The black dye is everywhere. My hands, my apron, my dresser, my face. Everywhere but my hair. I huff, trying to wipe the dye off my hands so I can grab the box, but It slips from my grasp and clatters to the floor, leaving stains of black in its wake.

'Damn box-dye.' I mutter bitterly as I lean down to grab it with my forearms. Eleanor is dying of laughter in the background, clearly enjoying my suffering.

"I'm glad to see someone's having a good time." i say sarcastically, shooting a glare her way.

"This...is....hilarious.." she says between fits of laughter. "And you thought.... You could...do this yourself...'' she doubles over again, snorting.

"In my defense, I thought it was like boiled iris root. I had no idea there would be so many steps, and It. Is. Everywhere." I wave around the unfurled instruction pamphlet as proof.

I take a look at the remaining dye. There's barely any left; whatever there was is smeared across my dresser and hands. There's not nearly enough to dye my hair. I take a look in the mirror. Streaks of my white hair are now black, unevenly dispersed, making me look like a weirdly striped skunk.

I look over sheepishly at Eleanor. "Fine. I give up. Please help me."

Eleanor, still chortling, gets up from her seat and smiles smugly.

"I knew you'd come to your senses. Alright, let's see." She grabs a brand new box of black hair dye and reads the back.

"Okay. Here's what you did wrong: you didn't mix the proper quantities, you didn't use a spatula, you didn't evenly spread it around your hair, you didn't wait 30 minutes, and you didn't wear gloves." She looks at me. "Did you even read the instructions?"

I bite my lip to keep from grinning. "Umm...no?"

She sighs and shakes her head teasingly. "And you'd think that someone so obsessed with brews and draughts would have the sense to read the instructions."

"Like I said, I thought it was like boiled iris root! Take the root, boil it, put the water on your hair and let it dry. Simple. No need for all these complicated, extra steps." I say indignantly.

"That's not like you, Etharen. You always read the instructions, never assume anything. Is everything alright?" She says, peering worriedly into my face as she mixed the correct amounts of dye and activator.

I avoid her gaze, suddenly uncomfortable. The atmosphere in the room shifts from lighthearted and teasing to serious, concerned.

"I don't know. You're right, I normally read the instructions. I guess...I don't know, I feel kind of.. scared. Out of it. I guess the fact that I'm going is really starting to hit me now. It's.. unsettling. I don't think I can do this."

"Oh, Etharen." She coos. "You can do this. King Ivius wouldn't have chosen you to go in there unless he believed you could handle it. She pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back in wide circles, but her words provide no comfort. Father didn't choose me because he thought I could do it. He chose me because I posed the least risk to Eoria.

But I bite back those thoughts and allow Eleanor to comfort me. I press my head into the crook of her neck and inhale. She smells of rose and baby powder, with hints of rubbing alcohol. The smell of the infirmary, but it's comforting all the same. I feel the tension leave my shoulders and allow myself to melt into her. She's the closest thing to a mother I have, and right now, I'm grateful for that beyond anything else.

"Thank you." I whisper into her shoulder.

When I pull away, spots of black show up on her white shirt. I mumble apologies, but she waves them away, instead grabbing a spatula heaped with black dye.

"Okay, sit, sit." She pushes me gently into a chair in front of the dresser. "I would get you an apron, but it seems like you don't need one." She chuckles inwardly, and begins to lather my hair with the dye as I watch her in the mirror.

***

I stare at myself in the mirror. I look so different that it's unsettling.

My snowy white hair is now raven black, curling down my shoulders in delicate tendrils. My eyes, once green, are now a silvery grey thanks to contacts. I'm wearing the dress from this morning, and I have to admit, I really do look Xeorian.

I run a hand through my hair, trying to get used to it as the last tendrils of sunlight stream in through the window, casting rays of golden light across my bed. I stare out the window, suddenly nervous. The sun has almost set, meaning that pretty soon, we'll be setting off to Middlefell.

The stifling, jittery feeling that hit me with Eleanor has returned, leaving me jumpy and anxiety-ridden. In an hour, I'll be in Xeoria, my life changed for good. The daunting impossibility of the task weighs heavily on my shoulders, leaving me unable to focus enough to work on anything. Instead, I choose to sit on the windowsill and watch the sun dip below the horizon, slowly. I fiddle with the sleeve of my shirt, then get up and pace the room, wearing down the soles of my steel tipped shoes. My sparse belongings are packed. The carriage is loaded, the horses saddled and everyone dressed. The only thing left to do is wait until the moon is up. Each minute drags on and on, feeling like an excruciating eternity, until finally, the sky is painted dark blue and black.

A knock is heard but before I can invite the knocker in, the doors fly open to reveal Silas. He doesn't walk in, but speaks from outside, looking urgent.

