I look up through the trees at the white clouds in the sky. For a moment I wish that I could fly, away from the daily tests and from Hux, from Phasma the only girl on our summer training team. She leans over the lunch table in front of me so I'll notice her breasts. I try not to look but I always do and I hate it. I'm not supposed to like girls or think about those kinds of things. Master Snoke says those things are for the weak and undisciplined, that Sith Lords don't allow such things into their minds or lives to distract them.

The wind rustles the leaves and I shiver. I came out here to find an animal but they all seem to be hiding, like they know I want their hearts.  

"I can do all things through the Force which strengthens me." I whisper the mantra Uncle Luke taught me as I walk through the trees. I can't tell if it actually helps to use the mantras but it's become a habit now.

A sound catches my attention and I stop walking to listen. It's coming from my left and sounds like a child crying. I head in that direction and see a little girl through the trees. She's kneeling in the dirt, mud on her light coloured clothes. She's the same girl Hux made cry yesterday. She's holding something in her hands.

The leaves crunch beneath my boots and she looks over to me, her eyes wide and full of tears. I'm not supposed to talk to anyone outside of our summer training group, not even my mom on the comm unit, not until the training is over. But I can't help but be curious what she's holding. I'll just add this to the list of everything I'm going to be in trouble for anyway.

"She fell out of her nest," the little girl says. Her voice has a sweet child-like sound that I'm not used to hearing.

"Can I see?" I ask. She gets up and walks to me. I step back, thinking she might accidentally touch me. I'm not allowed to touch anyone and when I do Master Snoke seems to know instantly and I get punished. He says it will spoil my training.

But he never seems to notice that Hux pushes me and bugs me all the time, because he's Grand Master's favourite student. Except now I am, since he said I'd be the Lord of the Knights of Ren. Ren's the new name I was given when I started training with Grand Master. And now everyone calls me Ren.

"She's still alive!" The little girl holds up her hands to me and I see a tiny baby bird. I pick it up, careful not to touch her fingers as I do. The baby bird's tiny heartbeat flutters in my palm.

"My name's Rey Rita Gowron," the girl says. "My grandfather calls me Rita when I'm here."

I watch the bird struggle in my hand and don't respond.

"How old are you?" the little girl asks.

"Fifteen."

"I'm five." Rey holds up her palm and spreads out five chubby fingers to show me the number.

"Oh, I thought you were like... three."

"I'm not three!" she yells, her high pitched squeal making me jump. I step back.

"I'm not supposed to be talking to you," I say, wrapping my fingers around the baby bird. I have what I came for and I should head back, before someone finds me talking to this five year old.

"I'm turning six soon you know," she says, clasping her hands behind her back and standing up on her toes. I nod and start to walk away.

"Wait!" she runs after me and grabs my cloak. "We have to put the baby bird back in its nest." She points up into the tree. I look up too but I don't see the nest.

"I'm taking the bird," I say. There's no point in letting her think I could be her friend or something. Usually kids are scared of me, like they can sense that I'm dangerous, but Rey seems different.

"Why?" she demands, putting her hands on her hips.

"Because I have to take my Master the heart of a forest animal." I look down at her round little face, expecting her eyes to go wide with fear at what I've said. But she only nods, as though she's thinking.

"Okay," she says. "The baby bird has a heart. I could feel it in my hands. You can take her to your Master." She crosses her arms. "But you have to bring her back when you're done and climb in the tree and put her back with her brothers and sisters after!" She purses her lips and tears fill her eyes. "You have to promise or give her back to me right now!"

"I promise," I say.

"Okay. But she'll miss her brothers and sisters. She'll be scared."

"She won't be scared. She's resting, see." I open my palm to show her then quickly close it again. "My hand is like a nest. She likes it."

Rey nods and wipes her eyes. "Okay. I have to go back to grandfather, but can I come play with you after lunch?"

"No," I say.

Rey's face turns red and my chest tightens. I've never met anyone so emotional. Maybe if I lie to her she'll go away.

"I'll come find you after I put the baby bird back and then we can... play."

She smiles. "Okay. What's your name?"

I almost say Ben but stop myself. "It's Ren."

"Bye, Ren." Rey runs off through the trees, like a little bird herself, her light frame moving fast. I'm tall and lanky and not a very good runner. I watch her go, wondering if she actually knows the way out of the forest, or if she'll just get lost deeper in it.

Should I follow her? The forest is scary at night and lots of people have seen ghosts wandering here, of dead Jedi Lords and Masters.

I open my palm and look down at the baby bird, Rey's words still running through my head, she'll miss her brothers and sisters. The bird's tiny heart still beats. I want it to live and I want to return it to the nest, but I won't. 

I sigh, closing my hand again, then hurry back to the school.