbed his eyes. "I... I can summon him anywhere I want to."

I froze, eyes widening. "That's... that's a permanent charm. Are you telling me that you are able to randomly summon a teddy bear by the name of Siu Fe Fe everywhere you go? All this time?"

"I'm not summoning him," he snapped. "Fuck no. I can't desummon him. I'll have to carry that shit back to house later."

Too late. I was already laughing, practically kicking my legs with hysterical laughter. "Oh my god. I can't wait to tell Yunji and Adelina this. Oh my god, this is amazing. Why? How? Oh, seven year old you were a genius, and not just in the fact you enchanted... you know what? I don't think I can even write this answer anymore. I can't take this seriously anymore."

He was glaring daggers into my cheek, but I didn't give a single shit. Finally he gritted out, "Don't you dare tell anyone. I'll fucking kill you."

Mockingly, I taunted, "You can try."

"Don't forget that I'm on the Duelling Club too, Honoria Song."

And then I sobered up. "Oh, I completely forgot about that. We don't have training this week, right? Coach hasn't said anything about it yet during class."

"Doesn't start until next week, I assume. I think Coach will say something about it tomorrow." But he still looked wary. "You cannot tell your little friends."

"Why not?"

"Just don't. Please. Or the deal's off."

"You need this deal more than I do," I pointed out.

"You're not the only History and Theory god around here," he warned. "But I'm the best at Artefacts you can find."

I pouted. "Fine. I won't tell. Pinky promise."

I, Honoria Song, was capable of some truly immature thing sometimes. But it was just so fun to tease him, especially because he was Theodore Yu. Theo Yu, who was always so quiet and mysterious and reserved, who seemed so mature and composed, yet had charmed a teddy bear when he was seven year old and could not summon it anywhere he went. And could not desummon it back to where it was.

I wouldn't tell today, but I wasn't going to forget this piece of information any time soon. If he ever tried anything again, well, I had something on him. It was nothing big, and I doubted it would do a lot of damage, but it was still something.

People who got hurt once refused to get hurt again. That was how life had always worked. Theodore Yu had fucked me over once before, and if I was ever going to let him become anything close to a friend again, it was going to be with terms.

I wasn't a forgiving person. Sebastian Hong was a lost cause, and even if he came begging now, I'd only at best accept him as an acquaintance. No more than that. I had little interest in befriending someone with his personality. Theo's situation was a bit more nuanced than Seb's—he was backing up his friend, which was understandable, but still hurtful.

I'd rather have thorns than be another rose fresh for plucking.

I had pride, and I wanted to protect it like anyone else.

I had that right too.

—

The session ended quickly. It was only the start of the year, so neither of us had much we didn't understand in the first place. And I wasn't surprised to see that Theo had solved his own problems with his paper last year over the summer, the same way I had.

We went back to our dorms after goodbyes, and I quickly took a speedy shower before I had to go for evening registration in the common room.

Yunji glanced at me. "Where were you?" she asked, frowning. "I went to your dorm just now but you weren't there. You weren't in the toilet either."

I lied, without any hesitation and with full fluency, "Oh, I went to the sports hall." Which wasn't exactly wrong.

"Ah."

I knew Yunji wouldn't go to the sports hall. She never did. Yunji despised that place with a singular passion for some reasons I couldn't quite comprehend. It was rather sad that the sports hall was almost always only occupied by males at night—when I went myself, there were usually only one or two other girls around. But ever since I'd flipped with the Aesir boys last year, who had been my main badminton partners, I'd stopped going as much, unless Taylor said he was going.

And he was shit at badminton, so it wasn't much fun playing with him. It was fine once in a while, but not regularly.

Adelina was late to registration, and given a warning. It wasn't surprising. She had a tendency for being late. But it was only her first warning this year, so she had two more to go before she got a detention.

When I commented on this, Adelina huffed. "My mission this year is to get zero detentions. Don't laugh at me, I'm being serious! Honoria! I'm serious. You got no detentions last year. I don't see why I couldn't do the same."

