Author's Note: The following chapter may not be to everyone's taste. It's not pertinent to the story plot, so if you're not a Kylux fan you can just skip it and continue on with the next chapter (which I will post soon). 

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I wake to the sun shining on my face and lift my hand to block out its bright glare. Where am I? There's a star chart on the wall and papers all over the floor... I turn my head to the side and see Hux lying beside me. Then I remember. He wanted me to rest with him before Master Snoke erased his memory. But he doesn't want it erased. Yet, I highly doubt Master Snoke will change his mind about it.

Hux has a peaceful look on his face while sleeping, the most unguarded and vulnerable I've ever seen him. I turn onto my back again and look up at the ceiling. My body feels heavy and my heart aches. 

Rita... The pain comes flooding back in again. I told her I'd never forget about her. I told her I'd see her again some day. But I don't even know if I'll make it one week in the Elimination games. If I continue feeling this way then I know I won't make it through the games. Should I let Master Snoke erase my memories of her, or not?

Hux wakes, rubbing his eyes and stretching. I didn't want him to wake up yet. Not when I'm about to cry at any moment. I feel the sobs building in my chest.

Hux sees me and looks confused for a second. I reach up my hand to his temple and focus. I want to read his mind. I need the distraction so badly that I don't bother asking for permission to do it. I want to feel something else, anything than what I'm feeling right now. I close my eyes and concentrate.

He's easy to read, having just woken up and without his guard up yet. He's surprised to find me in his bed. He thought I would leave for sure after he fell asleep. His pain is strong too, but different than mine, not raw and fresh but an old and heavy wound that pulls him into despair. He knows that I'll never love him. There's something else too, something that isn't pain, and I focus in on that. It's his excitement at having me here, in his bed, and the relief of finally letting himself feel the way he does.

"Ren," Hux says, pushing my hand away. "My thoughts are private." His cheeks are flushed now and he looks away. I lock him in a Force hold to keep him still, then shift closer, raising my hand to his temple.

"Don't," he whispers.

My fingers brush his forehead and I reach into his mind again. He doesn't resist, like I expect him to. His emotions move from pain to peace then pain again. Then to what I'm secretly searching for, his desire for me.

"Let me go," Hux says, his eyes pleading. But his thoughts betray him. I look down at his lips and a heat rushes through him, filling me too. My breath catches at the intensity of it; a moment he'd never dared to hope for before, and now he yearns for it. He wants to kiss me. I should let go of his mind now, but his emotions are so intoxicating, so similar to what I've been thirsting for yet always had to pretend I don't need.

I look back up at Hux's eyes. They search mine, wondering what I think of his thoughts, what I'll do next. His gaze travels down to my lips and I let go of my Force hold on him, so he can move again.

"Go ahead," I whisper, knowing what he wants to do and eager to feel his thrill when he does it. "I'll forget all of this soon anyway."

He lifts his hand up to the back of my neck and grasps my hair, shifting closer to me on the bed until our knees touch. I hold my breath as he leans in, closing the distance between us. I close my eyes and feel his breath on my lips. 

A loud banging on the door makes us jump apart. I sit up quickly. Hux grumbles and covers his face with his arm. I climb over him to get out of the bed and answer the door.

Phasma is standing on the other side, with her arms crossed and a frown on her face.

"Thought I'd find you here," she says. "Snoke's looking for you and he's mad that you weren't in your room this morning." She glances past me to the bed. "You'd better put your cloak on and pretend you were wandering around in the forest all night. He's mad at Hux, too."