Anxiety sucks.
I know what you thinking
"Uh duh"
Yeah yeah
But it sucks.

It's gotten to the point that I have to really convince myself to do things I know I would enjoy, and it's not just being nervous.
It's anxiety for no logical reason.
It's this feeling of dread that keeps popping up, random times.

It's not knowing where your phone is and freaking out, and then finding it but instead of feeling relief you just feel more anxious for hours on end.
It keeps you up at night, it causes physical pain.

It's in the middle of the night when you half asleep having to keep going downstairs to make sure the door is locked, no matter how many times you check it, you still don't believe it's locked.

Over thinking E v e r y t h I n g

Exhaustion after something as simple as a phone call.

Using the bathroom every hour because you worried about having to go on the bus or during a show.

I know it's stupid and I know that a lot of people have it and I'm not special.

But it's affecting my everyday life. I feel like it's over taking me and weighing me down. Like heavy water just piling up, getting bigger and bigger.

I feel like I'm having a constant battle with my brain.

And in a way I guess I am.

Did I mention the pain?? (Cramps)

Oh and you can't forget the nausea

Sorry

I don't usually say a lot if this stuff out loud, at least I don't try too.

I probably sound like a drama queen right now.

But I guess I'm scared??
Because it's getting worse.

And I don't know how much worse it's going to get.