December 15, 2011. Thursday.

I don't expect for anyone to ever read this, and so I write freely.

I realize that, though my day started off absolutely great, I do feel a bit down.

I can't claim to have a legitamite reason for feeling this way- and it is a tad shameful to me- but I hope to get rid of it by explaining here, to myself, exactly why I feel this way and getting over it.

Now, it began with a discussion two days ago. I conversed with a close friend of controversial issues, and it was a wonderful thing.

For once, a peer talked to me and understood the subject matter. Said peer had an open mindset, analytical skills, and a different perspective. The perfect person to talk to, in my opinion, on matters such as what we talked of.

It was an open exchange of ideas and didn't once rise to pointless, stubborn arguement. All the way through, I could only think: I can't believe it.

Previously, none of my peers had ever been open to discussion of such a sensitive topic. The last peer I opened the subject with got defensive, preached to me, then closed the subject abruptly with much heat.

Not the best way to start or end a conversation, in my opinion. But that's subjective.

Now, getting back to the matter at hand, I unwittingly opened the topic with a parent.

Said parent was not at all open to such a discussion, and I was semi-aware of it. So why did I even try to breach it?

Well, I thought to myself that my parents- off all people- would be there to listen. They could teach, listen, correct, discuss, and talk to me like a student. An equal, at best, a delinquent, at worst.

Now here's what happened. Not at all what I hoped for, but only marginally better than I expected.

Said parent only ever agreed with sincerity when I made a self-depreciating comment on not speaking in a monotonous voice. Of course, it wasn't the most encouraging thing.

Now, a few weeks ago, said parent almost yelled at me for not being of the same mindset as [them].

This is what gets me. Right there.

I doubt anyone will read this, or ever even find it buried deep within this website, so I write freely now.

I am disappointed. When I hoped for a similar open discussion- which I got from a peer- I got instead- from a middle-aged and wise parent- nothing. Nothing at all.

It's a very sensitive topic, and I respect that- but said parent never wishes to discuss anything that could remotely become controversial. Avoiding everything controversial like the plague.

So, now, I say only that controversial topics make for wonderful forums under which to exchange diffeing opinions and ideas. With controversy can come openness to the world and alternate perspectives.

Why keep to the safe topics when all your child- who is willinglytrying and talking to you about somethingthought to be reserved for only the learned- wishes to speak of more involving things? Why keep such a wonderful thing as discussion from your child?

It is grossly unfair, in my opinion.

And now we have it. My opines, justifiable to some, will seem grossly childish to others.

Where would you estimate my life-years to be? Five? Fifty? Somewhere in between, somewhere far away?

Well, judge me not on my age, but on my writing. Judge me on my ideas. Judge me on my childish or justifiable thoughts.

Do not judge me for being thirteen.