*This chapter is dedicated to @stitch4321, @HeyloReylo and brhr14, for their support! And, I know it's looong, way too long, but you'll like it, you'll see:)) *

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"I still can't!" Rey complained, her voice thick, filled with despair.

It was the hundredth time she tried to lift the bloody rock before her in the air as she sat cross-legged on the hard ground, but to no avail. Now tears threatened to sting her eyes, and she was on the point of giving up.

Her outstretched hand was trembling, her fingers splayed as if trying to grab hold of an invisible rope.

Three weeks have passed since they have arrived at the old huts of the Jedi, hidden in the deep forested mountains of Takodana.

...And no sign of the Force.

Neither her, nor Ben had been able to feel it since Exegol, on the night they defeated the cruel Emperor. And then, they have been too happy or relieved that they were finally free...and together. Neither of them had paid any mind to this aspect, until Rey had arrived to the Resistance Base.

Exasperated, she grabbed the rock and flung it in a bush over the padded patch of ground they sat on, letting out a growl. The warmth of the sun and the exhaustion made her sweat.

But as soon as tears burst out, a calming presence took over her.

"It's alright." Ben said as he came face to face with her, sitting down cross-legged so their knees touched.

Her eyes were fallen to her hands that were fiddling with the cloth of her tunic in her lap, but his, his eyes never left her face.

"Come on, let's do it together." he said with a reassuring smile on his face. He knew that the worst thing he could say now, was "Take a break."

She sniffed another tear and rubbed her eyes, and looked at him, as if not believing this would work at all.

"Trust me." he said, both his hands outstretched, ready to envelop hers. "Alone, I couldn't do it either. I'll help you, as you have done with me. And you'll help me again."

Rey nodded. And when she placed her small hands in his, palms up to the sky, the humming that would once pass between them, the force that would chant around them, was missing. But a tiny spark still remained.

This will not work, she thought stubbornly. But as if he would have read her mind, he gave her hands a little squeeze.

"We'll do it together. Right? Has it ever turned out to be wrong when we cooperated?"

And she managed a meek shake of head.

"Good. Just tell me when you're ready." he told her gently as his thumb stroked her palm.

"I think I am." She said after a deep
breath.

"Well then, close your eyes." he said as he did so.

It was something strange to Rey. Normally, it would have been her who tried to calm him down, not the other way around. The way she reacted made her feel scared. What if it was a temptation to the dark side?

"You're special, Rey." She heard Ben's calm voice. And instinctively, she opened her eyes, only to find him meditating calmly. It was so strange to hear those words from his lips. "You have both light and dark in you, yet you never yield to the latter. I know you never will."

She closed her eyes as she listened to his words with patience. "And you do have both sides in you too. There's... A different kind of force." She frowned. She felt something she could bot quite understand. And neither did he.

"Now try to feel it." Ben urged forward. "I know it's hard, but try to feel the force. I'm trying too, I'll help you."

And Rey squeezed her eyes, and concentrated hard. Nothing. She tried harder. Still, nothing. She expected Ben to be as restless as she was, but he had remained calm.

She tried to feel the sun that warmed the earth around and beneath them, then the leaves and twigs that rustled and creaked in the swift wind. It felt so far, and so weak... But still it was something. And she wouldn't have done it if not for Ben. She could feel him gathering the Force and directing it toward her, flooding her whole being with a bright white light.

I never knew you could have so much light in you, she told him through their bond. And hoped that he had received it.

I have now, he responded. I have enough for you.

The last sentence made her mind tend to shut, but she resisted it. There was time to understand it later. Now, she received his light.

And as if in a wonder, she could feel the small rock between them moving. And hear the low rumble it made.

A smile crept on her face. They did it! Finally. No, not yet. The stone had to fly on the air. She could feel Ben's thumb stroking her hand in a soothing manner.

We're almost there, he pushed the thought in her mind.

And she gathered all her strength, and willed it to lift the rock in the air. A pain shot up to her head and she had to grit her teeth not to cry in pain. But then a soothing wave came from Ben, taking part of the pain away.

I feel it too, he said. And then, Do you want to stop here?

No! She thought determinedly. She was close, she was not going to give up now.

And like a humming in the force, she could feel the rock afloat before her. All of a sudden, all the pain turned into happiness, resolve, and a bit of pride.