"I can think of many reasons why. The first of the all being your perpetual tardiness."

Adelina raised her chin. "I'm trying to change that."

Yunji raised a brow. "Is the first thing going to be getting an alarm clock so that you don't need your roommates to wake you up in the future? Because I assure you, having a clock really helps with keeping time. By a lot."

Adelina pulled a face. "Fuck you, Yunji."

"Don't, don't," Yunji said, shaking her head. "I'm just giving you suggestions. I got no detentions last year either, remember? And I also got no detentions in year nine, in case you're wondering."

"Yeah, never had a detention in my life," I said, despite knowing full well that detentions didn't exist back at my old school in Hong Kong. That felt like an eternity ago, when I was still studying back home. When I still had to study Chinese, and had to do an endless supply of Chinese reading comprehensions to get better grades. They worked, but it was also hell on earth doing them all. That shit had made me miserable sometimes, at least until the exams itself when I managed to ace my papers.

And I usually did ace my papers. Thankfully. Except for the few years when I hadn't.

That had been a dark time in my life. Not really, but I'd lost bragging rights. My reputation had still stood, though, because of my English results. And even when my grades hadn't been spectacular, they'd been above average, and that had been more than enough for me.

Most things were enough for me.

Really, my standards were so low all things considered. I'd only started freaking out about my Artefacts grades when I'd gotten a seventy.

"Oh, lucky you," Adelina said, shaking her head in dismay. "But yeah. I don't want to get any detentions this year. That's my new school year's resolution."

"I wish you the best of luck, Roche."

Adelina turned her gaze to me. "Can you pretty please remind me every time I might potentially get myself into trouble? Help a friend out with her goal?"

"What do I get in exchange for it?"

"My eternal and unending and unconditional friendship."

"Do I not already have that?"

Adelina paused. "Fair point."

Yunji bursted into laughter. I couldn't tell if it was from the ridiculousness of what Adelina was saying, or how pointless that exchange was. We'd help her either way. We'd helped her last year, she just hadn't listened. Like that time we told her to go back to her dorm quickly before the teachers came swinging by, and she hadn't and she'd been caught. Or that time she procrastinated her Healing essay until it was two weeks late and had been given a detention. Even though I'd screamed at her to do it the night before it was due, and she simply hadn't bothered.

Adelina was what I'd call in a Chinese a 奇人. A miraculous person.

Miraculous, in the sense that I didn't know how she was even alive. But then again that fit my perspective of a lot of people at this school, so she was by no means alone.

It was just slightly ridiculous, how people did things here. Half of the students had no ability to take care of themselves whatsoever, but somehow they were all still alive, so I didn't judge.

But then again, until last year I was about as crappy at taking care of myself as the rest of them, so I really couldn't say all that much.

"So," I said, "what caused this change in goals? You didn't care about detentions last year."

Adelina pulled a face. "None of my brothers ever got detentions. Well, one did, but it was a stupid detention. And James hasn't gotten any detentions since fourth form either. I can't be out-performed by them."

I exchanged a glance with Yunji. Her brows were creased as well, and I could tell that she was thinking what I was thinking. We both knew Adelina had problems living up with expectations. Of her, of her brothers, of her parents. And she regularly compared herself to James Withington, whom she almost saw as her archnemesis, someone she constantly had to beat. I was starting to wonder if the reason she hadn't dropped Healing despite her absolute hatred of the subject, perhaps even more so than History, was because Withington took it, and she didn't want to admit defeat.

Which was a very bad mindset to have, especially since her JCM subjects could very well affect the rest of her life.

But it was how Adelina kept her motivated. By wanting to beat people she deemed as better than herself. By gaining their validation, by surpassing them. It was one way to live, I supposed, but it wasn't a very happy way to live. I rather suspected it was an excellent way to make oneself miserable.

Adelina seemed fine so far, though, except in those rare moments when she wasn't. And everyone had their ups and downs. I wasn't concerned. So far.

I'd have to wait and see, though.

