Y'all it had to be fixed I came back to reread it and I almost threw up how did anyone like this I can't believe I PRODUCED this garbage y'all we are editing it. We're editing it and it's not going to hurt us anymore after this, okay? It's just going to be gay and fluffy and we're going to burn the other parts. It's okay. No more nightmares. Honest to fucking god. This is just as much for my mental health as it is for yours. 

K so I wrote this before editing and I just did and I still sorta hate it and it's cringey but you know what it's better. Slightly. It's okay, it's okay. OOC Sasuke has my whole heart. Sometimes. 

Sasuke's pov

I have a slight issue, and his name is Lennox.

It all started a whopping three years ago when I decided to change the route I walk to school on to help my avoid the feral fangirls that flood after me anytime I dare show my face in the streets. This path was a lot longer, but it curved around and took me through a farmland-like area of Konoha. A place no fangirl of mine would dare to step foot in, it just so happens. It was an ideal choice that I was glad to discover. I was more than relieved to find that taking it worked. Nobody, even today, has figured out which road I take. Those who have aren't willing enough to trek through muddy puddles and overgrown grass just to stare at me from afar either. There's no corners to hide themselves behind out there, so subtly wouldn't work. It was the perfect solution to my irritating problem. 

I have never had a crush before, and I've never really held any attraction to girls. These two things should've been pretty clear signs that something was up. I didn't really relate them to one another despite having should've. It flew right over my head. It wasn't that I was dead set on the idea that I was straight. I just... hadn't really considered that there was any other options. I just assumed. I was going to kill Itachi, restore my clan, and bring honor back to the Uchiha name. I was so dead set on my goal that I overlooked the signs blaring in my face.

Or I did at first, anyway. Then I discovered Lennox.

Putting it like that makes it sound like he's some sort of haircare product, but he's not. When I walk to school via my new route, I pass a small brick house. It's pressed up right against what little semblance of a road there is, nothing special about it in the least. It's small, with an impressive garden out front and a chicken coop tucked into the corner out back. I've never wandered too close to the structure. I've never had a reason to. The whole yard is closed in by a white, farm-style fence that would look entirely picturesque if not for the peeling paint and now-rusted nails holding it together. The whole place was old and entirely too easy to look over. Which is what I did my first week or two slinking past it.

I was too caught up in my thoughts at the time. Impossible to consider now, but it was true. Part of me wishes I had never taken the time to really look at the place. The other, much larger part is extremely happy I did. Even if things would be admittedly easier if I had never glanced over that damp Tuesday morning, I couldn't bring myself to regret it. How could I ever regret Lennox? In literally any capacity? Not something I'd ever admit to anyone out loud, but true nonetheless.

I spotted him quite fast, and then it was game over from thereon out. He was a little younger than me, sporting a head full of wild, ginger hair and a pair of striking green eyes that captivated my surprisingly pathetic and weak heart almost immediately. He was out in the garden watering a variety of colorful flowers and springy plants. I could hear him humming quietly to himself as I got closer. I almost thought he was dangerous when I first spotted him because of the way my heart increased and my eyes refused to pry themselves away. An idiotic assumption in hindsight, but I have submitted myself to the fact that I'm an idiot in love. It's too late for me. 

Lennox was the picture of innocence. Like a baby deer out in the middle of a field of fauna and butterflies. I still managed to feel vaguely threatened by his very existence. Probably because at that point, I somehow still hadn't realized how absolutely gay I am. And that I had spotted someone my brain dictated as cute. Someone that I was-- for once in my short, rather depressing life-- attracted to. Like for real. Actually drawn to. Full face flush and all. 

My face burned hotter than a thousand suns and I hurried by, confused with myself and the sudden spike of my rather dull emotions. Everything bubbled to the surface and took me by the next. Grabbed me around the middle and suplexed me straight into the dirt and made sure to ground my face there to boot. It was a perplexing time. Back then, I was a fish in a pond I didn't recognize or know how to navigate. It was new, dangerous territory. Still sort of is, but I digress. It wasn't my fault. I was a tiny little brat at the time, and I was just then discovering what it meant to find someone else cute. 

This went on for a solid two weeks. It's pathetic to admit. I'll take the secret to my grave. I'd peek at him like a shy little school girl and then rush past, taking in his short stature and rosy cheeks as I went, and his dozens of freckles littering his face and arms. I had no idea what the fuck was happening. I knew a lot of my classmates were beginning to gain crushes, or already had. Hence the whole fangirl issue. I'd seen the signs on other people-- I simply didn't recognize them in myself. The idea was planted in my nine year old brain. Get strong, grow up, kill Itachi, marry a girl and restore the clan. Like a mantra. What was I, a one man cult? 