She could feel Ben smiling too. Or was it just some illusion? And Ben's voice was again in her mind.

Now I'll let you to it.

What? No, She wanted to say, but it was too late. For he was already sliding his hands slowly from hers. Don't do this, she wanted to tell him, but panic already took over.

You can do it, Rey, his voice came through what Force they were left. You did it, all by yourself.

And this gained Rey a bit of confidence. But now it was harder without him. She could feel the force falter, her grip on the stone beginning to loose.

No, no, she thought, as if that could actually stop it. Her brows furrowed in frustration, and her breath increased, tears of anger stinging her eyes.

And she hold it still.

Good.

The stone, it was floating, the Force was back! But in the old days she could do it with her eyes open. So she did that. She wanted to see what she had managed.

She had been almost happy, her smile spread from ear to ear. But gone as soon as the rock hit the ground when her eyes opened and her concentration faltered.

She felt so disappointed, she couldn't even cry. Her anger came out in ragged breaths, and with no hesitation, she shouted "No!" so loud, Ben could have sworn she had been heard from Maz's castle.

Ben made to reach for her hand, but she retreated hers immediately, squirming away. She shot up to her feet and walked to a boulder where she slumped down, against the warm stone.

"Without the Force, I'm nothing!" she cried and put her head in her palms, knees drawn up to her chest.

"No, Rey." Ben came over and stood next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. And he knew how this was going to sound, but he said it anyway. "You've never been nothing."

She tilted her head so she could look up to him. Her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks streaked with tears.

"Shh." he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. With the back of his other hand, he carefully wiped the tears away from her face. "It's alright, Rey, please don't cry." He hated to see her in so much pain. If he could just bring the force to her...

His hand kept stroking her soft hair, his fingers running through it. "You're great Rey, you did great today. It's still a progress, we brought what little part of the Force we could, and you held it. You held it in place more than I could ever have." he insisted as he gave her arm a squeeze.

"It had been there... The Force..." She sobbed in his chest as she wrapped against him tighter.

But he didn't stop. "Tomorrow, you'll do better. And the day after that, even more. And in a month, maybe less, you'll be doing all the things you could do before. Believe me." he spoke in her hair. "Believe me." he said, again.

And then, he did something he hadn't done since they've stayed in that cave, three weeks ago. Slowly, he placed a tender kiss on her forehead, nuzzling her hair. And to his surprise, he could feel her relax.

"We'll do it together. I promise." he told her again, as his hand ran up and down her arm.

She nodded her head buried in his neck. Now she wasn't even able to sense the dangers that encircled her. And she knew they were far from safe. It was just the quiet of this planet that gave them that sense. And...maybe... each other's presence?

But for now, if was enough that she couldn't feel the Force. She knew it was not good, but she wanted to feel that safety, at least until the danger would return, greater that ever, and dark and full of terrors. For she knew it would. And when it would, it would wipe away all she held most dear. She had had that vision even before facing Palpatine, that the worst hasn't come yet.

She clung tighter to Ben, wanting to be in his presence, and never let go of him. She tilted her head, so her mouth grazed his jaw. And it must that the gesture surprised him, for he flinched slightly and looked at her.

Since they've arrived there, she had ignored her feelings for him, in order to concentrate on the Force. When they have met after her arrival to the resistance, she had vowed to teach him what affection was. She had vowed to show him what love was. But it seemed thaf the problems have stood like a barrier against it.

But she would break it, she was sure she would. And as he stared at her, still taken by surprise, she kissed his cheek.

"I thought you forgot about that." he said almost in a whisper as he stared at her.

And she shook her head in answer. "I never would."

"Rey?" he asked when he saw her standing up to her feet.

But she didn't answer. Instead, she reached out a hand to him to help him up. "Let's just forget about the Force for now. We could go to a peaceful place. I'm sure this planet must have something."

"I know exactly where." he said with a smile as he came to stand next to her and took her hand. "Folow me." and he led her deeper into the forest.

"How long will we walk?" Rey asked after a while, not understanding at all where he was taking her.

"You'll see." and he gave her a side smile.

But no sooner did they get far enough from the training place, that Rey could hear a loud whinny made by an animal. What animal? She had never known something that made those sounds. And she could hear them pounding their paws against the ground. What on earth?! What kind of paws do those animals have, to make such a loud noise? She wondered.