Sometimes I really did feel like a mum. Monitoring Yunji's anger and bitterness, watching over Adelina's craving for validation... though me hyper analysing them was somewhat odd. I'd always been a bit interested in psychology, so it wasn't all that strange, but still.

I wished someone was there to take care of me too. Not in the way Yunji and Adelina did, like friends, but like, an older sibling or a parent. Teachers weren't it. That was just awkward. I wanted an actual peer.

Or maybe that was just my internal wishing for an older brother ever since I was born. An older sister would work too, really. Just an older anything.

I didn't know why I'd always wanted one so bad. So that I'd have someone to protect me? I had my parents. But I didn't think they ever fully understood me. Oh, of course they loved me, but a sibling was different. A sibling could see things from your perspective. They could understand choices you made, rather than witnessing them from a higher-up perspective and I told you sos.

Of course, everyone I knew with a sibling told me that it was most definitely not like that, but we never treasured the things we had, only the things we couldn't. And there was no chance in my life, ever, of ever getting an older sibling.

Which explains my longing for one.

"Well, no detentions isn't difficult," Yunji said, snapping me back to reality. "Trust me, if I can manage, so can you."

Adelina pouted. "You're different."

"Why?" Yunji challenged, one brow raised. "Because I'm Asian?"

"That, and you two are actually like... obedient. I'm not. I'm a rebellious soul, you know. Always seeking adventure, that's me. Always looking for ways to break the rules."

"I'm glad you're aware," I deadpanned. It was the truth. Adelina was far more willing to break the rules than we were. We always stayed in line, making sure we treaded carefully between the lines of breaking the rules and not doing so. Even when we did do things that we knew we'd be punished for, we were always very careful with it.

That did not describe Adelina Roche.

Adelina just glared at me in response. I smiled placidly, and she turned away with a huff. "Fine! Fine! Fine!"

Yunji laughed. "Don't worry, Ade, we're just fucking with you. We will help you. Promise. Here's to a squeaky clean record!"

"It already has dirt on it," I reminded wryly, pointing to today's late.

"Today is the last time I'll ever be late this year," Adelina swore, and I didn't buy it one bit. But as long as she spaced them out enough she'd be fine. So maybe her oath of no detentions was a possibility after all.

I greatly enjoyed the thought of Adelina Roche planning when to be late and when not to so that she could avoid detentions. It wasn't in her character to do so—it was more of mine—but still.

It was a funny thought to entertain as I walked back to my dorm, shutting the door behind me and glaring at the pile of laundry I'd lazily left on my bed earlier and was far too lazy to clean up. But I had to, because it was bed time soon, and if I didn't do it now I'd have a tough time doing it later before the teachers came in for evening registration. And unlike Adelina, I was not taking any risks of getting a late.

I was not that kind of person. I despised taking risks with a singular and immense passion. If I could avoid getting into trouble, that was what I was doing at all costs.

I cleaned my laundry pile, of course, neatly folding it all up and shoving it into where it belonged in my wardrobe. And then I made my bed, handed in my devices, and brushed my teeth. And then I sat there, in my room, staring at the ceiling (which was not very interesting), and contemplating about life.

There really wasn't that much to think about.

Most things hadn't picked off yet. Activities would start next week, more or less, and drama hadn't really started rearing its head. That, or there would be little this year, since everyone was too busy with exams. Even the kids who'd barely touched a book outside of lessons last year and never handed in a single piece of prep.

I knew a couple kids like that. How they were alive and not expelled remained a mystery to me even now.

But then again, England was a place full of mystery, full stop. I'd given up on trying to figure it out a long time ago. Around twelve months ago precisely, actually, after I'd landed in Heathrow Airport and had to wait in the line for around three or four hours until I could leave. Because only one customs officer had been on duty somehow.

And that one time I tried to go to a shop on Sunday and realised half the town was closed.

Truly, England was a place of miracles and nothing less.

Though, if you really had to be serious, it could be used to describe anywhere in the world.

It didn't matter in the end.