And then we made eye contact, and it was over. 

After three months of being confused and staring at Lennox as I passed by, he finally spotted me. Coming out of his little bubble and noticing the outside world. I felt my heart flutter, and my face went red as a beet when our gazes connected. My already pounding heart picked its pace up and the bright red blush of embarrassment that spread across his face made me want to squish his cheeks. I felt my own face heat up too, and when he offered me a shy smile and a nervous wave, I knew exactly what was happening to me. Because as dense as I was as a child, I was still no idiot, and it was only a matter of time before it occurred to me what was going on.

I waved back after getting over my brief moment of shock, forcing a smile and sprinting off as fast as my stubby little legs could carry me. I tried to deny it for a long time, but it was too clear to ignore. I had to accept the obvious. I had a disgustingly soft crush on a boy. My plans to restore a clan with a woman, after my discovery, sounded suddenly volatile. Again, I was only a kid at the time. Hardly knew how it worked, but books can tell you a lot when no one supervises what you read. Thinking of marrying a girl made me feel a little queasy. It just didn't feel right. The thought of forcing myself into that made me frown. The idea was less than appealing, and I found myself daydreaming about Lennox instead.

From that day on, Lennox was careful to always acknowledge me with a smile and a wave. He always seemed shy and nervous when he did it, like he was a little scared of me, but it was the absolute highlight of my dull day. Everyday I would rush with crushing anticipation to pass his house. I would carefully smile and wave back. Coming to accept that I had a crush on a boy had been the best thing I'd ever done. The ship had left the harbor and was off to sail. It was too late for me. Though, it still left an issue to be solved. A rather notable one if I do say so myself.

Itachi. My clan-killing brother.

You see, someone has to restore the clan. And it isn't going to be me. I don't want that responsibility. I'm gay and I hate kids! I knew that from the time I was ten and still a child. It just really sunk in and I realized that this life wasn't going to cut it. If I don't want kids and I don't like girls, how is the clan going to get revived? Itachi, the creator of this problem to begin with, was also the only possible solution I could come up with. He's an Uchiha just like me. My last choice all thigns considered, but I knew what I had to do. I had to bring him back, reform him, and get him a girlfriend. Simple. Easy. I could do that, right?

Truth be told, Itachi killing the Uchiha clan was... suspicious. If he wanted to test his strength he just as easily could've gone for the Nara or Hyuga clans of Konoha. No, he'd gone for the Uchiha instead. Thinking hard about that night, I could remember him crying, looking back at me like his entire world had shattered. I'd thought I'd imagined it for a long time, but I don't think I did. There's more to the story. Hopefully. Again, I'm not having kids, but one of us has to do it. Itachi started this. He can finish it. 

It had been a hard decision to make. I wrestled with myself for a few months, wondering if I should just buck up and distance myself now. Try to forget about my silly little crush and prepare myself for the idea of one day marrying a girl. Yeah, didn't do that. After a year, my crush on Lennox was only growing. We'd never even talked and he still managed to be the best thing in my life. I had to have sympathy for the fangirls that still tailed me on the regular. I finally understood how they felt. Lennox was absolute perfection in my eyes. Best thing on the entire planet. Were I slightly creepier, maybe I'd follow him around anytime he left his house and send him anonymous love letters.

I'm so damn gay, and I'm okay with that. I've come to terms and adjusted. 

By the time I hit eleven I was completely find with who I was. I had accepted myself in my entirety and what I was going to have to do. My resentment for Itachi was still strong. I'm absolutely going to sock him in the face. Cripple him for life, because does he really need both legs to make a baby? I can't kill him off when he's the one slim chance the clan has for revival. I was completely homosexual and my despise for children only grew stronger as I aged. I don't see that ever changing. I even have someone I want to marry, as stupid as it sounds considering I've never met him. Again, I really know how the fangirls feel. If only they knew. 

Now that I'm about to graduate my academy, it's becoming clearer to me that it's time. For years I've been too pussy to talk to Lennox. To properly introduce myself rather than smiling and waving from a distance. I know my crush isn't normal. It's too strong and has gone on too long to be. I hardly know Lennox. I mean, I know about him. It's not that I stalk him! I just... have had my ways of getting to know who he is, how old he is, and his name. I even carry a picture of him around in my pocket! Which is extremely creepy, but therapuedic at the same time. Not important. I'm going to graduate. I'll legally be recognized as an adult, and my strides towards independence and my goal to bring Itachi to some form of justice are getting closer. That can only mean one thing...

It's time to pursue my dream.

~

Guys what is this. What was I thinking when I decided this should be a story I- You have my deepest apologies. Enjoy super OOC Sasuke. It's not changing. His personality is gone. Idk what that was. Bye shawty I'm out.