And as they reached a clearing, the whinny drew her attention. She gasped when she glimpsed at the edge of the clearing, tied to a tree with a rope, a huge animal, with a long head and a furry body, all white. It was tall, taller than she ever remembered seeing an animal. And it had two curved horns.

"It's a Bantha." Ben told her as she approached the horse-like creature with slow, wary paces. "They live in herds down those valleys. I found this one alone, near the waterfalls after I crossed the forests. I guess he got lost of its herd so I took him with me."

Rey approached the animal and made to pet its white mane, but it whinnied in protest and shook its head as if to bite her.

" Ah! " she retreated her hand immediately and took some good steps back.

Yet she watched Ben approaching the animal and placing one hand on the mane, the other on the jaw, stroking it and whispering soothing words. Rey still couldn't believe it was the same man he had been only three weeks ago. He had changed so abruptly. And she kept asking herself, has it been her doing?

"This is Rey. She's a friend." and then he turned toward her, his hands still calming the Bantha. "And she's sweet and good and gentle." Then he extended a hand to her.

Rey knew the gesture. It was like a deja vu. Her gaze wondered between his outstretched palm and his eyes.

"It's alright, Rey. You're with me. And he won't hurt you, will you, White Storm?" He gently asked the animal, patting it's mane.

It seemed like he did not understand at all her reasons. Maybe he had forgotten. No, he wouldn't, she thought. But maybe he is just enjoying his time.

Reluctantly, she took some steps toward him and slid her hand in his, while her eyes never left his. They held the same fear inside them, the same doubt. And her hand trembled slightly at the contact. What was she expecting? To turn dark? No, that was left to the past, she was just being a fool.

He closed his hand around hers, and his thumb caressed her skin gently. "It's alright. Come here, now."

She wasn't even paying attention when he placed her palm flat against White Storm's soft mane, his against hers.
He guided her hand up and down.

"It's beautiful!" Rey said in a whisper as she continued to marvel. Then her innocent face rose up to look at him. "I've never seen this kind before."

"Neither did I. My mother used to tell me stories about some resembling creatures... I think they were about them."

She continued to stroke the long strands, when, without the least warning, he placed his hands on her waist and rose her off her feet.

"Whoa!" instinctively, she placed her own hands on top of Ben's, clasping them for dear life. And, before she could make any sense of it, she saw herself up in the saddle.

"Wait. Am I going to ride alone?" she rambled as the animal began to shift beneath her.

"No. You'll ride with me." Ben said as he mounted behind her, taking the reins in one hand, the other wrapping Rey's waist. "I got you. Do you trust me with your life?" he joked.

"I do. I always did." She returned the smile.

"Then I think we can go. I'm keeping you safe." he whispered in her hair as one of her hands gripped the one he had placed on her waist.

He kicked the horse in its quarters and it broke into a gallop. Rey's heart leapt at the jolt, and she squeezed her eyes. I won't fall, I won't fall, she kept telling herself.

But Ben could feel she was afraid. "Don't stiffen, or you'll jump." he said. "Lean against me if that makes it easier."

And she did so. But soon, she came to enjoy the ride. And she even urged Ben to increase the speed. It seemed like she was flying at the same speed with the wind. Her smile spread from ear to ear, and her arms spread in the air.

" I knew you could!" Ben said, proudly.

She laughed as if she were a little child again, experiencing something for the first time. It was the same joy she had felt when she had first seen the green of Takodana. The wind that whistled past her ears and the adrenaline made her forget about everything : the force, the fact that she hadn't contacted the resistance since departure...

After a long ride through the pine forest, up and down on twisted narrow paths, they came to a wonderland as she had never seen before.

Ben reined White Storm in as they came next to a tree. The view before them was magnificent: a green vale of grass, surrounded by tall walls of stone, from where waves crashed down in pools of clear, blue water that snaked down along the mountains and into the forests. A thin fog rose on top of the pool.

Rey had been so absorbed by that, she hadn't even noticed when Ben slid down from the saddle. He was smiling up at her, and she realized she must have looked like a fool. But when she swung her leg over to jump down, Ben caught her again, and she placed her palms on his white linen tunic for steadiness. Being that close to him made her blush. And she felt she blushed even more fiercely as he hugged her waist tighter.

