When Jax caught up to me I noticed the others stayed back a little more to give us some space to talk.

"What Jax?" I snapped

"Why does it matter suddenly what his mother thinks?" He asked

"Because it's what he also thinks deep down even if he won't say it out loud that's what he grew up around the fact that anyone other than a shadowhunter isn't good enough, that warlocks, seelies, werewolves and vampires aren't good enough, hell I see the look in his eyes when he first realized it too, that split second of disbelief and disgust hurt me, but it's whatever right, I'm simply supposed to accept it like hell" I snapped

"He grew up differently yes, but Alexander is different not like Izzy but he's grown up with challenges and the weight in his shoulders to be exact what his mother expects of him to keep the Lightwood name in tact, you can't just expect him to change in a split second for you" he said

I growled my eyes flashing their wolf like color causing Jax to roll his eyes at me. I began to shake with anger at the entire situation at hand.

"Back up Jax" I warned

"You won't hurt me" he said

"You know what I no longer what to help you" I growled

"You don't mean that, we need you" he said

"That's just rich coming from you, you abandoned me for my best friend and then get upset when I don't call after my parents died and now you need my help and it's probably only because of what I am, the things I'm capable of right that's all it is and that's all it ever was about, keeping me safe because you had to not because you wanted to, you befriended me because it was your job not because you wanted to get to know me better, your just like Gabriel and the others before and after him, you don't want me you need me for my powers and that isn't what I want in life at least the queen treats me with respect and as if I'm her own child you and your kind never have not even mundanes treat me right god I was so stupid coming here, I was so scared I lost my closest friend but the truth is you never were a friend you never will be you know why because you see me as a job not as a person" I growled and with that I left

I ignored everyone and I refused to let that overwhelming feeling to turn around and go to Alec. I ignored everything and when I got to the seelie realm I growled shifting into my wolf out of anger. Which can be dangerous because I could stay like this for a while. In my wolf form depending on how angry I am and how bad the forced shift was. I was beyond livid and I howled in anger and pain as I felt the seelies come around me in worry. I knew then that this was my home now, that I had finally found someone or something to be around. I hated that my so called soulmate was more worried about his mother's opinion than his own feelings.

I hated that my so called friend only saw me as my abilities and a job. I hated that I couldn't stand to be in my home town with my adoptive siblings. I hated that I hated so many things lately and the anger since then was kicking back in. I ran through the woods feeling the breeze through my fur was nice and calming. It wasn't enough because I found myself slipping between reality and time. I was slipping from my human state and my wolf state which wasn't good ever. It meant that I was losing myself to the pain and loss but how long would it last. I was just running through the beautiful seelie realm of when I reached the Queen.

"Oh you poor thing" she said coming towards me

Since she was in her child form I was rather taller than her in this form as well as my human for now. I lowered myself to the ground so that I was laying flat on my stomach so she could reach me properly.

"Oh want to do with you my dear, I know those feelings all too well and I'm sorry you had to deal with them that way, but when you change back I think you should take a break from this world and go see your adoptive family" she said

I shook my wolf head and huffed out a breathe but she only smiled softly.

"I know child, but it might be best because soon your going to be far too busy with this life to visit and say goodbye to them, so for now rest your welcome to stay at my side until you change back, as for your soulmate he's welcome freely here if he so chooses to return to you" she said

"I don't want him here" I thought to her

"Well I see you've gained your ability to be a telepath" she smiled

"I can't face him until he proves he doesn't care what his mother will say about me, I can't live with someone who worries about mommies wishes" I said

"I understand, for now rest and we can see things through I have some court business to attend so join if you'd like" she said

I watched as she began to walk away and I decided that I'd follow after her. She had made me feel at home in such short notice that I felt protective over her suddenly. It wasn't just that she was my queen but it was something else something bigger than that. So I followed after here into a room where other downworlders waited for her.

"Hello everyone this is Trinity she currently stuck in wolf form but she's here to attend court with me so do pay mind to her" the queen said

I noticed Magnus out of the corner of my eye and I whimpered softly as I followed after the queen.

"Magnus bane you have returned and it seems you've brought out some emotion in her" the queen said