"Princess Etharen, it is time to depart. They're waiting for you in the stables."

I put on my white cloak, lift the hood up and leave my bedroom for the last time. Before I close the door, I take a deep breath, scanning it quickly, trying to engrave it into my mind in case I don't make it back.

Silas clears his throat, and I rush down the hallway after him. As we approach the back doors, I halt.

"Wait! Can I go say goodbye?" I ask.

Silas turns around, slightly disgruntled. He checks his watch and huffs impatiently.

"Fine, but hurry. We dont have much time."

I turn on my heel and run to Sapphira's room. I tie my hair back into a tight ponytail to stop it from tumbling out and pull my hood farther up my face, so it covers my eyes. Without stopping to knock, I burst in as she whips around in shock.

"Oh, Etharen! You scared me! Is everything alright?" she exclaims, getting up from her desk strewn with cut flowers and stems

"Sorry, i didn't mean to scare you, it's just that i'm leaving and i wanted to say goodbye, but i need to hurry." The entire time, i keep my eyes hooded and aimed at the floor. Thankfully, the room is quite dark anyway, and I pray that she doesn't notice the change in my irises.

"Now? Why are you leaving at night?" she asks, eyebrows knitting together.

I don't falter. "Brugmansia blooms only at night, so I need to collect it now before it closes again." The lie rolls off my tongue with ease, like second nature. A weak excuse, but it's the best I can do for the moment. Plus, Sapphira isnt one to pry too much, so I'm sure she'll buy it.

She nods, all the confusion leaving her face. "Right. Brugmansia, the angel's trumpet. They're pretty, aren't they."

A smile creeps across my face. I had forgotten that Sapphira also had a vast knowledge of plants and flowers, although for different purposes than me. While I studied the herbs for brews and draughts, she studied them because she found them pretty, and delicate. Not much for violence or politics, Sapphira spent the majority of her time in the gardens, picking flowers and arranging them in pretty vases. Some of the gentry even went so far as to bring her gifts in return for one of her beautiful arrangements.

I nod. "They are. If i can, i'll bring back some for you."

She smiles gratefully. "I'm going to miss you. I don't think I can handle Father, Falkor and Caspian all on my own. Too many boys"

I start to laugh, but i'm cut short when sapphira leans forward and pulls me into a fierce hug.

"Don't be long, okay?" she mumbles into my shoulder.

A wave of emotion washes over me, making my eyes water slightly. She has no idea where I'm actually going, or what I'm actually doing. She has no idea that I might never come back. The thought makes me hold on to her tighter, never wanting to let go. But as she pulls away, I hold back my tears and plaster on a brave smile for her.

"I'll be back before you know it." I promise, trying to stop my voice from breaking. "But I really need to go now."

I pull away and leave the room, but before I can close the door, I flash my older sister a warm smile. Then, I shut the door tightly behind me.

After saying quick goodbyes to Eleanor, I leave through the back doors of the palace and make my way to the stables.

As I approach the wooden hut, I can hear the stamp of hooves and the keening nicker of horses, and the low hum of people talking. The stables come into view, along with Father, Caspian, and Silas, each atop their own white horse. Lady waits patiently next to them

Everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief when I mount her, and I look at them curiously.

"What?" I ask. "Why'd you all sigh like that?"

"We thought you bailed and ran away." Caspian says pointedly.

I scowl at them. "Okay, first of all, I would never do that. I may not like to fight but i'm not a flake. Second, it didn't take that long."

Caspian points to the sky. "We've been waiting for you since the sky was purple. Its completely dark now."

I sigh. Not even 10 minutes in and ive already screwed up. "Can we just go already?"

Our little caravan of horses starts to move forward, Father and Silas in the front and Caspian and I in the back.

"What were you doing for so long anyway?" Caspian asks as our horses start to pick up speed, going from a slow trot to a canter.

"I said goodbye to Sapphira and Eleanor." I say as I shift uncomfortably in the white cloak. It rubs against the scratchy fabric of the dress underneath, making me hot and itchy. I wish I could take it off, but I need to keep it on to hide the dark dress and hair. If anyone were to see me like that, dressed in all black with dark hair and eyes, they would probably lose it and burn me at a stake on the spot.

"What? Why'd you do that? Didn't Sapphira see your eyes?" he exclaims in an outburst of emotion.

"Okay, whoa. What happened to you? So emotional all of a sudden." I say, shaking my head. "Anyway, she didn't notice. The room was dark and I pulled the hood over my head."

He lets out a breath, and looks stonily at me. "Last i checked, having one sister murdered and another go to murder is not the easiest thing to stomach. You do know what the stakes are, right? You can't take risks like that again. Stick to the plan." he chastises.

I open my mouth to retort, but he's already moved on ahead, leaving me alone in the back with my thoughts.

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Word count: 2004