He wanted to kiss that smile. But she hadn't kissed him in weeks. And he did not know how she would perceive that.

Ben released Rey, but his hand still held hers. Not tight, so if she wanted to let go, he would not cling to her.

They started at a steady pace along the riverbank. For a time, neither of them spoke. But it wasn't that kind of annoying silence. If was rather a peace between them, as it should have been from the beginning. Only when their hands would touch, or Ben would brush his fingers against hers intentionally, she would blush and let out a chuckle.

The water sent sparks across the pebbled shore, and across the grass. They started on a sunny hill half circled by the river, and got to the other side of it. Here, the grass was long and yellow and streaked with poppies here and there. They matched Rey's crimson vest.

"Should we stay here a bit? Ben asked her.

" Sure. " she answered with a smile and seated herself down, amongst the red flowers. As Ben sat down face to face with her, she rose her eyes to him." I never knew there were so many flowers in the galaxy!" and she was not only referring to the poppies, but to the other wild flowers too. Violet and yellow and pink, they streaked the high grass around her.

And Ben could not resist the urge. He plucked a poppy from the grass and tucked it in the side of Rey's loose hair. That must have taken her by surprise, for her head jerked up all of a sudden. But his fingers lingered on her face, the back of his hand caressing her left cheek up and down before cradling it. His thumb stroked her freckles gently and she stared at him in amazement, too stunned to move. Her hand had remained hung in mid-air, the one violet flower she had plucked fallen somewhere in the thick grass.

And she finally made herself smile.

"Thank you for bringing me to such a beautiful place." Rey said as she gestured around. But then something else occurred to her. "Yet you never told me you were coming here."

His eyes dropped to the ground, and his hand left her face.
He drew his voice, and tried to speak. "I... Sometimes... I... I need some time alone."

Rey cocked her head to the side.

His eyes shot up to her, tears almost brimming over the edges. "No, Rey, please." he could almost remember how it had gone when he had asked her to join him. She had given him that look. "I... I love being with you." Then his eyes wandered on the ground before he found the courage to speak again. But Rey's interest in his words was growing, and so was his. His mouth opened and closed as his eyes were locked with hers, as if not being able to voice the words. But in the end, he said it, he shook his head slightly from the frustration it caused. "I... I love you. I love you, Rey." he said with all his heart.

And the next thing he knew, was Rey crawling next to him in the grass and looping her arms around his neck, and pulling him into a tight hug. He hugged her back as they sat on the ground, even tighter. He buried his head in her neck, and let her fingers that ran through his hair soothe him. Rey loved his hair, he knew it.

"Rey, I've tried, I've really tried. But I can't forgive myself for what I did. I did terrible things, things I cannot live with." he said against her skin at last.

He could feel her sliding away from him, yet slowly. And when their faces were only inches apart, her hand slid from his neck to his face. It had been so long since she'd last done that. And she was not angry with him, no way. She was smiling, and tears of joy threatened to spill over the crinkles at the corners of her eyes.

Her hand went up and down his jaw, and cupped his cheek before she spoke. "Let the past be, Ben. What is done, is done. Now live the present. Live it with me." She said as she brought her face closer to his.

Her gaze darted from his lips to his eyes. "And I love you too, Ben. I always did."

And with that, both at the same time, closed the space between them in a kiss. One of her hands was cradling his face, the other was placed on his chest. His arm was wrapped around her waist, his fingers constantly brushing against her tunic, as if he was not sure this was real, as his other hand lightly touched her jaw.

The kiss was gentle and soft at first, the merest touch of his lips on hers, as if it was their first. But it became tender, then passionate. And Rey placed her hand on the ground to seat herself in his lap.

When they broke apart, both of them were flushed, and smiling. The first true smile since arriving on Takodana.

~Thanks for reading! ~

A/N: Any questions until now? This chapter really has an emotional meaning for me:)
Drop in the comments what you liked most about it!
And keep an eye on the hints with the force!

And I know this is a long chapter, but I had to introduce all this stuff. It was even more to say, but I left it out.

I know that in most fanfictions, Rey forgives him almost immediately. But I don't think it is realistic. Because forgiveness and trust request time, and thinking. And Rey needs to balance everything he had done, with how he is becoming now.